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The Marriage-Ruining Robot
Played By: Rhekarid

The Marriage-Ruining Robot by Rhekarid

TEAM: The Syndicate



Hall Of Fame!

Survival - 12 wins!

Brutal - 1 fatalaties!

Fight Record
League Wins: 8
League Losses: 3
Out Of League Wins: 4
Out of League Losses: 2
Total Wins: 12
Total Losses: 5
Erisian Lartronis - Win 17-9
Deranged Avenger - Win 11-9
Charlie - Win 18-7
Daybreak - Win 11-6
Brother Bedros' - Win 13-6
Neurosis - Win 12-11
Atom-A-Ton - Loss 13-15
Thomas Bishop - Loss 13-14
Adieu, Discriminals! - Win 16-4
Armitage - Win 17-11
The Rewriters - Win 16-5
Fastest Pussycat - Loss 11-12
Wired // un-death - Loss 9-13
Chakos - Win 10-8
Robot-Killer Aria - Win 20-14
Arick Huebris - Win 15-7
Judgment - Loss 12-18

Everybody wants to be the pool boy. All the rich folk want to have affairs with him, as he's beautiful and naive and never wears a shirt while he's sweeping the pool. But everyone tends to think he's a little slow, too, and that's simply not the case. The pool boy has feelings too. He cares about those rich folk who want exciting affairs so badly, that's the entire reason *why* he's a pool boy...but it's a hard job. You can't do it alone. And he's not slow; in fact, he built a robot. That's right, why not? A robot that can ruin your marriage while he's home sick, or working elsewhere. He cares about your needs, and so does his robot, albeit in a slightly cold and monotone way.


Personality: The Marriage-Ruining Robot is bursting with affection and infidelity, and wants to share it with the world. Sure, it doesn't have /real/ feelings, but synthetic ones are almost as good. It's smart and kind and not a bad conversationalist, much better than the average machine, but it IS still a machine. It lacks refined grace and subtle social rules, though some would say it's simply honest. The MRR has a simple goal and driving enthusiasm, and it works hard. Those marriages won't ruin themselves! Well, half of them will, but that's not the point.




Superior The pinnacle of human strength.
Can bench press 1000 pounds.


Weak BELOW normal human agility.
Slow and uncoordinated.


Superior Hardy.
Takes punishment like a heavyweight fighter or wrester.


Standard Normal human mental resources.

Press Any Key For Sex

  • Power: Pheremones
  • Level:Superior
  • Kit Power Link: Avatar
There's something about the MRR that makes it more alluring than most men. Maybe it's the way it offers you flowers on a romantic whim. Maybe it's the confidence and esteem in its jaunty hat. Or maybe it's because the flowers are laced with Rohypnol. Regardless, its loving mechanical heart throbs with an irresistible charm and an internal combustion engine that ensures it can always take more drinks than its date can.


It may not always make the first move, but that's simply because it knows what its doing. The MRR won't even say hello if it doesn't spot the glint of a ring on your finger. Those glowing yellow eyes take in every detail of someone's personality, what makes them tick, and the thinnest point of trust in their relationship. It would gladly offer a shoulder to lean on and an ear to vent to, if it had either. But even without, that doesn't stop it from assessing the foundation of a marriage to know just which brick to pull out.


It's really more sweet than it sounds to wink by deactivating the lights in one eye. The flat, honest charm is enough to make most people trust the MRR, and the subliminal Hypnotic Winking Array deals with the others. Once it has a person's complete trust and faith, it has one foot in the door. Or wheel, rather. From there it's just the clever placement of -DOES USER WISH TO DEPART TO MY AREA OF RESIDENCE?-, followed by a quick specification to everyone else in the building as to whom it was yelling at.

Slap-absorbing plating

No program is perfect. That's where persistence comes in. Sometimes an individual is simply in a bad mood, and attempted affection simply results in a smack to the face. Of course, when your face is made of steel, that tends to lead to a broken hand. From there, proper care and medical attention will often make someone warm up to the MRR and its loving ways, at which point the program becomes routine. It's certainly better than the alternative, which is having a robot not programmed to understand failure seducing you for nine hours until the next battery recharge.

To remember me by

  • Power: Toxic Touch
  • Level:Standard
  • Seeker This attack hunts and follows its target.
The pool boy knows where these things tend to lead, and so does his robot. Don't ask how exactly it works, that's probably best left as one of life's mysteries. After an amazing night, there's nothing quite like having your lover lean across the bed, and mechanically bellow in your ear -I HAVE STD'S!-. Weapons-grade Electrogonorrhea is no joke, kids, and not something your husband wants to find out you've mysteriously obtained. Which is kind of the point; it's not the quietest thing you can come down with.

Less-Than-Subtle Traces

  • Power: Smoke Screen
  • Level:Standard
  • Area Effect This attack causes damage in a large area.
Eventually the time comes to leave. Most people, when cheating, would make an effort to leave as little evidence of their actions as possible. Having a slightly different goal in mind, the MRR makes an effort to expel a blinding cloud of easily-traced chemicals that stain the entire room and rob the eyesight of anyone present, making it impossible to clean up. In fact, their stumbling about breaking things simply makes the scene even more incriminating. You may not have an airtight case with a dirty dress, but half an apartment building should do the trick.


Having fulfilled its program, the Marriage-Ruining Robot enters the reboot process, using the finely tuned "Damn, I gotta get out of here" protocol. By the time the smoke clears and any protests can be made, the MRR is gone, safely deposited in the pool boy's garage until it is needed again. The rich folk of Khazan salute you, Marriage-Ruining Robot, for as long as their spouses are dull and middle-aged, you WILL be needed again.