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The Entirely-Plausible Penguin
Played By: Landon

The Entirely-Plausible Penguin by Landon

TEAM: Sentinels

SECTOR: UPTOWN

KIT CLASS: Avatar

The Duke of UPTOWN

Hall Of Fame!

Survival - 25 wins!

Brutal - 1 fatalaties!

Fight Record
League Wins: 9
League Losses: 3
Out Of League Wins: 16
Out of League Losses: 2
Total Wins: 25
Total Losses: 5
Master Debator - Win 15-6
The Sorceress of Sanctuary Park - Win 23-7
Myrror Rokuhane - Win 17-14
Otter: The Otter From Outer Space - Win 22-8
The Barrel of Monkeys - Win 20-11
Lemming Collective - Win 12-11
Full Trucker Effect - Win 16-12
Hakariel - Win 14-12
Lucid - Win 18-14
Stella Aurorae - Win 15-14
Rubix - Win 14-10
The Ancient Beast - Loss 10-13
Ghiest - Loss 6-11
Nevercroft - Loss 6-9
Atom-A-Ton - Win 14-8
CB1K: Kitten in a Blender - Win 11-7
Inju: Romantic Tentacle - Win 14-12
Wick & Ed - Win 13-11
Forte - Loss 10-13
Nurse Helia - Win 17-5
Chakos - Loss 8-11
Dr. Timothy - Win 13-8
Fastest Pussycat - Win 13-7
Creathers - Win 11-7
Clara Ands - Win 9-6
Baron of Ether - Win 11-2
Robot-Killer Aria - Win 11-4
Bunny - Win 10-3
Chrysponia - Win 11-3
Armageddon Arms Dealer - Win 8-7

Seven o'clock at Jack's Pub and Grill, your run-of-the-mill neighborhood chain restaurant-slash-bar in the middle of a suburban shopping center parking lot. Guys and gals fresh out of work are replacing their dead-end job-induced headaches with alcohol-induced stupors.

The doors swing open and in walks a small, stocky figure decked out in a business casual duds. The pudgy figure waddles over to the stool at the end of the bar and lifts itself up onto the stool, its eyes narrowly peering over the edge.

"A Bud Lite," the figure groans in a mid-west American "accent," "in a bottle, and some jalapeno poppers."

The bartender smiles as he hands the beer to the average-looking penguin. "How's the family?" the bartender enquires, "Those little bastards you call kids running you ragged?"

"Nah. I never get home during the week before the brats go to bed and on the weekend I just tell the missus 'deal with it, I'm watching the game' when she nags me about playing with them."

The penguin and the bartender have a hearty laugh and proceed to talk about sports, booze, and that hot new waitress with the big you-know-whats that works the closing shift.

 

Personality: If you were to assume that the Entirely-Plausible Penguin was related to the Semi-Rational Penguin, your assumption would be correct for the two penguins are fraternal twins.

A theory proposed by a Khazanian tabloid stated that the Semi-Rational Penguin and the Entirely-Plausible Penguin were the personifications of Yin and Yang. While the idea amused SRP, EPP sued the tabloid for character assassination. He won.

The tabloid was probably right.

 

Strength:

 

 Weak BELOW normal human strength -
can bench press 50 pounds (maybe).		Agility:

 

Weak BELOW normal human agility.
Slow and uncoordinated.
Body:

 

Ultimate Godlike endurance.
Shrugs off damage which would destroy cities. 		Mind:

 

Standard Normal human mental resources.

Aura of the Mundane

  • Power: Polymorph
  • Level:Ultimate
  • Kit Power Link: Avatar
  • Seeker This attack hunts and follows its target.
  • Ranged and Melee Attack! Attack is equally effective at range and up close.
A wave of the mundane arrives with the appearance of the EPP. Trendy clothing becomes off-the-rack Wal-Mart faire. Foreign movies suddenly become dubbed into English. "Unconventional" couples file for divorce.

It isn't like the EPP does this on purpose. He holds no malice towards that-which-is-not-average, he simply doesn't understand it because it isn't packaged into an easy-to-digest reality TV program or cable news program. The EPP simple chose to react to cosmic-level awareness and godlike ability with middle-class apathy.

And for the record, "superpowers" aren't exactly something he considers normal. You can figure out the rest.

Everybody Knows Your Name

"Penguin!"

The Status Symbol

One Green Chevy Suburban. On the bumper is a sticker that reads "Support Our Troops In The War Against The Fallen." Inside you will find a child-safety seat, a cup holder with a day old Starbucks latte, and the latest Dave Matthews Band CD. The engine is a "manly" v6 Hemi. The EPP could have opted for the hybrid model, but the extra $1000 wasn't in his budget.

Sure, he could use his powers cosmic to teleport wherever he pleased, but the cooler crowd at work aren't impressed by anything that doesn't require monthly payments for six years.

Suburban Relapse

To the untrained eye, that which we know as Suburbia is little more than a labyrinthine wasteland. The strip malls, gated communities, and chain restaurants blend together to create a dream-like horror whose terror is trumped only by its sheer absurdity.

One could call the EPP the Allan Quatermain of Suburbia.

He wouldn't get the reference.

What is Old is New and Vice Versa

  • Power: Closed Mind
  • Level:Ultimate
  • Kit Power Link: Avatar
The EPP is set in his ways. Always has, and always will, think the way he thinks.

Funny thing about that; back in the day he was the oddity. You know how they were back in the old school ancient days. Orgies and debauchery and human sacrifice and idol worship. Naughtiness abound. Despite this, he has always been known as the Entirely-Plausible Penguin.

That isn't very plausible, is it? Want an answer to that question? There isn't an answer.