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CB1K: Kitten in a Blender
Played By: Captain Moltar

CB1K: Kitten in a Blender by Captain Moltar

TEAM: The Syndicate

SECTOR: Lowtown

KIT CLASS: Energy Conduit

Energy Conduit Knight Errant

Hall Of Fame!

Survival - 11 wins!

Brutal - 2 fatalaties!

Fight Record
League Wins: 9
League Losses: 3
Out Of League Wins: 2
Out of League Losses: 19
Total Wins: 11
Total Losses: 22
Black - Win 0-0
Jeffrey Fortune, Esquire - Win 0-0
Gear XT-001 - Win 0-0
Son of Samurai Hamster - Win 0-0
Lovers of Light and Dark - Win 0-0
Hunted - Win 0-0
Mike, The Perverted One - Loss 0-0
Ryan, Evil Genius - Win 0-0
Captain Soda Pop VI - Win 0-0
Coverage - Win 0-0
Fail - Loss 0-0
Unsubtle: Vitamin T - Loss 0-0
The Semi-Rational Penguin - Loss 9-10
The Semi-Rational Penguin - Loss 9-10
Wick & Ed - Loss 6-12
Atom-A-Ton - Loss 9-10
Wick & Ed - Loss 7-11
The Fairview Fires - Loss 3-6
Forte - Loss 11-13
Chakos - Win 7-5
The Entirely-Plausible Penguin - Loss 7-11
Baron of Ether - Loss 9-11
Arick Huebris - Loss 9-12
Baby - Loss 7-14
Seryph Gibbons - Loss 5-15
Whisper - Loss 5-9
Christopher Marlowe - Loss 3-10
Lovecraft - Loss 3-12
Ravenna Alighieri - Loss 5-8
Armageddon Arms Dealer - Loss 4-10
Crow is of Death, Crow is of Doom - Loss 4-10
Dangerman: Jack of All Rescues - Loss 4-10
The Last Virgin of Pele Island - Win 7-5
Nathaniel Jarvis - Loss 2-6

The great evil scientist Dr. Devia stood tall in her laboratory, looking out over her small army of henchgirls and lab assistants, each dressed in a different animal type costume. She stood with crossed arms before a giant monitor, watching the latest battles unfold on the Khazan arena floor. "Hahahah!!! Poor fools! Little do they realize that all their efforts are worth nothing. Not one of these weaklings have the mental fortitude, the shear genius to stand up to my inventions! Soon the world...no, the entire megaverse will bow down before the might of--" "DOCTOR DEVIA!!!" A shout from one of her girl assistants interrupted her, causing her to slip and lose her composure. The source of her iritation, one of her younger assistants, Kitten, bounced up in front of her, hopping up and down in celebration. "Dr. Devia, I did it! The experiment was a complete success! I gave myself the injection an hour ago, and I've been doing all the tests...glass, knives, pins, needles, throwing stars, katanas, battle axes, the works, and I'm completely invulnerable to sharp or pointy objects! We rule, doctor!" The doctor composed herself, stood upright, pushed her glasses back in place, and paged the other girls in her lab. They assembled before her and kitten, and she prepared to make a refined speech. "SHUT UP YOU DWITHERING TWIT! *WE* WILL NOT RULE, *I* WILL RULE!!! AND NEVER...EVER INTERRUPT ONE OF MY MONOLOGUES!!!" Kitten collapsed on her knees and looked up at the doctor in surprise and anguish, tears in her eyes. "I...I'm sorry doctor...I didn't mean..." "OH be quiet!" the doctor said. She leaned over, smiled, and laid a comforting hand on Kittens shoulder. "You know, you still haven't tried one test yet on your new, pointy-proof body." "R...Really?" Kitten stammereded back, choking back tears. The doctor closed her eyes, held Kitten tight, until her lab assistant started to relax. "HOLD HER DOWN GIRLS!!!" she shouted, and Kitten's fellow assistants mobbed her and drew her out on the floor, arms and legs spread eagle. Dr. Devia walked through the circle of assistants, goggles on her face...and chainsaw in her hands, cranked and ready. "Let's see how you handle THIS!" Following a prolonged scream filled blitz-chainsaw attack on the young assistant, the doctor stepped away, satisfied. Kitten got up, looking marked up, mangled, generally raw, very very dizzy, but generally healthy. The doctor put her hand on her shoulder and told her to walk with her. "You did very well, and you deserve a reward. However, you also did a very bad thing, and you must be punished. Fortunately, I have a way to kill both birds with one stone." The pair walked before a large, darkened enclove, followed by the other assistants. The lights in the recess flashed on, revealing a large, impressive but goofy looking robot...basicly a 4 meter tall blender with cylindrical, wiry arms and legs ending in sneakers and large cartoon-like gloves. "Let me intruduce you to my latest masterpiece, the Cruelbot 1000! GIRLS!!!" With a shriek, begging and much crying from Kitten, the other girls operated the machinery that took off the top side of the robot, and unceremoniously dumped her in the blender. Kitten stood up, straddling the rotating blades at the bottom of the blender. "Dr. Devia, please, don't leave me like this! This is just TOO cruel!" "Stop your whining!" she replied, "of course it's too cruel, THAT'S the point! No hero would dare attack the Cruelbot 1000, as in instant retaliation the blender will come to life and just rip your pathetic little body all over the place. Under the threat of harm to such a cute, innocent girl as yourself, any true hero would rather take a loss, a rather nasty beating, and walk away rather then risk your life for some chamionship. "Wait!" Kitten cried, "What about the villains, most of them won't even CARE what happens to me!" "HA!" laughed Dr. Devia. "That's a joke. Nobody is as evil as me, so even they'd be somewhat hampered, in fact, just the opposite, some of them may be too busy laughing at you to pay attention to the robot, and they'd get KO'd! My plan is foolproof! Girls, turn on the robot and send it to the Khazan Arena registration booth! Don't worry Kitten, I already signed you registration sheet and medical release form for you, and the robot can fight for itself, so you just have to sit back and relax." "WAAAHHHH!!!!" cried Kitten, the Cruelbot 1000 stomping off with her in it's belly. "I DON'T WANNA DIE! I DON'T WANNA BE MANGLED...I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!" The insidious Dr. Devia walked away, waving behind her back. "You'll just have to hold it. We all have to make sacrifices for greatness! Wombat, get me a triple moccha. I have to get started on my next creation, just in case."


Personality: The Cruelbot 1000 is a great, gawky blender-based robot that moves with wild flailing actions. Kitten is an extremely frightened and terrorized young girl with cute cat ears and a cute cat tail, who's cries of anguish are shouted over loudspeakers, and any attempt to talk an official into getting her out of the robot or reasoning with an opponent is translated into a cheesy, pre-prepared speech declaring victory by the evil Dr. Devia, or an equally cheesy series of taunts and insults. The idea is very simple: either get beaten down by the Cruelbot 1000, or every attack on it triggers a similar blending action on the poor Kitten, going anywhere from light mixing to high powered puree'. For hero's, the morality of the situation is as tough to beat as the robot. For some reason that even Dr. Devia can't fully understand, the Cruelbot 1000 enjoys spending it's freetime wandering around Lowtown picking on people like a bully, or otherwise lounging about Marauder mansion.




Supreme Superhuman strength.
Can bench press a skyscraper.


Standard Normal human agility.


Superior Hardy.
Takes punishment like a heavyweight fighter or wrester.


Weak BELOW normal human mental power.
Not the sharpest tack in the drawer.

The Cruelbot 1000

  • Power: Mechanized Armor
  • Level:Ultimate
  • Reinforced Defenses Defense blocks Armor Piercing attacks.
The Cruelbot 1000 is a great, lumbering robot that stands about eight meters high, it's torso a giant blender with Kitten inside. It's great, chrome, wiry arms stretch out with white gloved hands to beat, grab, crush and strangle opponents, while it's giant-robot sized sneakers carry it across the arena floor. The glass of the blender is not, in fact, glass, but the same wierd science material used to build the rest of the robot, just transparent. A great, super deformed picture of Dr. Devia making a victory sign is on it's top, it's belt buckle, and the bottom of it's shoes.

Counter vs Kitty: Blend away!

Whenever any attack is registered against the Cruelbot, it's blades start spinning and Kitten is tossed around screaming in terror...the greater the attack against the robot, the greater the torment inflicted on Kitten, and the Cruelbots attacker must deal with the consequences.

The Cries Of The Cute

  • Power: Mind Blast
  • Level:Superior
  • Kit Power Link: Energy Conduit
  • Auto-Hit This mental attack hits the target automatically, but may or may not effect them.
When the Cruelbot is attacked, Kittens cries at being blended are amplified and carried across the battlefield, not hurting opponents from a sonic attack, but making them cringe at the girls cries. No matter how many times Kitten is diced though, she always gets up crying, but with no major injury, thanks to a sharpy-thing-proof potion she invented for Dr. Devia.

Gloves of Bashing

The giant, white gloved hands of the Cruelbot 1000 flail about, battering, smashing and tossing around it's opponent.

Stretchy Chrome Arms&Legs

  • Power: Elongation
  • Level:Standard
  • Ranged Attack Attack usable at a distance (only).
The chrome metal tentacle-like arms of the Cruelbot 1000, attached to it's cartoony white gloved hands and giant sneakered feet, can stretch into the air or across the battlefield.

Psy Protection

After long weeks of continued battling in and around the arenas of Khazan, Dr. Devia brought the CB1K back into her lab for some quick adjustments. While it would take entirely too long to enact any serious redesign, she did have time to add a certain amount of extra defenses. Since it was demonstrated in the ring that certain psychic abilities had a way of interfering with the robots (rather minimal) intelligence, she decided the most appropriate thing to do was to add special shielding to the more vulnerable areas of the Cruelbots central processor.