I have a peculiar function in my life down here on Khazan. Life, the word seems so trivial when you've known the guy who started it all. There are many types of Angel out there in the world. So many angels for different Gods of different Universes. The numbers are mind boggling. My God wasn't the first. He did not create all in this storyline which would allude the reader to believe that I would be an invincible servant of "Him". Heck, he wasn't even second on the Omnipotent "Who started it all" Ladder. He probably forgot what number he was. The gifts given to "Him" was still staggeringly powerful. I mean, to make something out of nothing...It's great power. Makes me want to talk about it. But not too much. I save my lot in life primarily for him, and sometimes for those that he created. Now, this is the part where you're probably thinking, "so why the hell (pardon my Blasphemy) are you in this tournament of champions for Khazan of all places?" Well, I guess I'll just have to tell you what exactly my "job" is. I am the Voice for God. Go ahead and snicker before I explain myself fully...go ahead...get it off your chest...Now, the "Voice for God" does not mean "Voice of God". Heck, he created all, why in God's name would he need "A Voice". He's the best advocate of his own word and quite frankly if he asked one of us to go down with a decree, we'd probably screw it up somehow, then get banished, never get to pass by St. Peter, tipping him a few extra bucks to get the good parking spot, never get to live out Angelic Anime schoolgirl fantasies anymore, and what's worst, we can forget about being able to watch you humans undetected during mid-coitus just to see your faces and then laughing our wings off. No he doesn't need "A Voice". But he oftentimes needs someone to shmooze with. You know, after a hard days work of passing judgment he's got to do something with his down time. That's where I come in. My usual hangouts have been the bars just because you can get some of the most wildest stories from the inebriated. That's right, I collect stories. I am not only the ultimate sponge of knowledge, I'm a great entertainer as well. I mean, after a few thousand years, theatre can get pretty mundane from the same performer, especially if your audience is the "Director of all productions". (Yeah, that was a God Reference). But, I'm rambling now. I think you've heard enough about me. I'm currently seeking more modern conversation pieces on this trip. Perhaps even throw in some Religious comedy just to keep it light.
Immunity: God Wannabes
Some Folk take awhile to get their story told. You can imagine how many days we sat around a campfire writing the The "Good Book". I mean, we already had a prerequisite for the thing, it had to be "good". I told the remaining perveyors of the word of Christ that the word of mouth thing might not go over too well. The apostle guys just seemed to like the idea of putting everything down. They took turns between sleep and writing whilst I edited non-stop. They began to wonder why I didn't have a need for sleep. I just told them I was... um... inspired by God, which they took with a big grain of salt. I was actually the one to make sure that the word "God" was exactly in the center of the whole book. Made it a bit symbolic for all those future theology majors that would take the time to count each word and figure it out. People thought it was divine consequence. Nah, just divine editing. Funny though, my presumed insomnia never made it into the final draft.
Emotion Control: Superior
Ahh, the oral tradition. The oldest form of storytelling, mind you. I think I was the first to coin the phrase if not actually start it. In fact I didn't start it. I just heard the first story. It was from this guy who had a neighbor that seemed to live forever. He got his equally old wife knocked up about three times and then spent most of his days drinking while she took care of the family and made money to survive and pay for the husbands inebriated state. This guy had the good life and should be punished for what he hasn't done. Well, I told this to "The Man" and he seemed extremely interested. For some reason "He" felt it fitting that this man would have to survive a flood and start the entire human race over again with his family, the only survivors on the Earth. Those mysterious ways can really be misunderstood sometimes, but at least I got some credit for that natural disaster. Oh... These... yeah their wings... Here, let me tuck those back again. Not really good if you want to keep a low profile around believers. Here, let me explain the whole wings thing since it gets somewhat convoluted in Khazanian presence. I only use them if I have to prove my word to the denizens of our creator. I mean, what's the point of fighting or flying for that matter? Sure it looks cool, but in Khazan, angels are a dime a dozen out there and many people have just grown accustomed to "flying beings" in general. I mean, the "look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane" thing has really worn out it's welcome. It's these aviators that really get on my nerves sometimes. They come up to me, wanting to fight, and I ask them... "Why fight?" "What's the point?" "What has been the point of your existence?" Get them talking... ask them to the bar for a drink, listen to their story, and finally complete my mission at hand. So yeah, basically I only use the wings here to provoke either laughter, awe, or just more conversation about religion. Which some people are really adamant about. I mean, for example, Witnesses of Jehova. Man... those are some people even I can't understand.
Mind Control: Supreme
- Ranged Attack Only
- Auto-Hit Attack
- Target Seeker
Have you ever started a really good story and someone tries to interrupt you just to provoke a fight. Usually I'm way ahead of them. Picture the scene: My would be attackers bust in weapons flaring and then calm down suddenly... sit... and listen to the story at hand. For example, I started talking about the greatest modern day Epic and then began explaining the religious tones which, in my opinion, inspired the whole story. Let me tell you some of it in brief: "It's all about organized religion. And societies battle against it. The rebels are fighting the empire. Now the empire is led by whom? Darth Vader... no... it's led by the emperor. And the Emperor is a practitioner of the force. Albeit the dark side of the force. And the force is basically a religion. So the entire galaxy is under imperial rule and the imperial government is run by this old religion. What you have there my friend is a theocracy. A government, run by the church. So Luke, Han, and Leia are fighting that government to liberate the galaxy from the pious grip of what is in essence the holy mother church. (This excerpt was taken from a story teller by the name of Kevin Smith)" Now, you can't tell me that that didn't make sense. You were enthralled with that piece... weren't you. Don't second guess yourself... you know it's possible. But, back to the point at hand... When those that leave my presence do remember their alternate motives I'm on to the next bar... and the next story.
Immunity: Fire & Brimstone
Energy Sheath: Standard
I love to cause a little controversy sometimes upstairs. I mean, that's how stories are made. Difference of opinion. Laughing at someone else's expense. So of course I often have dealings with the Morningstar. What greater butt of jokes is there for "The One" that cast down the greatest likeness of himself? Yes, you can say his name, you won't rot in hell... though I won't make any promises. Now, let me tell you a story that hasn't past through the lips of a preacher, or a human for that matter. This is the story of Halsphetus. He was born in a country unknown, and extinct to the rest of the world now. In fact he was the first test of God. Animals, plant life, Life in general, didn't need a test run, it was "good" the first time. No, God needed some time and patience for a new breed of being. Halsphetus, was the first man, yes, I kid you not. We actually went through a few trial and error runs on the human race. Adam was the first one to behave decently enough to have a rib removed for a mate. Which as you know didn't turn out that well, and God sort of gave up and just let them go at it. I'm trailing off topic, back to Halsphetus... He was very peculiar. God commanded him to sleep, he would pick his nose. God commanded him to tend to the animals and plants of paradise, he would make funny noises through his cheeks and slide his rectum on the ground much like a dog would do. God commanded him to not eat from the Sacred Apple tree, he didn't understand, found a rock, shaped it into a blade, and began to not eat from the tree... oh no, he cut it down and burnt it. The Big man immediately smote him... and the tree... and inadvertently created the first bout of "confusion". The test subjects, following this first gradually got some sense created into them, but it never, ever will be totally perfect.