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Let us take a visit to the realm of the FUBAR. Enter the highly Phallic FUBAR Headquarters, where things rarely are ever the same twice. As you enter the building, you stop...and wonder for a moment why the hell a pair of potted ferns have been following you since your arrival. You shrug and get to the front desk, where a receptionist is battling to keep her desk from eating her last set of writing utensils...you ask the said receptionist where you must go to meet representatives from a group known only as: (Dramatic Chord plays, Thunder Crashes, Horse Neighs, Goldfish Swims) The Clan of a Thousand IOUs. The receptionist yells at you a bizarre set of directions while yelling obscenities at her ferocious anti-productivity desk...you are confused as to whether or not there is a "F(Censored)ing Elevator"...but then you realize she WASN'T cursing at the desk that time. It appears that there really is an elevator labeled, "The F(Censored)ing Elevator." You go about eight floors up. Reaching your floor, you walk to an overly wide corridor. Is it just you, or were those ferns following you since you entered the building? Well, at the opposite end of the corridor are four doors. The First door has a blank sign, signifying the Little boy-ninja room. The door next to it has another blank sign, signifying the Little girl-ninja room. (If you cannot tell the difference between doors, you will be mocked.) The door next to this has the FUBAR logo placed on its sign, below it is proclaimed in large polka-dot lettering "NOBODY EVER EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" The final entrance has a stickfigure of a man with a gun pressing his body against a wall as he peered around a corner...this sign was labeled "INTRUDER". It should be noted that what is behind this door is actually a set of Miniguns in back near a service entrance, a bottomless pit full of spikes in front of that, with blade shooter traps on the right and left wall...and a pre-progammed voice recording of the Wisdom of Sensei Kung-Fu Master Bob with Hidden LotMU Combat Grade Battle Gong set to "Enlighten with the Utmost Prejudice." You have entered the realm of the Clan of a Thousand IOUs, the FUBAR Clan of mentally unbalanced (if you say 'imbalanced', a Ninja Death Squad will be summoned and sent to your home within 5 minutes...THIS IS NOT AN IDLE THREAT!) Ninja. Their de-facto leader in the eyes of the FUBAR is known as "LotFU-Student Dave." Dave's de-facto Master is Sensei Kung-Fu Master Bob...but the true leader of the Clan of a Thousand IOUs is Bob's cousin...Sensei Ninjitsu Master Rob...angered at the recent battles initiated by the White Ninja, Rob has finally found an excuse to let loose an endless black clad swarm of death across Khazan...now, let us take a look at their origin...
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You NEVER see Ninja
 Invisibility: Supreme
Silently, Sensei Ninjitsu Master Rob entered his classroom, sitting down at the desk at one end of a standard, high school classroom. It was the first day of Clan Initiation. Each Ninja was prepared to die on this day, and each might if they weren't smart. He slowly scanned the completely empty room...or at least it SHOULD be completely empty. There, in a desk near the center of the room, was a lone Ninja. He sat their, silently twiddling his thumbs, unaware of the impending doom. Master Rob looked directly at him for a moment, the lone Ninja looking a bit nervous..."BAKA-YARO!" Rob screamed, "YOU HAVE DISHONORED YOUR CLAN! COMMIT SEPPUKU NOWWWW!" The lone Ninja, bound by honor, shoved his knife into his heart. Rob slowly scanned the room again. He said nothing for five minute, when finally, he called roll, "Nenerick Ginja?" A voice called out from what *appeared* to be the direction of the Third chair in the first row...but there COULDN'T be anything in the Third chair of the first row, it was physically impossible, NOTHING was there...exactly as it should be. Rob smiled, a group of the smart ones for once.
You NEVER hear Ninja
 Smoke Screen: Superior
Sensei Ninjitsu Master Rob looked at the cluster of Students that was not a Cluster of visible students, an smiled. "Ahh good, you are all nearly adept at the art of stealth." There was silence in the cluster. "HOWEVER, you have truly LEARNED NOTHING...until you can defeat the greatest enemy a Ninja has to success and stealth. Can anyone tell me what this would be?" Silence, a voice called from nowhere, "Dogs?" Sensei Ninjitsu Master Rob shook his head, "No, I shall answer for you. Your bladder." A clamor of voices came up... "Yes, your bladder. There have been many successful ninja who have fallen to the enemy for the simple fact that they could not keep from whining as their bladder gave them severe discomfort. Let it be said: You must fear and respect your bladder." A hand appeared from the emptiness. "Honorable Sensei, while we are on the topic, may I go to the little ninja's room?" The Sensei nodded, "Past the crocodile pit, three doors over after you enter the laser filled room, next to the spike pit, remember that the door is booby trapped.
Extremely intelligent
 Commander: Supreme
"You are the Ninja of tomorrow...you have passed all the tests...each of you is a master of Kenpo / Ninja Ken (Swordsmanship), Shurikenjutsu (Blade Throwing), Shinobi Iri (Infiltration), Intonjutsu (laying low), Makudonarudo (Fast Food), Bo Ryaku (Strategies), Matakishi Nishimura (Litigation), Kiyoshi Kumagai (Cannon Fodder Assault), dozens of other abilities that I will not go into for obvious reasons, and of course, LotFU. (If you have to ask, YOU WILL DIE!!!) Now thank god Ninja Class of 2002 cause hell is OVER!!!" Cried out Sensei Ninjitsu Master Rob. Out of two thousand students assembled, about 20 threw their hats up in the air and cried with celebration... "ALL OF THOSE WHO SPOKE HAVE DISHONORED YOU FAMILY NAMES! COMMIT SEPPUKKU NOWWWWW!" He heard a set of stabbing noises in the empty rows of seats, and continued, "And everyone else, you did NOTHING to avert this tragedy...COMMIT SEPPUKKU NOOOOOOWWWWWOOOWW!" In seconds, the entire auditorium was filled with bleeding ninja graduate carcasses. Rob shook his head...it was always the quiet ones...heh...he looked at his class list and looked at the neatly piled bodies...and then called out aloud, "And for all the Ninja smart enough to remember that because you had just graduated you would not be dishonored for celebrating, and that you had all been given permission to party your ass off afterwards, you may begin the revelries." Thirty seconds later, the 300 surviving ninja of the class of 2002 were in the LotFU Dojo/Bar and Grill emptying the liquor supplies. About 299 returned, the lone other ninja was lured into the path of the Dark Side(TM)...THE WHITE NINJA HAD RETURNED ONCE MORE! Whatever the hell that meant, you'd need to ask Rob about.
...SECURITY
Commander: Supreme
- Area Affect
- Target Seeker
- Multi-Attacks
On Khazan, a car is stolen at an average of once every 3 seconds, causing pain and suffering for victims. What can YOU do to protect your car? An expensive car alarm won't help, and while the Club can protect your car, what of valuables within the car? However, A Big Black-Clad Ninja Squad of Death can. Simply place the Big Black-Clad Ninja Squad of Death in your car, and give them a secret Ninja handshake before leaving. Then, if anything (Note in .5 sized Text: Anything includes small children, animals, other cars, military personnel, The White Ninja, and most Meta-humans...) comes within 5 meters of your car, one of the Ninja will exit your car, stand in front of it, and say "(Dubbed) Get Away From Car Bad Person." If the person persists, the other Ninja will exit the car, and proceed to beat the living crap out of the offending person. To Deactivate the Big Black-Clad Ninja Squad of Death, simply bow before your car, and say the special secret code to deactivate the Ninja Strike mode. (Note in .5 Size Text: FUBAR Devices not responsible for mistakes made on disarming attempt...all loss of life is considered the responsibility of the consumer) So quit worrying about your car, and turn this: (Image of Police Sirens) into This: (Image of Big Black-Clad Ninja Saying: "(Dubbed) Get away from car bad person." -TV ad for "Big Black-Clad Ninja Squad of Death" security device, brought to you by FUBAR Devices. If it isn't FUBAR, it works!
Ninja Bargain Bin
 Self Duplication: Ultimate
So the question is, with all these professionals that commit seppuku all the time, and die in training accidents, where DOES the Clan of a Thousand IOUs get all these thousands of cannon fodder ninja when the professionals fail? Well...lets just say that due some improvements in genetic engineering, dead ninja carcasses just don't have to be dead ninja carcasses...What do you mean?!? I'm not saying they are brought back as incompetent Ninja Clones, I'M SAYING THAT THEY MAKE GOOD FOOT RESTS!...oh...you are from the KPD...something about misuse of corpses...okay sir, so it IS cloning. OH, you thought I really did use them as foot rests, I assure you, TOP SECRET CLONING IS GOING ON BACK THERE...okay, so it is a footrest...(Footrest jumps up and slices the KPD officers head off.) [Dear god, we really do have way too many ninja and not enough movies to kill them in...]
Crotchety Old Ninja sez:
 Running: Standard
Tales of a Crotchety Old Vet Ninja: The Choice methods of travel on the GOOD OLD DAYS, as ah said before, were Running, Ninja Magic, or Horseback. *Cough, Cough* (Cars WERE NOT an option you baka wippersnappers, any ninja who came to work in a car WAS MOCKED!) Due to the lack of knowledge about Ninja Magic, and the lack of available horses, people rarely choose those options. However, those who choose running had a *Hack, Cough* far greater task. Any workplace for the Clan of a Thousand IOUs was ALWAYS AT LEAST FIFF-TEEN MILES AWAY FROM THE LOCATION OF THE NINJA WHO WERE PART OF IT!!! AND IF THEY WEREN'T, THE CLAN OUTPOST MOVED!!! And so, the Ninja of MY day were forced to scurry their little asses as far as FIFF-TEEEN MILES uphill, both ways, in the snow, with the sun beating down over their backs, rain pouring over them, IN BOXERS! You youngsters don't know the MEANING of the word "Hard Days Work", and if any'o'youse says that's THREE words I KILL YA WITH MY L337 CAINING SKILLZ!...*Crotchety Old Vet Ninja dies*
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Hall Of Fame!
Survival - 8 Wins!
Brutal - 2 Fatalities
