I win again, just like always!
Empathy: ultimate (rank 4)
You see, I had surreptitiously summoned said eldritch horror to witness the consummation between mortal man and the (somewhat) divine. Had the ritual completed, I would have been rewarded for corrupting a divinity and putting on a show, but then Scarlett and Violet would have killed me. So I did the only sensible thing and let them deal with the fallout.
This was pretty much just an overly elaborate plan to break up with Scarlett though. You see, I know my ex. She has a sister-complex with Amber. Amber screwed her over so much that now she blames everything on Amber. By letting myself get caught cheating on her with her sister, I actually directed all the fault from me to Amber.
Hell, I'm on my way to the movies with her right now. Just as friends though. It's a Midnight Muppets Marathon at the local cinema. If that ain't coming out on top, I don't know what is.
Detective: ultimate (rank 4)
"Oh Mack, you do know me well." I said, while caressing the lens in my hand. I could feel it's "authenticity". Not that I couldn't tell through the usual methods, but some things just have the right "feel" to them. And this was one of them.
The lens of camera 3B-660plx. One of the cameras used to film Jason and the Argonauts. More specifically, the camera used for the "stop-motion" segments. Ray Harryhausen, bless his departed soul, was a man who liked to work alone. And for good reason. For one thing, not all the monsters he used were "fake".
The Cyclops for instance was totally real. While the Dragon was simply demon possessed. You want to know why those early stop-motion sequences were so clippy and choppy? It's not because of the limits of Harryhausen's techniques at the time. It's because the cameras couldn't capture the unnatural existence before them. It resulted in jerky movements.
And this, this was the lens from said camera 3B-660plx. If you know how to look, you can see the soulless souls imprinted within it. Fragmented echos of what shouldn't be, of what COULDN'T be, not trapped inside, but incapable of being forgotten.
I paid Mack for the other crap I got from him. Those would fetch me a nice profit. But this, this was going into my personal collection.
Cars That Eat People
Sentient Vehicle: ultimate (rank 4)
You know I love a classic, even if it's a trite piece of trash, I love 'em. Take my '58 Plymouth Fury and '53 Buick Roadmaster for instance. Both lovingly restored, painted to perfectly match their movie counterparts and possessed by the exact same kind of malign forces as portrayed in their respective movies. That took a bit of finagling for the Buick, but it was worth it. Not that either movie was a trite piece of trash per se, but really, who drives a Buick nowadays? Dead people, that's who. Not that there's any evidence to that effect, I assure you.
Honestly though, I just own them because I love the classics, and by classics I mean the movies. I'm not into the new CGI stuff, it's all too "realistic" to be real. You want to know when what you're seeing up there is the real deal? If it looks fake, it might very well be real. Take Cabin in the Woods, yeah, it's all fake. But the Merman was real. Don't believe me? Ask yourself, where's the REAL Bradley Whitford these days?
And then ask yourself this: Who is Kurio Kaufmann? I mean really? What do you know about him outside of what he wants you to know? And what's that strange and interesting plant he's got over the-