THUG™ Life


Gender: Male

Kit: Techno

Location: Pop Culture Channel, Friday nights, 9pm


Alignment: Hero

Team: Solo Hero


Strength: superior (rank 2)

Agility: standard (rank 1)

Mind: standard (rank 1)

Body: standard (rank 1)

Spirit: (rank )

Charisma: (rank )


Fame Points: 0

Personal Wins: 8

Personal Losses: 11

Team Wins: 0

Team Losses: 0

Tourney Wins: 0

Tourney Losses: 0


Status: Active

Tristan 2010

[Theme Music begins]

I'm just one man

Doing all I can

I've never looked for a fight

But I've gotta be the hero tonight

I'm not trying to change the world

I'm just fighting to save my girl

I'm a son of a trucker

And I'm a bad motha...

[Theme music cuts off]

Pop Culture Channel inc. signed Joey "Thug Number One" Heath to a thirteen episode contract for a reality show. While some people thought the concept was a bad mashup of "Jersey Shore" meets "Dog the Bounty Hunter", it got rave reviews and killer ratings as Joey won the hearts of TV viewers worldwide.


Joey: "You know, Andy and I met in the service. Couple of young kids who joined the marines in '90, just in time to get Uncle Sam's first fun in the sun tour of the Middle East. The two of us were driving a Humvee doing a routine patrol when we ran into a couple hundred Republican Guard troops doing their own routine patrol. I don't know how the [bleep] we survived that, but we ended up surrounded, Andy and I, back to back, emptying mag after mag in our M-16s. When the smoke cleared, somehow we were the last two standing. Bleeding, yes, we probably each caught a half dozen rounds from their AK's, but somehow, we survived. Got us each a medal, a promotion, and a three week trip back to Walter Reed so they could put us back together."

Sally: "The first time I met Joey, he was a celebrity judge at the Miss Virginia Beauty Pageant. I have to admit, I thought he looked hot in that tuxedo. Didn't see him for four years after that - I was in college, he was finishing his time with the Marines. Ran into him again - he was on leave at Virginia Beach, and goddamn, he was even hotter without his shirt."

Joey: "She thinks I'm hot barechested? You should see her in a bikini."

CUT TO: POOL SIDE. JOEY in trunks. SALLY in swimsuit.


Joey: "See, I told you."



     Martial Arts: standard (rank 1)


Joey: "So, I've been out of the Corps since '00, when that whole thing first went down with me and Andy having to rescue our girls. The brass told us to let the police handle it. We took care of it ourselves, and while privately we got a lot of 'attaboys', publicly, the Corps figured it was best to part ways with us. So, since then I've had to find work.

"I've had a part time job at the Metro Club since it opened a few years ago. I'm the bouncer, and it's amazing how many time I've got to deal with aggressive paparazzi or super-drunk VIPs."

CUT TO: THE METRO CLUB, EXTERIOR. Joey is in a tight black t-shirt labeled "Security", and is trying to keep a couple cameramen on the far side of the velvet rope as the starlet of the week comes out, apparently having learned nothing from rehab. PAN to a pro football player in the club shoving a rap star to the ground, and the rap star throwing a bling-covered punch.

Joey: "Really, guys?"

As he gets into the middle of the fracas, which is beginning to involve their respective entourages, Joey just grabs the two of them and throws them out the front door. "Stupid A-listers. Fights go down in the parking lot. I mean, didn't they learn anything on their way to the top?"


Special Police Contract (part 1)

     Eldritch Energy: standard (rank 1)

  • Ranged Attack
  • Target Seeker


Joey: "You know, it's not about the money. But a guy's got to have a job, or two. Something to get you up in the morning."

RED PHONE rings. Camera goes to side-by-side between him and the Chief of Police. Joey's voiceover continues as we watch the two of them talk.

"So, while I make a living working three nights a week at the Metro, I'm also helping fulfill my civic duty by helping out the city PD when they need an extra body."

POLICE CHIEF on confession-cam: "Mr. Heath is so modest. We'd offer him a badge and a job - heck, we'd offer him a position as captain but I think he's allergic to paperwork."


JOEY on CONFESSION CAM: "The weapon I use is something I picked up on my way to rescue Sally. Advanced energy weapon. Packs the punch of a shotgun, has the carry ability of a pistol, and the accuracy of a, well if not a sniper rifle, at least a decent assault rifle. Today, I used it for the breach..."

JOEY with a megaphone outside a house, with ten squad cars and two tactical vans with lights flashing behind him. "Last chance to come out."

Voice from inside, "What, are you on the SWAT team?"

JOEY: "I *am* the SWAT team."


Special Police Contract (part 2)

     Armor: standard (rank 1)


Of course, the Pop Culture Channel's camera crew isn't going to be let in until the Chief gives the say so. (Insurance reasons, of course.) So we watch the outside of the house, we hear gunshots and the blasts of Joey's energy weapon for a few seconds, till we hear Joey and the rest of the team yelling "Clear!"

JOEY exiting the building, dragging two roughed up suspects out of the building. "Sons of bitches shot me."

COPS take the suspects away while JOEY removes his vest and helmet, and then peels off his shirt. The world famous six-pack has a nasty black and blue mark from where his bulletproof vest was shot at.

CHIEF: "See, aren't you glad I make you wear that stuff. You ain't as young and tough as you used to be."

JOEY: "Bullshit. I'm *tougher* than I used to be."


A sixth sense

     Environmental Awareness: standard (rank 1)


DISTANT SHOT of JOEY walking into the woods outside of town.

JOEY vo: "Sometimes, I just need to get out into nature. I take some time and remind myself how to listen, how to observe, how to aware."

MONTAGE of shots with JOEY carrying his own camera. "You know, I used to do this growing up a lot. I could make a hell of a game hunter if I ever wanted to."

FADE TO OCEANSIDE MALL. JOEY VO: "It's funny. The time in nature makes me more observant, even in urban chaos. Like that girl, there. She's getting herself a five finger discount in three different record stores. Surprising, cause I thought she'd be torrenting instead of doing theft the old fashioned way. Or that guy there. Walked past the VS store five times. Can't bring himself to stop inside. I'd say it's a gift for his wife, but I'd guess it's a gift for his girlfriend. The girlfriend his wife doesn't know about.

"It's seeing patterns, things out of place. I don't know if I'm the best at it, but I'm just good enough at it that I didn't get my ass killed."


How to score a BQG

     Empathy: standard (rank 1)


Sally (Beauty Queen Girlfriend) on CONFESSION CAM: "You know, we've been together for years. Don't get me wrong, the eye-candy factor didn't hurt anything, and the fact that he risked his life to save me means the world to me, but he... he just manages to be everything a girl wants all at the same time, tender yet tough, dashing yet dangerous, a bad boy and a good man."

SCENE of Joey and Sally on the back porch of their house. JOEY wearing jeans and a "Kiss the Cook" apron as he flips burgers. SALLY sitting with a tall drink enjoying the sunset.

JOEY vo: "You know, I guess I have three loves in my life. Love my country, love kicking ass, and...."

CUT to JOEY and SALLY giving each other a kiss as we fade to credits.

POP CULTURE ANNOUNCER: "Next week... we follow Joey to the BIG SHINY ROCKS store, where maybe, just maybe he finds the BIG SHINY ROCK to put on Sally's hand."