The CBUB Character Database

ISSUE #33

Mach 5 vs. Batmobile

ISSUE #65

Ken & Ryu vs. Scorpion & Sub-Zero

ISSUE #168

Shazam vs. Black Bolt

ISSUE #53

South Park vs. Peanuts

ISSUE #126

Q vs. Mr. Mxyzptkl

ISSUE #117

Kraven vs. Pokemon Island

ISSUE #149

Dr. Doom vs. Magneto

ISSUE #61

Robotech Defense Force vs. The Decepticons

ISSUE #138

Wonder Woman vs. She-Hulk

ISSUE #74

The Joker vs. The Green Goblin

ISSUE #107

Tom and Sylvester vs. Jerry and Tweety

ISSUE #115

Robin v. Robin v. Robin v. Robin

ISSUE #127

Martial Mayhem - Round One!

ISSUE #99

Batman vs. Captain America

ISSUE #161

G.I. Joe vs. S.H.I.E.L.D

ISSUE #83

Galactus vs. Unicron

ISSUE #49

Bugs Bunny vs. Mickey Mouse

ISSUE #125

Great Pumpkin vs. Jack Skellington

ISSUE #106

Nightwing vs. Daredevil

ISSUE #95

Green Arrow vs. Hawkeye

ISSUE #145

Planet of the Apes vs. Star Trek Away Team

ISSUE #131

Kingpin vs. Penguin vs. Jabba the Hutt

ISSUE #34

Justice League vs. X-Men

ISSUE #144

Kerrigan vs. Diablo

ISSUE #73

Men in Black vs. Marvin the Martian

ISSUE #39

Voltron vs. Power Ranger's Zord

ISSUE #50

Taco Bell Chihuahua vs. Ren Hoek

ISSUE #82

Gambit vs. Catwoman vs. Black Cat

ISSUE #51

Lex Luthor vs. Dr. Doom

ISSUE #169

Galactus vs. Galactus' Weight in Krypto the Super Dogs

ISSUE #13

Wolverine vs. Predator

ISSUE #30

Amityville House vs. Overlook Hotel

ISSUE #141

Braveheart vs. Maximus

ISSUE #62

Thundarr vs. Conan vs. Beastmaster

ISSUE #28

Boba Fett vs. Batman

ISSUE #157

Iceman vs. The Human Torch

ISSUE #75

Blade vs. Buffy vs. Vampire Hunter D

ISSUE #177

Master Yoda vs. Professor Xavier

ISSUE #19

Sailor Moon vs. Ranma 1/2

ISSUE #35

Chun-Li vs. Orchid vs. Sonya Blade

DARK STARS

Death Star Borg Cube
The Death Star vs. Borg Cube


THE SCENARIO

A strange anomaly in the space, time continuum sucks a Borg Cube into it's wake and places it neatly right in front of the Death Star.

As the Imperial Admiral considers the sudden appearance, a transmission comes loudly across their communication frequencies...

"We are Borg... you will be assimilated."

Join us now in a battle we had to call...

The Sky is Falling...

This fight was suggested by
Dark Queen, �indel77 and The Almighty Council.

THE SPORTS BOX

PAT:  LIVE! From some dark patch of space between Tatooine and Yavin we have an amazing match for you today. Hello and welcome, I'm Pat Summers.

JAY:  And I'm Jay Peoples. A spatial rift in the fabric of reality has deposited a Borg Cube right smack dab in front of a rather surprised Death Star...

PAT:   ...A situation to which the Borg seem to have adapted very easily. Within moments of arriving they had already broadcast the standard Borg hail...

JAY:  .... To which Grand Moff Tarkin immediately replied with a call to battle stations, a launch of TIE Fighters and a command for "Primary Ignition" on the Big Gun.

PAT:   The situation is tense. Now, while we have a moment, lets see what the viewers at home had to say.

YOUR OPINIONS

Favorite letter of the Week

Flynn writes:

Here is what clearly will happen: The Borg beam over some scouts to investigate. Because the Death Star is so huge, let's say it is only a few dozen scout Borg. Stormtroopers try to repulse them, and 2 Borg are killed before they adapt and become quite invulnerable. The Death Star predictably uses the superlaser to destroy the Borg Cube, which doesn't have a chance to adapt because it is all over in one shot. Only a few components of the cube survive re-entry as they scatter and fall on the nearby forest moon; all the Borg humanoids are dead. All? Not quite: There are still a few dozen (-2) Borg on the Death Star. Those few dozen quickly begin Assimilating the Death Star and it's crew. Because the Death Star is so huge, it takes a LONG time, but the Imperials are not known for the innovative tactics required to stop the onslaught. The battle lasts for months, but it is unstoppable. The Borg grows exponentially, despite reinforcements.

The story is not over yet, though. Fearing that the Borg will attack the galaxy, the Imperial Fleet fights the Death Star Borg Sphere but are repulsed by the immense firepower of the terrible weapon. During the epic battle, the once-perfect sphere takes heavy damage, giving it an "Unfinished" look. The Borg scavenge components that fell to the forest moon and the Borg are even able to rebuild their adapting shield, though the shield generator must stay on the moon.

The Emperor, cunning as ever, purposely leaks the location of the Death Star to Bothan spies. Then, in order to ensure that the attack succeeds, a crack legion of the Emperor's best troops attacks the shield generator on the Endor moon. The Rebel Fleet hyperspaces in and is joined by the Imperial Fleet that was hiding behind Endor. While brave Imperial Stormtroopers battle the Borgized furry natives, they are eventually able to sabotage the shield generator. Luke and Darth Vader face the Borg Queen on the Death Star. During the fight, Darth Vader is tempted by the Borg Queen's offer to remove his cybernetics and replace them with living skin. Darth Vader pretends to join her cause, but shows his true colors as he ruptures a tank of flesh-eating gas that consumes himself and the Borg Queen. Meanwhile, Luke leaps to safety. Rebel fighters, closely supported by TIE fighters penetrate the superstructure of the Death Sphere and destroy the main reactor. Luke carries the mechanical parts that are left of Vader's body to a shuttle and escapes. Later he burns the remains as others celebrate on Endor. And there you have it folks. Sheesh, after that story, you don't even need a Pat & Jay wrap up.


The Genius Formerly (and Still) Known as Eddie writes:

This took a LOT of thought, but the way I see it is that the Death Star has, in fact, destroyed an entire planet with one shot from its Destructo-Cannon-of-Death(tm).

A Borg cube is smaller than a planet. So I figure the Death Star has ONE CHANCE ONLY to blast the cube into nothingness, or else the rest of the universe is in deep, deep dookie.

Gotta give Darth Vader and Gang(tm) at least one good shot, and unless his Stormtroopers want to end up either assimilated or next on Vader's choke list, this is one shot they WILL manage to nail.

OTOH, just think: an assimilated Death Star...I doubt even Microsoft could survive that.


Chuckg writes:

BORG COLLECTIVE -- Transporters. Assimilation. Complete obliviousness to even the most obvious dangers... such as a big honking gun aimed right at their heads. Given time, their "creeping doom" approach can bring down a planet. *Given time*.

DEATH STAR -- Achilles heel the size of a womp-rat... but *only* if you have the design specs, and the Borg don't. (BTW, is this the Death Star I or the Death Star II?) Planet-destroying gun. Willingness to kill first and just forget about asking questions. Darth Vader and the Dark Side of the Force. (Unless, of course, you're using the Death Star II... in which case the Borg don't get Darth Vader, they get Emperor Palpatine. Yeah, right, assimilate THAT. I don't THINK so...)

So here's how it goes. Borg Cube shows up. Darth Vader's Jedi precognition lets him know exactly what hideous brain-sucking assimilation awaits them all if they don't kill that damn cube *right fragging now*. No waiting around to find out the hard way, just comin' straight out with the big guns blazing.

So while the Borg are getting ready to beam over their first few scouts, the Death Star has already "commenced primary ignition" and is standing by to rock and roll with The Big Gun.

ZOT! Sic transit Borg.


The Mighty Thor writes:

The very second the Borg cube appears in front of the death star, Lord Darth Vader would sense a massive disturbance in the force due to the gigantic collective mind, He would quickly realizes what the Borg planned to do and destroy the cube, which could NOT adapt. If that thing can't stand up to a few photon torpedoes, as shown in "First Contact" It will NEVER stand up to a planet-destroying superlaser And any Borg that manage to teleport over to the Death Star? Consider this-The Borg ignore you if your not a threat. Therefore The Borg will ignore The Stormtroopers who have been ordered by Vader not to fire since they couldn't hit water if they fell out of a boat anyway. That leaves the slow moving Borg to do battle with the extremely agile, force using, lightsaber swinging Darth Vader, who will quickly dispatch them like an intergalactic whack-a-mole game.


AIM1227 writes:

Gotta go with the original, the one the only Death Star (tm). The Borgs will charge up their weapons to assimilate the Death Star and. . . nothing will happen! Just as the Ion Cannon blast is closing on them the Bong's last sight will be a mysterious message flashed across all screens and channels. It reads. . .

"Do you remember who does your special effects?" Signed, Industrial Light and Magic A subsidiary of Lucas Film Inc.

Cut to explosion, followed by shots of the Imperial Death Star crew celebrating their second victory ever. Sad really . . .


Daki writes:

There is one major weakness the Borg would have if they attacked the Death Star... Darth Vader. Since the Borg share a common "hive" mind, Darth Vader could use his Sith Mind Control powers to "influence" their thinking. With a single thought, Vader could have all those Borg ripping each other to pieces. No contest here boys and girls. Trekkers should stay out of Star Wars space.


RobF writes:

Hey! I suggested this one too! Anyway, the Death Star wouldn't stand a chance. Sure, the Borg cube is smaller. And sure, the planet-crushing laser will probably destroy the cube. But by then, the Borg will have already beamed aboard the Death Star and started assimilating the Stormtroopers. And don't start none of that �(r)@P about the Force and the Emperor or Darth's lightsaber. They can adapt to electricity beams and lightsabres. The Force can't kill 200 all at once, and it can't confuse Borg sensors either. The Death Star will be destroyed, assimilated, and the Rebel Alliance will fall. The Borg might even learn how to use the Dark Side. "Resistance is futile. Soon you shall be assimilated by the power of the Dark Side."


Justicar writes:

Well let's hear for the geometric learning aids of the Cosmos, a big sphere and a big cube. Yay!

OK, now why did I vote for the big ball, because of Vader and the Force. When that big cube is dropped in the Lucas-verse that's a windfall of aggression for the Darkside. Vader will be so juiced on evil energy that the first few Borg scouts that pop over could be killed by Vader's aura alone. Remember no "technological terror" is a match for "the power of the Force".

The B.C. will be no match for the D.S. and the Dark Force combined. The Borg live in the rather religiously subdued Trek Universe. They can't handle this supreme powerscale of mysticism. Therefore, they will not be able to gather any info on the D.S. because Vader alone with the unnecessary help of the Imperial Troopers can fend off the initial scouts.

Also, the Borg have no fighter-class combat ships, so exploiting the exhaust port is useless. The Emperor or Vader will quickly realize what The Borg are up to (thanks to darkside mind reading) the Death Star will blow that Cube apart before they could possibly recalibrate their shields to absorb the ungodly power that the D.S. possesses.


Actorman writes:

You gotta be kidden' me here! There is no way those scrawny little Star Trek spawn could take out the awesome power of the Death Star. The most the Borg will be able to beam on is 2 before the Empire fires up the Super Laser and blows the cube away like so many small planets. Those 2 remaining Borg would not be able to assimilate Stormtroopers anyway, due to that shiny white battle armor covering every inch of their bodies. It's the Empire all the way.


Mandalorian Warrior Ninja writes:

What? You have got to be kidding? OK, let's look at the facts...

Death Star : Planet-destroying super laser and a couple thousand TIE-Fighters

Borg Cube : Phaser-type lasers

If that alone isn't enough to convince, let's look at some of the players...

Darth Vader : Dark Lord of the Sith and really handy with a Lightsaber. I'd like to see the Borg try to adapt to a Lightsaber. Throw in his Force abilities and Vader can handle a platoon of Borg at a time without breaking a sweat.

Ion weapons : A constantly looked over weapon used in Star Wars. This weapon disables electronic components. The Borg may originally have been organic, but all those cute little gizmos can't stand up to this type of weapon.

Now if the Emperor is on board too... well, there will be an abundance of Borg spare parts in that area.


Moogle writes:

Although the Borg cube is pretty hardy (or so I understand, not being particularly au fait with Star Trek), The Death Star packs a big ole' punch.

Then again, the power to destroy a floating metallic Space Dice is insignificant compared to the power of the Force.


Hibiki Ryouga writes:

Let's put this in simple terms... The Federation was able to defeat the Borg (See "The Best of Both Worlds" and "Star Trek: First Contact"), yet the Federation was unable to defeat the Death Star (See WWWF Match "Death Star vs. USS Enterprise"), therefore it seems obvious that the Death Star would defeat the Borg based only on this... but there's more!

The Death Star's only weakness is the thermal exhaust port located in the equatorial trench. How did the Rebellion know of this weakness? They had to steal the blueprints and analyze them extensively. Do the Borg have any such luxury? No... They, like the Empire, are overconfident in their technology, so they won't look for weaknesses. Besides, the exhaust port is ray shielded, so it would take missiles. When have the Borg ever used missiles? Even if the Borg could adapt to Death Star turbolaser shots, TIE Fighter lasers, and TIE Bomber bombs, the Superlaser only needs one shot to do its business. The only reason Grand Moff Tarkin didn't send out all his fighters and bring all defensive weapons to bear was because he thought little star fighters wouldn't be a threat. A big cube declaring its intention to assimilate is a pretty definite threat, and the Empire wouldn't take chances. And even if all else fails, the Death Star has none other than Darth Vader, and I'm fairly sure the Borg can't adapt to being choked by the force


Wolf Leader writes:

The Death Star will obviously win. First of all, this is the completed Death Star. The rebels who assaulted it were all killed except for Wedge Antilles (who left due to damage), Han Solo and Chewie (who came out of nowhere and blindsided the TIEs) and, of course, Luke Skywalker (he's got the Force, 'nuff said).

Only Luke is capable of taking down the Death Star (with the Force) and he wouldn't have lived if Han hadn't saved his Jedi butt!

Now the Borg don't have the Force and the Death Star has Darth Vader, simple as that. The Borg, without small fighters, can't even attack the Death Star. They are blown away the moment they appear because their arrival makes Vader spill his coffee in surprise on his new cloak. OR... The Borg try to beam aboard and Vader kills off whoever tries to get him while firing up the superlaser himself. Or, more simply. Borg are robots. Droids are robots. Droids can be stopped by restraining bolts. The Empire slaps 'em on the Borg and they become helpless servants of the Emperor!

That about covers all the bases. The Death Star in ten minutes, tops! 'Nuff Said!!!


Time-Lost Girl writes:

There's no contest. If any Dark Jedi's are around the Borg would wind up their willing slaves. After all, the Borg have no real identity of their own, and we all know that the "weak-willed are easily turned..."


Captain Tautimez writes:

I am a big fan of Star Wars, but I have to say that the Borg should win this one, regardless of the votes.

  1. The Borg are the most advanced species in the galaxy. They use disrupters and phasers, where the Empire uses lasers. Tie fighters will be no match.
  2. The Borg are so advanced because they assimilate cultures. They can assimilate any species, including non-humanoid. With all the technology from thousands of cultures, one is bound to be able to defeat the Death Star.
  3. Death Star I was destroyed by two proton torpedoes through an exhaust conduit. It was a poor design flaw that the rebels exposed. The Borg can easily scan the ship and find that, not they they'd be likely to want to destroy the ship.
  4. The Death Star would only be able to get off one shot because of the Borgs ability to adapt. If they don't destroy the ship in the first shot, they're doomed.
  5. The Borg can travel much faster than the Empire. If a Borg cube is damaged, it could send a subspace transmission back to the collective, and using transwarp technology, another cube would arrive in minutes.
  6. The Empire is simply outgunned, and out of luck. The last transmission they will ever hear is "We are the Borg. We will assimilate you culture. You biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to that of our own. Lower you shields and prepared to be boarded. Resistance is futile."

Death Star, resistance is futile!


MydKnight writes:

If it were just a question of technology and firepower, I'd have to side with the Borg. However, If the Death Star is here, then Darth Vader and/or Emperor Palpatine must be on board. Could the Borg possibly adapt to the Dark Side of the Force unleashed? Doubtful. I say the Death Star will win, but ONLY through the direct intervention of one of the two Dark Jedi Masters.


Syd writes:

Once, while playing "Star Wars Rebellion", I was the Empire and had a Death Star. Though packed with Tie Fighters to defend it, my rebel opponent still somehow snuck his one X-Wing in and.. BLAMMO. Embarrassing.

But as to why I picked the Death Star to win is that, more than likely, they will get that first shot off with the main gun. The Borg do not have small fighter craft as far as I can tell (being only an occasional Trek watcher), So if DS gets that first shot in, that's all she wrote


Hackrat of 9 writes:

The Borg are fast, even faster than the force if possible. I mean doesn't anyone remember First Contact? The Enterprise shot 3 torpedoes at the Borg escape sphere and they beamed onboard taking half the ship! I mean so what if the death star shoots the cube? We've seen in tons of episodes how transporters beam people off ships that explode immediately! Anyone who's seen any star trek episode knows that transporter technology is the key and even with no ship, the Borg will only take over the death star from the inside and Borgify the entire place.

And who will stop them? Storm Troopers with no aim? Heck in a previous fight the man from Die Hard won over the death stars crew!!! (Editors Note: See John McClane vs. The Death Star). How can that happen hmm? If Bruce Willis can beat the death star then the Borg can too! I predict Darth Vader will become more machine than man after this battle.


Mordenflagg writes:

If John McClane could run around inside the DS and blast it into a netherworld far, far away, (Editors Note: See John McClane vs. The Death Star) then a couple Borg would be over there before the gun was able to power up and fire on the cube.

Sure, the Cube would get whacked, but with just one or two Borg on the Death Star, we'd probably see the first Borg Star flying around soon. Goodnight New Republic.

Victory: Borg.


�indel 77 writes:

First off, thank you for using my battle suggestion! Now, to me, this is a hard battle. The death star is larger with more fire power, but a Borg cube, (obviously) has the Borg. In my opinion the Borg are waaaaay tougher than the Imps. (Imperials) But, in my heart I'm a true Star Wars Junkie, and my vote had to go with the Death Star.


Autolycus 007 writes:

Tough call. A few factors push this towards the Borg, though.

A: If the Borg attack from behind, the ridiculous super Death Star gun cannot fire at it, thus giving victory to the Borg

B: If the Borg board the Death Star, the will use the assimilation tubules to turn the entire Stormtrooper population into drones

C: The Emperor or Lord Vader might be able to influence a few drones, but the rest would just kill him

Despite what others might think, the Borg don't play the "Beam over and assess technology" game anymore. After losing battles with both the Federation and that ridiculous species 8462 (or whatever species number they were), they now have only one goal: Assimilation.

Thus, this really must go to the Borg. Any ship to ship battle damage will be repaired until shields adapt. Quite frankly, the stellar converter (or whatever the super gun is) doesn't really mean anything. It has a somewhat limited range (in front of the Death Star).


Shylock writes:

Stupid bastards.... nothing beats the Borg (except Species 8472, but that's irrelevant). It takes everything that Starfleet has to slow them down, the Death Star was defeated by one shot from a tiny X-wing piloted by a pansy named Luke. The Borg drones adapt quickly, can assimilate their armies and technology, and they have transporter technology making them almost god-like. The Death Star, on the other hand, has a crew of space Nazis and are led by two decrepit old-farts, one which is already half Borg. What's worst of all is that they were beaten by the Rebels, the equivalent of an intergalactic street gang. I'll just end with one word: transwarp.


Backflip writes:

Here's how the battle would go. First, The Borg would send out their message. "We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to that of our own. Resistance is Futile." Next, the Imperial Admiral will sense the danger and power up the big gun.

When the Borg scan the Death Star and see that is powering up, several hundred Borg are immediately beamed aboard the Death Star. The Death Star fires at the Borg cube, which is unable to adapt to the fire in time and the Borg ship is crippled or destroyed entirely. However, The hundreds of Borg which were beamed aboard the sheildless Death Star begin to assimilate the crew. Though some Borg die in the initial resistance, the information about the Imperial laser weapons is sent throughout the collective, rendering them useless. The Borg split into groups, assimilating vital crew members and parts of the ship.

Lord Vader realizes the threat and heads to confront them. With lightsaber in hand Vader slashes and slaughters Borg... but their numbers are always growing. Suddenly a new surge of information fills the collective: A Borg has assimilated the main computer and they now all have knowledge of the Mandolians, a group who defeated the Jedi knights in the clone wars. They adapt to Vader's attacks. Vader is overwhelmed. R2 units, dog bots, interrogator droids, all things linked to the main computer have been turned against the Imperials. "Resistance is futile.... welcome to the collective, Vader of Borg."


Dark Queen writes:

Thank you for using my idea! I would also like to thank Sindel77 and the Almighty Council for also using this suggestion. Now for the stats. Okay, the Death Star has been blown up twice but that was because of the fighters blowing it up from the interior of the ship, not the exterior. The Borg have no fighters so that plan is out of commission. The Borg could transport through but the Death Star odes have shield so it would take awhile. The size of the death star ( size of a small moon) will help if the Borg try blasting it. Plus, we can't forget the super laser on the Death Star. One shot from that thing and there will be no more Borg. (If it can blow up a whole planet, I think it will be able to blow up a small insignificant ship)


the bob writes:

This match boils down this...when Stormtroopers get shot, they fall down. In fact they fall down a lot. They even fall down when attacked by teddy bears with silly hats. The Borg don't fall down when shot. I personally would rather have a shield that works, then some heavy armor that doesn't offer protection. 'nuff said.


Curadus of Borg writes:

Editors Note: Curadus graced us this week with a skit on the battle. It was a bit long for the page so

Click here to see it.


Mr. Silverback writes:

Let's forget any possibility of The Main Gun vs. The Cube, since the Cube appears to be far more maneuverable than the usual Death Star targets. This one will come down to a boarding action.

Fact: Every time Starfleet comes up against the Borg, they get a couple of good shots off before the Borg adapt to the phaser frequency. Constant changes to the phaser settings are necessary to avoid becoming Ensign Red Shirt (or Gold Shirt) of Borg.

Fact: Other than changing to stun, I have never seen anyone in the entire Star Wars universe change a blaster setting.

Result? The Borg are going to need a lot of can openers to get those Stormtroopers out of their armor and into their Borg suits, but they've got good replicators. The Borg eventually move their home world to Coruscant, which doesn't take a whole lot of remodeling.


Avatarus writes:

The Borg have no hope...as formidable as they are. Once the Death Star realizes the intent of the cube...it will charge the main guns and fire. Pow!! No more Cube...there's no way that the cube can shield itself against that much focused power. And in the event that the Borg start beaming over to the death star to start the assimilation process. Darth Vader comes off of the Executor and starts crushing them with his force powers and chopping them to giblets with his light saber. 'Nuff said...death star kicks...


Rallan writes:

Well, from my little commentary booth right up the back of the stadium, I see this as a win to the Death Star. Sure, any ole' fighter can fly up it's ass and blow the crap out of it, but the Borg don't know that. After all, even if they have assimilated some Star Wars junkies, they probably decided to purge the databanks on the grounds that those guys are even worse than Trekkies. So basically, the biggest glass jaw in history is safe for now. The Borg, fresh from their conflict with Captain Jean-Luc "I haven't aged a day since I was in Dune" Picard will assume that galaxy-spanning human civilizations always attempt to make peaceful contact first. So the actual fight will go something like this:


Borg communications guys: We have found a large vessel of human design. Let's stall them with diplomatic small-talk until we know enough to safely assimilate them
Borg command: Great idea. Open a hailing channel
Death Star comm guys: Lord Vader, there's a f*cking big spaceship out there, and it doesn't match any known Imperial designs. I suggest we blow the crap out of it and ask questions later.
Vader: Good idea, let's d it.
Death Star Comms: Wait a sec, we're receiving a transmission
Vader: Like I give a damn, Open Fire!

the Borg Cube, having not yet experienced a Death Star's bigass gun, cannot create an effective shield and is promptly wiped out. And even if it ain't wiped out, Vader and friends can gradually destroy the cube by lobbing Imperial Star Destroyers at it until they run out.


Cola writes:

This is a quite, quite simple one really. The death star. There are a number of reasons for this: The first being the fact the Death Star was made to take out large, oversized targets in one hit. It uses lasers, not some stupid particle weapon, which could easily wipe out a Borg ship's shielding and take it out in one hit. The Borg do not use fighters, and hence, they do not have the ability to exploit the ONE weakness of the massive ship, as shown in the movies.

For that matter, ANY star wars equal group with tear up ANY star trek group. (Come on. Enterprise vs. Super Star Destroyer? One beam vs. about 60 guns? Or an X-Wing vs. a Star trek shuttle? You be the judge.)


carnibavore writes:

Editors Note: Well, we just couldn't let this fight go without printing at least one of the rabid dog, rage inspired letters that go with any fight.

Uh.....finally a good match! But wait, what's this?!? Look at the score, it's 374-279, for the Death Star! CRAP, I can't control myself...FUCK YOU BASTARDS FOR VOTING FOR THE DEATH STAR, YOU'RE A BUCH OF FAT LOOSER, MARK HAMMILL, LOVING HIPPIES. Borgs dominate everything. I will track down every single one of you slack jawed rubes and shove your still beating hearts up your ass, then eat your puny brains, and vomit on your bodies. So, for those of you who voted for the Death Star, go back to watching Star Wars for the millionth time and proceed onto slapping your meat when Leia's in the bathing suit 'cause I will have vengeance!! (if I have time, I mean, come on, I'm a busy man. Hopefully I'll run into you guys in the street, but beyond that..., oh well). That's about it.

THE BATTLE

JAY:   Okay we're back. Pat, the initial TIE fighter foray against the Cube seems to have gone rather poorly.

PAT:   Yeah, for the Empire. Didn't take those Borg shields too long to adapt to that laser fire.

JAY:   Pat, there was some early speculation that the Borg would have difficulty adapting to those blaster / laser type weapons, but in all the hundreds of cultures they have assimilated, I'm sure...

PAT:   Jay, the TIE Fighters are scrambling away from the Cube...

JAY:   ..The Death Star's planet buster is taking on that special green glow...

PAT:   Death Star fires!!

JAY:   Hits Away!! Borg Cube does not and cannot adapt to that kind of power. The Borg Cube is destroyed...

PAT:   Folks, this fight is over. Despite... Wait!!!

JAY:   Holy!! Moving like a comet out of the explosion and wreckage, a spherical Borg ship races towards the Death Star...

PAT:   Tarkin does not hesitate to give the order to destroy that craft.

JAY:   The Death Star fires again as the Borg vessel nears... Hits Away!

PAT:   The sphere shaped Borg ship is destroyed... Folks, I think the fight is over...

JAY:   No! Pat, the game is afoot! Several Borg have materialized... beamed on board the Death Star...

PAT:   Indeed, yes! They have appeared in the Detention blocks: the prisoner holding cells.

JAY:   Interesting choice. Maybe looking for some quick assimilation fodder? I'm sure they scanned the Death Star well enough to have approximated the computer core...

PAT:   ..Or maybe they didn't have the time to get an exact fix on it. Anyway, they're in the Detention area and ...

JAY:   ...and into a firefight! Black helmeted detention guards blast away at the invaders..

PAT:   ...Many Borg fall dead as more advance...

JAY:   The guards lay down a searing fire into the Borg lines...

PAT:   No good! They've adapted to it! And new Borgized former prisoners from the detention cells are swelling their ranks!

JAY:   Stormtroopers in white battle armor are on the scene now, trying to halt the Borg advance...

PAT:   It's no good Jay, they're adapting to all weapons, assimilating black helmeted guards and troopers alike as they begin converting the area.

JAY:   Pat, the Stormtroopers near the exit from the blocks suddenly stand crisp and move aside... Lord Vader has arrived.

PAT:   Lord Vader pauses, using the force to assess his opponents, the Borg.

JAY:   Vader moves now, whoosh of a black cape and purposeful tread of black boots... he draws near the Borg. They seem to ignore him... not sensing a threat...

PAT:   Vader halts... staring at the closest Borg. It turns towards him... they all turn towards him...

JAY:   Pat, amazing! All the Borg stop their tasks, all the way down the long hall of the prison block. Using his dark Jedi arts he has taken control of one mind... and taking control of one he has taken control of the collective.

PAT:   All the Borg move to either side of the corridor, allowing Vader to continue forward unhindered. But what's this? At the end of the hall...?

JAY:   Holy! The Borg Queen stands defiant... waiting. Lord Vader strides right up to her.

Borg Queen:  I sense power in you. You are not like the others. Join us and add your power and voice to the collective...

Lord Vader:  Your automatons do not interest me. They are weak and easily turned. They are nothing.

Borg Queen:  You will be assimilated!

PAT:  She lunges! She's gonna inject him...

Lord Vader:  I think not.

JAY:   Vader easily stops the Borg Queen. Vader waves a hand towards the side of the corridor, using the Force to blow out a grate covering a downward shaft....

PAT:   Using the Force he moves the Queen, down the corridor, forcing her unceremoniously down into the shaft. She falls!

THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

BORG CUBE: 344

DEATH STAR: 411

THE WRAP UP

PAT:   The Borg Queen is up to her thighs in water. Its a small sealed room she's in, piled high with trash and debris...

JAY:   The walls begin moving closer together... crushing and compacting the garbage!

PAT:   Lord Vader has ordered the garbage be taken out.

Pictures for this weeks big fight came from:

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:

Death Star (TM) is the property (c) of Lucas Films

Borg Cube (TM) is the property (c) of Paramount / VIACOM

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles