Contrary to popular belief, Columbus did not discover America. What actually happened was that the Native Americans discovered Columbus on their land!
"Pocallisto... I am glad I found you," cried John Smith running towards his Native squeeze. "I... whoa!" Suddenly he disappeared from sight, down a well concealed pit.
Slowly, Pocallisto approached the edge of the vast hole. "John Smith, our Gods have spoken. Your people are murderous and double-dealing. And, while it is true I enjoy these qualities in myself, I find them annoying in others.
"We have seen the future, John Smith, and discovered that your people will drink High-Balls and enjoy Golf, while mine will have pain and humiliation. Your people will live in the suburbs, while my people live in trailers. Your people shall breed like bunnies while mine dwindle and die.
"The Gods of my people have spoken and said do not trust the Anglo... and especially do not trust John Smith!"
"But honey, I thought we had something, special. Besides, you are but savage children running naked through the trees!"
"Only savages? Only savages, Mr. "Inquisition", Mr. "Salem Witch Trials"? Oh, Boys! Boys, Bring that box of scorpions over here will you, please."
Pocallisto looked down at the stunned John Smith a final time. "We are all savages, John Smith. Some of us are simply more honest about it. Luckily it was me here to greet your people instead of some wishy-washy Love-Lorn girl who would fall in love with you only to be abandoned and taken to England, there to die in one of your rat-infested disease-ridden cities. Goodbye Loser. Proceed, braves."
Pocallisto smiled. Soon the one she hated most, Xena: Warrior Apache, would also taste her vengeance.
Thanks to Pocallisto