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Alison Reilly
Played By: Soberguy

Alison Reilly by Soberguy

TEAM: Solo Hero

SECTOR: Uptown

KIT CLASS: Empathy


Hall Of Fame!

Survival - 8 wins!

Brutal - 3 fatalaties!

Fight Record
League Wins: 8
League Losses: 3
Out Of League Wins: 0
Out of League Losses: 0
Total Wins: 8
Total Losses: 3
Arelia Cross - Win 0-0
Robert's Rules of Order - Win 0-0
Gadama, Revenant - Win 0-0
E. Nomine - Win 0-0
Elwin D'Larthi - Loss 0-0
I Am The Ocean - Win 0-0
Buddy v2.0 - Win 0-0
Red & Rosario...In Love? - Loss 0-0
Glaucon - Loss 0-0
Khanna Al'Quatin - Win 12-6
Friendly Fire: F.H.Z. - Win 17-5

In retrospect I suppose I should have expected it. The luxuries of experience and perspective make it so staggeringly predictable now, but at the time how was I to know? Not that I was a complete ignoramus or anything, it's just that had I been able to see it coming, it by definition couldn't have happened. Perhaps I need to back up a bit and explain. Since an early age I had studied to become a disciple of reason. Philosophy, mathematics and science were the tools by which I determined my structure of the universe. All things were causally related, with one action inciting a reaction in another and then another. These formed interconnected webs of action and reaction which, if studied closely, could be predicted and analyzed like a complex formula. Things did not happen for a reason or in any larger moral context, events were simply the result of the limitless random interactions which came before it. Although two separate events might seem related somehow, like thinking of a long lost friend moments before they show up at your door, in fact they are nothing more than statistical anomalies -random, unguided and rare. Given my fervent beliefs, it at first seemed unfathomable that the Powers That Be chose me to be the Avatar of Irony. Then, I viewed irony as nothing more than an artificial structure imposed upon random events. Irony was a sham -smoke and mirrors meant to simulate order amongst the chaos. What I now understand, however, is that my ardent opposition to the notion of irony is precisely why I was chosen -for what could be more ironic than having an Avatar of Irony who didn't believe in it? The logic of it seems so simple now. How blind I was. In the time since, I have begrudgingly accepted my role and the principles upon which it was formed. I see now that the world is more than simply a cacophony of random interactions, but rather a symphony of delicious ironies and wry coincidences. My role is to simply guide these natural occurrences, like a conductor, to their triumphant crescendo.

 

Personality: What is an Avatar like? Well, just like anyone else for the most part. I'm really a very ordinary person. I work a menial job at the Khazanian Bureau of Statistics, live alone and keep pretty much to myself. Of course, being the focal point of all Irony does make one a tad paranoid. When I was first chosen by the Powers That Be, I analyzed and reanalyzed every decision, every action, looking for potential negative ironies. "If I open this tin of food to feed my cat, will it poison him instead"? "If I take the freeway to save time, will there be an accident which will in fact delay me further"? "If I go to this animal rights rally, will I be attacked and killed by stray dogs"? The possibilities were mind-numbing. In time, however, I learned that most ironies seemed to fall in my favour. I also learned to appreciate those that did not. So what if I didn't have enough money to fix my car, which then broke down in the middle of the road causing it to be hit by another car? And so what if the piece of paper I subsequently tore in half to write my insurance information on wound up being a lottery ticket whose numbers were called that very evening? I mean sure, I'm out $2,000,000, but you have to admit that that series of events was absolute perfection, from an ironic perspective.

 

Strength:

 

Weak BELOW normal human strength -
can bench press 50 pounds (maybe).
Agility:

 

Standard Normal human agility.
Body:

 

Standard Normal human endurance. Mind:

 

Supreme Brilliant to the point of supra-genius.
Can easily think many many moves ahead.

The Nature of Irony

  • Power: Lucky
  • Level:Ultimate
Despite what Alanis Morrisette might think "rain on your wedding day" is NOT ironic. Inconvenient, yes. Unfortunate, maybe. But ironic? Not even close. It's hard to blame her though. Irony, as I have learned, is a fickle idea to pin down. It encompasses a pretty broad subsection of interrelated events and is largely misunderstood by most people. Basically, an event is ironic if it presents an incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result - particularly when the result is the polar opposite of, or oddly related to, what was expected. Take for example the sad case of poor Mr. Opus. See Mr. Opus' mother had cut off his rather generous financial assistance and to rectify the problem he decided to have her killed. He loaded a shotgun that he knew his father liked to wave in his mother's face when they argued (usually left unloaded) hoping that he would accidentally take care of his problem for him. Weeks went by without an argument and the shotgun lay secretly loaded yet completely unused in their closet. Mr. Opus' scheme seemed a failure. In desperation, he wrote a suicide note, climbed to the roof of his family's apartment building and jumped. On the way down, however, he was unexpectedly killed mid-air by a shotgun blast - it seems his parents had started arguing that very night, and his father had accidentally fired the gun, missing his mother but sending buckshot out the window, killing Mr. Opus as he fell. As a final coup-de-grace, it seems that the landlord had put up safety netting to protect the workmen cleaning the windows that morning and Mr. Opus, had he not been shot, would have survived his fall. Now THAT is irony at it's best. No one saw that one coming, I can assure you. Can you see the beauty of it? It is the remarkably satisfying surprise of irony - the flawless and symmetrical logic of it all which has come to enthral me. As events around me are punctuated by more and more complex ironies, the breathtaking web they weave fill me with an indescribable fulfilment - and a burning desire for more.

Irony in Action

  • Power: Matter Animation
  • Level:Supreme
  • Area Effect This attack causes damage in a large area.
  • Ranged Attack Attack usable at a distance (only).
  • Multi Attack Attack can hit multiple times during one strike.
That irony surrounds me on all sides, permeating my life in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, is a simple fact which I have learned to live with and embrace. Others, however, are not quite so prepared. My unique gift has created problems for many of those around me, particularly those who wish me harm. My ex-husband, for example, left me for a younger woman, breaking my heart. In a delicious irony, however, it seems the woman was younger than she had let on and my husband was charged with sexual interference with a minor. By now, he knew of my powers over the ironic and blamed me for his predicament. Upon his release from jail, he had a plan to exact his revenge. He mailed me a powerful bomb in a plain package, hoping to kill me, but Irony had other ideas. It seems that he had not put enough postage on the package and it was marked "Return to Sender". In a final moment of stupidity, he failed to recognize the package and opened his own returned bomb - blowing himself to kingdom come. Irony protects me that way. Foes will try to shoot me, only to hit a bystander, who later invariably ends up being a relative or loved one. They will try to slice me in two with a sword only to miss, stumble and fall into an industrial machine which slices THEM in two. I have learned over the years to control and guide these forces, such that when I see the potential for irony in a given situation I can make it happen with a mere thought. I manipulate complicated scenarios like an artist painting a landscape - carefully controlling each minute brush stroke until at last, the entire picture springs to life.

Dramatic Irony

  • Power: Mind Control
  • Level:Standard
  • Area Effect This attack causes damage in a large area.
As I have said, irony cuts a wide swath across the range of events in ones lifetime. Beyond the more standard concepts of irony are more specific forms. Dramatic irony for example is a literary form in which the audience is aware of an ironic situation but the characters are not. This too has parallels in the real world which I can use. There are those who know of my special gifts and thus actively watch for and avoid potentially ironic situations, limiting my abilities. With the sweeping concept of dramatic irony however, I can wash such knowledge from their mind. I can make people "forget" that I control the forces of irony. The irony of the situations I place them in are unnaturally lost to them - blocked from their consciousness by my powers. It is only after the irony has seen itself to completion that the larger context is revealed to the victim - assuming they live that long. Though others around them (the audience as it were) can see the irony unfold, the victim remains patently oblivious, stumbling right into my traps like a rat to the cheese.

Socratic Irony

The great philosopher Socrates was a wise and thoughtful man, but most don't realize that he was also a sneaky little bugger. In order to fool an intellectual adversary into revealing his secrets or opinions, Socrates would feign ignorance and then express a desire to be taught by his nemesis, who would invariably be tricked into revealing far too much. The irony of gathering information by feigning ignorance was aptly dubbed Socratic Irony and has been used liberally ever since. For a more modern example, think of the TV detective "Columbo" and you're on the right track. At any rate, I too have learned to master this unique form of irony. The more one knows about their opponents, the greater their chances for success, and using Socratic Irony, I can fool people into telling me all that I wish to know. Every strength, every weakness, every tactic, every flaw - all readily admitted to me by my foes and their associates.

Chaos Theory

Most people don't view mathematics as beautiful. For most it is an abstract set of rules with little practical purpose foisted upon us since grade school. They view it as cold, sterile, rigid and utterly boring but nothing could be further from the truth. I have devoted my life to the study of mathematics and see beauty in every sinewy probability distribution, poetry in every algorithm. Mathematics are the tools by which we understand the universe. It guides who we are, what we are - even WHY we are. As I have mentioned, life is merely an infinitely complex series of probabilities and causality which at its roots can be reduced to simple formulae. The expanded consciousness granted to me by the Powers That Be has not only allowed me superhuman insight into the multifarious series of events which led up to an event, but also to trace it into the future. In an instant, the variables of a given situation are tabulated and the most probable outcome predicted - a mathematical precognition as it were. If I am to orchestrate ironic situations I need not only to control events leading up to a point in time, but also to see where they will lead afterward. Quite practical, really. Of course, finally being able to see the fundamental mathematics behind the natural flow of all existence and yet driven to interrupt and change that established order is a little, well, ironic in its own way. I suppose I should have expected that...