Man I made a lot of money before I got caught. I had enough stashed to make a rather extravagant purchase. I bought a tank. It's not as hard as you might think. I named it Vitamin T. Clever eh? I love my Vitamin T. It's given me a new lease on life. No more fireworks for me. Nope, no need when you've got a Huge-Ass-Wall-Blasting-Mark-Squishing-Vault-Trashing-God-On-Treads-Tank at your disposal. That's right people, Vitamin T is coming to town. And as of right now she's been given another full layer of armor so you can just put your pea-shooters away and leave the money on the table, bitch.
Daily Dose of Vitamin T
Projectile Attack: Ultimate
- Ranged Attack Only
- Area Affect
It's not enough to just have a huge ass tank you need to have something to shoot out the big ass gun that comes with it! Hehehe...this is so nice. Plasmatic drill bits rigged with heavy load mining charges. Oh how I love this tank. The plasmatic drill bits can tunnel into nearly any surface, and then the mining charges go off. This puppy can power through damn near anything. Hells yes, everybody needs their daily dose of Vitamin T.
DO NOT TOUCH THE TANK
Energy Sheath: Supreme
Did I mention that I love this tank? Did I also mention that no one, and I mean no one, is allowed to touch my Vitamin T? Well they aren't. Not only will they receive a firm ass whuppin' courtesy of yours truly but I've had a little tweak added to Vitamin T to keep the riffraff away. Ya see, Vitamin T can run an electrical charge through its hull. And let me tell you that it's one HELL of an electrical charge. You should see it when pigeons try to land on it. Heh, those flying rats go up like firecrackers.
Kick Ass Stereo
Mental Defense: Supreme
This was just for me. I had the most kick ass stereo system I could find installed in Vitamin T so I can listen to my music while I go about my business. It's just the usual stuff. You know, Kittie, Yellow Machine Gun, Mindless Self-Indulgence, Tool. All the good stuff basically. Oh, and this is a warning to all you brain freaks out there: with this stereo I can't hear even myself think, so what makes you think I'll be able to hear you?
Big Gun Fire Fast!
Super Speed: Standard
You know, If I had ONE complaint about Vitamin T it would be that it takes a while for it to fire and reload. So what do I do? Easy, I picked up that catalog again and used some of my new found fortune to buy me auto-loading system and a high intensity cannon barrel. Oh, and the problem with the barrel heating up too much has been solved. Just bought some aerogel and coated the inside of the barrel and firing mechanism with it and it runs as smooth as clockwork. I could fire this puppy full speed all day and the barrel would still be cool to the touch.
I'm getting better at this!
Practice makes perfect, that's what they say anyway. Let me tell you, using a tank is a lot different from using an assault rifle. The bullet speed, wind effects, moving shot drift, pretty much everything you could think of that would effect a shot is completely different when using a tank. It's taken me awhile to get my aim back. I'm still not as good with this tank as I am with the rifle, but I'm getting better.
Ya'll Better Recognize!
Iron Will: Superior
Money. Oh yeah. I'm rolling in it. I could stop now and live comfortably. But that's not me. There's more money out there to be had and by God I'm going to get it. Ain't no vault wall, no KPD mech, no crime syndicate gonna stop me from making that next score. I'm the best, and I intend to prove it with every round I fire from Vitamin T's barrel. Nothing's gonna stop me now. Nothing's even gonna slow me down. I AM all the way live. Captial U, capital N, capital S, capital U, capital B, capital T, capital L, capital E. What's that spell? That's right, the Unsubtle is in the house bitch. And ya'lls gonna have to show respect.