Valandar's Disguise

Hall Of Fame!

Survival - 8 Wins!

Brutal - 2 Fatalities


Alignment: Hero

Team: Solo Hero


Strength: Standard

Agility: Supreme

Mind: Superior

Body: Standard


Personal Wins: 8

Personal Losses: 2


Yeah, I know. I throw on a little age makeup, and a fake mustache, and a wig, and pretend to be a new fighter so I can get back in the FPL. Well, it worked, didn't it? And besides, they let Elwin do it with that whole Sailor Archer thingie. This time, however, I'm leaving the pistol at home, and have been practicing my swordsmanship for quite a while. I've even developed a chi blast, of sorts. So,... huh? Who am I? Oh, yeah. If you must know, I'm Valandar the Red of the Empty Tankard. I came here a couple of months ago, and fought under my own name for a while, even making the Elimination rounds. Unfortunately, I underestimated a stupid squirrel, and got beaten out. How'd I get here? Oh, yeah. I was a normal computer geek where I come from, and I thought this whole place was an online game. I got sucked through the cosmic toilet, so to speak, and flushed out onto Khazan. The toy sword and pistol I was carrying as part of a costume for a fantasy convention became real, and powered by my own life force, so I joined the FPL, and started fighting the good fight.

Can of Whoop Ass

     Can of Whoop Ass: Ultimate

  • Ranged Attack Only
  • Area Affect
  • Armor Piercing
  • Target Seeker
  • Ranged and Melee Attack
  • Weakness: Power in Item - Easy to Lose
  • Weakness: Limited Uses - One Use


What more can be said? This is a Full Can of 100% Pure Grade A Whoop Ass. While it can only be used once, not many beings can stand up to an Ass Whoopin' of this magnitude, and even if they do, its gonna soften'em up a fair bit, making them an easier target afterwards.


Master Training

     Master Training: Superior


Although I no longer use my Marine Corps training in the ring, I've been wielding a sword even longer than I've been typing on a computer. I have also recently begun to learn how to harness my Chi, and this manifests itself through my and my blade. Training is everything, people!


Medeival Re-enactment

     Sword Master: Supreme


I've been wielding a sword for well over a decade, nearly a decade and a half. In that time, I've learned a lot of the tricks a Master would need. I don't know if I can beat ol' Duke Sir John the Bearkiller in straight skill... but I am _darn_ good!


True Steel

     Sword: Supreme

  • Armor Piercing


When I got 'flushed' down the Cosmic Commode into Khazan, so to speak (no, Bogzilla had nothing to do with it), the toy sword I was carrying became a real, steel katana, which I named True Steel. It is a full part of me, and is augmented by the Chi that I can focus into it. It is also nearly indestructible, and if it is ever knocked out of my hands, I simply have to will it, and it returns to my grasp.


Ryu no Ken

     Eldrich Blast: Superior

  • Ranged Attack Only
  • Weakness: Limited Uses - Multi-Use


The Ryu no Ken, or Dragon of the Sword, is my personal Chi attack. Not as powerful or flashy as some of them out there, it still comes in handy in those opening moments of a fight, when I'm not close enough to take it directly to them. One slash of the sword as I focus, and a wave of pure chi cascades towards my foe. Doing this often can wear me out, however, and I definitely prefer getting in close to mix it up.