Hall Of Fame!

Survival - 10 Wins!

Brutal - 1 Fatalities

AFFILIATION

Alignment: Villain

Team: Freelance Villain

VITAL STATS

Strength: Standard

Agility: Standard

Mind: Superior

Body: Standard

RECORD

Personal Wins: 10

Personal Losses: 3

Phil

LotMUers out there. Let's get this straight. You say that you are mad. Insane. Loony. If you say that then you are not, YOU ARE JUST PLAYING AND YOU ARE WASTING YOUR DAMN TIME. You've done nothing and will do nothing because you are too caught up with yourselves. Me? I'm not crazy. I'm perfectly sane. 100% uncertifiable. Just like everyone else. But you see, I'm here to help. The whole thing, the whole idea that started all this has been lost. What the **** do gnomes have to do with anything? And bleach is for cleaning goddamnit, for Christ's sake stop embarrassing yourselves. All this crap, it means nothing. IT. MEANS. NOTHING. This however means everything. This bit of paper means more than all of you. The Campbell Act. The reason. The goal. Forgotten. Except by me. I grabbed the last known copy of it. This, this will be it all. Only one problem: before it can be used to it's fullest it needs to be passed as a law. One of us, ie, me, has to go on the campaign trail and become President of Khazan. Only then will the Campbell Act be able to be passed. And then...well, we'll be in charge then. How am I to become President when there aren't any elections scheduled for months? Easy. All I need is a plan. Simple.

My personality is my own business. What it has to do with you, I have no idea. Look, you don't need to know how I live my life all you need to know is who I am and what I am doing. That's enough.

The Votemobile

     Vehicle: Supreme

• Weakness: Power in Item - Hard to Lose

Fear it's power! Gasp at the oversize banner along the sides! Cower at it's mighty megaphone! The Votemobile is coming to a street near you and it is a thing to be feared! As I cruise the streets of Khazan at the wheel I can't help but feel the awe of the people as I glide past, the perfect sunshine blue paint (with rust details) glinting in the noon sun. Ah, Sundays are a good day.

The Campaign Badges

     Projectile Attack: Superior

• Ranged Attack Only
• Armor Piercing
• Multi-Attacks
• Weakness: Power in Item - Hard to Lose

Yes folks, line right up, get yer O-fish-ial Campaign badges right here, thank you sir here's yours and...what? Hey, that's insulting, take that back! Oh yeah? Well, you know there's a reason these badges are disc shaped? EAT THIS! *fwing! thud!* Yeah it hurts, have some more! *fwing fwing fwing!* Oh, poor baby. What, you guys want some too? *fwingfwingfwingfwingfwing!* Come on, all of you, all at once or one at a time, doesn't matter to me! *fwingfwing!*

Natural Talent

     Marksman: Standard

So I get people hassling me all the time. SO I have to throw my badges at them all the time. You know what this means? My aim keeps on getting better and better. Course, it was already good to begin with. Natural talent you see. Could hit a duck off a horse's ass. That doesn't sound that impressive, I know, but you try it. Those ducks be damn tricky to hit.

Leather Clothing

     Body Armor: Superior

• Reinforced Defenses
• Weakness: Power in Item - Hard to Lose

So I like to wear leather clothing, is that so weird? They wore it all the time in Mad Max. They could barely move in that film without the creek of leather echoing everywhere. If it's good enough for Max, it's good enough for me. It's not weird. If I went out and brought a ****ing mask with a zip where the mouth should be, that would be weird. No, I haven't got one. I haven't.

I will succeed.

     Iron Will: Supreme

I will succeed. I will not fail. These are the thoughts that keep me warm at night. I could lie there and think about everything that could go wrong, but that would be bad, very bad. Then I wouldn't win. But if I think this way then I will, I will succeed, I will not fail. No one will stop me when I battle, when red tape threatens me. It will not stop me. I will not fail, I will succeed.

A nice bottle of water

     Regeneration: Standard

• Weakness: Power in Item - Hard to Lose

Of course I like to be healthy. Healthy body, healthy mind and all. SO I keep on me at all time a nice bottle of water. You know you're supposed to drink 8 pints of water a day? A day? That's the minimum to keep your mind working at A1 efficiency. Seriously. SO I keep on me a nice bottle of water. Of course, it has a little extra in it. Something to help the ol' healing process. But the water is nice as well. Shame you don't have to drink 8 pints of beer a day...

A friend on the road

     Beast Master: Standard

• Weakness: Power in Item - Hard to Lose
• Weakness: Not usable in terrain - Jungle

It's a lonely life I lead, so I need a friend. A companion, if you will. Preferably pocket sized. One who could defend me as well would be good. Luckily, I found both in a little known creature I discovered on a small continent on Earth...

Kevin The Paraguayan Hamster

     Beast Master: Standard

• Target Seeker
• Weakness: Power in Item - Hard to Lose
• Weakness: Not usable in terrain - Jungle

A vicious breed, they eat their own mother at three weeks and can field strip a M16 by the time of their third birthday. Make no mistake, this is the Rambo of the Hamster world. And this one is mine. God bless his little eyes. Such a cute fella. Sure, the caked blood around his mouth is a little off putting but hey. He doesn't like the jungle though. Gets Nam flashbacks.

A natural affinity

     Communicate with Animals: Standard

Now, this could be insulting, the fact that I can communicate with animals. Sure, it sounds bad. May even seem like I'm little dumb. But animals are smart. Well, most. Dogs are stupid for example. Apes are boring, all they talk about is grooming. Dolphins are depressing because they feel they have no purpoise in life *rimshot*. Overall, I find it to be a very handy skill.