Mr. Roboto

PERSONAL

Gender: Male

Kit: Alien

Location: Wherever Danger is lurking!

AFFILIATION

Alignment: Hero

Team: Solo Hero

VITAL STATS

Strength: standard (rank 1)

Agility: standard (rank 1)

Mind: standard (rank 1)

Body: superior (rank 2)

Spirit: (rank )

Charisma: (rank )

RECORD

Fame Points: 0

Personal Wins: 14

Personal Losses: 21

Team Wins: 0

Team Losses: 0

Tourney Wins: 0

Tourney Losses: 0

STATUS

Status: Active

Hugo Fowl

He was a being....Bred for war and strife. A tool of violence, and death....From a race of beings who lived for the high that comes with combat....He was a warrior! And he was the forerunner as well....Having been sent to Earth as a scout, his first act to prep the invasion was to download all available information on humanity, and logically...He choose to download the internet....Big mistake......

2010.

Location: Classified.

General Blaze was not in a good mood.... He had enough on his plate with Janus and his machinates...Now he had to deal with some alien?! Brushing past some unimportant aides, he entered a room and spoke without preamble.

"What the hell is going on?"

Almost nervously, one of the aides would speak.

"General, about approximately 24 hours ago, our satellites detected what appeared to be a meteor falling into our system....From the direction of this particular star cluster."

Upon the screen in question was a view of the outer galaxy, which with a few minor twitches, highlighted the area. To Blaze, it just looked like more stars. Cutting through the explanation, he snapped.

"Alright already! So he came from that section, then what!"

Flustered, the man spoke again.

"Ah, er-Well, its first act was to gain pertinent information on us as a species, and it downloaded the internet...All of it."

Blaze was stunned. "It downloaded the freaking Internet?! How advanced is this race?! And do we have to worry? How did we get it here?!"

The aide hemmed and hawed before finally gesturing to the general and as they walked to the room, he paused and spoke.

"Sir....This is something you need to see to believe...."

And letting him into the room, the General looked down and blinked in mute surprise.

The forerunner, the harbinger of eventual death and darkness from a galaxy guaranteed to bring an invasion, a la "Independence Day"....Was sobbing. No tears, that was impossible...It was a robot for crying out loud....But there was no other words to describe it. Swiveling a mechanical eye on the other, the....Thing would wail.

"Say Its Not So!"

The General blinked in surprise.

"What are you talking about?"

The robot would only sob more and wail.

"That The Cake Is Not A Lie! Oh Noes! Error, Error! Redo From Start!"

And again, it would wail mournful cries as an ugly world of which it was unprepared for reared its head.....The General was shocked.

"What the fu-?"

 

The problem with downloading the Internet was that it was in fact....Well, the internet. A more wretched hive of memes and forums as you will never believe, with languages that the heathens of old would have denounced as demon speech, and the most inane babble one could imagine....All of it, downloaded into this poor, robot alien scouts head...You had to feel sorry for it. From close inspection, this....Thing appeared to fluctuate between neurotic, to psychotic...Depending on what it saw. Poor thing....

 

Don't Tase Me Bro!

     Force Field: superior (rank 2)

 

Year:2010

Location: Classified.

From his bunker, General Blaze watched as the alien(with the increasingly popular name, "Mr. Roboto") waited patiently on the field....Ready to be tested by his men and with a nod, the test began. Automatic fire filled the air....Grenades, and the like tossed at Mr. Roboto and obscuring the mens view....But as the dust cleared, all could see that he was unharmed....A shimmering force-field, surrounding him as his head swiveled 360 degrees around as he spoke.

"LEEEEROOOOY JEEEEEENKIIIIIINNNNSSSS!!!!"

 

I See What You Did Thar'

     Flight: superior (rank 2)

 

Through some technology unknown, it began to fly....The force-field still intact, encasing Mr. Roboto as he looked around and scanners locked on to all of soldiers bio signatures... Time to go on the attack....And with a hum, its weapon would fire...

 

Boom! Headshot!

     Gravity: superior (rank 2)

 

General Blaze winced as he saw the result....A Gravity Beam machine, that would shoot out and either slam the people it shot to the ground, or alter their gravity that they would begin to fly up....If used for its original purpose instead of a test, this would have been a rain of death....Waitaminute...He frowned and gestured to tech next to him to pick up whatever Mr. Roboto seemed to be saying.... And over the radio would be the following.....

"Chocolate Rain! Some Stay Dry And Others Feel The Pain, Chocolate Rain! A Baby Born Will Die Before The Sin, Chocolate Rain! The School-"

General Blaze sighed and rubbed his temples....

"And he's on our side now?"

"Yes sir."

"Thank God for that."