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By UMPIRE

Battlesphere Battle Royal Part 9 Match 17107 Chloe Bourgeois vs. Roxy Rocket vs. Red Claw

MATCH SCORE
Chloe Bourgeois: 3
Roxy Rocket: 2
Red Claw: 1

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Master Shifu vs. Ted Lasso

MATCH SCORE
Master Shifu: 6
Ted Lasso: 4

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Apollo Creed vs. Zordon of Eltar

MATCH SCORE
Apollo Creed: 6
Zordon of Eltar: 7

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Mercy (Overwatch) vs. The Holographic Doctor

MATCH SCORE
Mercy (Overwatch): 3
The Holographic Doctor: 8

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Middle-Earth vs. Mini-Me

MATCH SCORE
Middle-Earth: 3
Mini-Me: 9

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Mickey Goodmill vs. Phil (Disney)

MATCH SCORE
Mickey Goodmill: 8
Phil (Disney): 3

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Ethan Hunt vs. Carmen Sandiego

MATCH SCORE
Ethan Hunt: 2
Carmen Sandiego: 10

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Iroh vs. Sgt. Slaughter

MATCH SCORE
Iroh: 5
Sgt. Slaughter: 7

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Ratchet vs. Julian Bashir

MATCH SCORE
Ratchet: 4
Julian Bashir: 6

By UMPIRE

11:7 - President Thomas J. Whitmore vs. Master Roshi

MATCH SCORE
President Thomas J. Whitmore: 8
Master Roshi: 2

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Raccoon City vs. Bob (Agent of Hydra)

MATCH SCORE
Raccoon City: 7
Bob (Agent of Hydra): 4

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Hoth vs. Marco Diaz

MATCH SCORE
Hoth: 8
Marco Diaz: 1

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Amy Wong vs. Westview, New Jersey

MATCH SCORE
Amy Wong: 8
Westview, New Jersey: 2

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Rafiki vs. Gouken

MATCH SCORE
Rafiki: 6
Gouken: 3

By UMPIRE

11:7 - The Town of Silent Hill vs. Genie (Disney)

MATCH SCORE
The Town of Silent Hill: 2
Genie (Disney): 7

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Sasuke (Ganbare Goemon) vs. Genji

MATCH SCORE
Sasuke (Ganbare Goemon): 1
Genji: 7

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Kato vs. The Cube

MATCH SCORE
Kato: 4
The Cube: 6

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Dr. Gregory House vs. Bones McCoy

MATCH SCORE
Dr. Gregory House: 4
Bones McCoy: 6

By UMPIRE

11:7 - Vanellope Von Schweetz vs. Princess Calla

MATCH SCORE
Vanellope Von Schweetz: 9
Princess Calla: 3

By UMPIRE

Tournament - The Kraken (Clash of the Titans) vs. Midgard Serpent

MATCH SCORE
The Kraken (Clash of the Titans): 2
Midgard Serpent: 3

Tournament - Bender vs. Rachel Green


Bergy_Berg
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               “Good news everyone!” The professor entered the Planet Express common room in high spirits.

               Bender let out a loud, flaming belch. “This better not be like your last piece of good news. You know, the one that ended with Fry and Amy temporarily fused by their scalps.”

               “I washed my hair 10 times since then and I still can’t get rid of all his dandruff,” Amy says, her face contorting into a disgusted grimace.

               “You should try peanut butter, I hear that works,” Fry pipes in.

               “No, no. Nothing that ends with anyone connected in ways they don’t want. At least, that shouldn’t happen… No, I think you’ll find this good news to be good news, everyone. The attractive young friends who moved into the building across the street have agreed to come over for Thanksgiving today.”

               As the professor finishes his explanation the door whooshes open and 6 friends walk in.

               “Hi, thanks for having us,” the woman with dark hair attempts to introduce the group. “It’s really nice to- Ah, Ah, ACHOO!”

               “Are you feeling OK Monica?” the man next to her says, putting his arm around her shoulder.

               “Sniff. Yeah Chandler, I’m fine. Just a little sneeze. Anyway, I’m Monica. This is my husband Chandler, my brother Ross, and my friends Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe.”

               “Introduced last, I see where I stand,” Phoebe interjects. “Well, we’ll see how you feel when you get picked last to play Turkeystuffers later.”

               Chandler looks at Phoebe quizzically. “And what, pray tell, is Turkeystuffers?”

               “Oh wouldn’t you like to know,” she responds with a smile.

               The professor ushers the Friends in towards the table. “This is the Planet Express team. I’m sure from the descriptions I gave you’ll be able to tell who’s who.”

               Phoebe walks over to Dr. Zoidberg. “Aw, you must be Amy. The professor said you were pretty, but I didn’t think you would be this pretty.”

               “Why, thank you young lady.” Zoidberg turns to the rest of his colleagues. “No one correct her, or else!” His frill stands straight up as he finishes talking.

               “Fry,” the Professor says, “when will Elzar be here to prepare dinner?”

               Fry takes out his phone. “Let me check… Let’s see, I asked him to be here around… 10 minutes ago. And his response was ‘Hell no I’m not coming to cook your Thanksgiving dinner.’ Huh, guess I should have read his response sooner. I assumed when I told him he could keep the leftovers that would be enough payment for him.”

               “Makes perfect sense to me,” Joey says. “But now who’s gonna make dinner? It’s Thanksgiving and I’m in my stretchy pants, someone better get cooking.”

               “Don’t worry Joey,” Monica says. “You are friends with a chef, remember? Professor, where are your-Ah, ah, AAACHOOOO!!” Monica lets out another Titanic sneeze.

               “I don’t like the sound of those sneezes,” Leela says. She pulls out a small laser emitting tool. “Here, let me scan you.” The machine lays out a grid over Monica’s face, beeps a few times, and comes back with a reading. “Hmmm, Covid-19,0000. That can’t be good.”

               “Oh, it’s perfectly safe,” Professor Farnsworth reassures her. “The Covid viruses stopped being contagious after we switched away from 5G. It’s actually a bit of a mystery how Monica here has it.”

               “See guys, not contagious. Sniff. So, where’s the food? I’ll start cooking.”

               “It’s in the fridge over there,” the Professor points towards the kitchen. “Though I should warn you, the Covid viruses are no longer contagious, but they do make the infected very susceptible to combustion. The gas grill may be a bit of a risk.”

               “Then who the hell is making dinner!?” Joey demands, slamming silverware onto the table.

               In unison, Bender and Rachel speak up. “I can make it!” The two glare at each other.

               “Look lady, this is my company and that’s my kitchen. I’ll be making dinner.”

               “Rachel, why don’t you let the robot cook?” Ross pleads. “We all remember your, um, interesting take on a trifle.” The rest of the Friends gang nod their heads in agreement.

               “No, no,” Leela says. “She can take care of it. After all Bender, you don’t want to work on Thanksgiving, do you?”

               “Nonsense,” Bender responds. “I would love to show off my culinary expertise to our new neighbors. Besides, I can get this dinner done in 20 minutes.”

               Joey perks up at the claim. “20 minutes? LET THE ROBOT COOK!”

               “No, Joey. I can handle this.” With that, Rachel marches towards the kitchen.

               “I’ll show you human. I’m gonna cook the crap outta Thanksgiving.”

               “That’s what we’re afraid of,” Amy sighs.

               “Do you folks know any places that will deliver?” Chandler asks. The sound of crashing and burning soon starts to emanate from the Planet Express kitchen. “I have a feeling we may be ordering in for dinner.”

 

 

Bender Bending Rodriguez and Rachel Green are locked in a culinary battle for the ages. Which of these terrible self-described amazing cooks will win the day?

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It was pretty funny and odd match up, but certainly creative... I really haven't seen either show, except a couple episodes here and there of both. I think from what little I've seen, Rachael was a pretty bad cook but her friends seem to put on a face. I think she may win because I think people would put in a face for her, whereas with Bender they may be brutally honest.

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Hahaha, I like it! Good characterisation,  and the dialogue flowed quite nicely. You can "hear" them saying exactly all that. Innovative and fun,  well done.

Honestly haven't a clue who would win, or quite what the criteria for winning even is, but not sure that even matters here. I think Rachel is most likely to cook something at least consumable by a human (albeit disgusting), whereas Bender may well throw some bolts or oil or detergent in there; so handing this to Rachel.

Nice one! 

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Super entertaining.  And super relevant to Thanksgiving!  Nice holiday entry.

I foresee a Kentucky Fried Chicken run in their future.  Me personally, I'd already be out the door and on the way to the Colonel's.

Thanks for the fun read!

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Good entry, Bergy. I haven't watched much of Friends or Futurama, but after looking up both Bender and Rachel, I'd have to conclude that Rachel just might be less likely to get people sick -- or worse -- with her cooking. Still, as Fox mentioned, someone might end ordering takeout in the end instead.

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Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
Peypeypeypey - CBUB Match Judge : 3 Stars x 2
patrickthekid - CBUB Match Judge : 4 Stars x 2
Fox - CBUB Match Judge : 4 Stars x 2
DSkillz - CBUB Match Judge : 4 Stars x 2

FPA Calculation:
0 + 6 + 2 + 0 + 0 = 8 Total Votes
( (0 * 5) + (6 * 4) + (2 * 3) + (0 * 2) + (0 * 1) ) = 30 Total Stars Score
30 / 8 = 3.75 Total Rating

MATCH SCORE
Bender: 2
Rachel Green: 5

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