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The Boob Tube

Match 14743 Bruce Lee vs. Rocky Balboa

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Episode 191

Match 3: East meets West

Pat: “Hello everyone and welcome back to our main event of the evening. This night has been an interesting one full of twists and turns. We started off this night with some high octane hot potato with a little green alien.”


Jay: “That just so happened to be a lot bouncier than we expected him to be.”


Pat: “And a mid-card throwdown of epic millennial proportions as enemies become allies, for one night, over a game of children’s cards.”


Jay: “Who knew there were so many adults, these days, that were into anime THIS badly.”


Pat: “But now it is time for our main event of the evening. The legendary stars of the seventies have come together to see who was truly the best in their prime with their own two fists. I’m talking about the legendary dragon himself, Brandon Lee, and the Italian Stallion Rocky Balboa!”


Jay: “Both of these men have a long history of mastering art in their respected fields in this combat sport. In one corner, you have a man who always continues to improve himself after every downfall only to get right back up to knock the other guy down.”


Pat: “And in the other corner, we have a man who is trained in the ancient martial arts to always study his opponents and know when to strike at the right moment.”


Jay: “Wow Pat, in all my years working with you I never expected you to be this excited over this match.”


Pat: “I’m not going to lie, Jay. I never felt more invigorated until tonight because these are two phenomenal men that, through their movies that I have watched growing up, inspired so many people to get into a boxing ring and an MMA octagon and duke it out, mano a mano! None of those fancy laser swords, magic powers, or super strength to crush a guy with a giant boulder. This is just raw and real fighting.”


Jay: “Whatever you say, my friend. Now why don’t you wipe those wet stains off of your pants and tell our viewers at home where they are fighting tonight.”


Pat: “But Jay, I...I don’t have any stains.”


Jay rolls his eyes for a brief moment and goes over the arena tonight.


Jay: “Our combatants will be fighting in a very standard boxing ring with the general rules that apply to all boxers for a main event. This will be a 10 round match with 3 minutes for each round.”


Pat: “The only real twist about this main event is that they will be wearing the standard 4 ounce MMA boxing gloves so that way no one will get the upper hand in more damage between blows over the other. Everything else is fair game.”


 Jay: “And speaking of fair games, it would appear that our fighters are entering the arena as we speak. From the looks of it, I’d say both of them are primed and ready to go as our official CBUB boxing referee Stone Cold Steve Austin is in the ring to get this main event underway.”


Steve Austin: “Gentleman, first off, I just wanna say that it’s an honor to be officiating this match tonight. You two are, without a doubt, the baddest of non-powered bad asses that have ever graced the presence of the Multiverse. Now with that said, wanna good clean fight between the two of you. No cheap shots, like eye gouging or the kick to the balls whatsoever. That shit ain’t fun. We got it?”


Bruce Lee: “The only real power is that which dwells within our minds. Coordinating your attacks in order to deliver the crushing blow to your opponents.”


Rocky: “‘Ey, I don’ know much about the whole ‘mind thing,’ but what power comes from yo’ heart. As long as it keeps a tickin’ the human body will never stop.”


Steve Austin: “Alrighty then. Now...Let’s get it on!”


As the bell rings both fighters tap gloves as they begin their match.

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Rocky wins this match.

This ain't movie fights, it's an actual fight. Stallone has 80 pounds on Lee, same height so it's even harder.



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Match Final Results

0 regular members rated the match.
1 CBUB Match Judges rated the match.

Bruce Lee: 11
Rocky Balboa: 1

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Congrats on the 5 star, mate. I guess I was the only one who rated lol

  • Haha 1

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4 hours ago, SSJRuss said:

Congrats on the 5 star, mate. I guess I was the only one who rated lol

Much appreciated. lol

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Can't believe I was the only one who voted for Rocky 😔

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