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The Boob Tube

Match 14726 Tracer vs. Din Djarin

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Episode 191

 

Match 1: Adventures in Babysitting

 

The show begins with the lights fading up revealing a very large dome shaped empty arena, the music begins to grow around the event. It would then cue to one of the commentators beginning the show's introduction along with images of each of the combatants appearing on screen as the announcer begins his monologue. “Outlaws for good going head-to-head, card wielding duelists becoming deadly allies, and the best of the seventies duking it out to see who was the best in their prime. All this, and more, on tonight’s episode of Comic Book Universe Battles!” The music quickly cues up to a more thematic intro with the CBUB logo popping up in front of everyone’s screens.

 

Pat: "Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the, new and improved, Comic Book Battles streaming live on Khazan Stream Media. I am your host, Pat Summers!"

 

Jay: "And I’m Jay Peoples! We have a great show for you, this evening. After making our triumphant return the ratings were absolutely SKYROCKETED with over half a million new subscribers to Khazan Stream, and it is all thanks to you fine people across the multiverse that took the plunge and signed up to this fantastic streaming service." 

 

Pat: "And, in return, we will do our best to provide all of you the most electrifying matches that you will not see anywhere else across the multiverse."

 

Jay: "So with that said, let’s bring to you our first match of the evening starting with one more Newbie’s Match with Tracer from the Overwatch realm taking on Din Djarin from the Star Wars universe."

 

Pat: "A bit of an odd setup, you may think to yourself, but in reality it does make a lot of sense. For you see, in one corner of the ring, we have the bubly Brit that everyone loves with a can do attitude that she brings to the matches with her fellow superhero team. And on the other side we have the elite bounty hunter th--"

 

Jay: "Uhh...Pat?

 

Pat: "--That is trained by a moral creed who will do anythi--"

 

Jay: "PAT!"

 

Pat: "Really, JAY? WHAT IS...oh…"

 

Pat looks over his shoulder to see a fully armored Mandalorian standing over the two commentators from behind. The Mandalorian slowly leans while pressing his hands on each of their chairs.

 

Din: “Where is he?”

 

Pat: “Where’s what?”

 

Din: “The child! I had him with me when I got here and now he disappeared from my sight. I need to know where he is, right now.”

 

Jay: “Look pal, we don’t know what you’re talking about. We just host a show to billions of bloodthirsty fans across the multiverse.”

 

Pat: “My co-host is right. If you’re looking for a kid, you’ve come to the wrong pla-- Hold on…”

 

Pat listens in to his microphone that is embedded in his ear as he is receiving new information.

 

Pat: “Ladies and gentleman, we have some breaking news to report to you. It would appear that a small green child has walked into the Khazan battle arena unsupervised!”

 

Jay: “WHAT?”

 

Din: “Did you say, ‘small green child?’”

 

Pat: “Indeed, let’s take our drone cameras over to where the child is right now!”

 

A few piloted drones hover their way over inside the arena, where it is already set up as a steel works factory, as the cameras catch a small baby shaped Yoda wandering around inside. The child looks at the drones, with amused curiosity, as he tries to reach out to grab it. However, he is quickly picked up by someone else.

 

Tracer: “AWWWW! Look how CUUUTE you are, you little lovely. I just wanna leave this arena, take you home, and just snuggle ya!”

 

Steve Austin: “Nuh uh! Not yet, at least.”

 

The CBUB’s official referee, Stone Cold Steve Austin, takes the child from Tracer and place him in the center of the factory. As he places the child down two giant colored squares light up on opposite ends of the arena.

 

Steven Austin: “So the head honchos upstairs have told me that this is now a Capture the Flag match, but with an adorable little alien. We have a blue square and a red square on opposite ends of the arena. The way this works is that you take the child and take it over to your square and you score a point as it instantly teleports back to the center. The first person to score 10 points wins the match. Now get your sorry ass in here, Mandalorian, and let’s get it on!”

 

Din: “How do I get down there?”

 

Jay: “There’s an exit door and some stairs on the left. Follow the signs and it’ll guide you the rest of the way.”

 

Pat: “Well folks, not every match that we have on CBUB will be a slobber knocker. As our Manadlorian intruder makes his way down into the arena, let’s see what our viewers on social media have to say about this.”

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Unexpected and fun. So glad you're doing this style. Feels needed here at CBUB.

I'm not familiar with Tracer's abilities but she doesn't strike me as a super violent, no nonsense kind of person. The Mandalorian will lose a few times, start to figure her out and come out with the win from behind.

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Match Final Results

RATINGS SCORE: 4.50
0 regular members rated the match.
2 CBUB Match Judges rated the match.

MATCH SCORE
Tracer: 2
Din Djarin: 8

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