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IKA

Tournament - Ted Mosby vs. Lucifer

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Kids, Did I ever tell you about the time I visited Los Angeles? 
 
(The kids looked as confused as ever, and not really interested in this story, but they listened anyway.) 
 
“Well it was shortly after the inaugural “Slapsgiving” in the spring of 2018, I was a bit down on my luck – Your aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall had just moved out and your Aunt Robin had been on her long vacation with her boyfriend Gael, and so it was just me and your Uncle Barney for a while. You see Barney was excited for a time that both he and I were both single men ready to take the world by storm, and I, well I still had a hard time getting over your aunt Robin. In an attempt to get her off my mind, he surprised me with a nice vacation to Los Angeles, and I have to say, I did have one hell of a time.”  
 
(I had the kids’ attention now.) 
 
*Que How I met your mother opening theme song, cut to the theme to Lucifer* 
 
Barney of course as Barney always did had his own scheme he was working on. He had picked up on an up and coming local nightclub know as Lux and heard the owner was a real lady's man. In fact, one of his coworkers even let it out that the owner – Lucifer – might even be more of a lady's man than he was. Barney took this a personal challenge and of course decided that he needed his wingman, me. Entering the Lux, to be completely honest, I wasn’t feeling it all. We met some attractive women, I can’t for the life of me remember any of their names and Barney was on quite the hot streak. He’d pick up a woman, leave with her and the in what seemed like seconds he’d be back with a new gimmick picking up another. We’d drink some, he’d pick up another woman and repeat, by the end of the night had picked up at least ten women and if was a show to behold. He was confident that he had proven to himself that he could out do even the devil himself. It was getting late and it was time for last call, we both took our last drink and prepared to head out with our heads held high. As we gathered ourselves and we began to walk out the door, it’s when we noticed Lucifer had been taking twenty smoking hot women up into his penthouse. In that one moment he had scored twice as many women that Barney had gotten all night. Barney was not happy about that at all. I started to head towards the door when Barney grabbed my jacket and stared me directly in the eye.  
 
“Ted,” he said, “We are going into that penthouse and we are going to steal his women from him.”  
 
“No,” I said, “I think I’m ready to leave.” 
 
We both know though, I never really had a choice in the matter, Barney grabbed my arm and ran to the stairs to go up to the penthouse. When we got to the top, we came to the realization that we had to also take the elevator, as the stairs only took us to the upper level of the nightclub. Without even hesitating, Barney called the elevator and pushed us in. I looked to Barney who had suddenly frozen like a robot trying to calculate the best answer to the equation and by that, I mean what was he going to tell Lucifer was the reason. We got to the top, and as the doors began to open, we were greeted to Lucifer himself staring us down, Barney froze, I froze. 
 
“Ah I see ladies the extra entertainment has arrived!” Lucifer says as he raises his drink toward the women behind them now all stripped down to their undergarments. He looked back at us and said, “A little more on the professor side and less on the exotic side, not exactly what we ordered, but we can deal with that. I hope you guys don’t mind a drink or two on the job, and we have a fair bit of p....” 
 
He said sandwiches kids, that night Barney and I had a lot of drinks and had a lot of sandwiches anyway back to the story... 
 
“and we have a fair bit of sandwiches if that takes your interest,” he finished saying as he turned back to the women.” 
 
The rest of that night was kind of a haze, Barney had had a bit too much to drink and passed out on his couch in the loft. When we awoke the next day, Barney had taken notice that despite the amount of “entertaining” he had done that night, all of the women still ended the night with Lucifer. Barney had met his match. That’s okay though because it gave him all the inspiration, he needed to take on the hot streak he achieved upon returning to New York. While Barney and I struggled to make it to our feet, Lucifer had already woken up, gotten all dressed up in his suit and began to drink his whiskey.  
 
“You guys don’t need to rush, come have a drink with me!” He said. Barney was pissed, how could he be beaten by some random nightclub owner with a terrible fake British accent – his words not mine – but we still we both got up and waddled towards the bar.  
 
“Water please” I said. He obliged and got Barney and I some water. 
 
“You must be new to the entertainment business, you were both a bit off tune,” He smiled, “Still you guys do have much room to improve. He looked towards Barney and winked. “I may just have to order you guys another time.” Barney almost choked on his water and I patted him on the back. 
 
“Real man’s man Barney,” I chuckled at him. Barney really started to dislike Lucifer be it from jealousy or that that he was disappointed in himself, I’m not really sure.  
 
“Tell me Barney,” Lucifer said while turning back to us looking Barney in the eyes, “What is it you truly desire?” Barney looked like he was almost in a trance like state, he must have been trying to find a way out of answering him. 
 
“I... I want,” Barney said, admittedly even I wanted to know what story he would come up with. 
 
It was then that the elevator doors opened and out came one of the most beautiful women I had even seen, Chasity. I nudged Barney who looked at her, a huge smiled came across his face as he jumped from his stool and proceeded to greet her.  
 
“Hi I’m Barney!” He said approaching her.  
 
“Dibs!” I said quietly under my breathe, Barney was the only one that heard me.  
 
Haaaaavve you met Ted?” He said as he directed her attention towards me. I got see him sneering at me, the most evil eyes you’ve ever seen in your life. 
 
“Hi Barney,” She said before looking at me and smiling, “Hi Ted.” As fast as she gave me her attention, it was gone. “Lucy, we need to talk, now!”  
 
“Well boys, it looks like my friend here and I have a bit of business to handle so you’ll have to run along now.” and now I had a goal, I needed to win the heart of one Ms. Chasity Jones and I had only one week to do it. As we left the nightclub, Barney looked at me and smiled.  
 
“Well Ted, how would you like to go to a charity night tonight?” 
 
“What do you have in mind?” I asked, but I should have known what was coming next. 
 
“I happen to know Lucifer is going to a charity dinner tonight, and something tells me, that your friend Chasity is going to be there.”  
 
“How on Earth are we going to get into an event like that in such short notice.”  
 
“Please Ted I mean come on, I know a guy.” 
 
“I should have guessed; okay I guess I know what we’re doing tonight.” 
 
Only a few short hours later, Barney and I were at it again this time dressed to impress and probably smelling a bit better. As we came into the main lobby, we seen a man letting everyone in and giving them their numbers. We approached the man who asked, Barney to pick a number from one to one-hundred, I could see the look in his eye as he smiled. 
 
“I’ll take sixty-nine!" 
 
“Sorry sir, but it looks like that number is already taken.” 
 
“How about ninety-six?” I quickly said trying to make sure Barney didn’t say something dumb. After a quick look through his numbers, he gave us ninety-six and off we went to our table. Barney fiddled with the number tag, but he was upset because it just wasn’t the same. To make matters worse, we noticed just sitting a few tables down, at table sixty-nine was none other than Lucifer. Barney could have attacked him right there; the fire was burning in his eyes. I had another idea though, I casually walked by the table pretending not to notice them, but Lucifer had noticed me and hailed me over to his table.  
 
“Ted!” he said, “We have plenty of room here, why don’t you join us?” I called Barney over who was probably more excited to sit with that number than he should have been. Sitting at the table was Lucifer, Chasity, Barney and I as well as another woman who seemed to be there with Lucifer. Lucifer was obviously the main talking point at the table, but I tried my best to get to know Chasity. Lucifer’s friend seemed to take a liking to Barney too and the night was going well. As the event started to kick off, Lucifer raised his glass and walked away from the table, he was going to sing a song for the crowd while playing the Piano, and well Barney had gotten a nice kiss from the lady.  As the song came to a close, so did the event, I think Chasity and I really hit it off that night, and I learned a lot about her. I learned she was smart, funny and she even had a cute daughter at home. But most importantly, she was single. I had walked to the restroom to wash my hands before we got some food, and Barney followed me in. I told him about everything I had learned about Chasity and Barney did not approve. 
 
“What? You can’t date a chick with a child!?” Barney said. “Sorry Ted, I think this one is a busty bust.”  
 
“What is so wrong about being with a woman with a child?”  
 
“Ted, Ted, Ted, look it’s like this, if she has a child and you spend time with her, she’ll want you to get to know her kid, and then she’ll want you to meet her family, and family is never a good thing, and trust me when I say meeting the kid’s father is always going to be awkward. And also, the more time she spends putting the kid to bed, the less time she spends putting you to bed, if you know what I mean.” 
 
As we left the restroom, Lucifer passed by us. He looked at Barney and smiled. 
 
“It looks like you really hit it off with our friend Charity, she really does know how to work her womanly charms for someone who was born a man,” He said as he patted Barney on the shoulder. “Good for you, and I was just about to hit on her myself too. That’s alright though, I think I’m aiming for Chasity anyway!” 
 
He walked into the restroom as Barney ran to the bar and chugged down a whole glass of rum. He placed his hand on my shoulder and looked at Chasity.  
 
“I was wrong Ted,” He looked at me. “You’re going to get your woman and I’m going to be the best wingman you’ve ever had.” 
 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
The Rules –  
 
Beginning of Season 3 Ted vs Pre-Detective Lucifer.  
 
Ted has ONE week to get Chasity’s interest and has 100% support and all funding for anything he could need from Barney. Barney is willing to do anything to ruin Lucifer’s chances and his personal Vendetta means that he will do anything to help Ted get the win.   
 
If Ted cannot get Chasity in that time frame or they cannot sabotage Lucifer’s advances, Lucifer will get the win by default. If Lucifer finds out, he will not use his powers to stop Ted, but will instead take it as a personal challenge because he is Lucifer bloody Morningstar.  
 
Plot twist – If Chasity chooses neither, both Ted and Lucifer loose and Chasity gets the victory – though she is not actively avoiding either of them. If this is the outcome you wish, just don’t vote :) 

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Creative match. The set-up was fine and characterization was on point. Haven't seen much of HIMYM but I'm one season in on Lucifer.

I think both will bed Chasity, but Ted will win in the end. Lucifer won't care and will move on to the next thing that excites him. He will just give up I think.

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Good point. 

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I like how you used Lucifer's database pic IN the match. Clever sir.

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I have not watched the related shows but I am aware of the shows.  It is easy enough to get the gist of it the characters involved and their motivations. 

For me, the scenario felt overlong. I had to re-establish my mental focus a couple of times to get through it.  There are some dense description paragraphs in there that feel like they bog it down.  I feel it could probably be trimmed up and made a snappier read.

That aside, the character interactions seem on point and the setting of the match is well visualized.

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Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
CBUB Member : 4 Stars
CBUB Match Judge : 3 Stars x 2
CBUB Member : Join date after Dec. 31 2019. Not counted.
CBUB Match Judge : 3 Stars x 2

FPA Calculation:
0 + 1 + 4 + 0 + 0 = 5 Total Votes
( (0 * 5) + (1 * 4) + (4 * 3) + (0 * 2) + (0 * 1) ) = 16 Total Stars Score
16 / 5 = 3.20 Total Rating

MATCH SCORE
Ted Mosby: 1
Lucifer: 5

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The rating stings. Wish more people said why they rated it a certain way.

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I gave it a 3.

On the whole I liked it and I enjoyed some parts of this. You're writing skill is prominent and I didn't notice any huge grammar issues.

Part of my scoring came from personal taste. I hadn't seen enough of either show and I think that played a role in that I didn't feel there was any stakes. I'm not saying there should always be stakes of importance but if the stakes/drama isn't high then you better bump up the action or silliness.

I don't think having two girls named Chasity and Charity helped either because their names are so alike and you can get confused.

What I really liked though was that you did make this feel like an episode of how I met your mother. You even included a mention of the opening with some Lucifer op mixed in. That was a nice touch.

I also liked your rules/outcomes of the match at the end. It was creative and probably something I wouldn't think of.

Keep up the good work mate. Hope to see you compete next month.

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