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Battlesphere Battle Royal Part 9 Match 17107 Chloe Bourgeois vs. Roxy Rocket vs. Red Claw

Chloe Bourgeois: 3
Roxy Rocket: 2
Red Claw: 1


11:7 - Master Shifu vs. Ted Lasso

Master Shifu: 6
Ted Lasso: 4


11:7 - Apollo Creed vs. Zordon of Eltar

Apollo Creed: 6
Zordon of Eltar: 7


11:7 - Mercy (Overwatch) vs. The Holographic Doctor

Mercy (Overwatch): 3
The Holographic Doctor: 8


11:7 - Middle-Earth vs. Mini-Me

Middle-Earth: 3
Mini-Me: 9


11:7 - Mickey Goodmill vs. Phil (Disney)

Mickey Goodmill: 8
Phil (Disney): 3


11:7 - Ethan Hunt vs. Carmen Sandiego

Ethan Hunt: 2
Carmen Sandiego: 10


11:7 - Iroh vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Iroh: 5
Sgt. Slaughter: 7


11:7 - Ratchet vs. Julian Bashir

Ratchet: 4
Julian Bashir: 6


11:7 - President Thomas J. Whitmore vs. Master Roshi

President Thomas J. Whitmore: 8
Master Roshi: 2


11:7 - Raccoon City vs. Bob (Agent of Hydra)

Raccoon City: 7
Bob (Agent of Hydra): 4


11:7 - Hoth vs. Marco Diaz

Hoth: 8
Marco Diaz: 1


11:7 - Amy Wong vs. Westview, New Jersey

Amy Wong: 8
Westview, New Jersey: 2


11:7 - Rafiki vs. Gouken

Rafiki: 6
Gouken: 3


11:7 - The Town of Silent Hill vs. Genie (Disney)

The Town of Silent Hill: 2
Genie (Disney): 7


11:7 - Sasuke (Ganbare Goemon) vs. Genji

Sasuke (Ganbare Goemon): 1
Genji: 7


11:7 - Kato vs. The Cube

Kato: 4
The Cube: 6


11:7 - Dr. Gregory House vs. Bones McCoy

Dr. Gregory House: 4
Bones McCoy: 6


11:7 - Vanellope Von Schweetz vs. Princess Calla

Vanellope Von Schweetz: 9
Princess Calla: 3


Tournament - The Kraken (Clash of the Titans) vs. Midgard Serpent

The Kraken (Clash of the Titans): 2
Midgard Serpent: 3

Hell Night: A Penelope Whatshername Story

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I first want to say THANK YOU to The Rookie for letting me write this.


Second, hope you all enjoy, this is just the start and I'll add chapters as I go along




7:00 PM, October 30


Penelope took a long sip from her cup as she sat in the old coffee shop near the Mission. It had a slightly greasy texture to it which she liked as she swirled the bitter brown liquid in its mug. As she took another sip she admired the fresh forearm length scar on her left arm. It was a few weeks ago some jerk sliced her with a knife, clean to the bone, which forced her to get stitches. She remembered how she got looked at right away from some skeezy clinic. She was after all becoming a bit of a celebrity.


"What am I doing" Penelope muttered to herself as she looked at the chipped table top she was sitting at. It had been a good long year since she killed Eli Bentley and since then she's been chased by police and loved by the public. But what was the point? What was the end game?


She looked outside and saw people walking around in their costumes. When Halloween lands on a weekend it just seems like an excuse for people to walk around in disguise for three days straight. Penelope smiled at the hilarious "sexy" costumes and the guys playing out their weird power fantasies. She kept looking as she watched a tall thin man in drag dressed in a short plaid skirt, a fishnet top and a black bra carrying a baseball bat.


Penelope realized who he was dressed up as she left the diner leaving behind a few bills. She started to chase after him and yelled to get his attention as he turned a corner. As Penelope followed him she saw a couple of guys surrounding her drag doppleganger.


"Faggot, who the hell are you suppose to be?" A guy in a construction man costume pushed him as he asked.


"I'm Penelope Whatshername of course!"


"Oh you going to use that bat on us if we harm you?" Another guy dressed up like a Captain Jacksparrow pirtate chimed in as a friend of his dressed like Superman threw the first punch.


Penelope quickly grabbed her bat from off her back as she ran up and swung it hard into the belly of the guy dressed as Superman as she said "no but I will!" She pulled her bat away as she spun it in her hand as the guy dressed as Penelope crawled behind her.


"You going to defend this piece of shit just because he's dressed like you?" Asked the construction worker as the Superman guy held his stomach starting to stand.


"I'm going to defend him because I think you're all a bunch of ass holes." Penelope swung her bat as the construction worker ducked the swing. A fist coming towards her face from the pirate as she backed herself against a wall holding her bat up. Stepping forward she jabbed the end of her bat into the belly of the pirate as she swung out again nailing the construction worker in the face.


Penelope kept her bat high as the faced off with the Superman. She pulled back to swing when something grabbed her bat. She turned around as a guy dressed as a Cowboy punched her hard in the face, sending her spiraling backwards as he pulled the bat from her hands.


"Now that you don't have your little toy just how tough are you?" The cowboy snickered as he said that when all of the sudden he was knocked out from behind. A girl with long blonde hair pulled her leg down from the kick to his back as she picked up my bat and tossed it over to me.


The Superman tried to throw a punch at her as she weaved her head, grabbing his arm and twisting it as Penelope winced at the sound of cracking bone. Her eyes saw the Pirate making a run as she pulled her bat back and swung it hard at his head, knocking some teeth out as he was sent flying to the concrete.


The Construction worker looked at the two girls as they stood side by side of each other as he said "*vulgarity* you bitches!" Running away Penelope sighed as his companions joined him. She turned to the man dressed as her as she helped him up.


"You should call the cops. Those assholes don't deserve to get away." He nodded at Penelope as he ran off.


"Look I don't know who you are but..." Penelope's words were cut off as she reacted quickly to a high kick shot out by the blonde girl. She stumbled back bringing her bat up as she screamed "what's your *vulgarity*ing deal... uh...."


"The name's Oleander. And I only saved you because my orders were for you to start this with me unscathed. I do admit I did find it a little annoying you had to go and play hero."


"Who the hell sent you anyway?"


"Someone you don't know but who knows you very well. Now your reputation precedes you but let's see how good you really are."


The girl held her hand out as she motioned for Penelope to come at her. Penelope gripped her bat tight, confused by the situation, but more then happy to fight her way out of it. She swung hard, aiming for the head which Oleander ducked. She waited for the blonde to straighten up as she landed a solid swing into the girl's side. Oleander winced in pain as she held onto the bat, preventing Penelope from stepping away as she brought her foot up and kicked Penelope hard in her firm stomach.


"Olewhatever, I don't have time for this shit!"


"You're going to have to make time because I got all night." Oleander stuck out with a quick Jab that Penelope dodged. She followed up with a swing of her bat that Oleander blocked with her arm. Penelope swung her head forward, headbutting Oleander as the girl screamed bringing her face up to her nose. Penelope raised the bat over her head and came at Oleander with an overhead swing that Oleander blocked with her hand. She gripped the bat hard as she flipped Penelope on the ground over her shoulder.


Penelope rolled on the sidewalk as she tried to get back onto her feet. She pushed her right hand down onto the concrete as Oleander lifted her foot and stomped on it hard. She ground her heel into  the hand as Penelope screamed, tying to push Oleander away.


"It's probably broken now but let me add a little something as I tell you what's going down. There's a hospital about twenty block away from here. You're probably going to need to see a doctor about this hand of yours. You have till sunrise to make it to the hospital. Now of course I won't make it easy and my boss certainly won't make it easy."


"Why are you doing this you sick bitch!"


"That's for us to know and for you to find out. Consider this your handicap because I'm not sure how well you'll swing with just your left hand."


Oleander finally pulled her foot off as stood there. Penelope was rolling in pain as she tried to sit up up against a wall. Tearing at her stockings she tried to rip off enough fabric to wrap around her broken right hand that was shaking. as both girls looked at each other directly in the eyes.


"I need to go Penelope but let me just say, welcome to Hell Night." Oleander walked off into a darkened Alleyway as Penelope finished up tying up her hand. Screaming as she tightened it as she tried to stand up. Her bat in her left hand she tried to will away the pain and started running north.



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This is a pretty cool start. It seems a bit weird that Oleander, having gone through what she has, would want to mess with somebody like this. Are you going to elaborate on how she got into that position?


Also, you may want to do a second edit on the next part. There were a couple mistakes that made the action scenes weird.

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Two Weeks Earlier, Reno Nevada


The irony of Oleander's situation was not lost on her. Diamondback's death made her a wanted girl. That same death also created a power vacuum in the Las Vegas underworld. It was here where she would be saved by a low rent mob boss by the name of Diego. His slow ascent through the ranks required the services of a bodyguard. She became that bodyguard.


It was Saturday night at a club in Reno as Diego draped himself in dozens of paid women. Oleander looked on in slight disgust as Diego looked up at her.


"Feel free to join" he said as a few of his buddies laughed. Oleander simply looked away as the loud music pounded in her head.


"I'm fine here" she said as he looked out at a small commotion in the crowd.


Three guys in black suits pushed their way through the club goers to the VIP area as the bouncers tried to stop them. As the muscled their way forward Diego pushed one of the girls sitting in his lap onto the floor as he made his way to the black suited men.


"Welcome to Reno brothers! Look here we're not looking for trouble. So why don't you take some of my girls..."


"We don't want those girls. We want that one." He pointed at me as Diego spoke.


"That one, I don't keep around to have my way with."


"We know why you keep her around. We also know our associates in Las Vegas would kill to have her."


"The thing is homie you need to ask her. I don't think you're going to like the..." Oleander cut Diego off as she stepped forward, aiming a fierce sharp front kick to the first man's chest as he was sent him flying off the elevated VIP area to the dance floor bellow. His partners came at her as she ducked and weaved under their punches, coming up with a spinning back kick knocking them both out as the bouncers grabbed them.


"Party's over everyone. Time to go back to my place!" Diego's entourage slipped out the back exit with Oleander followed behind them.


As Oleander stepped out into the warm evening she looked over to her right as she saw an older woman smoking a cigaretter standing under a street light. Despite her age the woman appeared to be in great shape. She stepped forward as Oleander raised her fists.


"Back off blondie I want to talk to Diego."


Diego laughed as he turned around "you know I'm kind of done with talking..."


"I want your bodyguard."


Diego smiled as he said "Oleander and I have a special relationship. She's not slave and if she wanted to she could leave right now. However we provide each other with something special; protection."


"I can provide you with both. For you Diego I can provide this much." The old woman scribbled a note on some paper and handed ti to Diego as he made a whistling sound.


"That's yours if you let me talk to her without worming your way into the conversation. If she doesn't come with me you still get your money."


Diego looked at Oleander as he said "wouldn't hurt to talk. See you back at the Penthouse." The revelers in Diego's entourage screamed as he told them the amount that was scrawled on the note as Oleander looked back at the old man.


"If you think you can buy me you got another thing coming."


"I only bought the rights to talk to you Oleander, or is it Taylor?"


Oleander scoffed as she said "that girl doesn't exist anymore."


"Good. Because I don't want that girl I want the girl you are now."


"The girl you want now is not easy to catch" Oleader moved into her usual muay thai stance as the old woman raised an eyebrow.


"How come you girls always make it so much fun to capture you." The old woman threw off her jacket, revealing her toned arms and body in a white tank top as she went into a traditional sambo stance.


Oleander was surprised to see this woman's ability already as she swung at her with a quick cross. The old woman ducked her head backward as she dodged the punch, grabbing Oleander's arm as she tossed her over her hip. Oleander landed on her back as the old woman wrapped her legs around Oleander's trapped arm.


"I can break it girl or you can come peacefully, now which will it be?"


"Break it you old bitch!"


"Sorry I didn't mean your arm." The old woman pulled a gun out and held it to Oleander's head as she tapped on the ground with her submission.


Meanwhile in San Jose

Edith usually took greater precautions to revealing her abilities to the public but as she ran through the mall she cared little of the fact that she let loose one of her cybernetically propelled jumps to avoid a tackle as she landed hard on the marble floors sending shards of rock flying through the air. 


"DARIA who the hell are these guys?"


"Scanned numerous databases on standard military, special operations and mercenary standard equipment and found no groups that match uniform and weaponary configurations."


Edit ran through a revolving door to the mall as she crashed through the glass. As she stepped outside she held her arms out as a spray of automatic fire flew her way. Edith closed her eyes as she felt her synthetic skin peeling from he shots before the gunfire stopped. Edith opened her eyes as she saw the massive electron magnet being wheeled in front of her.


"DARIA full magnetic shielding...."


It was too late, the magnetic pulse generated from the magnet caused Edith to drop to her knees. Try as she might she quickly performed her back up protocol as her vision became blurry and black.


... twenty miles out from the Mexican border ...


Lucy looked in her review mirror as her foot was slammed against the floor. The desert sand was being kicked up from her wheels as it left a cloud of fine blonde dust behind her. The two black cars had been tailing her since she left Palm Springs and she wondered who they belonged to. DEA, CIA, FBI, some gilted mobster, she wasn't sure nor did she really care. All she knew was the fact that she didn't want to spend time in the slammer.


As one of the black cars tried to tape her from behind Lucy sweved to the left, slowing down as she bumped the car back. She hated using the brute force tactics in a chase, however she saw little else she could've done. She watched as the  car turned and started losing control, slamming into the other black car as the two spun off the road.


Lucy sighed with relief as she knew the border was only a few clicks away. She drove over a small hill when she saw it. A number of black cars and a large helicopter blocking her way to the border guard as Lucy slammed on the breaks. He mind raced, thinking about doing a U turn and driving back. However her rational side took over. Lucy turned off the ignition as she stepped out of the car with her hands up.


... in Los Angeles ...


Rebel held her phone in front of her as she looked into the screen. "To anyone who was following me. Let it be known that Rebel Savage always goes out with a bang." She turned her phone over to the burning school in front of her as it exploded before collapsing. She turned the phone back to herself


"Now I must go." As she said that two mean in black flack jackets grabbed her and shoved her in their car.


... in San Francisco ...


Rylie had drawn her bow for almost five minutes. She could see the shuffling of feet outside her bedroom door which she closed as she hid her body behind an overturned desk. Her arm was aching but it did not quiver or waiver. A perfect drawn stance as she kept her sight down the arrow's length. The murmuring of voices arguing who goes in first was not lost on Rylie's ears as she smiled. When the door finally opened Rylie let go of her arrow watching it fly through a man's eye as she rolled over the overturned table.


She grabbed an arrow from her quiver as she squared a second shot which she let go before another agent was able to grab his pistol. Rylie quickly ran through the door and grabbed another arrow from her quiver as she started to make her way down the stairs.


She quickly spun out of the way as she heard gun fire before loading a second arrow in her hand and firing as she turned down the stairs, taking out two gun men as she ran for the front door.


When she made it outside she stopped as a half dozen pistols were aimed her way. Rylie went to reach for another arrow only to realize she was out. Raising her hands she smiled and said "ok, you got me."


The Next Day, Death Valley California


"Yo, mighty mouse, you gonna eat your garlic bread?" Riley reached out and grabbed a slice of bread off Edith's plate as she shoved it into her mouth.


Lucy pushed a meatball around on her plate as she said "so that's your version of asking. I guess that's white trash manners."


Rylie laughed as she said "oh Ms. Los Angeles finally speaks to me!"


"Only to call you out on your bullshit."


Rebel laughed as she said "you are a little white trashy..."


"Hey Boxxie, I don't think i asked for your opinion."


Rebel laughed as she said "the minute I get my hands on an aerosol can you better check under your bed."


"The minute I get a bow or a gun or an elastic band and a paper clip you better watch your *vulgarity*ing back!"


Edith piped up a little as she said "technically I don't need to eat...."


Lucy shoved Edith as she said "hey you need to stand up for yourself!"


Rylie shot a look back at Lucy as she said "hey if ironing board no tits there wants to give me her garlic bread you don't need to butt in."


Lucy rolled her eyes as she said "hey do you get off on making lame insults or is it like a mental deficiency you have."


Rebel snorted as she shoved spaghetti into her mouth "she is wearing an OFWGKTA t-shirt so yeah I'd say she's stupid."


"EXCUSE ME! Tyler the Creator is the greatest! GOLF WANG! GOLF WANG!"


"Would you all just SHUT UP!" Oleander slammed her palms down on the table as the room suddenly went quiet. "If you guys are done bickering like a bunch of school girls at a lunch table maybe we can put our collective minds together and figure out why we're here." Everyone stared at Oleander as she sat back down when the door opened to their small dining room.


"She's asking to see you five. Let's get to it."


Rylie screamed as she said "damn it I still have meatballs."


The five girls followed their escorts as Rylie picked at the mechanical collar around her neck. Rebel shot a look to her and said "I hope that's some sort of Battle Royale collar and it blows your ass up."


"Hey, Hayley Williams, the feeling is mutual."


Edith sort of looked at the floor as she said "it is somewhat disconcerting we have these on. DARIA any completion on the analysis?"


"They are radio controlled but do not contain explosives."


The five girls were escorted to a large War Room where the old woman sat in a large swivel chair. She turned around and shooed off the guards as she looked at the girls. "One of you have met me but most of you have not." As she said this she looked over at Oleander. "My name is Olga Petrov but you may call me The Gardener."


Rylie laughed as she said "that's gotta be the dumbest.."


Strange gurgling sounds emitted from Rylie's mouth as Olga grabbed her by the throat and lifted her in the air. "I never had to actually say this rule as most people learn it in life but no one talks while I talk and I will not talk while you're speaking. Got it red?" She threw Rylie down on the ground as she returned to pacing about.


"You are all being offered a position. For you see you're all girls with specific talents. Driving, Explosives, Marksmanship, Martial Arts, Science. Practical talents needed to covert operations, dirty special operatives or just *vulgarity*ing some shit up in sectors of the world people dare not enter. The Wicked Garden has existed for decades doing the dirty work even the deepest darkest pits of government, corporations and even secret societies dare not deal with."


Lucy looked over Olga as she said "what's in it for us? I don't do jobs pro bono."


"You know last I checked none of you girls are particularly moral. Why in this room alone we have charges for assault, grand larceny, reckless driving, vandalism, terrorism and yes murder." The last charge caused the girls to all look at each other as Olga continued. "Considering we're in deep with the government and law enforcement we can guarantee full pardons on current and future offenses should you remain with the time for the rest of your life."


Rylie picked at her teeth as she said "and what if we feel we've been doing a good enough job avoiding unsavory types till you came a long?"


Olga chuckled as she replied "we found you, what makes you think we can't tell those who want to find you how to?"


Oleander stepped forward as she said "well I guess we don't have much of a choice now do we?"


"I guess not."


All the girls shifted as they stood there, thoughts running through their heads as Oleander said "ok, I'm in."


Edith spoke to herself as she asked "what do you think DARIA?"


"We better comply" DARIA replied as Edith stepped forward. "We're... I mean I'm good to go."


Rebel looked around before saying "yeah I'm probably the most dicked out of all of you. So I'm good."


Lucy sighed as she said "I'll be able to continue my stunt work?"


"Unless we call upon you."


Lucy said "ok we're good."


Rylie shrugged her shoulders as she said "well looks like we're the new hottest girl group around. Let's do this I guess."


Oleander felt the uneasiness around the girls as she looked at Olga "so we have a mission."


"Not an official one. You see the group is still a little incomplete. I'm looking to recruit one more." Olga pointed to the video screen behind her as a photo of a girl with a baseball bat appeared on screen.


Edith looked as she asked "whats her name?"


"Precisely, Penelope Whatshername. Known vigilante and perfect fit for you miscreants. Now go finish your dinner. You'll be briefed in the morning."


The girls started to file out of the war room as Olga yelled out "oh by the way. Welcome to the Wicked Garden."

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  • 1 month later...

True, true. But whenever I read something by you or Treach or many of the other FPLers, the mistakes aren't quite as prolific. Kate and Nihlium make errors in enough volume that it distracts from the work.

They're both very good writers. Their characters and stories are strong, but they both need to work on editing.

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I see them in your stuff, in Treach's, in Deo's and Darkender's etc. Whenever I actually manage to make myself write something, there are indeed mistakes there as well. I can easily gloss over a couple mistakes. But it really looks like these two do the draft and just let it fly.

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