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Welcome folks! This is Marvel's Corner! Today I bring some sad news. This is my last soccer post for a while... But wait, that isn't the bad news. The bad news is that the Gold Cup Final occurred. And, well, check it out... --------------------------------------------------------- Today's Topic: The Gold Cup Final THE GOLD CUP: CONCLUSION Well, the tournament progressed like everyone knew it would. The two superpowers of North America met last Saturday. The proud, valiant USA met the powerful and confident Mexico. It was the Mexican-American War Part: II. USA was going to send Stonewall Jackson, General Lee, and a bunch of other Civil War guys, kick some booty, and take a whole bunch of land. Or, as Hollywood has shown us, we could simply send in Larry the Cable Guy.Â Sadly, it was not meant to be. Just like the usual American digestive system when confronted by a spicy Mexican dinner, the USA national team put up a good fight but ended up in extreme pain.Â The game started well though. A couple minutes in, Bradley scored a great header. Bradley, by the way, is the son of the USA soccer team's coach. The USA Coach, looks like this: See if you can spot his son: Heheh.Â Anyways, a few minutes later, Donovan, the USA's most impressive player, delivered an impressive goal. That's right, minutes into the match, USA was winning 2-0. 2-0! In an MMA fight, that would be like one guy breaking both of the other guy's arms.Â But then, it all came down. Crashing down like some sort of modern Bay of Pigs invasion. In spectacular fashion, Mexico clawed their way back, scoring two goals and tying the game up before half time.Â Although the USA started the second half with heart, the Mexican team quickly ripped that heart out and ate it with a side order of beans and rice. Two more goals later, and it was all over. The last goal, in particular, was, even though scored by Mexico, great soccer at work.Â Highlights:Â http://losangeles.sbnation.com/2011/6/26/2245121/usa-vs-mexico-2011-gold-cup-final-highlights I hope you guys check out the highlights. It was a good tournament, but in the end, it wasn't meant to be. Mexico takes the Gold Cup down south... That's it for today. This is Marvel Man, signing off.Â Until next time, Excelsior!Â
Ladies and Gentlemen! This is Marvel's Corner! Today I dive into one of the hardest jobs on the Internet (and by job, I actually mean volunteering. I have yet to be paid!). The job? Working on the Electric Ferret Site, as an Official Reviewer. Yes. Every little secret, from the end of the year parties, to the staff only section of the site. If you dislike having your mind blown, don't read this blog! --------------------------------------------------------- Today's Topic: Working for serge! Okay, first up, a quick Q&A from my audience: Q. There are people who work on the EF site?! Treacherous, after a hard Monday morning. A. Yes. The Electric Ferret site is run by a small army of administrators, moderators, and of course, reviewers. And by army, I mean maybe twenty people (tops). Q. Sweet! How much do you guys get paid? A. Oh, serge doesn't pay anyone. Or, if he does, he only pays in "That nice feeling you get for volunteering" currency. But then again, who wants money? Aren't the best things in life free? So the EF Staff's labor must be the best! Q. If you aren't paid, why do you work for the EF? A. I can't answer this for everyone, but I know why I work for serge. He defeated me in battle, but spared my life. As payment, I agreed to come to his site and help review the endless stream of characters. Q. Yeah... This isn't mindblowing in any way. I'm gonna go see Tarvius's blog... A. Wait! He doesn't have any posts up yet. Please stay. I'm about to move onto what I actually do in my small corner of the EF. Don't you want to know about how we pick characters to review, and what not? Q. I'm not really sure I should be answering questions. I am, after all, the Q... A. Anyways... Let's move on: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Time: 6 PM Alright, after a hard day of sleeping, reading comics for free at my nearby comic book shop (the trick is to find a quiet secluded spot), and another failed attempt at finding the Cash Cab, I log onto the EF website. At this point, I check to see if any of my questions in the bug forum have been answered (They aren't), before browsing the other CBUB threads. Time: 6: 15 PM Having posted my unique brand of Marvel related humor in as many topics as I could, I then browse through the other sections of the forum. The Artsy one, the Electricferret one, and the RP one. Whenever I have to get to the Image section, I quickly scroll past the FPL section (I usually close my eyes and/or hope that the screams of failed writers won't haunt my dreams all night). Time: 6:20 PM At this point, there's not much more to do on the forums. This is when the guilt begins to set in. Guilt from my inbox (yes, I realize I should clean that out; as long as I have three free spaces for messages, I won't), and guilt from my many projects. The RPs that died under my eyes. The FPL character that still resides in the deepest part of my Microsoft Word folder. Etc. Rocked to my core by all this guilt, I meditate on what to do. Time: 6:21 PM Having gotten over my guilt, I realize that there is still something I can do. I can review characters! Haven't done it in weeks. Still, I'm sure there's one or two characters waiting approval. I need to help out. Time: 6:25 PM Four minutes later, and I have filled out the twelve forms required to access Reviewer Controls. I attatch a copy of my birth certificate (as usual), to an email, then sign in with my thirteen letter password. I am then transported to the secret EF Control Room. Time: 6:30 PM Here, I brought my camera to the EF Base. Check it out: The "serge" Room: As usual, the room is empty. Still, to speed up his imminent return, there is a stack of cash sitting in the chair (sometimes this causes serge to return). The Moderator Room: I usually run into Tarvius here. He doesn't seem to be here today. The Review Room: As usual, the room is completely empty. I rarely run into another Reviewer. Also, I see that Tarvius and his fellow Moderators are still trashing the Reviewer Room (they always remind us how we're not really "On the EF staff"). I can tell it's Tarvius by the lack of graffiti, which, if present, indicates that a rogue Admin got bored. Admin Room: Speaking of Admins, check it out! I finally got in. Well, not "in" in. But hey, that twenty bucks I gave the bouncer was so worth it. I wonder what it's like when the Admins are in here... Time: 7:15 PM Okay, time to get to work. Having had my fun, I go back into the Review Room. Wading through the trash and empty pizza boxes, I reach my desk. A quick prayer to Stan Lee, and an even quicker kiss to the picture of Olvia Wilde I have on desk later, and I am ready to work. This greets me (from today!) 900 Pictures???!!! Over 100 characters?! What?! Time: 7:20 PM Being the biased guy I am, I naturally check the Comic section first. After checking links here, and stating why that character is being denied there, I move onto the odd section. The Pop Culture one. Here, I find Goths being submitted. Why? After a quick click on all the links, I ask myself what type of matches need Goths? I mean, this is the CBUB! We want interesting fights! Action! Feeling uneasy about the character, I leave it there for other gutsier Reviewers. I then switch to reviewing images. Time: 9:00 PM After a hard hour and a half of work, I check on my progress. To my dismay, there are still tons of images! Why?! Enraged, I head off to YouTube to watch cute cat videos. Ah.... This is what life is all about... ... I will probably review more stuff tomorrow... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- That's it for today. This is Marvel Man, signing off. Until next time, Excelsior!
Welcome to Marvel's Corner! It's Women History Month, and you all know what that means. I need female readers. How do I do that on such a male dominated site? Good looks? Add an advice column? Chocolates? Well, I went with the second choice... ------------------------------------------ Today's Topic: Dear Marvel Man Alright, like I said, March is Women History Month. That's when we celebrate all the great things women do. Without women, who would cook our food, clean our homes, etc? ... Wait... ... Really? Well, my female assistant, Marvel Chick, is informing me that I'm a bias male. Women have had great moments, blah, blah... I really need to close the door to my office. Hey, look at this! Haha! Oh, that's better...Â Anyways, where was I? Oh yes. I need to appeal to women. This is harder than most people think. Specially on a site like Electric Ferret. Not only that, but I'm unable to use my good looks on the Internet. Or buy cheap chocolates & flowers! Women's kryptonite... I mean, a nice gift to give a beautiful girl... I only have words to help me! It was at this point that I came up with two great ideas. I will use both. Naturally, the first step in my plan to attract a female fanbase, was get a hunky assistant. One who has no problems over posting pictures of himself over the Internet. So, I called up some friends of mine from my modeling days, and got a few guys to pose. I'll introduce them later.Â My second idea was an Advice Column. These columns are places for women (and sensitive men) to ask for advice. This is usually provided by another similar woman (or sensitive man). I hear women dig em', and many Pro-Female sites have adapted them.Â At least, that's what Wikipedia tells me.Â Anyways, my next problem was finding people to give advice to. Lacking any female fans, I quickly realized that I needed outside help. A quick google search (Ha! Another plug. Advertising money is sweet indeed. ) brought Mrs. Webb. She's an actual advice columnist, who gets tons of emails per day. http://www.dearmrsweb.com/index.htmÂ Interested, I checked some of her responses.Â I became sick instantly.Â These people must be desperate to turn to Mrs. Webb. She's nice and all, but these suggestions won't help anyone! They need a guy they can trust. Someone like Marvel Man! And so, Dear Marvel Man, was born. Right now I'll start by helping Mrs. Webb's readers, but I hope to get PMs from actual EF users one day. Anyways, let's begin. What is the first question James? Webb, you're mad. If anyone's right here, it's definetly the wife. Lady, this is your special day, not hers. Stand up to her now, or she'll undermine your authority forever.Â What You Should Do: I think you should hide in her garbage for a few days and wait until she goes out by herself. Knock her out then quickly take her to a well guarded spot. Demand that she apologize for your hurt feelings or be forced to watch a full season of "Howie Do It". Altough, that might be too much.Â However, I must agree with the Mother-In-Law on one thing. Barbecue's the way to go. Anyways, good luck on the wedding. Next Ricardo. Â Webb, this is madness. She wants advice, not a lecture.Â What You Should Do: Host a special dinner and invite the boss and co-worker. Convince all to participate in a special scavenger hunt. These items will be the stolen property.Â While this is going on, take your friend to an isolated spot (filled with cameras and microphones), and ask him to explain the situation again. As soon as you get what you need, hit him with a strong sleeping agent and pull his body back to the party.Â By now, the items should've been found, and you're boss should be suspicious. Surprise everyone by showing them the video you just filmed. Â Take advantage of the moment and ask for a raise. Webb, what is this?! Tell this kid to stop being selfish and move on.Â What You Should Do: Kid, if you want her to remember you, do something crazy. Throw her a surprise birthday party (not on her birthday) and have all the guests show up dressed up as fruits & vegetables.Â Or, you could encourage her and be a pillar of support. Whichever works for you. Next Frank.Â Â Webb, have you ever been to a Baby Shower? No seriously, have you? Cause being a guy prevents me from going to one... What You Should Do: Oh, I don't know... Uh... Get a large cardboard stand-in for her? Then proceed to do whatever women do at such gatherings (which I imagine include a few rounds of gossiping, followed by a bathroom break, and then a long reading out-loud from the latest Twilight/Nicholas Spark Novel) Make sure you get plenty of pictures though.Â Anyways, another idea would be to go to her location, since y'know, you are her mother, and she is having a baby! Anyways, that's it for this week's Dear Marvel Man. PM me your letters, or just ask away in the comments. This is Marvel Man, signing off. Excelsior! Â