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Youâ€™d think being a space cop would come with a bigger reward than a pat on the back and a â€œjob well doneâ€, in Guyâ€™s case come with more than a lecture every time you get your job done. And youâ€™d think those blue midgets had some sort of interplanetary currency, good on any planet, so they could actually PAY the Lanterns for the work they do. But nope, just they sit in their fancy little tower, with their stupid little robes, and remind Guy thatâ€™s his ego and recklessness endangered the mission, despite the fact that Guy did better than any other frikkinâ€™ Lantern on the mission. Since lectures donâ€™t pay bills, or put food of the table, or pay your medical expenses after you just went 9 blasted rounds with an entire fleet of Red Lanterns, Guy had to find himself a day job; a day job with medical benefits. He wanted to go back to his old job, gym teacher, but it seems most schools consider the possibly of â€œalien enemies raining down lasers like hell fire and kidding children in a desperate attempt to settle old scores with the space cop who stopped their plans,â€ a liability and donâ€™t want to â€œendanger the childrenâ€. But, there was one school just careless, crazy, or desperate enough to take their chances on Guy. And so, Guy started his first day as Mr. Gardner. Pulling into the parking lot, he found himself actually excited to be working with kids again. â€œWould you like at that, I even got myself a parking space,â€ he said, â€œFinally, some bosses who appreciate me.â€ Stepping out of the car, he was greeted with, â€œMorning Mr. Gardner.â€ â€œGood morning principle,â€ he replied. â€œI see you drove,â€ said the principle, adjusting his tie and straightening his glasses. â€œWell yeah, what else was I supposed to do? Fly here like a big green beacon, yelling to everyone, â€˜Hey if you ever had a problem with a GL in the past, thereâ€™s one headed to this school full of innocent middle school kidsâ€™? â€˜Cause I didnâ€™t think that was the best idea, do you?â€ â€œWell, noâ€¦ Good thinking there.â€ â€œWhat can I say? Iâ€™m practically a freaking genius.â€ â€œGlad to hear you say that. A genius like you wouldnâ€™t happen to want to chaperone a field trip to science expo, would you?â€ â€œScience expo? Uh, doesnâ€™t really sound like my thing. Besides, I got a class to teach.â€ â€œWell, yes, technically. But you see our usual science teacher got sick, and I figured since P.E. is a much less important class, we could cancel it today while you go on the trip.â€ Guy took a second to himself. Not important? Not important? In a world with an obesity epidemic P.E. wasnâ€™t important? What kid couldnâ€™t benefit from a little exercise, all while learning how to work and play as a team? Itâ€™s attitudes like this that are making sure our kids grow into out of shape losers who die of heart attacks at the age of 30. But Guy didnâ€™t say that. He was already on thin ice being a Green Lantern. He had to make a good impression. So he turned his scowl into a smile, as best he could, and said, â€œYeah, sure, Iâ€™ll go on the field trip; since you couldnâ€™t just higher a sub or anything.â€ â€œWell, you see, it was so last minute thatâ€¦.â€ â€œSave it, I said Iâ€™ll go, geez.â€ The expo went alright. There were some neat new gadgets, but most were unimpressive after dealing with so many intergalactic freaks. After an hour into the show, Guy had enough and decided it was time to excuse himself to the rest room, leaving the kids in the hands of their parents and guardians who were able to come along on the field trip. On his way back, some bozo in a lab coat turned a corner sharp, bumped into Guy, and dropped a briefcase. â€œHey! Watch where youâ€™re going!â€ Guy snapped â€œOh, no, oh no,â€ the guy muttered, dropping to his hands and knees and opening his briefcase. â€œHey buddy, you could at least say youâ€™re sorry.â€ The scientist opened the briefcase, releasing some sort of smoke. He pulled out a pile of papers, each one with a hole burnt, or being burnt into it, â€œNo, my work, my research!â€ â€œEnough!â€ Guy said and stepped on the lid to the briefcase, closing it, and almost taking the manâ€™s hand off. â€œWhat are you doing?â€ The man asked, â€œI need to try and save my work!â€ â€œYeah, well I need an apology.â€ â€œApology?â€ The man asked, â€œYou RUINED YEARS of research. And any chance I had a saving it is DISSAPEARING because you wonâ€™t let me open the brief case.â€ â€œWhat are you talking about? I didnâ€™t ruin nothinâ€™! Youâ€™re the one who ran into me!â€ From down the hall, at the main stage, the female host called, â€œAnd next up we have Doctor Bruce Banner!â€ â€œOh no,â€ the man said, â€œThereâ€™s no time left. I needâ€¦â€ He stood quickly and started walking to the stage. Guy grabbed his shoulder, â€œLook here - Bruce! â€“ you better apologies, because Iâ€™m running out of patience.â€ â€œSo am Iâ€¦â€ Doctor Banner said. Suddenly, his muscles began to expand, his skin turned green, his cloths ripped. And in seconds, Guy was standing before a giant, hulking, monster. â€œOh, youâ€™re THAT Bannerâ€¦â€ Guy said, â€œI thought your name was David.â€ Guy was sent flying through a wall with one punch (ONE PUNCH!) and just barely had time to put his shield up. Pulling himself out of the wall, Guy looked at the Hulk right before he screamed and said, â€œHULK SMASH BAD HAIRCUT MAN!â€ ------------------------------------------------ Guy Gardner vs The Hulk. Can Guy protect the kids, and the rest of the innocent people? Can Guy calm the Hulk down and get his apology? Will Guy keep his job??
In another multi-verseâ€¦ 11/02/12 The Beast was scarfing down some roast beef. Centuries later and still, the Beast had not broken the spell. It was more savage and uncivilized than it had been centuries ago, as well as more depressed. He had lived as an immortal Beast for over 600 years, but all those 600 years, he had the same nightmareâ€¦one that no matter how powerful he was, he never had the strength to shake awayâ€¦ ** â€œGET OUT!!!â€ The Beast bellowed at the beautiful brunette woman for intruding in the West Wing. â€œWhere are you going?â€ asked Lumiere. â€œAnywhereâ€™s better than here!â€ cried Belle. Belle had had enough. Despite these unusual servants who had told her again and again, â€œHeâ€™s not a bad guyâ€, it was, without a shadow of a doubt, too hard for her to believe. Belle rode on her steed as fast as she could through the cold winds of the world outside of the Beastâ€™s gargantuous castle. Finally, she fell off. When the Beast arrived, he saw some wolves walking off, their heads turned away from him. He saw two things that completely shocked him. He saw a horse with gaping, yet empty eyes, and some huge tears in his stomach, where he could see that some flesh had been torn out of him. But the second thing he saw was worst of all. It was Belle. Her limbs had been torn apart and dark red blood was stained at her mouth. Her eyes, once beautiful, were now pale and lifeless. Her clothes torn almost completely apart. The Beast loudly roared in shock at the sight of the woman as his last hope that had been stripped from him by this cold pack of wolves. * * The Beast was savoring his large dinner. But it wouldnâ€™t last long. Dr. Bruce Banner walked into this ancient castle on this freezing cold night. He was relieved to have finally found some shelter, still living his days with â€œthat monsterâ€ inside him. And not having a shirt to wear didn't make things any easier for him He walked upstairs and found himself a very soft bedroom. Desperate for some rest, he rolled into the bed and immediately, his eyes got heavier, and heavier, until he had fallen asleep. But then he woke up with a start. The door burst open and the Beast roared at him loudly. â€œWhy did you come here?â€ asked the Beast. Bruce rolled out of the bed and backed away. â€œWhat the hell are you? Get away from me!â€ cried Bruce as he ran out the hole where the door had been. Bruce ran hastily down the stairs, but the Beast made chase. As Bruce made it down the last step, the Beast made one last jump and tackled him. â€œYOU WILL STAY OUT OF MY CASTLE!!â€ it cried. â€œPlease! Donâ€™t make me angry! You donâ€™t wanna know whatâ€™s inside!â€ Bruce had warned the Beast too late. Thus, his skin turned into a dark green hue and his shirt and pants were torn to shreds. The Hulk bellowed with an astounding amount of rage: â€œFURRY MAN LEAVE HULK ALONE!!â€