THE FOLLOWING IS AN UNAIRED EPISODE OF SESAME STREET.
FOR REASONS UNCLEAR, THE FOOTAGE ABOUT TO BE SHOWN WAS ALTERED BEFORE IT’S ORIGINAL BROADCAST AND WAS CUT BY THE NETWORK.
THE ONLY REMAINING RECORD OF THIS EPISODE IS A VHS TAPE FOUND BY DEEP SEA FISHERMEN IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN.
VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
Sunny yah'or'nanah, sweeping clouds mglagln
llll ya way l' ahagl air ah sweet
Ahor ymg' ai ya ahh l' get, ahh l' get l' sesame street?
ahh l' get l' sesame street…
What’s the Word on The Street?
Murray Monster appears in what looks to be a busy New York City intersection. He turned the camera and laughs, followed by his opening line:
“Hi, I’m Murray from Sesame Street. And I’m looking for…
“..The Word on the Street!”
Murray snaps his muppet fingers and appears next to a well-dressed pedestrian walking the crosswalk between fifth avenue and 23rd street. “What’s the word on the street?” Murray asks.
“Get lost,” the pedestrian replies, continuing his power walk to somewhere important.
Murray stands in shock as dozens of New Yorkers pass him by without a single thought. When had New York become so rude? He wonders.
“But I… still need to know what’s the word on the street,” Murray says to the camera, defeated.
Another pedestrian on the crosswalk stops behind Murray. He is clad in a hooded robe that obscures his face.
“Eldritch,” he says, voice deep.
Murray hollers in surprise, nearly jumping out of his own fur. “Oh, I didn’t see you there.”
Murray turns to face him, but the figure doesn’t move or respond further. Murray tilts his head in question, then finally asks, “What was that word you said?”
“Well, that’s a word I’ve never heard before,” Murray says to the camera. How often do I get to learn a new word?
“What is Eldritch?” Murray asks.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you.”
“H' ah nog”
The hooded figure walks away, leaving more questions than answers.
Murray snaps his fingers. He needs to know more about this word, Eldritch.
The camera switches over to Murray interviewing a little girl. “What does Eldritch mean?”
The girl responds with a nervous shrug, grabbing her mother’s hand and walking away.
Murray walks a bit further down to find a boy sitting on a park bench. He asks the same question but the boy just responds with, “Sounds scary.”
The camera focuses back on Murray alone. “Does anyone know what this word means?”
“I do,” says a voice.
Murray turns to see the voice belongs to Mr. Snuffleupagus, who saunters forward into the frame.
“Oh, Mr. Snuffleupagus, you know what the word ‘Eldritch’ means?”
“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I? Ha ha.”
Snuffy looks directly at the camera. “It means that something is weird, terrifying, or inspires fear.”
Murray considers this, then asks, “So… Like something spooky?”
Murray looks to the camera with a wide grin as if he’s gained some vital piece of knowledge. The camera pans left, now showing Murray walking down the street wearing his own hooded cloak.
“Eldritch… That’s the word on the street!”
The Adventures of Super Grover
Announcer: Presenting the further adventures of everybody's favorite hero! The man who's faster than lightning, stronger than steel, smarter than a speeding bullet. It's... Super Grover!
Super Grover bursts through a wall bearing his crest, he tries and fails to adjust his helmet off his eyes. "And I am cute, too!"
Announcer: And now, on to our story.
“Yes! On to our story!”
Announcer: We begin with Super Grover flying high above his beloved city. Oh, but what is this? A cry for help!
“Oh, a cry for help!”
Announcer: Super Grover should go and see if he can help.
“Hmm, I know. Super Grover should go and see if he can help. Yes. That’s what I should do.”
The camera pans down to a muppet child crying himself to sleep. Super Grover crashes through the roof of his bedroom and collides to the floor.
Startled and teary-eyed, the boy asks Super Grover if he’s okay.
Super Grover jumps up to his feet. “Of course I’m okay!” He approaches the boy, who continues to cry. “Now tell me, little boy, why do you cry? Are you hurt?”
“No, I’m not hurt,” the boy sobs, his muppet lip quivering. “I just...had a bad dream!”
“Oh, a bad dream it is?”
The boy nods.
“Well. Good thing I came when I did. Where is this dream? I’ll show him--” Super Grover flings his muppet fists around as if he were ready to fight.
“No, no, Super Grover. A dream isn’t a bad guy. A dream is like a movie that plays in your head while you’re asleep.”
“A movie? What? What was this movie about?” Super Grover asks.
“I... I don’t remember. When I woke up, it was like it never happened. I just had this feeling like I was in a deep ocean. And, you know, I don’t like octopuses, Super Grover.”
Grover nods, listening attentively.
“Well,” the boy continues, “I felt like there was an octopus at the bottom of the ocean and he wanted to get me!”
Super Grover stares at the child then sits next to him on his bed. “Little boy. Let me tell you something that Super Grover just learned.”
“What is that?”
“Little boys should not watch scary movies.”
“Yes,” Super Grover gets off the bed. “Scary movies make boy cry. So, if you don’t watch the dream, then--”
“It’s not a real movie, Super Grover. It just felt like it. But it wasn’t real.”
“Then why you call it a movie? Listen boy, I am a superhero and I’m trying to help--”
“Because movies and dreams, well, they aren’t real.” The boy wipes his eyes and looks at the camera… Then smiles. “Hey, that’s right. They aren’t real. It was just my imagination!”
“What are you talking about, little boy?”
“It’s okay, Super Grover. I’m not afraid anymore. Thanks anyway!”
“Nowholdonwaitaminutelittleboy--” Super Grover’s frustration is ignored as the boy lays back down in his bed and the camera fades to black.
Number of the Day
Count Von Count stalks the halls of his castle. He notices the camera and appears surprised.
“Oh, you are here? I’m so glad! Welcome to my castle!”
He flings his cape as he continues his stride down the spooky halls.
“You have come at a wonderful time, ha ha! I’m looking for the Number of the Day!” He leans into the camera. “I haven’t found it in quite some time. So I might need some help on where to look. Perhaps we can get our friends to help as well, yes!”
The Count gives his signature laugh as he exits his castle. The camera cuts to him arriving at 123 Sesame Street. The camera pans up the building, showing that most of the windows are broken and the front doors and completely gone, replaced with red stains and yellow feathers.
The Count walks over the threshold and sees a muppet on the floor. Red smears where yellow used to be. He looks to the screen, “One friend. Ah…”
Continuing on, he finds that the building is in further disarray. Holes litter the walls. Ripped apart furniture is tossed across the first floor. At the base of the stairs, Count Von Count finds Bert and Ernie, their bodies twisted together like wet rags.
“Two… Three friends. Ah… ah.”
Count Von Count steps over them to go upstairs, waving for the camera to follow.
On the second floor, the camera pans a large room. The Count remembers being here with his friends, looking at the now broken table where Cookie Monster sat, eating toast that wasn’t his.
Looking over at the now shattered window where the little boy, Javi, got scared. “Five.”
The chairs that Elmo, Grover, and Rosita once sat in. “Six, Seven… Eight.”
The camera lingers on The Count. There is silence. Nothing but a cold breeze.
The Count looks to the camera. “Ah, what could that be?” Another thud comes from above. “It must be coming from the roof.”
Count Von Count levitates to the roof of 123 Sesame Street. He sees that the sky has turned a dark shade of blue. Lightning slices through the air, striking the roof. No roars of thunder. No scorch marks. The camera pans to a pale green circle of light situated in the middle of the roof.
Abby Cadabby stands with her back to the Count. She turns to face him and the camera. Dark shadows circle her eyes as if she hasn’t slept in days. In her muppet hands, she holds a large book with a cover and spine that looks less of leather or felt and more like child’s skin or seaweed.
Count Von Count stumbles over his numbers… “E... Eight.”
“What?” Abby asks.
“The Number of the Day… is Eight. Ah…”
Lightning strikes the middle of the pale green circle, knocking both Abby and The Count off their feet. The book tumbles out of Abby’s grip. A bright light consumes them, then dissipates.
They climb to their feet as the camera pans to the circle. No longer green. Instead, filled with their muppet friends...
Big Bird. Cookie Monster.
Bert. Ernie. Rosita.
Super Grover. Murray. Mr. Snuffleupagus.
Even the little boy, Javi.
They were all alive. No red stains. They wore shocked expressions, but Mr. Snuffleupagus most of all.
“Abby, what have you done?” He asked.
The camera pans to the book as it teeters over the edge of the roof. Abby screams, reaching for it as another flash of lightning splits the sky.
The residents of Sesame Street shield their eyes. But the Count endures the light. He looks up to see it.
A great monster ripping at the sky. With horrible tendrils leaking down like rain and eyes too large to believe. Eyes that were locked on 123 Sesame Street.
The camera couldn’t any more, instead focusing on the Count one last time before fading to black.
Cthulhu will fully manifest inside Sesame Street in eight minutes.
The cast must seal him away at all cost. The Necronomicon is on the street below them.
Will the power of education save these beloved muppets?