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Dinsdale Piranha

CBUB Match Judges
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Everything posted by Dinsdale Piranha

  1. Tony Stark stepped out of the limousine and stared up at the colossal skyscraper which was built in the shape of a capital "L." His mouth quirked in a sardonic smile. "Are you sure about this, boss?" Happy Hogan asked, sticking his head out the driver's window. "It always gives me the willies when you meet with Luthor." "Come on, Happy," Stark replied. "This guy's so insecure he had to build this monstrosity to strone his ego. What kind of a man does that?" "Um... yeah," Happy said. "So, you'll call when you're done?" "I promise not to stay out too late, mother." Briefcase in hand, Tony entered the lobby where an attractive woman, whose chauffeur's livery was tailored to show off her splendid legs met him. "Mr. Stark," she said. "Welcome to Lexcorp Tower." She led tony to an express elevator that went straight to the penthouse. He took a long, admiring look at her at the car rose. "Is there something I can help you with?" "I was just admiring your boss's sense of a dress code," Tony said. "I'm almost tempted to borrow the idea, but I don't think my driver could really pull it off." Despite herself, the woman smirked. "Ah!" Tony said. "I think I've made a dent in Lex's impervious security." "I beg to differ, Mr. Stark." "You can call me Tony, Ms... I'm afraid I didn't catch your name." "Mercy." "Really?" he raised his eyebrows. "I wouldn't think your boss would approve. He's more the type to have an assistant named 'Grimm' or something on those lines." The elevator reached the floor and the doors opened with a soft 'ping.' "I'll leave you here," Mercy said. "The next will be arriving any time and Mr. Luthor is waiting for you." Tony wandered into Lex Luthor's private quarters, glancing at the expensive ojets d'art that filled it. He pushed through a door into the library where the bald executive rose to greet him. "Tony!" he said in a voice like a tiger's purr, "I'm so glad you could come. Would you like a drink?" He went to the bar and opened a bottle of scotch and poured a little into each of two glasses. "None for me," Tony said. "Really? But it's a '37 Glendfiddich, you really can't pass up an opportunity to taste it." Tony shook his head and said nothing. "Ah, that's right," Luthor said with mock sympathy. "You've had a bit of a hard time with alcohol, haven't you? Well, I suppose some men run from their weaknesses while others rise above them." He tossed back his drink and smiled. "Speaking of rising above things," Tony said. "You've really done that here. Your big L has got to be the tallest building in Metropolis. You ought to build another just like it so people can see your initials from space." "I'm hardly the only one who has a tower built for him." "True, but the Stark Tower uses the latest in green technology. It's cutting edge technology... though I know that's not your big thing." "Come, come, Tony. You sound bothered. Is your ego hurt because my building's taller than yours?" "If we're talking skyscrapers," came a voice from the door, "Mine's taller than either of yours, and it's got a castle on it." The two turned to see a tall man with a van dyke beard and a pony tail entering. "Tony," he said nodding, "Lex." "David," Luthor said. "Tony and I were just--" "Discussing how we all have ediface complexes," Tony interrupted. David Xanatos chuckled and his eyes came to rest on the drink Luthor had poured for Stark. "Do you mind?" he asked, raising the glass. "Please," Tony said. Xanatos shallowed the whiskey and smiled contentedly. "That's a '39 Glenfiddich, if I'm not mistaken. That makes me think, I've got a Dalmore 64 Trinitas at home, I should have brought it." Lex's jaw tightened at the mention of a liquor even more extravagantly over priced than his. He was about to say something when the door opened again and Mercy entered with a dark-haired man with a square jaw. "Ah, Bruce," Luthor said and there were traces of venom in his tiger's purr voice. I see that our little group is complete. "Thanks for inviting me," Bruce Wayne replied. If there was any hostile emotion below the surface of his words, it was masterfully hidden. "David, Tony, good to see you both." The four of them took seats around the round table and Mercy took the fifth seat. She drew a new deck of cards from a drawer and began to shuffle them expertly. "Gentlemen," she said, "The game is Texas hold 'em. Ante up, please." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Four of the sharpest minds, the deepest pockets, and the most formidable egos have gathered for no limits Monday night poker. There won 't be any punches thrown or armor donned tonight. Cheating is possible, but only if the culprit can sneak it past the sharp eyes and technological safeguards of the others. Who will be the big winner tonight?
  2. Got it, and thanks! I just submitted... Daimajin Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter Super Goof I tried to submit Maciste but ran into something I don't know how to deal with. He is an Italian silent film character who I cannot find a copyright holder for. It looks as if the company that made the original movies has long since folded. Several Italian companies used the character in their films in the 1960s but none appear to acknowledge a copyright holder. I believe that this character, who was created before 1925 is in the public domain but don't know how to plug that into your system.
  3. Gotcha. Any I suspect Dskillz is right about Baloo being a sloth bear. With all that taken into account, I (reluctantly) have to give it to Gaston. Too bad it wasn't a dance-off. They'd have been more closely matched.
  4. In that case, I think this will go to Arthur and co, but it will be a hard and (is always the case with vampires) bloody battle. Too bad Galahad had ascended. Since he's effectively a walking manifestation of holyness, he would have made this a curb stomp.
  5. I voted for the Six, simply because Slade is so badly outnumbered. They're by the water, which gives him a chance to short-circuit Electro's powers and possibly even disperse Sandman's body. Electro will be relatively easy but Sandman will take a lot of effort and focus. It's hard to see Chameleon making much of a difference in this fight, but Mysterio's illusions can disorient Slade enough to put him off of his game, and not even Deathstroke can afford that with the likes of Doc Ock and Sandman coming at him from every direction. Doc in particular has shown that he's almost impossible to avoid, even for a foe with superhuman reflexes. It's be a hard fight anyway, but all this will give Kraven the time to analyze Slade's style and plan an appropriate trap. Deathstroke has the potential to beat any of his foes, possibly even any combination of two or three, but six is just too much, even for him.
  6. Professor Shropshire of Miskatonic University stopped to wipe the sweat off his brow. He had brought his team of graduate students all the way from Massachusetts to this remote region of the former Sovuet Union because of an old parchment that some absent minded cultist had used as a bookmark in a recently donated copy of the Necronomicon. It told him that--when the stars were right--great Cthulhu would rise, not out of the ocean but from the Volga river. The professor figured that the summit of nearby Bald Mountain would be the perfect place from which to observe this sanity shattering spectacle. "Professor!" a student named Wilhelmina Whately said, running up to him. "There's a problem!" "What is it?" Shropshire asked. "Someone's already here!" The professor followed the loathsome Miss Whately further up the mountain to a place where a group of black robed people had gathered to sing shuddersome chants and frolic in blasphemous revelry. "Excuse me!" the professor shouted. "I need to speak to whoever is in charge here!" After a moment a short, pale man with a thin mustache stepped away from the throng and approached him. "I am Boris," the man said. "I am not evil cultist. How can I help?" "I'm leading a scientific expedition, and you people are in our way!" "We have permit to be here," Boris replied. "What on earth are you doing here?" the professor demanded. "We are... boy scout troop on field trip," Boris replied. At that moment a tall, thin, and extremely pale woman left the dangers to join the pair. "Boris, dahlink," she said. "Come back to ritual. Is almost time for Chernabog to rise from nether regions and consume world." "I thought you said you were a boy scout troop!" the professor said. Boris shrugged sheepishly. "Eh-- Boy scouts very progressive these days." "We'll you'll just have to raise your diabolic god some other time," the professor said. "Great Cthulhu is set to rise tonight and--" The professor trailed off as the shrieks of specters and fiends were unleashed from the depths of hell to wheel and cavort in dark celebration. The upper slopes of the mountain seemed to unfurl like a colossal set of bat-wings and Chernobog, the god of darkness towered over them in all his satanic majesty. "Look, Natasha," Boris said. "Is good!" But at that moment the professor heard a horrible sound, like great sucking footsteps from beneath the earth. From the depths of the river a titanic form rose that was not man nor squid nor dragon but some unholy and near amorphous blending of the three. "It's Cthulhu!" the professor said, tittering insanely. The titanic beings glared at each other, each clearly resenting being upstaged by the other. Chernabog raised his arms and infernal flames blazed around him. Unimpressed, Cthulhu shambled forward like a moving mountain. "They're going to fight!" the professor gibbered. "Hoo boy..." Boris said.
  7. Thanks! And you're right, I lurked around here a little, way back when. BTW, by height advantage, I meant he was about 5" taller than Conan rather than 5" tall I figure Conan as somewhere in the 6'3"-6'5" range and Doc as about 6'9" or thereabouts.
  8. This is a great idea for a match. I want Baloo to win but fear that it might go badly for Baloo, but maybe not. If Gaston is using a modern hunting rifle, I don't think Baloo has a chance. (I'm guessing that's the case because IIRC, Storybrook is the setting for Onced Upon a Time). On the other hand, if Gaston is using a period weapon like a blunderbuss or a matchlock, Balloo's chances go way up. Assuming it's a matchlock, Gaston has only one shot with a less-than reliable weapon, and he's let his bear get way too close. I'm gonna assume, just for argument's sake, that Gaston gets off a shot and wounds baloo but that renders his firearm useless. Then it's just the ridiculously strong man with a big knife against a wounded Baloo. Baloo's not the fiercest or strongest of bears and his fight with Shere Khan showed his limitations, but he's still a bear. Another Disney character like Tarzan, or Davy Crockett (who once grinned a bear to death) can deal with that, but I don't think Gaston is quite in the same league. Also, Baloo is fighting to protect his beloved Mowgli, so he's stronger and fiercer than normal. I can't vote yet, IMO too much depends on Gaston's gun. If he has a modern rifle I'll say Gaston, if it's a matchlock, I'll say Baloo.
  9. I've submitted Vincent from Beauty and the beast (the 80s version) and The Men Who Smells Like Your Man Could Smell from Old Spice commercials. I've tried to submit Iron Monkey, but I think I'm doing something wrong. Others I'd like to add: Daimajin from the old movies and Maciste (Italian hero from silent movies) I guess I kinda skew to the obscure.
  10. I've seen a few episodes of Arrow and this version of Ollie is a highly skilled martial artist as well as an archer. There are a few gimmick arrows but they tend to be pretty basic and sparsely used. In other words, Ollie is in the peak human category rather than in the superhuman category. He could win, but that would call on him to be a lot smarter and/or better prepared than Terry. The problem is that Terry is pretty smart himself. The GA from the comics has a major experience edge on Terry, but the TV Arrow is still inexperienced (he's a green Arrow, ). The suit's tech gives Terry a decisive physical advantage in strength, speed, stealth, and perception, puls he's got coaching from Wayne if he gets in trouble. IMO, this is an easy win for the Bat.
  11. Two Questions: 1) Are the vampires vulnerable to the holy symbols of Christianity? If they are the knights will gain a nice advantage because a knight's sword doubled as his cross. 2) Do Arthur and his knights have access to the magic of Merlin and/or the Lady of the Lake?
  12. That is logical. Is it canon? Even if not, I'd be inclined to accept it because it handles a logical problem with lightsabers so well. It is logical. It does raise a question of practicality. If you have a hand held device capable of producing an output at least equal to a tokamak generator and containing it in a tiny space, there have got to be more efficient uses to put it to than making a sword. But the ways of the jedi are mysterious and I will not question them. Yes! I like the direction of this conversation. Good theoretical limits makes the discussion make a lot more sense (for me at least). Do we know anything about the materials of the Star Wars universe? I don't, but, if we knew something about the metal of the blast doors that Qui Gon cut through in Phantom Menace, it woudl tells us a lot. If a light saber takes x seconds to burn through a door made of a known metal of a known thickness it could get us a lot closer to a functioning temperature. LOL! It sounds like a tough problem just because there's some inconsistency in the comics about how hard they can hit. But, yes. I'd love to see your take on the physics and it would be useful for a discussion like this. Off Topic: I remember the DC universe having a counterpart to adamantium called (IIRC) Inertron. I remember it from old Superboy and the Legion of Superheroes issues where it was used to do things like create shackles able to hold Superboy or even cage Validus. How do you guys think inertron stacks up to adamantium? Is it possible that they;re two names for the same thing?
  13. Nope, I didn't edit anything. I did use "energy" in the second paragraph, so the confusion is understandable. And I only remembered the fact of the Beyonder breaking the shield, not the dialogue that went with it. Since it appears he warped reality, I cede the point. So Marvel is now saying that true adamantium is literally indestructible? I hope not. Defining things in such absolute terms always seems to me like they're trying to bypass those pesky laws of physics. I think I remember the demon S'ym breaking off one of an alternative universe Wolverine's claws. Was that also retconned to secondary adamantium? Since we're talking about secondary adamantium, have we seen anything that quantifies what it can and cannot stand up to? Thor's hammer or the Hulk's fists are a start but we don't have a measurement of their kinetic energy that I know of. Can it withstand nova heat? A nuclear blast? Do we know it's melting point? My guess is that even secondary adamantium has an extremely high melting point. If we arbitrarily say it's a million degrees F, then a light saber would have to generate at least that much heat to cut it. That seems unlikely because the Jedi holding the sword and anyone else in the room with him would be burnt to ashes. Of course, I'm assuming that a lightsaber cuts because of the heat it generates. If it cuts without heat somehow, that would ruin my hypothesis. Does anyone have any information?
  14. Adamantium isn't indestructible, just really, really hard to damage. When it was first intriduced in the Avengers way back when, Thor's hammer could make a small dent in a small adamantium cylinder, and a really insanely ridiculous amount of power can shatter even Captain America's shield (like the Beyonder did once.) So, the question is, can a light saber generate the necessary level of energy. While that's not quantified, it would have to be more than the Human Torch's nova blast, which is around 1,000,000 degrees F and is similar to the heat output of a thermonuclear blast. Based on what we've seen lightsabers do, I doubt they're that powerful.
  15. Announcer: Laydeeeze and Gentlemen, welcome to a trans-temporal mixed martial arts bout that will put to the test the age old debate between scientific training and surviving in a rugged environment. In this corner, the champion of the Hyborean Age, coming to us from the fog-shrouded realm of Cimmeria, Conan the Barbarian. And his opponent, that noted scientist, explorer, physical marvel and mental superman, from early 20th century New York City, Doc Savage, the Man of Bronze. This will be a no-holds barred contest in the octagon without swords, axes, knives, knock-out gas, or other weapons or gadgets of any kind. Our contestants will be limited to their strength, speed, and hand to hand fighting skills to determine a winner. Now, let's go to out commentators. Macho Man This is the Macho Man, Randy Savage (no relation) comin atcha, and my broadcast partner is a green-blooded, pointy-eared space freak from planet Whatsis. Spock: I am Spock. Macho Man: Ooooh Yeeeeeah! Spock: Mr. Savage, I believe we should give the audience a summary reference of the relative physical attributes. Macho Man: Wuzzat? Spock: I believe it is colloquially referred to as the tale of the tape. Macho Man: Yeeeeah! I gotcha Mr. Spacemen. Both of these guys are pretty big. Conan's listed as being four cubits and half a span tall and weighs in at just under four talents. Um… can you, uh, translate that rigamarole? Spock: Unfortunately, in Conan's time such measurements varied significantly from one region to another. The Shemitish cubit, for example-- Macho Man: Um, yeeeeah! That's real interesting Dr. Spot, but in the interest of movin' things alone, yeeeah, I'm gonna just eyeball it and say he's kind of in the Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Momoa range. Spock: I am not familiar with these references. Macho Man: What I'm sayin', yeeeah, is that he's a big boy, with muscles on his muscles, and he'd have gone far back in the glory days of the WWF. Ooooh yeeeah! Spock: I do not understand what his physique has to do with membership in the World Wildlife Fund. Macho Man: You just hadda go there, didn't ya? Spock: While Conan is powerfully muscled, he is also remarkably agile. He, rather illogically, attributes this to his savage upbringing far from what he terms the weakening influence of civilization. Macho Man: Yeah! He grew up in the cold and snow where there weren't no cities and he had ta fight off wolves and bears and saber-tooth tigers with your bare hands even when he was a little kid, yeah! Spock: I believe that is somewhat hyperbolic. Macho Man: Yeah! I was impressed too. Oooh Yeeah! Spock: Conan has no formal training in hand to hand combat, but his reflexes have been honed by innumerable. Macho Man: In-number-able, huh? That means that you can't count em, right? Spock: I could count them. Apparantly, Conan cannot. Macho Man: Ouch! Nice one, Mr. Ears. Oooh Yeeah! Spock: Our other fighter is Clark Savage Jr-- Macho Man: No relation. Spock: --better known by the sobriquet of Doc Savage. Macho Man: Lordy, but he's a big un, yeah! He's taller than Conan, ain't he? Spock: I would estimate him to have a height advantage of approximately 10.922 centemeters. Macho Man: He's taller than the Hulkster is, yeah, even back before his hip surgeries. I'd guess he's got a weight advantage on Conan too. Spock: I believe you are correct, though he also possesses amazing agility for a man of his weight. Macho Man: Moves like a bantam-weight and hits like a heavyweight, yeah! Spock: Savage-- Macho Man: Yeah? Spock: Doc Savage has been trained from infancy, using a scientific program of exercise, to reach the pinnacle of physical perfection. Macho Man: He could sure win a few pose-downs, yeah! Ol' Hulkster himself would be jealous of the set of pythons this guy's got, yeah! Spock: Doc has also been extensively trained in boxing, wrestling-- Macho Man: Oooh Yeeeah! Spock: --savate, jujitsu, capoeira, and a wide variety of Asian martial arts. Macho Man: All that fancy Asian dancing around ain't nothin' much, yeah! Spock: Including the skill of pinching the nerves of the neck in order to paralyze an opponent. Macho Man: Lissen, Mr. Alien, is that on the up and up? Spock: The skill is real, yes… though we do it much better on my planet. Macho Man: Oooh Yeeeah! Spock: I have learned that, if Savage wins, he will donate the prize to a fund to build a children's hospital in Africa. Macho Man: A real goody-two-shoes, huh? Spock: I believe he will be wearing regulation footgear, and it would not be logical for him to leave one foot bare. Macho Man: Huh? Well, what's Conan gonna do with the dough if he wins? Spock: I believe he said he would use it for, "A debauch of wine, women, and games of chance as has not been seen since the days of Shadizar the wicked." Macho Man: Ooooh Yeeeeah! Spock: However, Savage's scientific training and skills give him a distinct advantage. I estimate that he has an 81.458% probability of winning. Macho Man: Well, that's where we part company, yeah! Just look at Conan's eyes. That's the eye of the tiger right there, yeah! And in my book gits and instinct trumps all the hoity-toity science training in the world, yeah! Spock: We shall see shortly. The combatants have taken their places. Macho Man: Oooh Yeeeah! This is gonna be good!
  16. Gah, hit the wrong button :/ Round 2 - This is a close one. Holmes is skilled with disguise, but that trick never works in the movies. Once the chase is on he will have to outwit his pursuers. He can do this but it's not his best thing (observation and deduction) plus, he'll be distracted by his charge. Her sexy-young-thingness won't affect him, but her youth, femaleness, and (in his eyes) lack of intelligence will irritate him no end. He'll be fuming that he has to haul her around rather than have his trusty Watson by his side and it'll put him off his game a bit. Bond excels at the chase scene and this is a place where Craig-Bond is the best choice. Brosnan-Bond would do something outrageous and destructive, like hotwire a tank, and Moore-Bond would find some way to make the chase all about him, drawing a ridiculous amount of attention to his "secret" operation. Craig-Bond will kill a lot of people and cause several car wrecks, but much more subtly than his counterparts. He will also be distracted by the sexy young thing (though for completely different reasons) but will be able to shut down those feelings totally during the chase. He also has skills with driving various types of vehicles that holmes cannot match. This round also goes to Bond. Round 3 - Finally, Holmes is in his element. While he makes best use of informants and other sources of information, his computer-like mind is able to catch details most people miss and draw amazingly accurate deductions from them. He will be able to find the subtle clues that lead him to the first man in record time, and the second, and so on. More than that, Holmes will put the overall pattern together long before anyone else has a clue. Bond is no dummy, but he is nothing like a deductive genius. Bond is good at breaking up an enemy action and acquiring information and prisoners, but then he's got to have help. Without the analysts at MI-6 to point him in the right direction, he'd have a rough time. Let's face it, when he has been on his own he's mostly found the mastermind by being outrageously lucky. Bond is good at what he does, but solving mysteries ain't it. Holmes wins this round walking away. But that's only one round to Holmes and two to Bond, which makes sense. The contest was to see who would be the better secret agent/action hero. If the boys had to go deal with a giant spectral hound haunting the moor... well, that's a whole different matter.
  17. I like Holmes better (though I'd rather he looked like Benedict Cumberbatch, or Jeremy Brett, or even Basil Rathbone). If the contests had more to do with observation and mystery solving, Holmes would win by a mile. But these are action hero tests. Round 1 - In the books, Holmes' combat training consisted of amateur boxing (seen in the first Downey movie), the martial art of Baritsu (which is probably more-or-less Japanese jujitsu), fencing, and singlestick (fighting with a walking stick). Since this is the Downey version of Holmes he also has the amazing analysis that lets him stay several moves ahead of his opponent. If Holmes is an elegant and subtle fighter, Bond is what M calls him, "a blunt instrument." Craig shows this aspect better than any other actor (Connery's fight with Robert Shaw in "From Russia With Love" makes him a close second). In the books, Bond had boxed in school and was the president of the judo club. In "You Only Live Twice" he received brief but intense ninjitsu training under Tiger Tanaka. He isn't unbeatable (In "From Russia With Love" he realized he couldn't beat the powerful Red Grant in a fair fight, and has needed to resort to tricks, weapons, and ruthless tactics to beat powerful henchmen like Oddjob. In a fencing bout, a boxing match, or a judo match, I'd give Holmes a better than even chance of winning, though it would be close as both men have similar skills sets. Unfortunately for him, relentless, brutal aggression and killer instinct count for more than intelligence in a no-holds-barred fight, and Bond is too good at improvising/being unpredictable for Holmes' deductions to make up the difference. The round goes to Bond. Round 2 -
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