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HulkSmashSpammers

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About HulkSmashSpammers

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    Cannon Fodder

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  • Favorite Fiction Character
    Mario.
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    Shigeru Miyamoto, Stan Lee, James Rolfe, Douglas Darien Walker, the list goes on...

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  1. Thanks, man! And the Nerd was just having an off-day. Kyle was being a troll. He has been getting better with gaming, not as bad at least. Definitely funnier. And I can't log into that forum for some reason.
  2. AVGN was struggling against King Hippo as he played Mike Tyson's Punch-Out on his Advantage. "Come on, come on! Open your damn mouth already!" King Hippo readied his jab as he opened his mouth. The nerd dodged too late as Hippo socked Mac and depleted over half of his health bar. "*vulgarity*!! This piece of shit arcade controller's wearing out on me!!" "You're not dodging fast enough!" Said his guitarist, Kyle Justin, who was sitting right next to him. "Don't blame your controller because you suck." "*vulgarity* you! Maybe you should be behind the couch more often!" Retorted the AVGN. "IM SICK OF YOUR SHIT!!" yelled Kyle. "I HAVE A NAME! It's Kyle! And Im done guitaring your shitty-ass narcissistic theme song! I'm going out-of-state...to be a SOMEBODY! Not some four-eyed alcoholic's bitch!" Kyle smashed his guitar into the back of the Nerd's head before he could even tell him "good *vulgarity*ing luck." The Nerd was out of commission, and lay lifeless on the floor of his living room. Kyle dragged his KO'd body to the back of the couch. "My turn to play some games, before I finally embark." Said Kyle. "Feels good being the gamer for once." Kyle knocked the Hippo backwards for a KO, and a victory screen. --------- The Nerd opened his eyes to see something beyond his imagination. He saw a little boy with red hair floating in the air with angel wings, another child in a green jumpsuit and helmet, a Hispanic blonde man with a pair of goggles and snow coat who looked like he came out of a Disney film, a quite beautiful woman in a pink dress and a tiara, and a teenager with a red Varsity jacket marked with an N and a brown, neat haircut. "He's finally come to!" Said the green kid. "Where...where the *vulgarity* am I?" Asked the Nerd. "You're in VideoLand." Said the teenager. "Allow us to introduce ourselves. I'm Captain N, but call me Kevin." The green kid was Mega Man, the angel was Kid Icarus, the Hispanic was Simon Belmont, and the brunette princess was Princess Lana. "Wait...you're...the....cast of that cartoon show?" Asked the Nerd. "Cartoon?" Asked Kevin. "I think he got knocked too hard-icus." Said Icarus. "Jesus...gotta lay off the *vulgarity*ing Rolling Rock." He felt a sharp pain in his right butt-cheek like a whip. It was Simon's. "You watch your language in front of Her Highness, young man!" Scolded Simon. "Whatever..." Mumbled the Nerd. "Why the f...heck am I even here?" "The Power Glove malfunctioned." Said Kevin. "But maybe you could help us defeat Mother Brain." "No, no, no, no..." Laughed the AVGN. "You're not real...NONE OF YOU ARE REAL!! Tell me this is a nightmare! I've played so many shitty games it's taken such a toll on my mental condition! I have to stop! It was supposed to be a PSA for Simon's Quest....for fun. IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLE *vulgarity*ING WEB SERIES!!!" "What's he talking about?" Asked Lana. "Maybe he's been probed by Mother Brain." Said Mega Man. "That crazed cranium has MAXIMUSLY gone too far this time!" Agreed Kid Icarus. Suddenly, the Nerd started screaming F-bombs and shaking the Power Glove in hopes of getting him back. No avail. Captain N tried to pull him away from him, but he was socked like a lightning bolt by the Nerd's own Power Glove. Then, he darted through the royal halls like an escaped lunatic, screaming profanities here and there. "I GOT HIM!" Yelled Captain N as he gave pursuit. The Nerd ran through the dining room and was finally cornered in the kitchen. Before he could run out, Captain N got there first, and blocked his escape. He slammed the door shut and locked it quickly to ensure the crazed Nerd was sealed. He backed away and finally collapsed, on the ground, laughing. "You're not real! You can't hurt me, you cartoon cock-craver! My fans....THEY BROKE ME!! THEY DID THIS!! THEY ALL DID IT!! I DIDN'T KNOW WHEN TO STOP, AND NEITHER DID THEY!! THEY JUST KEPT DEMANDING AND DEMANDING FOR ME TO EXPLORE THE WORLD OF SHIT!! IT'S HAPPENED!! IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED!! THANKS, FANS! THANKS, VIEWERS! THANKS....READERS!!!" Captain N hit him in the head with a steamroller in hope of knocking some more sense into him, but he only got more mad. He jumped on top of him and punched him quick and mercilessly like a pissed-off beast. Each blow felt like a brick to the face, especially with a Power Glove involved. ---- Princess Lana was outside, frantically trying to pull the door open. "Kevin, are you alright??" she yelled, continuing to pull the handle with all her strength. She pulled harder and harder, sweating bullets and panting heavily as she heard loud clangs of kitchen tools. "Stand aside, my princess!" A whip flew outward, coiled itself around the doorknob, and removed it from the wooden board. "Keys? Simon Belmont doesn't need keys." When they opened the door, Captain N had the Nerd on the ground, tables and utensils lay everywhere. N turned and noticed them. "Lana! Guys!" The Nerd got his chance. He kicked Kevin off of him, grabbed his zapper and fired at the princess, Simon shielding himself in the nick of time and being de-digitized. "SIMON!!" cried Lana. Kevin saw this and gave the Nerd a menacing glare. "You'll pay." Said Kevin. "YOU brought me here! YOU ruined my life!! YOU SO-CALLED FANS OF MINE BROUGHT ME INTO THIS CLUSTER-*vulgarity*ED PLACE!!" "It's on!" yelled Kevin. "Everyone! RUN!" "But, Kevin--" "GO!! I'll deal with this mad man!" Kevin threw a small Japanese-style table at the Nerd. It was a direct hit, and trapped him under, too hysterical to escape. Kevin went over and smooched Lana. "I've loved you ever since I first came here." He told her as she blushed and smiled, kissing him back before taking off with everyone else. As Captain N was too zoned out and excited at his newfound relationship, he felt a hard blow to his back as he hit the wall of the dining room, cratering it heavily. "You done yet?" Yelled the Nerd. "Now I am." Replied Kevin as he unholstered his Zapper. The Nerd and the Game Master charged like buffalo, Zapper in one hand, knuckles in the other. Beams flying everywhere, the two champions bellowing for glory. I think we broke the Nerd. ------------ RIP Electricferret.com 1997-2013 Not to beat a dead horse, but thanks for all your hard work, Serge! With this wonderful universe gone, I can't write any more open-ended fan fiction. :-(
  3. (The following characters in this match are based on their respective TV Show counterparts. Link, from the Zelda cartoon of 1989 that aired in place of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show on Fridays, and DK, from the Donkey Kong Country TV Show of 1996 that aired on the Fox Kids and Fox Family networks.) Donkey and Diddy Kong were watching television at Donkey's place. "It wasn't the airplanes....it was beauty killed the beast." said the man on the television. "That gets me everytime." Said Donkey Kong as he attempted to hide his tears. "Truer words have never been spoken." Agreed Diddy Kong. Though the movie had already ended, their entertainment was interrupted with a familiar cry. "DONKEY KOOOOOOONG!!" Cranky again. "I guess it's the coconut again, little buddy!" DK smiled as he grabbed a vine to swing on, Diddy followed suit. - - - "You numbskulls!" Cranky gave them an earful as soon as their feet hit the ground. "Cranky!" Said Donkey Kong, anxiously. "What happened? The Kritters already took the coconut?" "They did..." Cranky said sternly as he tapped his cane to the ground twice, opening the Coconut's container to reveal an empty space. "Some future ruler you turned out to be..." DK was shocked. It was normal for Cranky to insult DK whenever this happened, but it was pretty much out of his anxiety for the fate of Kongo Bongo Island, and because it was a very natural trait of his, hence his first name. This didn't sound Cranky. It sounded more....resentful. An emotion that DK never knew Cranky to have towards him. "You could've called us earlier, Cranky." Said DK, faking a smile. "I DID!" Cranky bellowed out of contempt. "YOU CAME AFTER MY FIFTH CALL! This is all the stress I can take from such an incompetent ruler such as yourself! You are stripped of your role! FOREVER!!" "Whatever you say, Cranky." DK grimaced as he walked out. "Take care of things for me, Diddy." DK snapped. "Try not to screw things up this time." DK walked slowly to the door. Depressed, yet agitated. "Careful what you say, Cranky." DK said. "Because this time around, I may not EVER be back." "We'll, unless the Coconut decides otherwise--" "COCONUT COCONUT COCONUT!! IT'S ALWAYS 'COCONUT THIS' AND 'COCONUT THAT'! 'DON'T LET THEM GET THE COCONUT, DONKEY KONG!' 'THAT COCONUT'S GETTING AWAY, DONKEY KONG!' 'YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GUARDING THE COCONUT, DONKEY KONG!' IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THE BLASTED COCONUT! IF YOU LOVE THAT THING SO MUCH, WHY NOT TRADE ME FOR IT?? IN FACT, I THINK I'LL JUST TRADE MYSELF!" Cranky nearly went into cardiac arrest when DK slammed the door. He had never seen his grandson use such aggression toward him. Diddy was a bit startled, but was looking forward to being future ruler again. This time, he built himself a couple of peanut pistols out of wood. He was now ready to defend himself and the rest of Kongo Bongo Island. ----- King K. Rool was in very high spirits. He had finally succeeded at something he had been struggling with for years. "I can't believe it!" K. Rool laughed. "It's mine! THE COCONUT IS MINE! And with it..." K. Rool shouted the last four words so loud, his whole lair shook. "ALL OF KONGO BONGO!!" "Congratulations, Your Majesty, sir!" Said General Klump. "The taste of sweet victory at last.....sir! "I've waited for this moment for such a long time....and no moronic monkey will stop me now!" "Uhh...what about that one?" Asked Krusha, who pointed to DK walking slowly toward the three. Banana in his right hand, a look of anger on his face. "Donkey Kong?" K. Rool gasped. "You could've at least knocked. Get him, Krusha!" Krusha began charging toward DK like a rhino. DK, unfazed and still agitated, squeezed open his banana and ate the inside of it that flew into his mouth, and then tossed Krusha aside at what felt like the speed of light, all within half a second. "Kritters!" Cried Klump. "Battle stations!" A whole army of Kritters ran out and fired countless Klaptraps at DK. DK kept walking. The Kritters were too terrified to aim correctly, and eventually, they all ran out of ammo, the lair swarming with Klaptraps. DK knocked away one Kritter before the rest ran off screaming for their lives. Klump ran with them. "You cowards! Get back here!" shouted K. Rool. When K. Rool turned away from his retreating henchman, he was startled by the sight of DK standing only inches from him. The scaley ruler could tell by his grimace. DK wasn't playing games anymore. He had never felt so scared of this "monkey menace" in his life...until now. "Hello, Donkey Kong." K. Rool chuckled nervously. "Guess you're here to give me my usual 'comeuppance' again? Gonna cry 'Banana Whamma' or whatever the term is that you apes prefer? Gonna make jokes and puns and comedic one-liners about my defeat as you run off, knowing that you have saved the day once again?" "..." K. Rool finally snapped. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, YOU MONSTROUS MAMMAL??" "This isn't for the island anymore, K. Rool." DK spoke softly. This was followed by an unusually brutal beat down from DK. He punched K. Rool in the stomach almost thirty times at a swift speed, then tossed him into the rock wall behind him. Finally, the most painful of all: he curb stomped him to the point of near death. He finally stopped after the fifth time, before yanking the coconut from his claws, spitting on him before walking off. "It's for me. And me only. No one else matters. Not Cranky, not Diddy, not Candy, not Bluster, not Funky, and least of all, you. I'm starting a new life." K. Rool was left on the ground, whimpering softly and violently twitching his eyes as DK left his lair for the last time. ------- DK stared at the coconut, wondering if he should wish for anything. He thought of Candy, of Diddy, of his good friend, Funky. Pressured with the great amount of free-will, DK pulled his arm back to hurl it back to Cranky's place. A voice stopped him. "Are you sure you want to toss that thing? And all your hopes and dreams with it?" Said the raspy voice. DK turned his head. It was a pig-like being with a sorcerer's robe being carried on a throne by some smaller rotund blue pig-like henchmen. "Who are you?" DK asked with a hint of curiosity. "I'm a wizard...who can make wishes come true. That coconut you hold....it is no more than a fake. I can tell you where the real one is. Under the condition that you bring me something of...utmost importance." "I'm listening..." ----- Link laid on his bed and played with his sword. It had been two weeks since the Moblin revolt, and Zelda had remained mad at him since. He definitely screwed up this time, and it was almost guaranteed that he would never get his kiss from her. Ever. Despite this loss of motivation, Link continued to fight off Moblins and battle the evil wizard, Ganon as he invaded again and again. Although, he had been feeling a lot more reluctant. A hero like Link could get a kiss from anybody, but none would be the same as a kiss from the most beautiful woman in the land. The woman he had gone adventuring with ever since he rode into Hyrule. The woman he whistled at so constantly, and never stopped no matter how hard he was hit. The woman he picked many a flower for. The woman who opened him up to sense the beauty of beauty. The woman who would never be his. Link had zapped nearly five hundred of Ganon's wicked minions all in a week, but his frustration and stress still remained unsatisfied. They were so close to getting that Triforce of Power. And Link had to screw it all up in the end. * * * "Don't talk to me..." "But, Zelda!" Link laughed. "You will call me princess! Got that?" Zelda bellowed as she stomped out of the room, slamming the door. "Grr...excuse me...princess!" Link grumbled. Link couldn't keep track of how many times he had said this to her, as he loved to joke around. This time, however, he told her with an unusually great amount of contempt that he wouldn't even reserve for Ganon himself. * * * "Link!!" Sprite cried. Link woke up from his daydream to find yet another Moblin trying to grab the Triforce. Link took his sword and zapped him before he could even scream in startlement. Link didn't celebrate by spinning his sword, or smirking, or even bragging to Zelda. Instead, he frowned and went back to sleep. "Go tell Ganon he's not even trying anymore..." mumbled Link as he went back to his snoozing. "Blasted Moblins...." Link loved taunting his fallen enemies, but this time, he wasn't taunting. He was inconsolably miserable. Sprite flew gently over to the hero of Hyrule. "Link? Are you okay, dear?" Link angrily tilted his head away from Sprite and coated his head with his blanket. "Of all the nerve..." Sprite mumbled to herself as she flew out of the room. Link shut the door, set the lock, and returned to his bed, sulking, covering his ears with his bed sheet, trying to drown out Zelda's angry words toward him that rang in his ears for weeks. The door opened. Zelda walked in. "I thought I locked that thing..." "Link, you've been in your room all day! I thought I told you to clean the halls!" Zelda scolded him. "Stop acting like some sort of child and actually-" A sudden beam of light was fired over her head, which hit the wall behind her, the dust enveloping her, causing her to cough excessively. Finally, the smog cleared up and Zelda was outraged by what she saw. It was Link. His sword was pointed toward her and he had an unusual hateful glare she had never seen on him. "I choose for myself now, 'princess'. I'm through doing redundant tasks for you that I'm never rewarded for. I just zapped another Moblin who snuck in here. Think about the fate of Hyrule if I was just doing your trivial house chores. Now get outta my room." Zelda walked out, nervously. But slammed the door in a fit of rage as soon as she walked out. Link could faintly hear her sobbing outside. "Link...", she said to herself. It was just like when he was mistaken for dead after being hit by a beam of energy during one of their many battles with Ganon's forces. In a way, she was correct. His body was gone, but his soul was intact. After a long journey, Link got his body back and saved the day once again. What if Zelda still felt this way, despite said incident? Link tried to hold back the tears as he unlocked his door, grabbed a shirt on the clothesline, and ziplined out the window. It was the only thrill Link ever felt anymore. After releasing the fabric and flipping into the air, followed by a perfect landing, Link began walking away from the castle, his sword with him. He never looked back. Not once. What was the point of defending Hyrule anymore? It's not like he would get any reward for his "daring" acts of heroism. Link went to the Hyrule Seaside to clear his mind. He used to love fishing here when he wasn't defending Hyrule. He had almost wished he could turn back for his fishing rod, but he decided it was best to stay away for his own personal reasons. Just then, he heard a familiar shriek. "LINK!!!" It was Zelda! Link, despite his current anger toward her, naturally got back on his steed to heed her call, his heart pounding over her fate, or that of the Triforce. ------ At last, Link burst into his bedroom. He was surprised to see a strange gorilla with a bright, red necktie holding the Triforce in his hands. Zelda stood in the corner, terrified and confused. "I'm guessing you escaped from the Hyrulian circus?" Asked Link. "Nope. The jungle." DK answered. Link was startled at the fact that it could speak human words, but that was the least of his concerns. DK socked Link into his mattress, toppling it over as he made a break for it through the window, swinging on the clothesline. "Not my idea of a jungle gym..." Link said as he slid his way down that same clothesline. "...but whatever gives me a workout!" When Link landed, he caught a slight glimpse of DK dashing over to the Eastern part of the castle. He was in the Hyrule Shopping Arcade. DK ran up the flight of stairs at the end and stopped at a dead end on the rooftop. Noticing the large arrangement of barrels at the top that towered in a cubic formation gave him an idea. Link went toward that same flight of steps and barely dodged a barrel that rushed aggressively toward him like a bowling ball. Link landed on his feet to find two more barrels, which he leapt over. "This may be unoriginal, but...it's like some sort of video game..." Link jumped another barrel and zapped away two more as he slowly worked his way toward the top. Before DK could throw the last one, Link zapped it out of his hands. "Hand that thing over, you persistent primate!" Link bellowed, his sword pointed at DK's chest. "Lest you get a jolt of my zaps!" "Okay, you can have it." DK said as he held his hand out for a handshake. "Truce?" Link took it firmly and DK swung him down the same staircase. Before he could pick up the pace, a banana peel thwarted his plan. "I knew I should've eaten that beforehand!" DK moaned. When DK got up, Link was back, pointing the sword at him. "Well, if it's a fight you want, a fight you'll get!" Cried DK. "Winner takes all!! BANANA SLAMMA!!" Who will emerge victorious in this animated anarchy? R.I.P. ElectricFerret.com 1997-2013 Your awesomeness will be missed by all. Thanks, Serge, for all you hard effort out into this great site.
  4. I'd say the Nerd might have a chance, since he's not only an expert at video games, but also board games and others. Also, he's a nerd. 'Nuff said.
  5. WHAT'S ALREADY DEAD By HulkSmashSpammers (AUTHOR'S NOTE: This takes place after the first ending of Star Fox Command. SPOILERS!) ------------------------------------- "It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways." -Buddha "It's so boring on this ship! Give me something to shoot at!" complained Falco loudly to himself. A soft sobbing was heard outside the door of Fox's room. It wasn't normal for the brave leader of the Star Fox team to do this. Well, at least, there once was a point where this wouldn't be normal for it to be normal. But since the day Krystal finally left for good, Fox was a lot more quiet. He would always act as if nothing's wrong, and you wouldn't be able to tell that anything even was, yet every time he stepped out of his bedroom, you could see some wet, messy fur beneath his eyes, as if his heart was being broken again and again, and one of the worst days in Fox's life since he was told of his father's passing, was being repeated in a never-ending, insufferable cycle. Falco knocked on his door. The sobbing ceased. "Don't tell me you're still not over her." He said. "I'm okay." Said Fox. "I just had some allergies." Falco turned the doorknob, presuming it was safe to walk in. He pushed the door forward and walked over to his long-time pilot companion. Fox was finally caught in the act. He was holding a picture frame of him and Krystal on a picnic in a Cornerian valley, one of the most beautiful landmarks on the planet. And luckily, it was one of the only places not rummaged during the Lylat, Aparoid, and Anglar Wars. Perhaps, even those life forms had a soft spot for this particular beauty. Fox had fallen asleep during the photo and Krystal was smiling and giving him a loving kiss on the forehead. That photo, once in Fox's heart, had turned into something ugly, and the glass of the picture frame was stained with the red-green-blue particles of Fox's heartbroken, lovesick tears of despair. They were so sizable, you may think someone spilt their drink on it. "Sheesh." Falco muttered. "Is it the sob flu?" "Leave me alone, Falco." Said Fox. "Every squad leader needs his space every once in a while. You, of all people, should know that." "Fox, you can't dwell on the past forever." Said Falco. "You need to get on with your life! Look what this is doing to you! You can't even fly your arwing correctly anymore!" "YOU THINK I DON'T WANT TO, FALCO?!" Bellowed Fox in Falco's face. Falco got so startled, he nearly toppled backward. Fox had never yelled at him before, and there had been times in their relationship where Falco had been a real sarcastic prick towards him. He was so patient, he would be there to save his feathered ass without retorting even slightly. How could the departure of a single Star Fox pilot have changed its leader so drastically? "Y'know, Fox," Falco said sternly. "You can be a real asshole. You need to at least gain a hobby, instead of sitting there feeling sorry for yourself. Otherwise, the leader of Star Fox, the brave, intergalactic hero who the people of Corneria and the rest of the Lylat System have deeply embraced and entrusted their lives to, the superior pilot who Slippy depended on, the man who Peppy cared for like a son when your father died, and my most reliable partner, through good and bad, who I have always looked up to...really is dead. And never coming back..." Falco stormed out of the room, not forgetting to be so kind as to slam the door on his way out, let alone not even saying "goodbye". Fox jumped. He had never heard Falco call him his role model before, nor ever even attempt to give him pep talk, but he still didn't care. What was the point? Fox, unable to take anymore of the pain in his heart, finally decided to take action...but not in the most reasonable of solutions. He took his pistol and stared at it for five minutes. Had it finally come down to this? Was this how it would all end? Fox aimed the laser pistol at the side of his head. All it took was one, simple, single, swift movement of his right index finger to finally liberate himself of the unloved, unwanted shell of a hero who had done too much for the world around him to receive what he had in return. Was he finally going to do it? No. He forgot to close his eyes again. That was the most important part. Because of this, he once again caught a glimpse of his photograph. He felt a very hulking and powerful sensation in his chest, and he collapsed, and began sobbing loudly and erratically. Once he felt that he could sob no longer, as his eyes were exhausted from producing tears, he looked at the photo again, and felt an emotion he had never felt so intensely before: HATRED. Fox glared at the once beautiful image, as if concentrating all of the rage in his body into it. To share his pain, suffering, and anger for this now haunting reminder. As he stared into it, he turned his gun gently away from himself and directly at the photo and, with perfect accuracy, blew a hole through Krystal's smiling visage. Falco was on the TV, watching the G-Zero Grand Prix. " Boy, I'd sure love to do that stuff once I retire." He said to himself as he watched a racer slam another into fiery, chaotic oblivion. He was knocked away from his fantasy when he heard a sudden door slam. Falco turned his head to see Fox walking toward the door to the Arwing room. "Hey, Fox!" Falco called. "You feeling any better?" Fox wasn't saying a word. He just continued walking, like a zombie or a robot. "Yo, Fox!" Falco was starting to get impatient. He put his DVR on pause and stormed over to him. "What is your problem? I'M TALKING TO YOU!" yelled Falco. "Quit ignoring me like a child!" "Shut your beak, Falco." snapped Fox as he gave Falco an unusually menacing glare, as if he was a pissed-off wild animal, ready to maul Falco in the blink of an eye. "There's something I have to do." "Really? And what would that be? Getting a drink at the Cornerian --" "None of your business!" Fox hissed as he shoved Falco aside. Falco growled angrily as Fox slammed the door. "Man, he's starting to piss me off!" He yelled. - - - Panther, Wolf, Krystal, and Leon were having drinks at the Corneria City Nightclub. Wolf and Leon were seated at the bar. Leon was cackling about stories of how many of the Anglar Empire's cronies he had "made suffer", and Wolf didn't exactly talk much. Only to the bartender when he wanted another drink of Wolfgang's Blood Red, the latest alcohol the place began serving. Other than that, the only noises you'd hear from him would be embarrassed grunts whenever Leon did that godforsaken hyena laugh whenever he'd finish a story. It was like claws on a chalkboard. Panther and Krystal, meanwhile, had a seat in one of the fancier dining room tables, which was one of the closest seats to the stage. Standing on it was a dog with a black leather jacket playing some soft, romantic jazz. Even if you weren't a music person, it was the kind so entrancing, you wouldn't say a word. Panther put his arm around Krystal, and smiled at her as she sank her teeth into her double cheeseburger deluxe special, moaning with delight. Her and Panther had fought up an appetite. A big one. And the reward money they had earned from blowing Octoman to bits...it was a fortune. Talk about delicious rewards, as Panther would put it. "Would you like a third serving, my dear Krystal?" Purred Panther. "Our day was long and fulfilling, and we are now as rich as we are hungry for some first class goodness." "Of course!" Krystal smiled at him, with some ketchup on her upper lip. "Aren't you hungry, dear?" "Oh, very, darling." Panther laughed. He then leaned his head gently toward her ear. "But I don't care for food right now." he purred. "I am, however, craving for --" Wolf choked on his sixth shot of Blood Red and Leon yelped as a loud shattering of glass was heard. Everyone gasped in horror. And then silence. All except for what went on at the bar table near the entrance door at the very back. "Tell me where they are or you'll need a body bag!" Krystal knew that voice all too well. It was her blasted ex. She grunted as she crouched under the table and got out her phone. She opened her contacts and called the only person she knew who could stop him. * * * Falco was watching an episode of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. Captain Lou Albano had just realized he had thrown Magic Johnson's bowling trophy into the furnace by mistake. His eyes were widened in great horror as he glanced at Luigi. "Uh ohhhhh...." He gasped in comedic fashion as the studio laughed. Falco was trying his best not to laugh at this scene. It wasn't known for its laughs, or for its animation quality for the cartoon segments. But this scene was so over exaggerated, Falco couldn't help himself. "So glad they decided to rerun this!" He laughed insanely. "Such nostalgic value!" Falco then hit the pause button, as he felt his phone vibrating. Falco was an Answer button away from some shocking news. "Krystal? Sup?" asked Falco. "Falco! It's Fox! He's gone berserk!" Whispered Krystal, trying not to panic too loudly. "He's just attacked one of the bartenders and is coming for --" The signal was cut off. "ROB! Trace Krystal's location!" "Krystal's communicator is located in the Corneria City Nightclub." "Gotcha! My Arwing repairs ready yet?" he asked. "Arwing repairs are 150% complete." "150?" "I have included a Plasma shot with an extra speed boost upgrade." "Thanks, ROB." Falco said as he darted for the Arwing room. "Gratitude much appreciated." said ROB as he resumed typing on the Great Fox's computers. * * * Wolf and Fox were engaged in intense fisticuffs as Panther held Krystal tightly close to comfort her as she gasped in shock. Wolf took Fox to the ground with a swift roundhouse kick and then leaped on top of him. "You'd better get your act together, Fox! Lest I cut you down to size like a hot knife through butter!" He yelled in Fox's face, his claws aimed for his neck as they glistened within the purple light of the disco ball. Fox glared at him, unfazed by his loud, furious threats. "Your pistol's missing." Replied Fox. Before Wolf could realize Fox had tricked him, and his pistol was still in his holster, Fox fiercely kneed him in the stomach at the blink of an eye. Wolf flew into the air and landed on his back, panting profusely, unable to find the energy to get himself back on his feet. Child's play. Fox pointed his gun at Wolf's forehead. It was finally time to kill this meddling scumbag once and for all. And not a moment too soon. "I've always known you and your little group of wannabe Star Fox members were no match for me, Wolf." He taunted. "I'm sick of your foolishness, Fox." "Well, good! Because I'm just sick of you in general!" BAM! The sound of his laser pistol echoed loudly as it pierced through Wolf's skull. A bloody hole was implanted in his forehead as his corpse stared off into space. The leader of Star Wolf was in a different place now. Everyone in the room panicked at their traumatic encounter with death. Fox just smirked and chuckled as a drop of Wolf's blood stained his front teeth. He didn't stop there. He stepped on over to Leon, who was too confused by all the chaos to notice Fox's pistol directed toward him. BAM! Leon's head landed against the flat bar room table. "How ironic. You've always loved watching people's suffering, you scaly sadist." He said to Leon's body. "How did yours feel?" Fox then went to finish what he started. He headed for the stage. The musician shrieked and ran off as Fox took a glance at him. "Coward." Fox mumbled. He looked around and caught a glimpse of Panther wrapped protectively around Krystal. "Come out of there, you blackhearted scoundrel!" Fox bellowed as he directed his gun toward Panther. A bottle near Fox shattered into pieces from a swift laser. "I should be saying the same to you, you dirty traitor!" yelled a familiar voice. Fox looked behind him to see Falco, his gun pointed in his direction. Falco strafed slowly towards him, his gun ready to fire. Fox laughed. "Seriously? I'm the traitor, Falco?" asked Fox. "Isn't Krystal the one who chose to leave my side? To selfishly betray MY team and leave me by my lonesome for some cocky feline?" "No, Fox!" Falco yelled. "The real traitor of the Star Fox team is you!" Fox glared in great anger and disbelief at this wingmate of his who was once his most trusted ally. "First of all, you're the one who forced Krystal to leave in the first place! She never betrayed you, you betrayed her! Along with the love of your life, you've also betrayed your duties to protect Lylat, all because you've been too busy victimizing yourself to even give a damn about the world around you! And now you're not just ignoring them, you're destroying them! OPEN YOUR EYES, YOU HYPOCRIT!!" Fox's glare normalized. He took a glimpse of his pistol, and then of Falco. Then of Panther and Krystal. He started to cry. He went over to Krystal and opened his arms. "Krystal...." Sobbed Fox. "I'm....so..... sorry." Fox was crying so profusely, he could barely make out a sentence, but Krystal understood. She came out from under the table and hugged him, moved by him. She was going to hug him one last time before walking out with Panther. Fox needs a hug more than anything, she thought. Fox slowly aimed his pistol, and pointed it to the back of her head. BAM! Krystal fell to the floor. Panther screamed as he held Krystal's shell tightly in his arms. "You can't kill what's already dead to you." Said Fox, with a psychotic grin. "You bastard!!" Shrieked Falco. "You double-crossing, backstabbing son of a bitch!!" Before Fox could laugh like a murderous hyena, a laser was fired by a grief-stricken Panther. "You took her away..." Hissed Panther. "YOU TOOK THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!" Usually, Panther wasn't the type of guy who was a loudmouth. He was always the calm, laid back member of Star Wolf. This was the first time anything had set him off. "Then don't keep her waiting, scoundrel!!" Fox yelled as he blew away the last Star Wolf member. Falco was too startled to even react as Fox kneeled down and placed Panther's gun against Krystal's head. "You two have fun in Hell, now." grinned Fox. "But not too much fun." By now, almost everyone in the bar had fled. Those who weren't either dead from shock or shot to death like the first bartender were just too scared for their lives to even make a sound. Fox felt a powerful force against his back, and he was launched into the stage's left amplifier. As he came to, he felt a lump on his head and tasted blood in his throat. Fox was pretty angry before, to a homicidal level of no return. But now he was livid beyond the normal limit of anger. He was like a completely different person, almost like a wild animal of savage proportions. He turned and saw Falco. He had kicked him with the strength of a mule. Fox roared as he darted at him at rage-induced speed that would scare off a rhino. Falco felt Fox's fist penetrate against the front of his beak as he was rocketed against the first bar room table, knocking it over, the glasses and bottles crumbling like they were cookies. Falco got up and felt a crack in his beak. It was painful, but he had to ignore it....he had a much bigger problem to worry about. He ran back toward his attacker, who shot a laser in his direction. Falco, following his instincts, grabbed his reflector device and boomeranged it. The circular mirror-like object deflected the laser, and it turned back and struck one of the top amplifiers. Slowly, the amplifier unhinged, and fell towards Fox, who dodged it in the nick of time, but dropped his pistol, which was crushed on impact. Fox cursed before being tackled by Falco at full force. Falco pointed his gun against Fox's head. "I'm sure you won't be seeing your father where you're going, Fox." Spoke Falco severely. "He'd be too ashamed of you anyway." "I was doing what was right!!" yelled Fox. "I was doing what was right for the team! You can't kill me! You'll be reduced to nothing without me! I built this team with my bare hands! I've killed Gods, aliens, and fish with the press of a button!! And I, the man who's responsible for your lives, who has bent over backwards for you with somersaults, barrel rolls, and those blasted U-turns, techniques none of you ungrateful pilots would care to do for shit, will give you all your comeuppances, even if I have to destroy you one member at a time! I've accomplished something none of you could ever achieve in a million years! I finally took out Star Wolf! It was so easy, yet you wouldn't be able to do jack without my help! I'm not a traitor of the team...I'm the sole member. I AM STAR FOX! STAR FOX IS ME! And you're nothing more than a walking lump of Arwing fodder!" Fox flipped Falco over and jumped on top of him as they wrestled for Falco's pistol, which slid away from the impact. Finally, after a long and desperate struggle, a voice cried, "FOR STAR FOX!" and... BAM! From the ashes, two silhouettes arose from the rubble. One was dragging the other, who now remained lifeless. The walking shadow-like figure was out of breath, but triumphant. The victor's name....began with an "F".
  6. My upcoming match will involve characters from Star Fox, and it will be set after one of the endings of Star Fox Command. Considering a crossover battle, if only I knew who would be a realistic and equally powered opponent for Fox to face, or just one of the Star Fox members. Promise you it won't be disappointing.
  7. Ugh...I really want t be mad and hate this Yahoo Answers scenario, but I can't, seeing how this is a rumble match. This is worse than a *vulgarity*ing Rick Roll.
  8. Greatest setup Ive ever read. Seriously. It was. My vote's on Luna.
  9. Well, Ralph goes to Diet Cola Mountain rather than stay in the game, because the Hot Springs are more of a hazard he can use to make sure that he's gone for good, seeing how the Hulk would just land on his feet like a cat if he fell off the building. The Hot Springs are basically like the Dip from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
  10. After almost 20 years... The kids have returned to their heroic duties. And will fight once more for their home planet... Against one of the most powerful forces in the DC Universe... Ness & Superman Vs. Apokolips Or just Ness Vs. Apokolips.
  11. Thanks, man! The reason why I used Marvel Super Heroes rather than MvC was actually because I thought the idea of two arcade games featuring Ryu would be a little strange. Two Ryus? Umm...so yeah. That's why there's a Marvel Super Heroes instead. Thanks so much for your feedback! :-)
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