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CBUB Match Judges
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Everything posted by Ivan

  1. I don't buy the omnipotence stalemate argument. TOAA can't coexist with other omnipotent entities and still be omnipotent. With the Marvel multiverse, yes, that would be true. However, this battle ostensibly takes place on some kind of "neutral ground" in which case, TOAA either doesn't exist (because the Marvel Multiverse IS essentially its entire existence,) or it is, by definition, no longer omnipotent. If The Presence and and YHVH and Eru and The Creator and Ea and whoever all coexist, they can only exist as a pantheon where either nobody is truly omnipotent, or everyone is. Either way, when you have more than two entities, power derives from consensus.
  2. This is just for fun. Play along if you like. The Pragmatist Weapons and Arms “Consider what effects, that might conceivably have practical bearings, we conceive the object of our conception to have.†-Charles Sanders Pierce (sign above the door of The Pragmatist) The Pragmatist is not a character. The Pragmatist is a specialized weapons shop in Khazan, a place you can go to get everything from the mundane to the hyper-exotic. For the right price they can buy/find/build almost anything, and customize it for your personal taste. They also do a notable amount of modifications and repairs. The Pragmatist has three full-time employees and a number of part-timers. (Some of these are listed below. ) The storefront, workshop, and accompanying warehouse are located in Northeast Kits, about a quarter mile east of Khazan International Airport, near The Spires. The Pragmatist also does a bit of online business, this makes up about 15%-20% of their total sales. The Pragmatist Catalogue is a favored annual publication for many a weapons collector, detailing hundreds of pieces for everyone from the exotic sport hunter to the home-defense specialist to the vigilante on a budget. They don’t sell to out-and-out criminals and supervillains, obviously, but their weapons do occasionally find a way into the hands of Khazan’s seedy criminal underworld anyway. The Pragmatist has a reputation for craftsmanship, reliability, attention to detail, and being the stupidest place in Khazan to try and rob. Let’s meet the crew: Zwolf Ironson is a dwarf. Not a fantasy dwarf, he’s just a short human who oddly happens to ascribe to certain stereotypes (he has a beard and a thick German accent, for starters.) He’s a consummate metallurgist, clockmaker, and absolutely brilliant with pretty much anything with moving parts. He has served as the resident smith at The Pragmatist for over 30 years, and although his current age is wholly unknown, he has a surprising amount of strength and fortitude for a man of his apparent age and stature. Zwolf is a shrewd businessman, he’s meticulous to a fault, and he has an astounding memory- he quite literally remembers every weapon he’s ever built, modified, or repaired, who he sold it to, what that person was wearing when he sold it to them, how they paid, and which pocket they put the change in. Zwolf is a firm but fair businessman, although he tends to have a paranoid streak in him- many of the more advanced weapons he designs have secret built-in fail-safes which enable him to personally disable them if they are used to threaten or endanger the shop or its employees. Nicholas “Doc†Margrave is a former teen runaway, now in his 20s, who was informally adopted by Mama Cinco after he tried to defend her against an assailant (a decision which cost him his left leg.) He was apprenticed to Zwolf, and he eventually earned enough to put himself through college, earning a PhD in Applied Sciences. While he doesn’t have Zwolf’s uncanny skill, he is still a talented weapons designer with an affinity for electronics. He tends to work on the technological components required for certain weapons, and has even written his own proprietary programming language. Doc rarely interacts with customers, but deals directly with most of the part-time employees. Mama Cinco is a former Black Serpent supersoldier, and rumored to be one of the deadliest women on the planet. The combination of her superior genetics and Black Serpent training means virtually anything is a lethal weapon in her hands, and that lethality is only multiplied when she gets a hold of an actual weapon. Nevertheless, Mama and Zwolf set up The Pragmatist as a legitimate business, and her days of assassinations are long behind her. She runs the register when she’s in the shop, and helps out procuring rare odds and ends for special orders. and a few of the part time staff: Jaime Encino is a high-strung expert in exotic energy who was fired from Levent Avionics for having an “unstable personality.†He occasionally does freelance work helping Zwolf and Doc repair or modify weapons with unusual energy signatures- artifacts , alien weapons, and the like. Jaime also speaks an astounding number of languages fluently, a talent which would be more useful if he used it for something other than swearing. Charna is an extremely agile young woman with more balls than any man you’re likely to meet. She works as a kind of concierge, acquiring necessary rare items or information when called upon. It is rumored that she double-crossed Mama Cinco exactly once, and the resulting scars are why she wears her hood up at all times. Very few people have seen her face, although Doc seems to have developed a bit of a crush on her anyway. Charna has a special knack for finding things, an almost superhuman ability to instinctively know where to go and what questions to ask. The Pragmatist employs a number of other part-time experts as the situation arises. Wait, what? Ivan, what’s the point of all this? Are you planning some new character? No, I’m not. The Pragmatist serves several purposes simultaneously, including helping create a new FPL writing exercise that I think might be fun. Here’s a list of my intentions. 1: The Pragmatist is a quick go-to if your character is carrying a custom piece. Now that piece has a little extra in-continuity history just by virtue of a quick mention. 2: The shop serves as a story location that can facilitate several things. KPD investigating a murder? The ballistics experts pay Zwolf a visit. Vigilante group planning a raid on a Syndicate front? Lock and Load at The Pragmatist. Fighting a supervillain who controls metal? Get a custom cold-case fusion rifle that fires ceramic grenades. Looking to beef-up security around your Dockside warehouse? Order online now and save! 3: The Pragmatist can serve as a home base for RP stuff in Khazan- characters can stock up there and/or get missions from Doc. This is similar to the Storm City stuff Serge created ten years ago, a way to RP in Khazan without needing a huge overarching plotline: you can just get together and have a quick session. Also, the Pragmatist Catalog (below) can help create an interesting reward system where your characters can obtain powers beyond the scope of their original sheet for story or RP purposes, without having to recreate the whole character. 4: The Pragmatists Catalog is my new idea. Basically, whoever wants to can submit entries for weapons. This is like writing a single power description instead of a whole character, so it should be easy to add things to it. Also new creators can try their hand here first. The super-simple format for this goes as follows: Item # and Name Power Name/s, Level/s, and Modifiers Description Price Where the Price should be based on the number of points spent. Basically a price in the hundreds indicates Standard, a price in the thousands indicates Superior, and a price in the tens of thousands indicates Supreme (The catalog doesn’t list Ultimate level weapons, those are by special order only.) Pretty simple, I think. Here are some examples. Item # 71: Caltrops Standard Piercing Weapon + Multi-attack Drop ‘em on the ground. It’s that easy. These barbed, tetrahedral iron spikes will puncture the feet or tires of anything they encounter. Highly effective for evading pursuit. Not recommended for use against hovercraft. This package includes twenty caltrops. $99.00 Item #142: Localized EMP Superior Radiation + Area Effect A press of the button is all it takes with this simple-to-use, non-lethal ordinance. The Localized EMP emits a burst of electromagnetic radiation just powerful enough to disable any electronic device in a 30 yard radius. Highly effective against robots of all types. Not recommended for use from a moving vehicle. Two minute recharge time between bursts. $2,499.00 Item #1969: Sgt. Pepper Spray Standard Inhibit Senses + Standard Illusion Control + ranged A potent combination of pepper spray and psychedelic hallucinogens, this self-defense necessity ensures that any unwanted advances will be met with an effective non-lethal deterrent. Highly effective against both humans and dogs. Not recommended for use as a recreational activity. Side-effects listed on box. $599.00
  3. Before the Darkseid fans come in and steamroll everything, let me just say that Janeba is my favorite DBZ movie villain, (It's the only DBZ movie that really works in my opinion,) and making a totally unsubstantiated guess I'd put him around Superboy Prime level. I'm not really interested in whether or not he could be Darkseid, but if the two met, I believe Darkseid would have a new pet at his disposal.
  4. obvious troll is obvious. Go back to penning Savage Dragon, Mr. Larsen.
  5. Is it important to your story that the Watchmen know about his attack on their previous team members? If that's part of the storyline, I'd take out Veidt and Kovacs first, as they're the ones who would be the most dangerous to leave alive.
  6. Remember when this thread was about Black Adam and Namor? Heh. I think Hank Henshaw, (and Black Adam, for that matter,) has been shown to have different powers at different times and so the message board versions of these characters are always vastly superior to their showing in any single comic issue. (Also known as Batman Syndrome, or BS for short.)
  7. First Corinthians 13:11 Also, yes, this match is a gem. Keep up the excellent work. I don't rate matches, but I rated this one.
  8. (James Woods version of Owlman) Ozymandias: "Only I can save the world, but I'm going to need to murder New York to do it." Owlman: "Dude, there are lots of New Yorks. The only meaningful act would be destroying them all." Ozymandias: "In order to save them?" Owlman: "Yeah, sure, whatever." Ozymandias: "Ok, how do we do it?" Owlman "I did it... 35 minutes ago... OH SNAP." Ozymandias: "Dick."
  9. Shenron couldn't wish away Goku's powers, why would it work on The Scarlet Witch?
  10. Loki turned Thor into a frog once, and it just made him more badass. Remember when Buu got beaten up by chocolate? That plus a big damn hammer. Really, though, the DBZ Universe will be fighting itself- Vegeta kills the villains on principal, Goku starts fighting Shenron, Gotenks goes after Buu, etc etc. Avengers/JLA have a tea party and watch them blow each other up.
  11. I'm confused, you put Brainchild in a handicap match against a two Global characters? In that case she loses, otherwise she wins. If it comes down to purely powers and not concepts, nothing inside the Spire has an intelligence or agility above Weak (this is true no matter which of these two Characters she's fighting,) which means she can endlessly dodge or outwit anything she can't tank, and Combat Supremacy means she's getting cheater-level speed feats, essentially constant bullet timing. With weak mind AND weak agility, the thing can't even think/react fast enough to deal with her before she gets to the next room. Now if you're throwing concept in, she probably loses because people can imagine all kinds of horrors to trip her up. But going purely based on powers, as it says in the red letters up there, all of those horrors are drooling, lumbering slowpokes.
  12. Easy man, you're getting all worked up over nothing. Geesh, talk about overreacting. Nobody's saying you can't have an opinion. (See how it feels to be accused of having a reaction you clearly didn't have? It's confusing and frustrating. Try not to do that in the future.)
  13. I knew what you meant, I just thought how often do I get a chance to link to an obscure broadway musical around here?
  14. They're going to try to MAME one another? So... they're buying property next to the other's house and opening a home for Unwed Mothers? Interesting setup.
  15. Wow. I came in here to make a Mark Gruenwald joke, (not that any of you heathens would appreciate it,) because The Gru used to routinely destroy even the most intense fans at Marvel trivia contests, and if you've never read Squadron Supreme you're not really a Marvel Comics fan. Instead I see people bashing Kim Possible, which was easily one of the five best animated series of the past decade. Ugh. You sicken me, CBUB. This is why I don't comment on fights.
  16. I'm a little weary of the phrase "with relative ease" being thrown about in any fight involving these four characters. Lots of people (including guys like Dan Jurgens, who has written appearances for all these characters in Marvel and DC,) would say this is a very even fight. Gladiator and Thor don't give up easily. I'm not saying they'll win, just that it's going to be a very long, arduous battle that can in no way be described as a victory "with relative ease."
  17. I have nothing to contribute except Whatever Knows Fear Burns at The Man Thing's Touch!
  18. I would need to rewrite him completely. As-is he works as a 100 word tournament character, and not as an FPL contender. Everything, right down to the power names, was engineered to work in the 100 word format. Maybe I'll look into making him a Global.
  19. The FPL has had a few get-togethers over its 15(ish) year lifespan. Those friendships have developed gradually, over time, working together on story stuff, chatting on IRC, playing D&D over Skype, etc. (It should also be noted that the average age in the FPL is over 21, while the average age in the CBUB seems to be under 18.) Two out of the four times I've gone to Vegas have been with FPL folks, and I've been lucky enough to live close to a few in the past, so we've been able to do stuff like go out for ramen or beers or bowling or what have you. Bottom line, that is nothing like the situation FoxFingers described. If you don't understand social boundaries, the internet is not the place to learn them, but here's a good starting point: Showing up at someone's house for the first time is always By Invitation Only.
  20. We've had a DGC discussion before, because I didn't remember Alfred being that much more powerful than Haplo, and talking to you made me go re-read some of the books. I almost suggested Fizban/Zifnab, but things get really mucky with that guy.
  21. If you're doing magic, Raistlin might be a good addition. Alfred from the Death Gate Cycle is up there, in terms of power. Maybe Harry Dresden if you were able to give him some kind of equalizing advantage.
  22. Cyclops- his entire existence is predicated on his interpretation of Professor Xavier's dream. Without that, Cyclops flounders for a while before joining up with the Doom Patrol Emma Frost- Emma never has trouble ingratiating herself with powerful people. She becomes Lex Luthor's arm candy for a while, until he learns her secret. After that, she becomes a madame in London, and friend to John Constantine. Namor- Namor becomes a recurring Aquaman villain, until he falls in love with Tula, and reforms, becoming Aquaman's personal anti-Superman contingency. Rogue- Rogue begins dating Plastic Man, who is immune to her powers. Hope- Being nothing more than a lame Marvel plot-device, Hope Summers explodes immediately upon entering the DCU. Later people think they spot her, but it turns out to be Everyman. Colossus- Colossus joins the Metal Men. Danger- Recruited by Stormwatch, accidentally killed by The Engineer who tries to upgrade Danger's programming. Although Danger is lost, the Engineer is later able to use the animated body to both go on missions and remain in The Bleed at the same time. Magik- Magik joins the Shadowpact, where she is both respected and well-liked. Gambit- Gambit joins the Suicide Squad, which is really generous because Gambit sucks but I already killed off Hope so I thought I'd throw you a bone. Wolverine- Wolverine moves to Star City, where they'll put up with that kind of thing. He occasionally has a beer with Jack Knight. Iceman- Justice League material. Bobby and Wally develop an ongoing prank war. Nightcrawler- He'd be perfect for Checkmate. Storm- Justice Society welcomes her with open arms. Beast- STAR labs. Box- Umm... does Courtney Whitmore need another sidekick? Nemesis- Killed by Solomon Grundy. Rachel Summers- Accidentally stops an invasion of White Martians, gets tapped to do some deep-space cosmic stuff. X man- Fights the Spectre. Loses. Magneto- Gets permission from Black Adam to set up a mutant protection colony in Khandaq. Eventually Rogue and Cyclops make their way there, the "mutant" status not being something they can let go of as easily as the others. Jubilee- Falls in with Brother Blood. Killed in the short lived "Tim Drake, Vampire Hunter" series. Warpath- learns the secret words "Inuk Chuk." Changes his name and joins the Superfriends. Archangel- Adventures on Hawkworld. Fantomex- Hangs out with Animal Man, where they both talk about how cool Grant Morrison is.
  23. I wish more CBUB matches were like this. I've always thought that "What Would Happen?" is a much more interesting question than "Who Beats Who?" I think Thanos would treat Apocalypse like he did Terrax- recognizing his ability and offering him control of some planet in exchange for subduing some specific target.
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