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captain Manzini

CBUB Match Judges
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About captain Manzini

  • Rank
    The Duke of Prunes

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    http://
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Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Tromaville, New Jersey
  • Interests
    Troma Films, Garbage Pail Kids, 80s nostalgia, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Marvel,science, general nerd-dom, absurdity,dada,any and all things avante-garde, and, of course, the CBUB.

Previous Fields

  • Favorite Fiction Character
    Donatello (TMNT)
  • Favorite Non-fiction character?
    Frank Zappa
  1. Batman should be able to handle the pack. Gobby should'nt have too much trouble taking out coyote. If he can handle sentinels, he should be able to handle this. Gobby has a lot of firepower and maneuverability in that glider of his.
  2. San Francisco, 1979, by the bay.... Two metalheads were walking on the San Fran. pier, arguing. "Shut up man, your just talkin' outta your ass and you know it." "Your just scared of the truth, man. "I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night" has the best riffs in the history of metal!" "Dude, did you HEAR Geezer Butler's playing on "Paranoid"? "Butler, that no-talent hack?!?! He's just riding Ozzy's jock and you know it! Now, if you wanna talk great riffs, everybody knows Space Ace is where it's at!" "I swear, if you dont stop talking about friggin' Space Case...." "Shit man, I ain't scared of you. I saw you listening to that Carpenters album!" "Alright, that's it!" The metalheads ran at each other and began fighting. In the ensuing melee one of them drops his brand new KISS album into the water, where it sinks...into the Kingdom of Atlantica.... As Ariel was swimming along on her daily trip to the pier, she found herself in a cheerily pleasant mood. The tide would be coming in soon, and with it all kinds of wonderful things from the surface. Beautiful trinkets and treasures from another land. Who knows what she might find today? A sterling silver spoon...a tea chest, perhaps....or, if she should be so lucky...a globe! She had wanted a new globe so badly ever since her last one broke apart when that octopus laid eggs inside of it. But such things are prone to happen under the sea, though lately Ariel had been growing tired of it. Oh well, at least she had these little curios from the surface to keep her entertained. But what awaited her was no mere curio.... Upon arriving at the pier, she saw a small cardboard box floating down to her. Curious, she swam up to meet it and grabbed it gingerly, her eyes filled with childlike delight and wonder. Ariel's eyes filled with suprise as she looked at the album cover. Four men in outlandish costumes, with horrifying, unnatural faces of white, black, and silver. The album glowed and pulsated in the water, radiating with pure rock energy. Unaccustomed as she was to rock living in the wonderful world of Disney, she was both frightened and delighted by the album. She took it down to her private grotto and put it on her record player. She'd found records before, but they'd always been destroyed by the water damage. But those were lesser records. It would take a lot more than water to destroy a KISS record. She takes it out of the cover....puts on the needle.........The music hit her like a ton of bricks and The Little Mermaid was never the same again. The music crept over her. She felt warm sensations all over her body as she writhed in tune with the beat. She looked down and saw that she had legs instead of a tail. A satisfied smile broke across her face and she knew what she had to do. She swam to the surface and jumped onto the pier. A cold shiver running up her exposed back, she picked up an abandoned leather jacket and put it on. Inside the pocket she found a poster, adertising a KISS show, at The Fillmore Theatre, along with tickets. But how to get there? After a few seconds of thinking, she almost kicked herself for not immeadiately thinking of the obvious answer. She walked up the street corner and unzipped her jacket, revealing a seashell bra and not much else, and stood there with her thumb up. A few moments later a biker parked his harley to inquire about the young lady's travel plans.... "Yo, hot stuff, how old are ya?" "Old enough. Goin my way, big man?" "Depends, which way's that?" Hook, line, and sinker. This was too easy. Ariel wondered to herself why every girl did'nt do this. "The Fillmore". "Well then, I guess i'm goin to Fillmore. Hop on my hog, babe, we're goin fer a ride..." Later, at the show.... "Alright San Francisco! You wanted the best, you got the best! The Loudest Band in The Land....KISS!!!!! KISS stepped onto the stage, ready to rock, when the roof of the theater was lifted off it's hinges by a giant man with a flowing white beard, wielding a trident. "ARIEL, CEASE THIS INSOLENCE AND RETURN TO THE KINGDOM WITH ME AT ONCE!!!!!" Gene Simmons, angered by this interruption, uses the band's amplification system to speak back in an equally resonant voice. "STEP OFF OLD MAN, YOU'RE INTERRUPTING OUR SHOW! IF YOU DON'T LEAVE, WE'LL MAKE YOU LEAVE!" King Triton becomes enraged at this and stabs at the stage with his trident. All four use their keen reflexes to deftly dodge the weapon and go outside to meet their challenger. King Triton-"FOR DEFYING TRITON, YOU SHALL FACE THE WRATH OF MY FLYING FISH!" Several fish fly out of the bay at super sonic speeds towards KISS. Gene Simmons,"The Demon", lets out a massive fire blast from his mouth, frying the fish and dropping them over a cheering crowd. Gene-"My turn. Your lord of the fish, right? Well, let us introduce you to our cat. Peter, attack!" Peter Criss, "The Catman", using his superhuman agility, jumps up 40 feet into the air onto King Triton's chest. He whips out his claws and slides along Triton's chest, cutting him along the way before jumping off back onto the pier. Gene-"Good work Peter. Ace, throw him off balance!" Ace Frehley, "The Spaceman", flies into the air and uses his magic axe guitar to conjure a fiery blast of explosives, "Frehley's comet.", which he fires at Triton, knocking him back several feet. Gene-"Excellent job, Ace. Paul, analyze!" Paul Stanley, "The Starchild", fires off a scanning laser from his starry eye to analyze Triton and his capabilities whist also firing off a few regular laser blasts for good measure. Paul-"He's strong Gene, real strong. But if the four of us work together, and play our cards right, we can boot this guy off the tour. Gene-"Good enough for me. Atta.... Triton-"CEASE THIS IMPOTENCE AT ONCE. I WANT MY... Paul-"I wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day! But first, I wanna kick some tail....pun definitely intended, ya old fart. Alright boys, attack! So, will KISS Klobber the Kantankerous King?
  3. Madison Square Garden, New York City, 1978. An exotically dressed man clad in a purple polyester leisure suit, neckscarf, and gold meddallion stands shivering in the cold winter air holding a microphone and mumbling into it angrily whilst a camera-man watches. They are there to film the opening ceremonies for the annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, the "courageous reporter" in the afforementioned fruity getup being rather disenchanted with the whole experience... "Lousy CBUB network execs, stickin' me in the middle of this god forsaken city to report on the friggin' mutt contest. Sure, all the other reporters get sent to Studio 54' to check out the "thriving boogie scene", but not Captain Manzini, no, Never good ooooolll' cap! I dont got enough charisma to appeal to today's "hip young viewers" they say, I come off as "too hostile for prime time" they say, well I say screw the network, i'm walkin! There ain't no way im staying at this friggin' mutt sho.....Roland, are we on? Damn it Roland, how many times do I have to tell you to warn me when.....uh....Hellllllloooo New York! It's...uh...me, Cap Manzini, Da' host wit' Da Most, reporting live from the.....thrilling....action at The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show '77! We've got lots of riveting action here.....why look, it appears that schnauser just relieved himself. How fascinating....wait folks, it looks like today's "I'm only stuck reporting on this god forsaken event because I made the head of marketing look bad at the annual CBUB network picnic extravaganza" snoozefest just got a heck of a lot more interesting, it appears that the Millenium Falcon is touching down as we speak!" The Millenium Falcon came cruising down to a slow and easy stop in front of Cap before Han Solo emerged from the vessel along with his faithful second Chewbacca. They were soon followed by Darth Vader, Obi Wan Kenobi, and Luke Skywalker. Han turned to address the astonished reporter. Cap-"Wow, ladies and gentlemen watching at home, an astonishing turn of events has occured, and nearly the entire cast of the hit movie "Star Wars, A New Hope" has turned up at the Westminster Dog Show! If I may ask, you guys are the biggest stars in hollywood right now, why are'nt you out at somewhere cool, like Studio 54?" Chewbacce-"GRRROOOORRRRRR"! Cap-"Excuse me?" Han-"What Chewe was trying to say there, Cap, was that we're here for free exposure. Mr. Lucas explained it all while we were filming "A New Hope", I think he called it "shameless pandering". Ya see, according to Mr. Lucas, the more people watch our movie, the more money he....oh, that's right, I think he wanted me to say we..... make. So logically, we want as many people to see our movie as possible. To do that, we need a hell of a lotta free publicity. We noticed a...er...."media" presence at this dog show, ergo....here we are. We're going to enter Chewe into the show, win it, and get a ton of free publicity." Cap-"But Han, does'nt the fact that chewe's a wookie disqualify him from entering the DOG show?" Han-"that's where your mistaken Cap, chewe is a dog. Is'nt that right Chewe?" Chewe-"GROOOOOOORRRR!" Han-"See?" Cap-Well, im still not sure i'm entirely convinced... At that Darth Vader walks up to the captain and begins force choking him like a ten year old simpson... Darth Vader-"I find your lack of faith....disturbing." Cap(speaking between gasps for air) -"Good....enough....for.....me....please let me go now....." Darth Vader releases his grip. Cap-"Well, good luck guys....I guess...." The Star wars retinue begins walking off. A parking attendant attempts to get into the Millenium Falcon but is stopped short by a laser blast. Han-"You lay one more finger on my baby and you'll find it in the digestive tract of my woo....er, dog, friend here.: The parking attendant runs away in abject fear, leaving a trail of yellow liquid behind him as he does so. The Star Wars retinue continues on into the show building as Superman and Krypto The Superdog fly into the area and land near Captain Manzini. Superman-"Hi Cap, i'm here to...." Cap-"Lemme guess, your here to plug your new flick and enter your mutt into this catastrophe too, right?" Superman-"Well gee, the nice folks at the studio made it sound so much nicer but.....yes, essentially. How'dya know?" Cap-"Word gets around Supes, word gets around...." Much later...... The contest has been whittled down to two final contestants, Krypto The Superdog and Chewbacca. Both are about to demonstrate their dog's "tricks" for the judges. Judges-"Okay, now what tricks will your dogs be demonstrating for us today?" Han Solo and Superman-"Skeet-shooting." Judges-"Skeet shooting?" Superman-Why yes, it's really rather easy. Here, show 'em Krypto!" Superman throws several Shaun Cassidy albums into the air and Krypto blows them up one by one with heat vision. Han-"Heh, whatever, any dog with half a brain can do sloppy shooting like that. Lemme' show you how a real marksman handles himself. Chewe, pull!" Han throws Several Brady Bunch family albums into the air and Chewe whips out a blaster and takes them out in a blink of an eye. Judges-Very impressive, on both of your parts. This is going to be a very interesting night indeed...." So, who wins the war of westminster? The wily wookie, or the keen kryptonian? And who will be the lucky audience member who wins the raffle to get their very own "Groovin' with Han" album to take home?
  4. So tell me friends, will the swingers snag the sexy siren, or will Jessica jump over yet another jilted lover?
  5. In the deep, dark, disgusting wastes of Detroit is where we make our scene. In a dingy movie theater you find yourself, preparing for a movie screening, waiting impatiently to get rid of an annoying host most unclean....... A tall, poorly dressed young hispanic man walks out in front of a movie theater in one of Detroit's most disgusting movie houses, lovingly entitled "The House Of Bush". In front of him stood a crowd of angry movie-goer's, impatiently waiting for their picture to start. The young man adresses the crowd....... Cap-"Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to The House of Bush. My name is Captain Manzini, and i'm here to present tonight's picture to all of you fine, wonderful people...... Audience-"Shut the hell up, dipshit! We came to see "When Groovy meets Gorgeous", not your sorry ass! Get off the stage, hack! Cap-"Well, I never! I worked my bleedin' head off for this damn movie! Do you know how much it cost to get this thing together, how much red tape I had to cut through? My grandkid's grandkids are gonna be in debt!" Audience-"Strange, this guy seems to be under the impression that we give a damn.....Start the show! Cap-Sighs......"Fine, here's "When Groovy Meets Gorgeous"........ And The Show Begins! George Costanza sits, alone of course, by himself in the corner of "The Ink Spot", Toontown's finest night club. Ever since that horrible accident which took the lives of Jerry, Kramer, and Elaine, he found that it was best to relocate for his personal safety. God, there was so much blood.....and why was The Burger King there? George can still see that terrible plastic face, laughing at the carnage he had caused. But these are thoughts for another day..... George's inner thought's-"Yup, alone again on a friday night. Figures! I'm at the hottest nightclub in Toon Town, every single chick in here's wasted as my miserable life, and I still can't get laid! Sure, every ugly guy in the frikkin' club gets laid, goofy gets laid, even Elmer Fudd's getting laid, but not Georgie! Georgie's getting angry! Gotta relax, breathe in, breathe out.......that's better. Just got to focus my energy on something else. Like that angelic vision on the stage!!!!!!!!!" The angelic vision in question being, of course, Jessica Rabbit, singing a smooth, sultry number on stage. Turning heads, but not tricks, this broad was definitely gonna be a hard catch. Especially for someone like our dear friend Georgie. Luckily for him, he has a ''mentor", of sorts, to assist him in his noble quest...... George walks up to Jessica to ply his trade...... George-"I want to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body....." Slap!!!! Jessica, walking away in a huff-"Im spoken for, creep!" Unbeknownst to George, Austin Powers has been watching this debacle from the other end of the bar. Such poor technique, George had! Unskilled in the ancient art of swinging, he was! A mentor strongly, he needed! Austin, being altruistic in nature, decided to go and help his fellow swinger..... Austin, to George-"Hey, listen cat, I saw you trying to shag that bird, most ungroovy! But with a little nudge in the right direction, i'm sure I could get you under that bunny's bra, most indubitably! Swinging School is in session, and luckily for you, you have an international man of mystery on your side. So, wattaya say?" George-"Wait a minute, what's in this for you? I mean, you have absolutely no reason to help me at all. And another thing...." Austin-"Woah! Plot holes, most uncool baby! The last thing you wanna do is point out plot holes! It might ruin Cap's artistic integrity! Not that he had much to start with...." Cap-"Hey!" Austin-"Sorry love, had to be said. Anyway, let's get it on. Are you gonna shag this bird, or what? George-"Yeah, i'm shagging that bird! I mean, she's a rabbit, but, uh......you know what I mean." Austing-"Groovy baby, extremely shagadelic!" And so Austin begins teaching George his secrets of swinging, secretly doubting his ability to help someone as desperate as George. But hey, the night is young, and Jessica will be here all night......
  6. Melvin is armed with a plastic prop lightsaber (sith red, cuz Melv's a baaaad mama jama) and BK's wielding a (fake, though he'd never say so) jewel encrusted plastic sword. Also, glad you enjoyed the match. Always good for a lowly underling to get props from a cbub vet
  7. Supreme Court Of The United States Of America, 1989. The Supreme Court of The United States of America. The highest law in the land. Built and maintained both to serve Americans, and to protect them from themselves. On this day, a trial of most extreme proportions has just concluded. The defendant: A former royal monarch, gone even madder after being ousted from power after his country's thorough spanking at the hands of the allied powers in WW2. This mad monarch has been judged guilty by a jury of his peers, and will now face judgement..... Bailiff-"All rise for the honorable judge Phillip Banks." Judge Banks-"Thank you, Bailiff. Now, has the jury reached a verdict?" A wide range of colorful fast food mascots chatted amongst themselves for several minutes, eventually electing Ronald Mcdonald to present their verdict..... Ronald-"Your honor, we find the defendant........ guilty." Judge Banks-"Very well then. Burger King, this court finds you guilty of crimes against humanity. For spreading your poisonous food all across this great nation, for endagering the health of millions of people, and, worst of all, for attempting to hack into our military's War Operation Planned Response supercomputer, or WOPR, and attempting to start a global thermonuclear war.....I mean, honestly, what kind of disgusting creature would endanger the lives of every human being on the planet to satisfy some sick, twisted mad fantasy?" Bk-"Maybe the same kind of disgusting creatures currently making their way through your intestinal tract as we speak, you sniveling waste of space. Your not fit to be in my line of vision, and yet you would judge me? Very well, it is irrelevant. Those parasites I planted in your water should make short work of you within a few days or so....." Judge Banks-"Your crazy! This court sentences you to life imprisonment in The Alcatraz State Penitentiary. Bailiff, get this man out of my courtroom and see that he never knows the light of day again!" Later, in Alcatraz, The Burger King gets acquainted with his new cellmate..... A huge, muscular man, covered head to toe in tattooes, stood next to The Burger King, holding a long, rusty shiv to his throat while whispering in his plastic ear.... "Well well well, looks like I got me a new girlfriend. Say baby, got fries with that shake....." SNAP!!!!!!!!!! With one fluid motion, the convict's head seperated from his neck like a fool and his money. The Burger King stared unblinkingly at the disembodied head for several minutes, before eventually deciding to use the head's dripping blood to write a crude message on the walls of his cell..... "MMMMMM, Jailbait!!" A guard casually walked by the king's cell whistling a merry tune before stumbling upon the goriest scene he had ever witnessed...... Guard-"Oh, GOD!!!! The blood, so much blood, I.....uh......I..........would you......uh......care to go to the......yard, Mr. King? BK-"...........Yes, I think I'd like that very much." Guard-"Very good sir, lemme just get this door for you..... Later, in the prison yard, our good friend the king encountered a foe who was to be a much bigger challenge..... BK-"Alright, let's set a few things straight. Being the baddest mother in this prison, I'm fairly sure that you gentlemen wont mind my taking things over...." In the crowd of prisoners a loud, derisive laugh was heard. BK-"Who dares to mock my power?!?!" From out of the crowd of convicts came a stout, portly young man of 28. His pasty, acne ridden face contorted into hearty guffaws of laughter that shook all of his 239 pound frame. Clad in jet black Sith robes and wielding an original prop lightsaber used in the original star wars trilogy, Melvin Grossman had an air of astounding confidence about him. Melvin-"Burger King, you may be all that and a bag o' potato chips out there, but in here, you ain't nothin..... The chain of command goes much deeper than you could even begin to ponder. I'm one of the big boss's best lieutenants, I report to him personally. If you wanna rule Alcatraz, you have to get rid of the head honcho. But to get to him, you'll have to get through me. Trust me, no one gets through me....." Melvin opened his robes to reveal several scalps hanging from his belt, some with long hair and sporting flowers, others short and greasy with klingon ears..... BK-"Ah, so it's the famed slayer of the trekkies and the flower children I face.....I've read the police reports, Melvin. Your an impressive commander, and have acquired quite the impressive set of kills to your name, but, behold..... The Burger King opened his royal robes to reveal, hanging from his jewel encrusted belt, the scalps of all four of the golden girls, including Betty White. Bk-"As you can see, my own resume is just as impressive, if not more so. The one called "Betty" fought like a demon, but even she tasted my blade eventually. I've faced your ilk before, boy. You and your fanboys are fearsome. Your famous "Fanboy Rage" would put the viking berserkers of old to shame. Fanboys can be cruel. But I can be crueler...." Melvin-"We shall see, "my leige", we shall see. But i'm afraid that today, I shall have to cut your comeback to power short...." BK-"Dont call it a comeback. I've been here for years......" Both-"AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!" And with that, Melvin Grossman, slayer of The Hippies and The Trekkies, ran forth to face The Burger King, slayer of the fearsome golden girls, in mortal combat.So tell me friends, who shall win, The Furious Fanboy, or The Royally-pissed Burger King?
  8. I got a 0 for pitting earl sinclair against the rutles. The Story was horrible, and the character's being obscure explains that away I guess.
  9. Great Setup. Really great. Sort of like listening to Sgt. Pepper for the first time Well, now that i'm done kissing ass.....perhaps a certain moderator who happens to be one with the All-Spark would'nt mind slipping me the keys to the CBUB executive washroom.....
  10. A long, long, time ago, in an alternate universe far far away, where lazy writers can get away with ripping of george lucas..... America, the 1950's, if dinosaurs and humans coexisted.... Times were tough for america. She had found herself embroiled in a war she did not want. The Vietnam War was rapidly losing popularity. Some claimed that America did'nt need to be there, that the costs outweighed the benefits. But that's bloody unpatriotic! The Vietnamese have started eating their pistachio nuts with...... RED SALSA!!!!!! Yes, friends, Vietnam had gone red. The Red Menace was sweeping over the globe, gobbling up country after country with their unorthodox snacking practices. The Americans had to stand up for decency, for righteousness, for honest, traditional snackers everywhere! It was a police action, they said. And so, America sent many of her sons, reptilian and mammalian, to combat. Well, mostly mammalian actually. In America, there was a huge species divide. Dinosaurs got all the best food, the best housing, the best everything. Humans, however, were second class citizens. Forced to stay in crowded slums, they were'nt even allowed to drink from the same water fountains as dinosaurs. America was a divided nation, but some humans struggled for equal rights. Among these were Doctor Martin Luther King Jr., famous for leading numerous marches all throughout the distinctly pro-dinosaur south.... Doctor king leads a group of nonviolent human marchers through the streets of South Carolina as they are jeered at by bigoted dinos..... "Go back where ya came from, warm-blood!" "Yeah warmie, get lost!" Doctor King, speaking to his protesters.... "Be strong my brothers and sisters, we shall overcome. I have a dream. A dream that one day, my little children will be judged not by the temperature of their blood, but by the content of their character. A dream that little human boys and little dinosaur girls can unite, in peace, and brotherhood." Dr. King's protesters-"Amen, brother. Amen." Several years passed. The 50's sequed into the 60's. Humans made great strides in civil rights. They gained the vote, and segregation was outlawed. Hell, in 1964 the best selling group was all......human. Rutlemania swept the nation in a windstorm after they appeared on the Ed Saltosaurus show. Ed Saltosaurus-"Yes ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have for you four top notch young men from Liverpool. They've managed, despite their, um, limitations.....to become the top selling act in America. And now, introducing The Rutles playing their smash hit, Hold My Hand!!!!! Four mop-topped young men come out on stage, to the screams of young dinosaur and human girls everywhere..... "Hold my hand, yeah, yeah, hold my hand, yeah, yeah, hold my hand and i'll seeeeeee you home!" Meanwhile, at the Sinclair household, a young Charlene Sinclair and her older brother Robbie sit watching The Rutles, their mouths wide with amazement that....fleshies....could play music like that. Charlene Sinclair's inner thoughts-God, their so dreamy.....their skin,so....unscaly......and that hair.....I love it!!!!!! Robbie's inner thoughts-Wow, i've never heard chord progressions like that....and the way they arrange their bass and rythym guitars.....These guys are great! I mean, even considering their handicap.... Earl Sinclair opened his door after a long day of pushing trees for the WESAYSO corporation, and he just wanted to lay on his chair and pass out in front of the tv. Unfortunately for him, the tv was already in use..... Earl-"What on earth is that hideous music on my tv?!?! Can't a man even get some rest anymore without having to see those......monkeys......on his tv? Scootch over and pass daddy the remote, Ed Saltosaurus is on! Charlene-"But daddie, we're watching Ed Saltosaurus! Earl-"Bite your tongue young lady!" "I can't believe this....warmies....on my favorite show! Yeesh, what's the world coming to...." All was fine and well for the next several years, but then America started...changing. The youth were sick of "The Man's" war in Vietnam. After all, it was their country. They could snack however they wanted to, right? This youth movement, dubbed "The Hippie Movement" spread like wildfire, in large part due to The Rutles taking up the cause. Scandolously drinking the illegal substance called "tea", with biscuits even! Chief of those against the war was Rutle Ron Nasty, and his fellow Rutles. They demonstrated against the war with their multiple "Shower-in's For Peace........ Ron Nasty and his fellow Rutles sat in a shower, getting wet while giving a press conference in their bathroom.... Reporter-"Excuse me Mr. Nasty but, um......what are you doing?" Ron-"We are getting wet.....in a shower. We've talked it over, Chastity and Me-self, and we've come to the conclusion that the fighting is nothing more than an effective sewage system. Using plumbing, we hope to demonstrate this to the world....." Reporter-"Mr. Nasty, what do you think about claims made by the pro-war movement's leader, Earl Sinclair, and his statements condemning you as an "unpatriotic, no-good, two-faced warmie" ? Ron-"I have the following statement for Mr. Sinclair.....". "Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, speciest, maloderous, pervert!!! Later, at the headquarters of the WESAYSO corporation..... Earl Sinclair-"Fellas, i've had enough. I'm just a regular, patriotic, working class tree-pushing schlub like the rest of you. I've have enough of rich, lazy humans telling us about what's right and what's wrong. I've had enough of the precious standards of snacking being trampled upon by those damn reds! I've had enough of our kids being stolen away from us by that damn fleshie music!!! I say we meet those lazy, good for nothing huma....hippies that honest americans still exist. That We Are Right! Earl's Coworker-"Hey Earl, anway we could shorten that?" Earl-"Well, lets see. We Are Right. WAR. What a great slogan. Okay fellas, lets go! Elsewhere..... The Rutles meet up with several youth protesters(dinosaurs and humans alike) at Pangea Studios to announce their next move. The Rutles-"Alright brothers and sisters, the festering gobs have made their move. They want a final showdown? Well I say, let's give them what they want! Don your shower curtains, your symbol of peace and solidarity with your fellow shower power believers, and let's go show America that it still has a concscience..... Rutles Fans-"Shower Power! Shower Power! Shower Power!" Among the protesters were two young dinosaurs, Charlene and Robbie Sinclair.... Charlene-"Robbie, are you sure we should be doing this? I mean, our characters have'nt even been developed all that much by the writer, and we're just sort of jumping into this whole shower power thing...." Robbie-"Of course we should Sis! Screw Captain Manzini, we dont need no stinkin' character development! Besides, we're in the right. We have to get America out of Vietnam. Everyone has the right to choose how to snack for themselves! Now let's go, we have work to do." Charlene-"Well, when your right your right I suppose....Shower Power! Legalize Tea! Shower Power! And so the two factions went off, ready to meet eachother in the streets...... And there you have it gentlemen. So, who wins in this battle for the hearts, minds, and stomachs, of america?
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