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Lakers win NBA championship.

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boston_celtics

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Lakers are the NBA champions.

 

There are so many things wrong with that statement.

 

I'm just... I'm just so sad. So I'll go and rant why the Lakers suck.

 

First, they are lossers. That is their legacy. They lose to New York and Boston. That is what they proved themselves capable of doing. So the fact that they win pisses me off.

 

The Lakers suck because of Kobe Bryant, who is a rapist, and a thief, and an arrogant prick, who cares only for his own glory. A losser who scores millions of points BUT DOES NOT WIN WITHOUT HELP FROM A BIG MAN.

 

The Lakers suck because of Phil Jackson, who steals titles from those who deserve them. He stole from J-Kidd, AI, Reggie Miller, Charles Barkley, Gary Payton, Stockton and Malone (twice), Clyde the Glide, Jerry Sloan, George Karl, etc.

 

The Lakers suck because they beat the Celtics in 85 and 87. They won on pure luck. The fact they lost to Houston in 86 proves they lucksacked the two titles.

 

The Lakers suck because of Pau Gasol, who is a flopper, just like all International players (except Dirk Nowitzki)

 

The Lakers suck because of the 3-peat, the Jr. Jr. Skyhook, Showtime, Mr. Clutch, the 33-straight wins, etc.

 

I hate the Lakers. They suck.

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