Favorite letter of the Week
I think in a match like this, trying to compare strengths is going to be pointless. Between the never-ending MIB arsenal and the sheer stick-to-it-iveness of MtM, it's a pretty tight battle. But consider this:
- "J" (or "Jay", if you like the cartoon show...) is disadvantaged first with his inexperience. Because he doesn't know all the MIB equipment, he's in line to pull a Daffy Duck (first using the disintegrating pistol which disintegrates itself, then getting disintegrated while his disintegration-proof vest stays intact.)
- "J"'s other weakness is his tendency to show off. While he tries to go mano-a-mano with a group of instant Martians, a handful of pellets showered over his head and a little water and J will B smashed...
- Granted, "K" IS wiser, but all that is nothing without the Bugs Bunny ability to get zany. Instead of tricking the instant Martian into zooming a hover-scooter off a ledge, K would probably try to find it's weakness using weapons. K, this is a WB character. If Wile E. Coyote doesn't go Blammo, the Martian won't either.
- Over half of the times Marvin has been defeated, it involved the destruction of his base/planet/universe. The MIB are not even close to ready to take out a planet.
And lastly, remember (since somebody WILL say it...) the neutralizer (ya know, one click, your mind's erased) ONLY WORKS ON HUMANS! I totally see J walking up to MtM and trying to use it on him, resulting in Marvin whipping out a noisy cricket and blasting Will Smith's ass back to Bel Air!
I predict the Men in Black the victors here. Sure Marvin has robots and giant Martian goons, but the MIB has more than just J and K. They got all the other MIB agents to back them up. And if I'm correct, the MIB has one agent for EVERY letter of the alphabet. Combine this army with all the high-tech weapons the MIB has, and Marvin's toast.
Sonic Hunter writes:
MEN IN BLACK BABYYYYY!!! Even though Jay is right in saying that the MIB are a little more fragile than your average Looney Toons(TM) character the MIB will win because of superior numbers. So what if Marvin uses Instant Martians(TM) one blast from a Noisy Cricket will turn that Instant Martian(TM) into Instant Martian Fricassee! Mwuh HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MARVIN! MARVIN! MARVIN! Okay so I may be just a little biased in my opinion here. but come on Marvin is the ultimate loony tune!! the only reason that bugs beat him in those cartoons is because he was a really good friend of the exc. producer, (I here him and friz Freiling and chuck Jones were know to go on all night carrot juice binges together and then prank call Leon schlesinger at 4:00 a.m. it's the truth I swear)
Now don't get me wrong J and K are good. they are the best in the universe at what they do. but even with their unlimited technology from all over the galaxy they are still over looking one thing. because he is a Toon Marvin can not be destroyed (bugs and Mickey had that dip stuff outlawed just after they killed judge doom) so no matter what they do Marvin will just keep coming! ALL HAIL MARVIN FUTURE RULER OF THE EARTH!!!!
What an absolute Joke. This battle is going to be decided by one thing, Endurance. Marvin has been around for years, Willy and Tommy (who we will not admit are associated with the original or real MIB) can't even go 90 minutes for there movie. Marvin will drop those two faster then the "Fresh Prince" dropped DJ Jazzy Jeff.
Editors Note: And that was pretty quick.
MIB's got the real toy advantage here. Marvin has a great line of credit with ACME because of the 50 years of constant purchases. But MIB have intergalactic trade routes open to them for all kinds of things. I'm sure they'll find the right gimmick for any situation. Or they'll improvise...
This is going to be one helluva battle. Both combatants have definite advantages. Allow me to explain:
Marvin the Martian hails from the 23rd and half century. With this level of technology he has a massive advantage. He has also squared off against Duck Dodgers and the vast stable of Warner Brother characters, that is good experience. He also has a number of rent-a-thugs to call upon in battle. With his galactic connections he may even call in other the Marvins: Marvin the Paranoid Android, Lee Marvin and Marvelous Marvin Hagler. Marvin is one pint-sized piece of evil.
Now the MIB have been defending the Earth since the dawn of time. Marvin may have the future, but the MiB have the past and all that history to draw upon. The MiB are also trained specifically to hunt down and neutralize alien threats. I'm sure that they have battled Martians in the past. Also the MiBs have not only Tommy Lee Jones and The Fresh Prince, but also Jesse Ventura and Alex Trebeck, that's star power of a different sort.
All that having been said, I vote for the Men In Black. They may take it on the chin in the initial engagements, but they'll bounce back save the Earth... with style.
Lady Alhana Brightblade writes:
This one has got to go to my guy's Agent's "J" & "K". They've obviously got the superior technology. I mean how awesome is that noisy cricket?! IT'S DA BOMB! Not only that, but I see the MIB getting two new members: Agent Bugs and Agent Duck Dodger.
General George S. Patton writes:
On the one side we have the Men In Black, who dress cool, have amazing weaponry, and have the second best deadpan punchline delivery in the known universe, and to my knowledge have never failed to accomplish their mission. Plus they'll go to unreasonable lengths to get their favorite guns back in the event that some giant interstellar cockroach decides to swallow said favorite gun. I like that in a man or woman.
On the other side, we have this entertaining little space-black goof wearing a costume by Fuller Brush of Rome, Incorporated, shoes by Converse, and a green (Green?!?) faithful canine sidekick with the IQ of a bright turnip, and a whole jar full of Instant Martians parked somewhere in the pantry in case of emergencies, and let's not forget that Martin the Martian Maggot packs an Eludium Q-36 explosive Space Modulator. Powerful stuff and a force to be reckoned with in any universe!
After careful consideration, it will be Martin's reserve supply of Instant Martians that swings the balance. There will be so many of them to battle that the Men In Black will eventually run out of power for their weapons, and then it's all over.
The battle will be won by Martin and company, but only after a great deal of entertainment has taken place.
The Immortal Kahless writes:
Let me say a few things,
- I despise Bugs Bunny, he must die,
- Anyone stupid enough to fall for Bugs Bunny's stupid tricks must also die, even more slowly than Bugs himself. Wait, I overstate that, they should die equally slow.
- I like MiB, they should NOT die.
There, I have spoken, let the MiB exterminate all the loony tunes.
You have GOT to be kidding me on this. A guy who's outwitted by DAFFY DUCK of all creatures? I dig on Daffy, but he's not very smart. These are the MIB. C'mon, let's not forget how they saved the planet from that gigantic cockroach from hell. They beat that dude to hell, and Marvin's petty little insto-martians wouldn't stand a chance against the well-dressed MIB. Linda Fiorentino and Will Smith dominate this match, easily.
I am shocked to see that this fight could actually be suggested! These characters aren't even on the same level of worlds! But, I can see why you would be interested in seeing how this fight would turn out. Here is how I voted:
Marvin the Martian has been "attempting" to over take the world for, as you say, 50 years, and has failed at every attempt.
However, the Men in Black are experienced ( at least K is) in dealing with a great variety of creatures from space. They have also succeeded in winning their battles.
On a different note, Bugs Bunny usually won most of his battles with Marvin the Martian not because he is clever (though he is pretty clever) but because Marvin the Martian was stupid! (Wouldn't you be able to tell if someone handed you a box of dynamite as a present?)
I like the Men in Black, they're cool and all, but they ain't no Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck. These are real people here, not cartoon characters, leaving them at a great disadvantage. 'Toons are known for their resiliency, and Marv's no exception. Just how many times has he been disintegrated and re-integrated? On the other hand, the are human, and we break too easily. Though I would like for the MiB to win, they will still get spanked like a 4-year-old at K-mart.
Editors Note: "Spanked like a 4-year-old at K-mart"? Good one. I just added that to my permanent file of euphemisms
Oh, gimme a break! How can this even be close? On the one side, we have the guys who taken on every space invader man has ever encounter (including a 15' killer cockroach)and either won or made peace with them. On the other, we have a Martian who can't even take a bunny. Let me see who could it be? Bunny's are really, really tough, aren't they? No they aren't! Get a grip! Marvin is toast!
Editors Note: So in other words, he'll be spanked like a 4-year old at K-Mart.
Okay, we're talking about two professional alien scum busters vs. an overrated cartoon character trounced on a regular basis by a rabbit.
The only way Marvy stands a chance is if he invokes the "I'm a cartoon character, you can't actually hurt me" clause. In that case, it ends in a draw with Martin and the MIB standing on a little tiny rock that is all that's left of Mars while a little black circle closes the screen off.
Marvin is on Mars, MIB is on Earth, its out of their jurisdiction. They can't touch them without breaking the Tyrus Treaty article 3 dash 6.
David Kelly writes:
The MIB win. And that's the bottom line. "CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!!!"
Editors Note: Spanked like a 4-year old at K-Mart.... CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!!!
System Ghost writes:
Marvin all the way. Look at the dude, he's even cooler then Tas, and that's saying a lot. MIB may be good, but they are no Bugs Bunny or Duck Dogers (of the 24th 1/2 century). Also, Marvin has a few extra Explosive Space Modulators(TM), and, while powerful enough to destroy a planet, they don't do more then annoy Marvin when used against him. MIB doesn't have that kind of firepower.
Last, but not least, Q, the boss at MIB, likes Marvin, so MIB won't be trying their hardest.
Noel Schornhorst writes:
Just when the MiB have dealt with the instant Martians, K-9, etc. It looks like poor Marvin is defeated... BUT, just when all seems lost, Marvin's buddies come in, guns a-blazin'. Uncle Martin, the Martian Manhunter, and those Mars Attacks aliens all burst onto the scene and quickly overpower the two agents. Mulder and Sculley find the two brainwashed agents and smell a conspiracy... but that's a different story. Meanwhile, the Mars Attacks aliens wage war on the Death Star, Uncle Martin becomes a judge in a small midwestern town, and Jonn Jonn'z gives Marvin a shiny new Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator and tells him to blow up Apokolips or something. Marvin forgets and the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator is lit and placed on his 50th birthday cake. Make a wish.
"Where is the Kaboom? There was supposed to have been an Earth-Shattering Kaboom..."
Katya: the Lady Wyvern writes:
Okay, here's what I'm seeing: ya got to relatively large guys with big guns. Then ya got a really little, slow moving guy with a lot of nifty toys. DUH! Marvin, of course. All he has to do is disintegrate them or blow them up with his planetary space modulator. Yeah, cartoon violence rules!
Polar 8 writes:
Look. I love Marvin the Martian, but as much as I like him he always seems to screw up some how, causing him the match. So the MIB with all their technology will win.
Mr. Seldon writes:
Now I am a Marvin the Martian fan as much as the next guy, but lets look at this logically,
Marvin is cool, but MIB has a MUCH better track record.
- MIB - Kicked a bug bugs's butt all over the place. Marvin - Gets beaten by a bunny constantly
- Marvin - Has big, cool looking Guns MIB - Theirs work
- MIB - Saved the World, successfully Marvin - Tries to destroy the world and gets beaten by a bunny
- MIB - Black Suits, Cool shades Marvin - Breen Spandex, Roman Legion hat, gets beaten by a bunny
The thing about these two sets of fighters is that One set is two normal human beings that have the intelligence of the human mind. The Toon has what, a fraggin' hamster on a wheel. And that's on good days.
Two, the Toon gets beat by a rabbit. A shotgun takes out a rabbit and MiB have weapons much better then a shotgun.
Three, the MiB are all around cooler. MiB END OF STORY!
The Bunyip writes:
As much as I like to be original...
Guys, you do know that the WB network just DID this one? You know, don't you?
Here was the case, in a nutshell:
MIB: We hear you want to destroy the earth - we're here to stop you. MARV: Oh, good heavens, no! I'm just celebrating my 50th birthday! MIB: Oh, sorry, we heard wrong. Carry on. MARV: I'm not going to destroy it, I'm only going to blow it up!
Editors Note: God no! Say it isn't so! They couldn't have!! Is nothing sacred anymore?
Mr. Silverback's Doctor writes:
I just wanted to let your worthless web site know what kind of damage you've caused.
Mr. Silverback had a massive coronary last Friday, and just barely managed to reach a phone and call 911. Since your page was displayed on his screen when the paramedics arrived, I can only assume that it was laughter at the idea that Marvin the Martian would have a hope in the world against the MiB and the strain overtaxed his heart. He will be all right and should be on his feet before your next match, but he is under my strict orders to avoid your sad excuse for a website.
You should be ashamed of yourselves! the man has a wife and 14 kids to support for Pete's sake!
The MIB have it hands down. Marvin is just one cartoon alien, the Men In Black have beaten hordes of cartoon style alien in their movie, in their comic, and in their cartoon. I mean sure, they aren't as tough as a Toon, but they are much meaner. I mean really, they are our first, last, and best line of defense.....they are the Men In Black! Did I mention Will Smith rules?
Smiling Jack writes:
Are you kidding? With the Main Man Tommy Lee Jones in the same corner with the not once but twice(!) alien butt-kicker Will Smith? Marvin might as well bend over and kiss his Ass (or whatever he has under that skirt) goodbye on this one!
Although Jay makes an interesting point about MIB being more fragile than your average Looney Tunes character, he's forgetting one thing: Spielberg. Remember, MIB was produced by Spielberg who, we must never forget, also brought us the Animanics. Sorry, friends, but no fragility argument can be taken seriously with a legacy like that!
Marvin, however, has time and again looked the UberBunny right in the eyes and refused to back down. Sure, he's never managed to win against Bugs, but so what? Does loosing to Darkseid make Apocalypse a wimp? Even Darkseid would go be reduced to a sucking-his-thumb-while-curled-up-into-a-little-fetal-ball-crying-all-the-while loser in the awesome presence of the mighty B.B. Obviously, the fact that Marvin is still around and still fighting shows that he's got what it takes.
Two minutes against Marvin and the MIB are alphabet soup.