Favorite letter of the Week
Borneo Jimmy writes:
Although I enjoyed "The Nightmare Before Christmas," I went with the Peanuts affiliate on this one. The Great Pumpkin is the rightful King of Halloween, now and forever.
Sure, the G.P. has never actually appeared anywhere, has never displayed (or even been reputed to have) any powers that might prove useful in a battle, and lacks the army of monsters that do Jack Skellington's bidding in Halloween Town. But the sad fact is that Halloween Town isn't all it's cracked up to be, and neither is Jack, and neither is "The Nightmare before Christmas."
For one thing, the monsters in Halloween Town are largely incompetent. The vampires have annoying, high-pitched voices and spend their time playing broom hockey on frozen ponds. The guy in overalls with a hatchet stuck in his head sees the Easter Bunny as a cuddly pet, rather than something to strangle. Lock, Shock, and Barrel are the least reliable minions any evil master ever had. And Jack himself is a misguided, lovestruck oaf who could never have ascended to the Pumpkin Kingship had his fellow citizens included any real contenders. Hell --- he doesn't even *like* being the Pumpkin King. And the songs in his movie really, really suck; Danny Elfman should have retired after "Weird Science." Finally, and perhaps most importantly, "The Nightmare Before Christmas" is NOT a Halloween movie. It is a CHRISTMAS movie. It was first released at Christmas. It occurs during the Christmas season.
The G.P. is an impersonal, enigmatic force who embodies the "sincere" spirit of Halloween. He does not chase after stitched-up zombie girls or wish that he were Santa Claus. He looks down upon the kids and pumpkin patches of Earth, and, if he finds them wanting, he simply "passes them by." Ooooh, that's cold!
Plus his music is great --- Vince Gueraldi's Peanuts theme vs. Danny Elfman? Forget about it! And the Peanuts Halloween special will never be dethroned as the greatest Halloween special of all time.
So here's how the battle will go: Jack and his subjects will hide in a pumpkin patch waiting to bushwhack the G.P. as soon as he "arises." But he never will, because he will see them waiting there, find them "insincere," as "pass them by." When Jack realizes he has been passed by, he will break down and cry, just like the big girl's blouse that he is, and start making plans to take over some more congenial holiday, like Thanksgiving. Match over.
Crazy Joe the Mook writes:
Easiest choice ever. Jack Skelington will win, because the great Pumpkin doesn't exist. They couldn't even find a picture of "IT" for this contest. I mean c'mon we've photographed Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Moster and a couple of alien craft, but this so called GREAT Pumpkin has never been seen. Santa we've seen. Toothfairy leaves money. Easter Bunny eggs. What did the great pumpkin do but rob Sally of her Halloween. I think Linus has been sucking that blanket of his too long and needs to wash it the fumes are going to his head
D. Merzel writes:
Hail the great pumpkin. He will turn the opposition into another sack stuffer.
1) Jack is obviously slack, He attempts to expand to christmas showing a lack of dedication to the true meaning of halloween. While The great one rises only on all hallows eve
2) followers. jack has a town of claymation that follows his orders ineptly. The pumpkin has the prophet linus, a fanatic who against all odd spreads the message. We are talking employees vs a true believer here (i smell jihad) plus the peanuts crew is out for revenge against south park and what better time than this night
(charlie brown; "now we rise again")
3) finally the ledgend of sleepy hollow. The Great pumpkin is obviously the headless horsemans head. This is a solider who gave his life for his country. To protect his realm from the usurper he will not rest (well he is one of the restless dead)
And the great pumpkin shall rise
The Rock writes:
Yeah, right, like Jack won't win this one. Jack is the king of Halloween, and the "Not-so-great Pumpkin" is nothing more than a figment of the imagination of a little kid who won't even stand up to his jerk of a big sister, Lucy.
Jack is going to kick some pumpkin butt and keep his title of "Halloween Champion of the World," and that's the way it is.
All I have to say is this:
Jack Skellington dashed the hopes of every child on christmas, had a change of heart, and saved the day. Sure, he *CAN* be sadistic..but its just not his forte.
The Great Pumpkin REPEATEDLY dashes the hopes and dreams of one small boy. If that don't give him what it takes to win, then I don't know what will.
Match goes like this--
Pumpkin is not here.
Pumpkin is not here.
Jack taps his feet impatiently.
Pumpkin is not here.
Jack looks at his watch.
Pumpkin is not here.
Jack wins by default.
Pumpkin never shows up-- I thought you learned that from the cartoon
Don King writes:
Yeah, yeah, I know. Jack Skellington comes from a Tim Burton film, and therefore has any number of assorted freaks, including the Dark Knight himself, backing him up.
But look at what the Great Pumpkin has.
Air support (Snoopy in his Sopwith Camel)
Smoke Screen (All that dust Pigpen generates)
Psychological Warfare (Lucy provides intelligent and insightful psychoanalysis for the bargain price of a shiny nickel)
Personal Security (as in blanket, though he's gotta figure out a way to get it from Linus first)
Franklin, the never to be underestimated Token Black Kid
And finally, the elements of both stealth and surprise.
J. Skellington'll be singing some fruity @$$ song about Halloween when my boy G.P.'ll come up from behind and lay the smackdown in his own personal production of "The You's Mah Bitch Project!"
Jack Skellington has this one 'in the bag'. After all, have any of us actually SEEN the Great Pumpkin in action? As far as I know, the Great Pumpkin has never shown himself to anyone (certainly not to Linus van Pelt, possibly the only person who seriously believes in him).
True, this means the Great Pumpkin has the 'mysterious' edge, but he still won't stand a chance. Even if there IS a sincere pumpkin patch near Khazan, the Great Pumpkin is still recovering from that huge lawsuit from Santa Claus years ago.
Jack Skellington, on the other hand, is in his element. He isn't trying to take over someone else's holiday this time, only trying to hold on to his title of Pumpkin King of Halloween. I believe he'll prevail.
I hear you guys out there. You say "Jack has a whole town on his side, and more power than the Pumpkin. The Pumpkin hasn't even shown up." I say thee "Nay!"
For the almighty, all powerful Great Pumpkin has his very own disciple, Linus. Linus is a master of Blanket-fu, and a true believer. This will essentially become a two on one match, and even if the Pumpkin doesn't show up, Linus is still more powerful than Jack. It'll only be a matter of time before Jack screws up and Linus gets one good hit in, at which point Linus siezes control of the match.
I also recall reading somewhere that the Great Pumpkin was actually a serial killer, but I don't think that's canon, so you can snip this paragraph.
This one is easy. Skellington all the way!!!!!! I mean come on!!! We are talking about a battle between the so called "Great Pumpkin" (who never did squat and is believed in by one person, a thumb sucking, blanket toting weenie) and the Pumpkin King himself, Jack Skellington (Who survived a direct hit bu an anti-aircraft cannon and still saved Santa's fat-ass from the baddest Boogie Man pillowcase ever to contain a bug!!
Little Linus gets his ass beat by Sally every Halloween for making her sit in the damn pumpkin patch waiting for the "Great Pumkin" who never shows. Can you say "Fanatic"? I knew that you could.
Five seconds after this fight starts, Jack will be serving Halloween Town his best recipe ever, "Great Pumpkin PIE"!!!!
And for all you Snoopy fans put there, it ain't got anything to do with the Beagle so don't vote Great Pumpkin on that account. Stick to the facts.
On a final note, Jack has better merchandising, which everyone knows is what it is all about. When was the last time you saw a "Great Pumpkin" toy?
The Pumpkin King will "squash" the Great Pumpkin.
Jeff"T-REX" Hayes writes:
The Great Pumpkin will win because of the gross factor. The Great Pumpkin is not as yuck as Jack.And jack falls apart real easy.This is not much of a fight. Skellington will be outta here faster than nutbread from Gabrielle's pantry or A Robert Patrick movie to home video heck I could make a bunch o euphemisms for this. Trust me on this.
I think Jack should have an easy time winning this match since he's fighting the delusion of a child's overactive imagination! The Great Pumpkin does not exist. The clostest thing Linus ever saw to it was Snoopy with a pumpkin stuck on his head. This fight should really be Linus VS the men in white coats trying to take him to the little rubber room.
Talk about a no-brainer! Kinda hard to have a good fight when your opponent's over 30 years late.
Jack's got this one, no contest. If the gourd shows up, he's pie.
Ok Ok Ok...lemme present as much possible variables as I can to try to figger out how this battle will end...done. FIRST off, I'm tired of all this "Disney sucks and must die" crap. I mean if ya don't like it so much just ignore it. you don't see me lobbying for South Park's cancellation!
Second, merely because we haven't seen the Great Pumpkin show on Peanuts strips doesn't mean he never shows. you'd have to be in every place on earth all at once to wholly deny its existance...not to mention that that prolly wouldn't do ya any good even then, seeing as he seems a supernatural being. But don't get me wrong...I'm wholly partial on this match.
Ok...now then.....this fight ends one of two ways:
The Great Pumpkin places a call to Linus and tells him he'll pop into Linus' "most sincere" patch if he does a little favor. Linus hotlines his bud Charles, who tromps out to his backyard where the Snoop-man rests. Enlisting the eaid of the great World War 1 flying ace, Chuck sends Snoopy off into the desert with a cellular phone. There Snoopy meets his contact...his brother, Spike. Now Spike is tight with Mickey Mouse. He wears his old shoes. So Spike calls up his buddy Mouse and asks a favor. Mickey, corporate symbol of Disney, parent company of Touchstone Pictures, orders Jack to throw the fight lest the Mouse come down on his tail.
The Pumkin shows and buffets Jack with a relentless assault of power to which Jack responds with....well, getting his bottom jaw blown off. Jack turns around a la David Letterman, putting his hands to his face, and when he turns back around...it's the most hideous thing ANYONE has ever seen. Jack calls upon the greats of Replacement Animation, like Ray Harrehausen and George Pal, to boost his spook power, and he becomes a towering behemoth, and, in a move RIGHT out of Fantasia, causes hundreds UPON hundreds of ghosts and ghouls to appear...and attack the pumpkin.
But lemme bring THIS up....who says that these two guys aren't the same being??? I mean, think about it: they're BOTH masters of Halloween, the Great One is seldom seen, Jack has told us, in song, how he's differrent things to differrent people....mayhaps the fight will end in a thrid way...the two of these jokers merge into the giant Great Skellington, the Pumkin Jack, and explode in a pile of fire and screams and hard candy....a truly fitting end for a fitting Halloween battle.
Dark Queen writes:
Happy Halloween to all the loyal Khazan viewers!
Now for the match. First of all, has anyone ever seen this Great Pumkin before? No. And what is the point of flying around to just ONE pumkin patch to give out presents? Hello, that's Santa's job! Besides, the whole point of Halloween is to scare people, not to make tham happy by giving out presents. Sacring the living daylights out of people is what the whole Halloween spirit is all about. (That and getting candy.)
Now for Jack. He has the whole Halloween thing down. Hey, he's the Pumkin King. He can do anything to scare anybody. Sure, maybe he tried to get out of it to do Christmas but that was just a little mid-life crisis type of thing. Besides, how can Charles Schuwaltz beat Tim Burton, the man who gave us other fright fests as Edward Scissorhands, Beetle Juice and the soon to come Sleepy Hollow? Face it, the Great Pumkin has no chance at being the King of Halloween. And besides, how can you beat the great singing voice? But the Great Pumkin can't even talk!
And That's the Bottom Line!
The Great Pumpkin can't lose. You wanna know why? Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway: nobody has ever seen him! So, while Jack is doing his damnedest to scare folks out in the open like he usually does, G.P. will be doing....nothing. And then Jack will begin to worry, and wonder why nothing's happening from his opponent, and then, finally, when he least expects it, the Great Pumpkin will arise, in his true form, hideous beyond words, and scare poor Jack back to Halloweentown. 'Cause what's scarier: the overt, or that ghoul who hasn't shown up yet, the one who let's your imagination run wild...
The REAL Mega-Lunatic writes:
Jack's gonna win easy. I mean, have we ever even SEEN the Great Pumpkin? Linus has been waiting for so long, he's thought to be insane by some! And if the GP does show up, Jack's still gonna kick his big orange butt. Remember that scene in The Nightmare Before Christmas when he fought Oogie Boogie a la James Bond? Genius!
Oooo... this is tough. Two icons of the Halloween season. It all comes down to this: The Great Pumpkin has more in common with ehteral forces like the Force, it's always talked about, but never seen. Jack is just a seemingly immortal talking skeleton. An incredibly cool immortal talking skeleton, but that coolness doesn't take away the notion that he's up against an unseen pressence.