THE SCENARIO

Somewhere in an alternate reality, the threat of Tetsuo was removed from Neo Tokyo by the god Akira. Akira decided to transport Tetsuo into a nearby "dead zone" for safe keeping until Tetsuo could be rehabiltated. But, somehow the evil in Tetsuo's heart allowed him to escape from Akira into a tear in the fabric of time and space... Tetsuo has found himself in a place ripe for destruction and domination, a place where he can indirectly exact revenge on Akira and the universe itself. That place is Khazan. For Khazan is the nexus of all realities, and it's ruin by Tetsuo's hands will surely disrupt the order of the cosmos. To combat this threat, Callisto has searched the countless alternate realities for a champion to take down this threat before he can spread his reign of terror and devastation. She has found that warrior, and pray he can make the difference to save existence as we know it. That man is Goku.

Join us now for a battle we had to call...

THE SPORTS BOX

PAT:   Can I get some action from the back section? Body movin', body mov...

JAY:   What in the hell are you singing?

PAT:   Umm..."Body Movin'." It's a Beastie Boys song and also the name of this week's battle.

JAY:   How can you be singing at a time like this? Tetsuo's on his way, and if Goku doesn't stop him, we're finished in the world of commentating!

PAT:   Maybe MTV's hiring. Oh, hello, everyone. Welcome to this week's match-up of two super-powered titans from the world of anime: Goku vs. Tetsuo. I'm Pat Summers.

JAY:   And I'm Jay Peoples. We're coming to you live from the Khazan Orbiting Space Station(tm), just above the Arena. Tetsuo is now tearing through the countryside on his way to the arena.

PAT:   But, where's Goku? Well, while we're waiting, let's check out some viewer responses.

YOUR OPINIONS

RobF writes:

This is going to go to Goku after a long, hard battle. Goku will be practically torn limb from limb, then, Tetsuo stands over him gloating, Goku suddenly releases some energy he's been holding for a long time that he gathered earlier, but never had a chance to use:

The Mother of All Spirit Bombs (tm)

Yes, formed in Khazan, the nexus of all possibilities, the MoASB won't leave enough left for the janitors to pick up after it hits Tetsuo. Since we're in Khazan, it'll be formed from all the power of all the good people who have ever, or will ever, exist in any reality. That means the Silve Surfer, Duncan MacLoed, Richie Ryan, Conner Macloed, the X-men, the Avengers, the Defenders, the JLA, the Fantastic Four, Gohan, Gotan, Trunks, Krillin, King Kai, the Spectre, the Phantom Stranger, the Sailor Scouts, Voltron, Godzilla, Luke Skywalker, the Force, the Power Cosmic, the GL corps, Arnold Schwartzeneager (pre-Kindergarden Cop), Bruce Lee, Sinbad (the sailor), Hercules, Iolus, Xena, Gabrielle, He-man, She-ra, the Thundercats, Mega Man, the Belmont Clan, the Protoss, the Humans (from Warcraft), Kid Icarus, the Left Paddle, Pacman, Captain N, Sonic, Hulk Hogan, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Captain Kirk, Dr. Spock, Captain Picard, Odo, Sisco, Worf, the good Q's, Johnny Quest, Freakazoid, the SWAT Kats, Mighty Max, Norman, Virgil, Gargoyles, ad infinatum. I could go on for ever about all the people he could summon up power from, but I think you get the idea. Even his psychic shields can't stand up to the a mere fraction of the power held in infinite possible universes. Tetsuo's going down. Hard.

MediaMan writes:

WOW! You used my battle! I thought all the Goku vs Tetsuo rumors were as much a myth as free health care and shiney juice! Thanks guy, you put my wrath to rest. Except for one fact. You didn't give Tetsuo nearly enough credit. Not only can he put up telekinetic shields with his UNLIMITED PSYCHIC ENERGY he can produce energy blasts that literally levels nations, he TOO can teleport AND move extremely fast JUST LIKE GOKU! Unlike Goku he can actually survive in a hard vaccum and has energy disruption powers to match! He can drain Goku's energy blasts like they were milkshakes. IF they ever manage to get through his shields, which he probably will not. I am somewhat sad that you are allowing Goku to go into Super-Seyan form, because then Tetsuo should be able to go into his "god-like mode seen at the end of the movie" as well. Overall, Tetsuo can match Goku blow for blow and then win by a long long Fabio hair. TEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSUUUUUOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yea, before I forget, Tetsuo can ALSO take an obscene amount of damage even WITHOUT his energy shields. He took a S.O.L. blast head on the first time when he was caught unaware. He's been crushed by stadiums. He's taken on the three OTHER most powerful psychics in the world! Goku will lose! He MUST lose! If he wins, all my anime preconceptions will be shattered and I may well suffer a mental breakdown! DO IT FOR THE SAKE MY MY MENTAL HEALTH! VOTE FOR TETSUO BECAUSE MY SANITY DEPENDS ON IT!

Lemur writes:

It sounds like a tough call at first . . . but with a little consideration, the winner is obvious. In the Akira manga, Tetsuo flies to the moon and drags back a cloud of rocks to show off. I Dragonball, characters less powerful than Goku go around -atomizing- the goddamn moon. This'll be a hell of a fight, but the outcome is obvious: Goku will put the mighty smack down on Tetsuo's psychic biker ass.

Gregory writes:

Normally I don't comment on these matches I just vote but this one... come on Goku is a gimme. He's without question on of the most powerful beings on a physical plane to ever exist. More powerful than even King Kia. One Spirit Bomb and Forehead Lad will be so much dust. What good is tk against the KudoKen attack in whick Goku is moving with the speed of thought, you can't affect what you can't see... Hell, Piccalo could smash Forehead Lad... can you say "Beam Cannon"...

The Colonel writes:

Tetsuo's LOSING? Oh, come on! Tetsuo nearly took out the entire universe if Akira didn't pull him out in the nick of time! Gooky, er Goku, even with Super Sayan, is an overrated character who can blow up planets at best. This isn't a match, it's a call to dinner - for Tetsuo, that is. Goku's gonna be so much dead meat. His blood pressure will increase to the degree where *pop*, he just blows up. Sure, he's a match for the other super-powered goons on DragonBall, but are any of them in possession of telekenetic powers that place them in the same league as God? Didn't think so. If you're talking about the animated Tetsuo and Goku, then you've got a pretty even match, but Tetsuo's still too powerful for Goku to beat. This is pretty much Doomsday vs Superman at this level. If you're talking about the manga Goku and Tetsuo, all bets are off. Goku is only so much stronger than his Japanese comic book self, while Tetsuo is much more fraggin' powerful. And much more ruthless. Heck, he even eliminated an entire international navy force sent out to destroy him in under 10 minutes!. The manga Tetsuo will not give a moment's thought to kill Goku, especially as he killed some of his former friends with less hesitation than his animated movie self. Heck, the manga Tetsuo took no crap, period. Goku's in for a nasty surprise. To summarise things again, here's a comparison on how things may go: 1. Animated Tetsuo vs Animated Goku = Doomsday vs Post-Crisis Superman
2. Manga Comics Tetsuo vs Manga Comics Goku = GALACTUS vs Silver Age Superman In short, Goku's gonna get a few shots in, but he'll be a small snack by the time Tetsuo's finished with him.

Eddie Filth writes:

I'm going for Goku on this one(sorry Justicar,I know how you hate DBZ).Goku's skill in fighting enemies of equal power such as Tetsuo gives Goku an edge plus,the Spirit Bomb would able to do serious damdge if not kill Tetsuo.While I think Akira is a great but I'm gonna have to with Goku.

Lady Alhana Brightblade writes:

This is going to be the longest battle ever. I don't know how many others notice this, but the Dragonball people are like the masters of stretching out one battle scene. It has to take like 50 episodes to kill a lackey. Oh well, with that being said, Goku will win. He always finds a way to gather up enough energy just in time to save the universe from total annihilation. It's like his gift. Not only that, but he has 50 billion friends just waiting to bail him out, even if interference is against the rules (I've never known Piccolo to care for rules). I mean, his friends may not be as powerful as he is, but they come pretty close. And with all of them together, one should just hope they don't destroy the world while they are trying to save it.

Oberoni writes:

Wow, you sure picked two anime powerhouses for this fight! While the destruction Tetsuo unleashed in Akira was colossal, it's simply nowhere near the magnitude of Gokou's power. In just the first season of Dragon Ball Z, Gokou repelled an energy blast by his enemy Vegeta that would have completely destroyed Earth. Now, of course, Gokou is far more powerful than that, especially with his ability to go into his Super Saiyan form. Tetsuo, on the other hand, didn't even manage to level a single city (although he did come close). Even if his power level was the same as the great Gokou's, the Saiyan has two things going for him: He has precise control of his power, and he is a remarkable physical warrior as well. By contrast, Tetsuo lost the grip on his abilities near the end of Akira, and his physical body was still near the level of a human's until he did. And, of course, I barely have to mention the vast differences in stamina the two have. Gokou's been hit by so many energy beams that could level cities (and states...and continents...even planets), he probably gets a buzz from it by now. Tetsuo, on the other hand, was really hurt when his former NORMAL HUMAN friend fired a frickin' shoulder cannon at him! Come on! More power, greater speed, martial arts mastery, and near invincibility...Tetsuo doesn't beat out Gokou in a single category. Gokou will smoke Tetsuo faster than you can scream KAMEHAMEHA!

Gaijin D writes:

After countless debates and numerous headaches, the readership of rec.arts.anime.misc has implemented a guideline for all Stupid Fight Threads(TM): Goku always wins. If you want reasons, hell, you can have those too. Tetsuo can be shot by a laser rifle, and it will hurt him. Goku can withstand things that would total planets or worse, without even slight discomfort. Goku could destroy a good portion of the universe with one blast, at least. Tetsuo maxed out at a couple square miles of Neo-Tokyo. Frankly, the fight would probably go like this: Tetsuo throws something heavy at Goku. It falls apart spectacularly, leaving a large cloud of dust which obscures Goku's position. When it clears, Goku is standing there without so much as a rip in his gi. He blinks, shrugs, and then hits Tetsuo with a Kamehameha so big, there isn't enough of Tetsuo left to regenerate. I like Tetsuo well enough, but he's just not in the same league as DBZ characters. Chaozu could probably ice him. But, hey! The backgroug music will surely kick ass.

Ring-a-ding writes:

PLEASE...KILL ME NOW!!!!!!!!! Both of these characters suck so much that my freaking moniter almost got the best of me. Down with Anime! Down with Anime! Down with Anime! Come on I know you can say it...Down with Anime!

Editor's note : Hmmm...do they keep you chained in the cellar all the time, or just until you get those pink pills that stop you from screaming?

MDeeley writes:

I always thought Testuo WAS Akira, that he wielded the supreme psychic power. Even still, I have to pick the guy who can stop tank shells with his mind over the puny kung-fu guy.

Ajota writes:

It took the power of a god to stop Tetsuo before. No mere mortal, no matter how good, can defeat him

Southern Fist writes:

Tetsuo is truly a powerful individual. His powers are staggering and beyond comprehension. However, he has not been trained to use his power and his partial insanity will lead to his destrustion at the hands of goku. Goku, is traiend to use his abilities to the full hieght of their potential and as such he will be the victor. Plus, if all else failss he can stab tetsuo with his spikey hair.

THE BATTLE

JAY:   A lot of emotion surrounding this battle, eh, Pat?

PAT:   There sure is Jay. Well, since Goku hasn't shown up, some of the heroes of Khazan have begun a search for the legendary Dragon Balls, in case Goku can't take out the psychic.

JAY:   Also on hand is a group of Earth's defenders who are keeping Tetsuo at bay until Kakerot gets here.

PAT:   Piccolo, Krillin, and Gohan are doing their best, but it doesn't seem to bother Tetsuo. Let's get closer with our sideline commentator, Silver Surfer.

Silver Surfer:   Well, guys, the Dragon Ball Z gang is holding up fairly well against Tetsuo. Their attacks aren't doing much damage, though. I'll get closer so you can hear what they're saying.

Krillin:   This guy's worse than Vegita. Where's Goku? He shoulda been here by now.

Krillin:   I don't know, Krillin, but we have to keep this guy distracted until Goku does get here. Krillin, Gohan, keep him distracted: I'm going to try something.

Krillin and Gohan:   You got it!

JAY:   Krillin and Gohan have both blasted up several thousand feet into the air. Energy is crackling around their hands. They simultaneously release massive energy blasts.

Blasts:   KABOOM!

PAT:   I think they got him! There's only a cloud of dust where Tetsuo was standing.

JAY:   But, wait, Tetsuo's still alive! He used his telekinetic powers to parry the blasts! Krillin and Gohan are stunned! They both dive bomb Tetsuo with a flurry of punches and kicks.

PAT:   Unfortunately, Tetsuo's shields are preventing the two from getting close to him.

Piccolo:   Thanks, guys. That's all I needed! MAKANKOSAPPO!

JAY:   Piccolo just let loose a blast from two of his fingers! The Makankosappo is what he used to defeat Radditz! This has got to work!

PAT:   What the...Tetsuo absorbed it? That thing is supposed to level mountains, and he ABSORBED it? Well, we're screwed.

JAY:   Don't get upset; Goku still hasn't arrived yet.

Tetsuo:   Fools! Do you really think you can stop me from conquering Khazan? And where's this Goku loser? Too chicken to face me? Hmm...maybe I need a hostage.

JAY:   Tetsuo has flung Piccolo and Krillin into Studio 747. (*sniff*) I'm gonna miss that place. We commentated on our first match there. Ow, why'd you jab me?

PAT:   No reason, and we've never done a broadcast from there. It was those two benevolent aliens, Kang and Kodos. Remember?

PAT:   Oh, yeah. Anyway, Tetsuo's got a hold of Gohan in a telekinetic force field and is laughing maniacally.

Gohan:   Wait till my dad gets here, you bully! He'll show you!

Tetsuo:   Ooooh...the pipsqueak is making threats? Well, since you're daddy has chickened out, maybe I'll have some fun with you instead.

JAY:   Hold on a second...do you see that blur heading towards Tetsuo?

PAT:   The blur has knocked Gohan from harm's way.

JAY:   Surfer, is that Goku?

Silver Surfer:   It sure is, guys. He's here to take out the trash.

Goku:   I don't know who you are, pal, but no one threatens my family.

Tetsuo:   Bring it on, you spikey haired freak!

PAT:   Tetsuo's trying to catch Goku in his telekinesis, but Goku's too fast for him. He's moving at break-neck speed around Tetsuo, punching and kicking the shield and looking for weaknesses.

JAY:   Unfortunately, Tetsuo's psionic energy is evenly distributed throughout his shields. Tetsuo's using his powers to pick up a steel beam from the disco's wreckage and used it to trip Goku.

PAT:   He's wrapping the metal around Goku. Goku's struggling to get free.

JAY:   Goku has used his strength to snap the metal like a twig.

Tetsuo:   GOKU!

Goku:   What?

Tetsuo:   GOKU!

Goku:   What is your problem? Why do you keep screaming my name?

Tetsuo:   I DON'T KNOW!

PAT:   Tetsuo's picked up the entire wreckage of the disco and used the distraction of his screaming to drop the entire building on Goku!

JAY:   The disco must be embedded a hundred feet into the ground.

PAT:   Looks like Tetsuo's going over to examine his carnage.

JAY:   He's laughing and using his powers to remove the disco wreckage. That crater is huge.

Tetsuo:   Let that be a lesson to all who challenge my...

Goku:   KAMEHAMEHA!

PAT:   Ouch! Tetsuo was on the receiving end of a surprise energy blast from Goku. He sure wasn't expecting that.

JAY:   The blast has sent Tetsuo into orbit...directly for the space station!

PAT:   Goku and Silver Surfer are blasting after Tetsuo to ensure he doesn't return to Khazan.

JAY:   Tetsuo has regained his composure and is throwing passing asteroids at Goku.

PAT:   Goku's too fast for that though! He's bobbing and weaving! He's punching and kicking those rocks into atoms.

JAY:   Tetsuo's coming straight for Goku.

Tetsuo:   I'll crush you like an insect!

Goku:   This ends now! KAMEHAMEHA!

PAT:   Goku's blast goes through Tetsuo, hitting Silver Surfer! The Surfer's being flung out into deep space!

JAY:   Goku's flying after him in an attempt to bring him back to the space station

PAT:   But, wait. What's Tetsuo up to? He's crackling with so much energy, my eyebrows are vibrating.

JAY:   Oh my gosh! He's using his telekinesis to grab two of Khazans nearby uninhabited moons.

PAT:   Is he...he wouldn't...he is! That sneaky bastard is going to smash Goku between those two planetoids!

Moons:   CRASH!

JAY:   It looks like Goku's finished. Tetsuo's cackling and headed back to Khazan to exact his revenge and destroy existence itself.

PAT:   Been nice knowin' you, Jay.

JAY:   You, too, Pat. We should probably clean out our desks before Tetsuo destroys reality.

PAT:   Yeah...wait, look at the moons. They're starting to crack as if under some enormous strain.

Moons:   KABOOM!

JAY:   It's Goku! He's still alive. He's not looking too happy.

PAT:   I'd say he looks royally PO'd.

Goku:   TETSUO! Here's a little present for you. King Kai taught me this one. I call it the Genki Dama, The Spirit Bomb!

JAY:   Oh, jeez. When Goku uses this, he takes in all of the energy from pure beings in the world and from nature itself. And since Khazan is the nexus of all realities...

PAT:   That's what I call a big-ass Genki Dama!

JAY:   Tetsuo's turned around to see the Venus-sized ball of pulsing energy coming for him.

Tetsuo:   Mommy!!

Spirit Bomb:   KABLAM!!!

PAT:   Tetsuo's engulfed in the golden light of the Spirit Bomb.

JAY:   Telekinesis couldn't stop that one, Pat. His body's,(or should I say what's left of it) is plummeting towards the Arena.

PAT:   Oh, look, the scout parties have brought us the Dragon Balls. How convenient.

THE FINAL VOTE

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

Goku: 728

Tetsuo: 338

THE WRAP UP

Masks:   RIP!!!

KANG:   Fools! We have tricked you into giving us the Dragon Balls pretending to be Pat and Jay. Now we wield unlimited power!!! BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

KODOS:   Ummm...brother?

KANG:   Not now, sister. Can't you see I'm gloating? Where was I? Ah, yes...BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

KODOS:   KANG!

KANG:   What do you wa...oh. Hi, Goku! Weren't you just outside? Man, you're fast. Umm...guess you want these back, huh? Here you go. Did anyone ever tell you that your hair is just fantastic. I'm serious...Run, sister, to the escape pod!

KODOS:   You've won this time, Khazan, but we'll be back.
Pictures for this weeks big fight came from:

Goku

Tetsuo

DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:

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Tetsuo (TM) is the property (c) of (?)

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles