Rule Number One: Place Keys In Pocket

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Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Taylorsville, Utah. Bozo David Harris walked into the local credit union, claimed to have a gun and demanded cash. Things were going well as he ran out of the bank, carrying the cash in a bag. Then, his troubles began. He got to the getaway car only to discover he had left his keys inside the credit union. He then decided to flee on foot, but the bag got caught on something and ripped open, sending cash flying everywhere. All this activity attracted the attention of bystanders, who were able to tell the cops where our bozo had fled. He was quickly captured and placed under arrest, less much of the cash, which authorities believe may have gone down a storm drain.