If Only He’d Stolen a Box of Band Aids

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Bozo criminal for today comes from Port Richey, Florida, where bozo John Cates had a plan. He went down to the local Sears store, gathered up a number of items and, using a box cutter, took the price tags off of them. In doing so, however, he managed to cut himself. He stuffed the items into his pockets and headed to the bathroom. Once there, the sight of his own blood was just too much for him, and he passed out. And that’s where the security guard found him, on the bathroom floor, surrounded by price tags and covered in blood. He’s been charged with theft and possession of marijuana.