Bozo criminal for today comes from Eastlake, Ohio, where police were called to a report of a disturbance at a tobacco store and even the cops were surprised by what they found. Inside the store was our highly intoxicated bozo who was carrying on a rather one-sided discussion with a bag of tobacco. Witnesses said before he began talking to the tobacco he had tried to engage a bottle of vodka in a discussion. Drunken bozo was taken to jail, where, a few minutes after his arrival, he professed his love for the urinal. He’s been charged with disorderly conduct and intoxication.