bozo criminals for today come from Hot Springs, Arkansas where bozos John Hardy and Kevin Traylor tried to steal a boat. It was a nice one, too, 44 feet long and worth about $110,000. Unfortunately, it sounds like neither one of them qualified for a captain’s license. They managed to catch the engine on fire before getting the boat stuck in shallow water. Then, in their beer-induced frenzy, instead of trying to get away, they set off flares in hopes of being rescued, even though they were only 30 feet from shore. They were rescued, all right, by the cops.