Dead characters and the stories of their spectacular demise. Sorted by name.

To the Mortuary:
A—E
F—J
K—O
P—T
U—Z

Submit a character to the Mortuary.


Dead RPG Characters with names starting with A - E :

A.C. Stone

Game System: Shadowrun
Occupation: Former Company Man
Player: Jakko Westerbeke
Gender: Male
Race: Dwarf (with a bald head and a funky-colored beard)
Date of Birth: unknown
Date of Death: March 3, 2055
Place of Death: In the cellar of a warehouse in Seattle.

Cause of Death: The PCs were hired to find a missing girl, though the other players didnt know Stone was actually paid to kill her. When we found her in that cellar, he shot her through the head with his cyberarm-shotgun, and then had to take on the other PCs (a wounded troll samurai and an unwounded elf decker). The troll was easy: one shot in the face and she went down. The elf, however, had a monowhip and used it quite effectively to surgically remove Stones head from the rest of his body...

Epitaph: Chris can be proud of me!
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Achmed Peterson

Game System: Twilight:2000Twilight:2000 by GDW
Occupation: Former American Crimainal
Player: Tom Beveridge
Gender: Male
Race: American Human
Date of Birth: March 12th ,1946
Date of Death: October of 2000 (dates unknown due to the war)
Place of Death: American Checkpoint in Czechoslovakia

Cause of Death: While travaling south from Poland, Achmed and the rest of the party was stopped at an American checkpoint just after the border. The commanding officer at the checkpoint was not too happy with the idea of allowing Achmed to pass. What is wrong with wearing a Kevlar vest covered with the bones of past victims placed at appropriate locations? The man in charge was not going to let Achmed through, but he was going to let others in the party to go through. The little french guy who was only allowed through if he could take a shot from an M-16 rifle, and a quiet American soldier in the army. Achmed and a friendly female got back into the HEAVILY modified 5 ton truck (that was covered with spikes all over the surface) and turned around. (At this point the GM leans over to the player who plays the quiet American Soldier and says, "Hey Matt, shoot Tom". Matt says, "uh, ok.") The American raised his Carl Gustav rocket laucher and fired it towards the vehicle moving away. The missle hit, but it had hit high and had gone through the cargo storage areas and the windshield (It was a cargo vehicle and the lighter hull towards the top did not detonate the shell) and had left a whole through the vehicle. Achmed turned the vehicle around and turned on the high beams of the truck (the front of the truck was a visage of the grim reaper and the highbeams made the "eyes" glowed). The American officer said the the trigger happy American (while he was reloading mind you), "Oh, man! Now you did it! Now you made him mad! He was going away and now you made him mad!". Achmed was sitting up on the road and was revving the v-16 engine. The accompaining female was about to get out of the truck when the power locks slammed down and Achmed said, "Buckle up, Sweetheart." He had used about 6 sets of straps to hold him in place. The American soldier fired the Carl Gustav yet again, this time going wide and missing. The trucks engine dropped from neutral to drive and the engine roared to life. A vehicle that large with those features moving towards a person can be quite intimidating. The solo American was reloading yet again, while the other Americans were preparing their own rocket to deal with the current threat. The truck got within 80 meters of the checkpoint and the twin M-136 gatling guns mounted on the vehicle blared to life, putting 1000 rounds of 7.62 mm machinegun fire into the air. Two bursts hit the sole instigator of this conflict and the other, missed shots killed many of the Americans at the checkpoint. The burst hit one leg a peice and shredded both of the limbs, causing him to drop his rocket launcher. However, the Americans had manged to launch a rocket from their Dragon PIP, which had, unfourtunatly, impacted against the vehicle killing Achmed instantly. The truck weight twelve tons (including all the modifications) and had three more tons of materials on board, including 1000 liters of diesel fuel and about ten thousand rounds for the guns. Needless to say, the quiet American may have lived (albeit without legs) had the 15 tons of flaming, spiky metal moving at extremly high speeds had not rolled over what was left of his body. Nobody, ever messed with Achmed, and lived.

Epitaph: Nobody messed with Achmed, and lived!
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Agurt Sloan

Game System: AD&D into 3rd Ed.
Occupation: Preist
Player: John
Gender: Male
Race: Gnome
Date of Birth: ???
Date of Death: ???
Place of Death: Cave in the Mountains South of Anauroch

Cause of Death: We were trying to find a way to destroy or at least permanently hide the Hand of Vecna, we got a lead on a Sphere of Annihilation in the Arauroch desert. On the way there we came across a small village that had been losing miners in a mine south of town. The men were found later ether dead or soon to be with severe neck wounds and blood loss, no one was ever attacked out side of the mine. We figure vamps, and go in silver glinting, after a bit of exploring we find a spot were the miner had broke into a natural cave. We sneak in hoping to get the surprise. What we find is that our "Vamp" is actually a Were-Bat, and after a severe battle in which we find that the silver doesnt work and that, thanks to a Halfling with a sling and an iron ore rock, iron does. By this point most of our group is still at near full HP but, All of the Healing has been spent. Anyway the beat sticks get some of the iron picks the miners left and make some hefty hits causing the Beast to retreat, up an old vertical mine shaft that was connected to the cave, the cave apparently was once part of a mine that was unknown to the towns folk. The group was still doing good except I had used my healing on others leaving me with 3 HP. We started up the shaft with the intention of finishing off the beast. While climbing the shaft the Beast pushed an old mine cart down the shaft. There was a rope that was hanging from the roof. And all but the Bard and I made our checks to jump and grab it thus dodging the cart. The Bard cast feather fall, I fell. Here is the funny part, I hit the ground drop to -7, the cart hit me, drop to -19, then being the good Gnome I was, my 7 bottles of Alchemist fire explode, destroying everything, and the kicker I was carrying the party fund which was the bulk of our money, now gone in a ball of hot slag.

Epitaph: "Poor little Agurt, ,that must of really hurt, being smashed into the dirt." also Self cremating gnome
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Al-Kebir

Game System: Call of Cthulhu
Occupation: Guard at a Local Sanitarium
Player: Jake
Gender: M
Race: Human
Date of Birth: 1906
Date of Death: 1932
Place of Death: The caverns beneath an old haunted house somewhere in the Midwest of Depression-Era America.

Cause of Death: While attempting to solve the mystery behind a mysterious murder, a group of amatuer investigators (One of whom, Al-Kebir, was a guard at the local sanitarium where the madman[Who was one of the people who died, apparently by suicide] who owned a mysterious haunted house resided) entered a mysterious haunted house, which had a large system of caverns underneath it. (It should be noted here that in CoC, each time a character sees a sign of the power of Cthulhu they lose sanity points.) While searching the caverns, Al-Kebir became understandably distraught, as he was seeing the same sort of delusions as some of the patients at his sanitarium saw. His mental stability decreased more and more until he ended up battling his own teammates to the death. It was a cool game.

Epitaph: Last words: "Grrnnnnnhhhh!"
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Alderas

Game System: Star Wars D20
Occupation: Soldier
Player: Stew VB
Gender: Male
Race: Chiss
Date of Birth: 10 B.E. (before Endor)
Date of Death: about 12 A.E.
Place of Death: An alley on Nar Shada

Cause of Death: While trying to kill the Hutt Lord that had a bounty on his head, he was attacked by two assassin droids. He and his partner succeeded in offing both droids, but he was out of power packs. He attempted to pry the covers off the droids to get to their internal power supply. He somehow got the panel off just in time to see the self destruct timer hit 0. The explosion didn’t kill him, but the wall on the other side of the street did.

Epitaph: I HATE DROIDS!!!
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Aldric

Game System: AD&D, 2nd Edition
Occupation: Thief
Player: Dally
Gender: Male
Race: Elf
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: Some 200 odd years later.
Place of Death: Tower of Wayreth

Cause of Death: Well, after having led three full parties to their deaths n varius ways, Aldric decided it was time for him to hide his elven behind in some place that no one would ever find him. Ever. So he dicded to go where no one else ever could, or would. The tower of Wayreth. he tricked a powerfull wizard into giving him an amulet that would allow him to travel through the woods to the tower unaffected by the fear. he hamde it to the tower, thinking he was going to set up there for a while, and use some of his magical trickets to make himself at home. Unknown to him, Raistlin had already arrived, and was very angry at having been disturbed. Raistlin met him at the gates, and ordered him to leave. Aldric, not knowing who Raistlin was, refused, saying "Make me you worthless human". needless to say, Aldric was no match for Raistlin, and quickly found himself at the mercy of Raistlin. Aldric, never having been the bright one, continued to isult Raistil using every insult he had ever heard any kender say. One of them set Raistlin off, and Raistlin decided a most cruel punishment for him. He transformed Aldric into a small statue, and teleported it into kendermore. Aldric is now a small statue of a human, being passed around kendermore from kender to kender until the curse is lifted. Sadly, the only way for the curse to be lifted, is if the knder that has him, brings him back to Wayreth without managing to give him away, lose him, or otherwise misplace him.

Epitaph: Shoulda kept my bloody mouth shut.
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Alura Silvermoon

Game System: AD&D/Shadowrun
Occupation: Mage
Player: John Honeycutt
Gender: Female
Race: Moon Elf
Date of Birth: 1647 (elvin calander)
Date of Death: unknown
Place of Death: Seattle 2064 (Shadowrun)

Cause of Death: Lost in a magic garden she created in an attempt to revive the old gods and strengthen the Elemental races no one knows if she lives on, or died

Epitaph: Care for the little ones. For thru their eyes I shall be ever vigilent.
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Andrea "Megaira" Michaels (vraag maar niet, ik heb een zwakke plek voor de Griekse mythologie :)

Game System: Shadowrun
Occupation: Decker
Player: Martin Steffens
Gender: Female
Race: Elf
Date of Birth: 20 April 2031
Date of Death: 9 June 2055
Place of Death: Under a car somewhere in the Barrens.

Cause of Death: After attacking a ganger and killing him with her mono-whip, she was then attacked by an invisible troll with a combat-axe while at the same time a city spirit used the confusion power on her. Incredibly, she held out for one round, and then opted to dive under a car. There she managed to hold out for another three turns, dodging bursts from a SMG, but then the spirit finally got the better of her and she failed to act. A quick burst from the troll then finished her of, moments before her friends got rid of the other opposition and could help her...

Epitaph: She was the most dangerous fighter we had, but tactics were never her strong point...
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Anginon

Game System: AD&D3rd ed
Occupation: Sorcerer/fighter
Player: Scott
Gender: male
Race: human
Date of Birth: unk
Date of Death: some time later
Place of Death: the sunless citadel

Cause of Death: while exploring the citadel, anginon got into a fight with the partys monk, Quareth, causing some subdual dmg. (the monk was knocked out for a bit, but he got some good hits in too) later on they came across a sarcofigus & decided to open it, though they really should have healed first. inside was a troll who promply tryed to kill the party. the troll hit anginon & knocked him out, quareth & the pary theif, Dyra fled the across a pit & tryed to kill the troll via long range tactics. Dyra comes up with some home made molitove coctailes using oil & rags and chucks it at the troll, who is moving the unconces anginon to the pit. The oil hit the troll, and burned him, but, also burned, and killed, Anginon. Dyra didnt really care, she had plans to off him later anyway.

Epitaph: Your death wasnt in vain, we killed the troll too.
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Anonymous

Game System: Twilight: 2000
Occupation: U.S. Navy SEAL machine gunner
Player: Jakko Westerbeke
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: 1994
Place of Death: Outside an underground bunker, Haiti.

Cause of Death: He got shot in the head while trying to dive for cover underneath a Haitian army truck, after first running up a staircase down which hand grenades were thrown (and that was after charging a tank and mowing down 100+ Haitian soldiers with an M249 :).

Epitaph: Ah, those were the days...
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Aravilar

Game System: D&D
Occupation: Cleric of Lathandar
Player: Jon
Gender: male
Race: moon elf
Date of Birth: unknown
Date of Death: unknown
Place of Death: goblin-commanded dwarf mine

Cause of Death: As he entered the mine (tanking for 2 worthless human sorcerors, yeah, and elf, tanking) his first action was to check a rubbish pile, in which he found 4 dire rats that surprise attacked him, 2 of which got critical hits and all caused disease. His friends could not heal him, and were crappy at saving throws. So the tanking elf died, after taking his first action ever, being killed by rats. WTF

Epitaph: MY CLAVIN! YOU RUPTURED MY CLAVIN!
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Are Krish-na "Clark Kent"

Game System: Rifts/Phase World
Occupation: Cosmo Knight
Player: Canek Castillo
Gender: Male
Race: Noro
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: 02 post-apocalipse
Place of Death: It has not yet been determined... maybe in the heart of an active volcano, maybe in the north pole... Who knows?

Cause of Death: Oh he was a champion of Justice and Truth!!! After seeing his fellow PCs obliterate a village in a primitive (yes, quite primitive: iron age) world, he tried to cosmo-blast them into molecules. Unfortunately, he just managed to kill the bartender and destroy the games room of the Piolin (Space-Freaks light pleasure cruiser) (infuriating the rest of the crew (not for the bartender (theyre cheap), but for the games room (it even had a pool table (sob, sob)))). Then, seeing his mischievous deed, Jethro (the self-proclaimed demagoge and paranoid leader) teleported him, to the heart of an active volcano, then to the north pole of the (really primitive) planet, then back to the volcano, and so on... (no more than 15 times)

Epitaph: Here lies "Icy-Hot-Clark-Kent" Are Krish-na, fried in the Cosmic Forge. Note 1: This grave stone has been written by the G.M. (el Clerigo) and Jethro (Freedom). Note 2: A copy of this epitaph has been sent to the Reeaallly Primitive Planet.
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Argon The Destroyer

Game System: AD&D, 1st ed Greyhawk
Occupation: Fighter
Player: Stephen
Gender: Male
Race: Half-Elf
Date of Birth: 700 ce
Date of Death: 1200 ce
Place of Death: Dungeon of Thenaria

Cause of Death: Relatively strong party, DM getting us ready to go to Module WG4, we stop at a tavern that night. Eat, drink, very happy, sleazy bar maids, you get the idea. Oh my, we are all passed out, poisoned wine. We drank so much, the DM said rolling saves was not logical. So, we are now all naked and gagged in the dungeon of our foe. Our equipment outside of our cell and reach. Ironically, the foes henchman is a kobold shaman, decides to torture us, but removes the thiefs gag to hear him scream. Not being up on the effects of staffs, a few roles of dice for reactions, our ingenius thief talks the kobold into breaking the wizards staff of magi. It will just kill the kobold right? Boom! No more dungeon.

Epitaph: Does the term DM Guide mean anything to you?
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Arioch Shadowmoon

Game System: AD&D
Occupation: Cleric/Ranger
Player: Derek Smith
Gender: Male
Race: Drow elf (before R.A. Salvatores Drizzt DoUrden)
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: Unknown
Place of Death: Desert of Desolation, Lost Tomb of Martek.

Cause of Death: Dragged into an endless pit by shadows. Arioch managed to find a ledge within the pit to fight from and killed several shadows before numeous wounds forced him to make a life threatening decision. Rather than make one more futile atack, Arioch threw [I suppose he threw himself in the bottomless pit, but it was cut off here :( But doesnt that mean that, technically, he isnt dead? If so, whats he doing here...? :) —Gurth]

Epitaph: He left his homeland to be free from oppression, and gave his life so that others could experience the same freedom.
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Armorgone

Game System: AD&D Forgotten Realms
Occupation: Fighter
Player: Rusty Miller
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: 18 year after birth
Place of Death: Unknown

Cause of Death: Being turned to a badger by Mystra who was disguised as a witch, when the Kendar told her I was annoying. Even though he saved her from a giant frog and gave her healing potion to her. Mystra asked him what he learned, he said, "never trust a Kendar." Wrong answer.

Epitaph: NEVER TRUST A KENDAR!!
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Arngrimm Haraldsson

Game System: Viking Swedish RPG
Occupation: Viking warrior
Player: Emil Degerfalk
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: 951 AD
Date of Death: 972 AD
Place of Death: On Viking ship off english coast

Cause of Death: Other Vikings teased him for being sea-sick. Got angry and challenged one of the crew. His opponent chopped his leg off and then ran his own sword right into his own belly. Guts flew everywere.

Epitaph: Dont fuck with a seasick Viking!!!
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Aron the Archer

Game System: GURPS
Occupation: Archer, bigtime annoyance to the rest of the party.
Player: Cybrludite
Gender: M
Race: Human
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: About 25 years later
Place of Death: A mountaintop

Cause of Death: I was going through a phase of silly character concepts (Ask me about my Dwarf w/ the giagantism disad...), and Aron was one of the sillier ones. Based almost completely on the character "Sheriff Aron" from Brisco Country Jr. Yup. An Elvis-ish archer... Anyhoo, the bad-guys chief leiutenant shows up to mock us. Aron fast-draws an arrow & rolls a critical success on the attack. Hit location brain, triple-damage for the crit-success roll, and a very high damage roll. Pity the villian had a Reverse Missle spell going at all times... To add insult to fatal injury, the SOB animated Arons corpse as a zombie.

Epitaph: Thankyuh, thankyuh vurry much!
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Averin Vislin Syrtis Alstairi

Game System: 3rd Ed. D&D/Earthdawn
Occupation: 4th lvl. Fighter
Player: Shay
Gender: Male
Race: Tskrang
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: Unknown
Place of Death: Outside the entrance to a catacomb

Cause of Death: To star it all of, I was hired by a dawrven enchanter, along with the rest of the party, to clear out a dungeon. We made it to a room with a young blue dragon. As I moved forward to rescue a downed companion from becoming a chew toy, the thief in the party critically failed his attack roll on the dragon and speared me in the back. I survived (thanks to the gods), and we returned to the surface to rest for the night. In the room we found a Deck of Many Things (me having played 2nd Ed. I wanted nothing to do with it.) After seeing all the cool stuff they had gotten, I reluctantly drew a card. The player who played the thief made the offhand comment, " Well, the Donjon hasnt been drawn yet." Guess who drew the Donjon? Yup. Me.

Epitaph: Whyd you have to open your fucking mouth, you little bastard?!?!?!
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Azaleth

Game System: AD&D Dragonlance
Occupation: 10th level Fighter/9th level Thief/ 5th level Mage
Player: Patrick Codmiller
Gender: Male
Race: Elf
Date of Birth: unknown
Date of Death: 12 May 1300 BC
Place of Death: The Dark Temple of Molar

Cause of Death: After fighting for many days, Azleth caught up with Molar and

Epitaph: Youve thrown everything at but the kitchen sink.
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Azziz

Game System: Countless RPGs
Occupation: Wiseman/Druid
Player: Shawn K
Gender: male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: 1875
Date of Death: 1998
Place of Death: A Recruiting Tavern

Cause of Death: Azziz the Wiseman was simply within a Recruiting Inn (RLT) when one of the members, who was a shapeshifting arch-nemesis, used his weakness on him: endless lies. Struggling to right the wrong...the shapeshifter sent a legion of tiny pink men, naked and horny, to rape poor Azziz to death. Azziz was powerful enough to stop them...but being old and crippled, he only paid attention to his broken hip and naked, wrinkled body. Eeek.

Epitaph: There she goooeees...there she goooes agaaaain...
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Bali Redhelm

Game System: Lord Of The Rings Role Playing
Occupation: Warrior/Smith
Player: Chris Matteson
Gender: Male
Race: Dwarf
Date of Birth: June 30th, TA, 106
Date of Death: January 5th, TA, 1971
Place of Death: Cardalon

Cause of Death: Bali, once resurrected from a long rest, returned to the earth once more. To save a party of elves, Bali locked himself within a cavern, facing two fire drakes. After defeating one, Bali fell in battle. The elves had enough time to hide before the second drake began hunting.

Epitaph: "Here lies Bali, He who killed two dragons and one drake on his own, only for his Mythril Armor to fail him"
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Ban Calisto

Game System: Star WarsWEG version
Occupation: Brash Rebel Alliance Pilot
Player: Alex Harriger
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: Age 20
Place of Death: Outside an abandoned warehouse on the planet Kidron

Cause of Death: Ban had been taken captive by a gangster-type group who was holding him until they got a very expensive piece of equipment the group had stolen from someone else. The gangsters were holed up on an upper floor of said abandoned warehouse. They had been holding him captive for several days, and he was in poor shape to begin with(having had at least one of his fingers removed, and been severely dehydrated in the process). In the midst of the negotiations, the gangsters got angry and threatened to drop Ban on his head, dangling him out the window on a rope tied around one leg. Upon finding out that the group had tried to outsmart the gangsters with a briefcase full of useless computer parts rigged with explosives(detonite), they cut the rope. To "help" him fall, one of the group members shot him, thinking it would help to relax him and break the fall. They made a makeshift trampoline with several jumpsuits theyd acquired, which wasnt strong enough to keep him from falling through, and he hit the ground and died(Ironically, if he hadnt been shot, he would have had enough strength to live).

Epitaph: Quit tryin to help, will ya?
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Bardolf

Game System: AD&D
Occupation: Fighter
Player: Samuel Robertson
Gender: Male
Race: Dwarf
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: Unknown
Place of Death: Dungeon.

Cause of Death: Turned into a dwarven pincushion by a friend who believed him to be a doppleganger because he hit his paladin friend who had been tickled the dwarf with his (the dwarfs) own beard, attempting to see if it was really him. So the dwarf hit him with the flat side of his sword.

Epitaph: He learned the hard way that enemies will rip your head off and wake you up later, and friends will just wake you up.
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Barry Prior

Game System: D20 Cthullhu
Occupation: Ships Purser & Gangster
Player: Richard
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: 10th March 1897
Date of Death: 30th October 1927
Place of Death: Atlantic Ocean

Cause of Death: During a routine rum smuggling run, a strange cannister was discovered on board the Nigel Dee [fishing vessel]. On arrival at their destination the crew were hired by their contact to find the person whod plated it. After sveral weeks sailing bak and forth, the crew realised that everyone whod touched the canister had been possessed by a molevolent force and Barry was now in its power - even though he didnt. The crew then lock Barry in his cabin for 5 days with no food or water and when he was at deaths door, the 1st mate entered the room and shot him threw the head. Barrys body was then dumped overboard and when questioned back at port, the crew admitted hed been lost overboard in a storm.

Epitaph: Im going to lock myself in my cabin as the crew are looking at me funny
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Bartel

Game System: Chivalry & Sorcery
Occupation: Power Word Mage
Player: David Wruck
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: 12/04/102
Date of Death: 15/07/121
Place of Death: Lair of a necromancer.

Cause of Death: In a futile attempt to escape the lair, he utilized a teleport spell without having anywhere to teleport to stored. We wound up teleporting into a herd of cows. All but 2 players merged with a cow, and exploded.

Epitaph: Somewhere a farmer went into retirement "Damn Martha, I never knew cows exploded."
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Ben Elkor

Game System: AD & D
Occupation: Cleric of God
Player: Ben Herbacko
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: unknown
Date of Death: unknown
Place of Death: just outside a hick town

Cause of Death: Ben Elkor was a very holy cleric who said he couldnt even hurt people since everyone has a soul and he wanted to not hurt anyone with a soul. He would never every fight and if he did he would roll like 2s or 5s all the time. Well anyway he was a good cleric but started to get boring since he wouldnt fight anyone and tried to stop the PCs from killing others as well but they never listened. So I decided to bury all my gear and attack the PCs in a blind rage of how they would never go to confession to confess there sins. Well I was only level 2 vs. two level 4 fighters so I was slaughtered like a hog cut down in two along with a low blow in there. Well the DM asked me where my gear was and I said "If I tell you then you will now, it is a surprise"

Epitaph: STOP THE BLOOD SHED!!!!!!!!
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Ben Elkor

Game System: Vampire: The Masquerade
Occupation: Vampire Hunter
Player: Ben Herbacko
Gender: Male
Race: Vampire (Catiff)
Date of Birth: July 1947
Date of Death: June 2002
Place of Death: Warehouse

Cause of Death: This character was the most short lived character i have ever played but it was the best. He kept constantly rolling botchs all the time we called him the botch master he rolled 20 and we counted in about a hour just from hunting. well i rolled another botch well hunting and a ghoul hit me in the back with a sap. the ghoul didnt now that i was even a vampire so he decided to just tie me up and leave me in the warehouse. well ghouls live in sun and it wuz just full of ghouls so the windows were all open and sunlight quickly killed me.

Epitaph: after game: Hey ben we should call this new character the botch master
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Black

Game System: AD&D Bob Edition
Occupation: Vampire Slayer
Player: Greg Waters
Gender: Male
Race: Elf
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: Unknown
Place of Death: Whorehouse

Cause of Death: For some reason the party thought he was an assasin. After being thrown out of the party, he came back and single-handedly killed two basilisks and an umberhulk that had already wiped out half the party. For this injustice, he was held, tied up, and searched. When the cleric found an evil artifact, the awesome Wand of Ungodly Death, he destroyed it. The explosion not only killed the cleric but two of the remaining three party members. The sole survivor killed Black for causing all this destruction and then mourned his loss. Role-playing at its best.

Epitaph: ...misunderstood, but had the last laugh...
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Bobb-R-FET

Game System: Paranoia
Occupation: Troubleshooter
Player: Lee
Gender: Male
Race: Clone
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: Unknown
Place of Death: In Alpha Complex (I think!).

Cause of Death: Firing 15 HE shells at the ceiling over his head, on the bright side he killed all the traitors, all the troubleshooter team, and a whole clone family.

Epitaph: I told you I was going out with a bang!
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Brandon Pruett

Game System: AD&D 2E
Occupation: Paladin
Player: Sir Leonard Shieldbasher
Gender: male
Race: human
Date of Birth: not sure
Date of Death: around 26 years later
Place of Death: Thasbone Tower

Cause of Death: Sir Leonard, a brave young paladin freshly knighted, has set out with a group of adventurers in hopes of finding his claim to fame in their company. The party came upon a small town, after many weeks of uneventful travel, besieged by a evil that stole their daugthers in broad daylgiht but left no trace. Sensing great honor in rescueing multiple fair maidens Sir Leonard quickly vowed his sword to the cause and the party set out for Thasbone tower. The quest was ill fated from the get go, ambushed by goblins on the way to the tower, losing companions to bad luck (2 died from accidently being hit by allies and many were inured from falling off of things), and just plain difficulty hitting anything (longest combats Ive ever been in, everyone kept rolling under 7). By the time we made it to the third floor only brave Sir Leonard and two others were left, all wounded and desperate. Upon coming to a cracked door where we could hear 4 guards gambling Sir Leonard bashed through the door with a shout of "Lay down your weapons or prepare to defend thyselves naives!" as the other two remaining members argued over the proper course of action. Sir Leonard died soon there after as did the other party members.

Epitaph: He lived like a hero and died like a fool.
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Bregar the Just

Game System: AD&D
Occupation: paladin
Player: Allen
Gender: male
Race: human
Date of Birth: unknown
Date of Death: unknown
Place of Death: The high towers of Ravenloft Castle.

Cause of Death: On a jaunt through the original Ravenloft module, many members of the party had at various times passed me (the DM) notes informing me that they had changed to evil alignments. They got this brilliant idea from the Deck of Many Things that theyd played with. Since Bregar was the last good character (and everyone wanted to pick on Allen anyway), he was taking point. As the party entered a room in a high tower of the castle, Count Strahd cast a spell on the party to cause Bregar to appear to be a vampire. At this point, the entire party gleefully fell upon Bregar, cutting him down quickly. Not satisfied, one of the fighters pointed out that if he was a vampire, he might come back. To slow that process, the party methodically chopped his corpse up into hamburger and then threw the mush out the window, into the daylight, which they figured would destroy his vampiric flesh. Its interesting to note that several of the characters made their saving throws but still joined in with the slaughter.

Epitaph: You guys are dicks.
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Brian Jockalolps "The Doc"

Game System: WhatleyDeadLands
Occupation: Mad Scientist
Player: Robert Adams
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: 1801
Date of Death: Late Summer of 1916
Place of Death: "Crater Texas"

Cause of Death: We were investigating a Huckster by the name of Goatstooth who had a bounty of 50 ghostrock on his head. After some checking around (Bribing some local cattlehands), The Doc was able to find out where old Goatstooth was staying.

Epitaph: Hey, you think stuffs free down here. We got em Pay up the Bounty!
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Brians 1->3

Game System: D&D 3rd edition
Occupation: all clerics
Player: Brian (go lack of imagination)
Gender: All male
Race: All human
Date of Birth: all around 2047
Date of Death: all on the same day in the year 2067
Place of Death: all in the dragon spy mountains

Cause of Death: The Brians deaths themselves were not particularly sepicial what was interesting was the speed of them, specifically that fact that all 3 died whithin the space of 10 minuets ( one of them twice). The origanal Brian was a lvl 1 cleric who within 30 seconds of being introduced was trodden on by a white dragon. Due to the fact that no-one wanted to pay to have the lvl 1 cleric reserected or wait for Brian to make a new caricter Brians(the charas not the players) identicle twin brother Brian arrived with the exact same stats, and was proptly eaten. It turned out that there were a party of identicle clerics wandering in the mountains that day as he was instatly replaced by Brian #3 who manage to surive to the end of battle due to the fact that Di Siduous the Ranger nobly sacrificed himself to save Brian. The death crys of the white dragon were heard by to other nearby evil dragons, one red one black. In unison the dragons fired twin balls of flame and acid which combind into one huge "sphere of death TM". Everyone dodged except for Brian and the much loved NPC Wizzy, both of whom were disolved beyond reserection. At this point Brain #2 slit through the stomouch of the white dragon and climbed out explaining that the dragon had swolled him whole and hed survived by using cure light wounds on himselft to avion stomouch acid damage. To aviod any more fussing about Eldas cast wall of force on brian to protect him from harm. this worked well untill the end of the battle when the corpse of the red dragon fell on him from 150ft and he was unable to dodge due to the wall of force and was thusly crushed

Epitaph: The Necrophilic Sorcerer was the better
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calibar jarlson

Game System: ad&d old school
Occupation: barbarian
Player: Joe B.
Gender: male
Race: human
Date of Birth: first moon,year of the dog
Date of Death: last moon,year of the ass
Place of Death: lost citadel of the mage-king Agravos

Cause of Death: After fighting through six different levels of increasingly difficult hazards(I really hated the hall of gaurdians-two rows of very vicious ,very powerful undead guards....we lost half the party there),we came upon a mammoth door of solid black adamantine.Our fearless leader thought we could still take on whatever there was left so he had our (lightly wounded) thief see if he could "open it up already".Waiting inside was an army of 100 skeletal warriors(the old king didnt want to die by himself so he had 100 warriors volunteer to join him and guard him in the afterlife). Needless to say when we saw that horde swarm out through the open doors we all screamed and ran like hell.None of us made it out,and the last thing my madly screaming fightr saw was the old mage-king himself walking towards him smiling and thanking him for "volunteering" to help guard him and his treasures for eternity.

Epitaph: He should have left when he filled his pack with all those gemstones,aint greed a bitch?
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Caseless

Game System: Shadowrun
Occupation: Street Samuria
Player: Mike D.
Gender: M
Race: Human
Date of Birth: 13 Mar, 2028
Date of Death: 7 Aug, 2054
Place of Death: Seattle, Washington

Cause of Death: While running through the park to aviod a Lone Star patrol, he passed by an old woman sitting on a bench, knitting. Figuring nothing around here could be bad, since the old woman hadnt gotten mugged, he stopped to get a drink out of the drinking fountain.

Epitaph: I wanted a drink of water, not an enema!!!
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Conan

Game System: GURPS Fantasy
Occupation: Barbarian
Player: Jason Bradley
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: Same as above
Place of Death: A very tiny cursed box

Cause of Death: I have NEVER seen a character (well, a fully-created character) last such a small amount of time. Our PC party (comprised of a winged elf, an intelligent horse, a human nearly-paladin, a good vampire/me, and a quickling/Jason) goes spelunking for "legendary treasure". The quickling scouts ahead, easily outruns some minotaurs (that we get stuck fighting), finds the treasure and begins cataloguing it. We get there just in time to see the quickling open a small, unremarkable - but magical - metal box. The lil tyke is grabbed by the arms of SOMETHING, makes his horror check, and tries to resist being dragged into the box. He has a Strength of 5. SHLOOOMP - sucked in the box. Character dead.

Epitaph: At least he got to roll the dice...
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Cyril

Game System: Ravenloft
Occupation: Priest of the Morning Lord
Player: Rick
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: 35 years ago
Date of Death: 8 months ago
Place of Death: A dank, dark cavern in Drakovnia

Cause of Death: The book that would bring Drakovnia back to the Prime Material Plane was guarded by a twelve headed Pyrohydra. The three of us, Priest, Paladin and Rogue had a plan. Something about the Paladin cutting off heads while the Rogue burned the stumps and Cyril kept them alive. Well, the best laid plans and all that being as they are, the plan soon became Cyril, protected by his Sanctuary spell, would occupy the Pyrohydra while the Paladin and Rogue would flee out the door. Unfortunately, the Pyrohydra started to chase them out the door. Cyril figured he would cause a distraction by firing his crossbow at the Pyrohydra. Very bad idea. The Sanctuary spell ended. Twelve heads turned towards Cyril. Fire came streaming towards him. When they were done he had negative 153 hit points.

Epitaph: You Shall Not Pa---ARRRGGHHHHHhhhhh....the goggles, they do nothing....
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Daelok

Game System: D&D 3E
Occupation: Roque Explorer
Player: C. Baize
Gender: Male
Race: Dwarf
Date of Birth: 733
Date of Death: 784
Place of Death: The Sunless Citadel

Cause of Death: Fighting their way through the Sunless Citadel, the party came upon some REALLY big rats. Daelok (being the Rogue, and a Dwarf) was in front of the party, and thus took the brunt of the attacks by the rats. Daelok had the bright idea of splashing the rats with lamp oil and setting them on fire. He fumbled around with the oil and managed to splash all his oil all over himself. The rats finally knocked him down, and the Druid behind him decided to imbibe a potion about which he knew nothing. Well... the Druid proceeded to belch forth gouts of flame and burned Daelok to death.

Epitaph: "The Dwarf! The Dwarf! The Dwarf is on fire! We dont need no water, let the little bastard burn!"
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David Borokevitch

Game System: Call of Cthulhu
Occupation: Private Investigator
Player: Erich Greene
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: 11 December 1908
Date of Death: Unknown
Place of Death: Near Cairo.

Cause of Death: Recognized just who the ugly guy with the big tongue whod just materialized was, rolled high on the d100 SAN loss, went gibbering off through a portal into the past, and was eaten shortly thereafter.

Epitaph: Scott was wrong: It was daytime, it wasnt safe, they werent our friends, and he did kill the whole party at once.
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Deadeye

Game System: Shadowrun 2nd edition
Occupation: Phyiscal Adept
Player: Mike
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: Unknown
Place of Death: Back of a Lone Star Patrol Car

Cause of Death: After being aressted by Lone Star and thrown in the back seat of a squad char, the other Player knocked the Officer over and stole the car. After alenghty chase the other player lost control of the car *traveling at 80mph* and jumped out, leaving Deadeye handcuffed in the back with no seatbelt as the car hit a building. Deadeye head became on with the bulletproof glass. This adventure was not off to a good start

Epitaph: What do you mean you jump out of the car ???
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Defender of the Rose

Game System: SuperheroChampions
Occupation: Powerful Mentalist, Minor Martial Artist
Player: Ken Ford
Gender: Male
Race: Human Mutant
Date of Birth: 5/16/60
Date of Death: 9/11/82
Place of Death: Headquarters of the League of Justice

Cause of Death: Decided to use his never-before used martial arts attack against the slasher killer monster instead of his powerful mental attacks.

Epitaph: Hey, Ive never tried to kick anyone. Ill run up to it and side kick it!
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Demonika

Game System: AOL
Occupation: Vampire Slayer
Player: Stacey
Gender: female
Race: Human
Date of Birth: 6-24-62
Date of Death: 2-14-02
Place of Death: Vampire Tavern

Cause of Death: Demonika had been in there all year long slaying vampires and saving innocent lives. Her mother was killed by a vampire and she dedicated her life to seeking vengence for her mother. She was fighting and the vampire was too strong and too quick. She had been fighting with him for a long time and she made one wrong move and for that, she got death.

Epitaph: Demonika was not the last. She had a daughter. Her name is Zendala. Zendala has been training long and hard and will fight her mothers last and lost battle and many more.
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Derth

Game System: AD&D
Occupation: Magic-User
Player: Justin Schneider
Gender: Male
Race: Half elf
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: Unknown
Place of Death: Renegade wizards island.

Cause of Death: Tried to fireball a troll with a Staff of the Magi. Didnt know how big the blast radus was. Fried himself, a thief,a fighter/cleric, and two elves. Oh yeah, and the troll.

Epitaph: Stupid mage...
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Devan Cu-Ruruc

Game System: AD&D
Occupation: Mage
Player: Patrik Bengtsson
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: unknown
Date of Death: 1366 DR
Place of Death: Beneath the old scull inn, Shadowdale

Cause of Death: Instantly slain by one acid drop, which burned away all of his 2hps. Being 1st level and still didnt get the help he so much deserved. Resurrection took place but failed utterly as well.

Epitaph: You burned like a star for over 10 minutes, but we all miss you.
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Dinarin

Game System: Merp
Occupation: Animist
Player: Miika Koukku
Gender: Male
Race: Half-elf
Date of Birth: 1620, Third age
Date of Death: 1643, Third age
Place of Death: Tower ruins near Bree.

Cause of Death: Dinarin and his friends were searching some villagers that were gone missing. First they were attacked by huge swarm of giant bees. Every member of the party was wounded after the fight and Dinarin used all his magic to heal his friends, but even he couldnīt help his dwarf friend who died at poison. :/ Next they came to the ruins of an ancient tower, when they walked closer a horde of orcs attacked the party. Dinarin was the only survivor ( with only 1 HP!). He thought that all the orcs were dead and decided to check the tower. He was right, all the orcs were dead but the invisible acid-spitting demon was still in the tower. :)

Epitaph: SPLATT!!!!
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Dokt-R-HOO-1 through -6

Game System: Paranoia
Occupation: Troubleshooter
Player: Darren-Jon Ashmore
Gender: Male
Race: Citizen (male) :-)
Date of Birth: Nobody knows
Date of Death: Nobody cares
Place of Death: "OUTSIDE" (somewhere)

Cause of Death: Clone No.1 killed by out of control "tapdancing" walking machine. Clone delivery system rocket fails to deploy chute, killing Clone No.2 and while Clone No.3 arrives intact he is killed by the clone delivery rocket of a clone which his first clone delivery rocket killed (confused yet?) Having avoided D.O.A Clone No.4 falls foul of the fact that in Paranoia lightning always strikes the same place (if it is even remotely funny) in so far as the earlier maniac mech (in wishing to apologise for the earlier death), trips over to him and onto him. The arrival of Clone No.5 ends this potential problem as it hits and destroys the mech and though Clone No.5 survives the crash he is shot by a vigilant Internal Security clone for treason (damaging Computer property). Clone No.6 arrives intact and remains unshot till the final encounter with the big "Commie" threat. A group of strange pepper pot type things with 3 sticky out bits (one with a sink plunger attached), who ask in a scratchy sort of voice "Where is the Doctor?"

Epitaph: Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
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Draken, Aliesha

Game System: AD&D
Occupation: Druid
Player: Dylan Sumpter
Gender: Female
Race: elf
Date of Birth: Fifteenth Century, France
Date of Death: Sixteenth Century
Place of Death: The Forest of the Obelisk, rural France

Cause of Death: The group was out to take the Obelisk and defend its magic from the hands of the evil enemy forces - a rat-like race known as the Scaven. One fated afternoon Alieshas group leader, in a fit of misguided lawful goodness, decided the group should defend the horses against the Scaven onslaught instead of running for their lives like any intelligent coward would do. Aleisha and most of the party members, including all horses, were overtaken and turned into Scaven.

Epitaph: Rats!
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Durendal

Game System: Rolemaster
Occupation: Lay healer -> then dwarven warrior
Player: Stefan Morgner
Gender: Male
Race: first human, then dwarf
Date of Birth: the 2nd age
Date of Death: with only 60 years
Place of Death: Castle of Herubar Gular

Cause of Death: Durendal started as a 5th lv. layhealer when after a while he felt always beein incapacitated for taking over other PC wounds is boring. So when the party entered the dwarven stronghold of herubar Gular by a secret entrance guarded by a giant Aule statue (dwarven god)he was asked: Only my people pass here - are you one of them? By confirming loudly to avoid mayor screwups he was turned into a dwarven warrior and granted a mithril armour beset with jewellry (a GM bonus for 2 month good roleplaying). Just two corners ahaed the party turned into a corridor with a mage standing the other end - casting a fireball. Durendal ducked-jumped and charged the mage who obviously prepared another attack. Hitting the mage the GM rolled a large Krush attack with a low result. Stefan complained and the GM let HIM roll his attack with a +50 extra bonus for charging. This time the critical result was 99 (unmodified). Unfortunately the mage was an illusion so the dwarf krushed himself on the wall behind - leaving his soul to observe two other PCs breaking the jewellery out of the armor before burying him..

Epitaph: Donīt tell me the wall is STILL there...
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Dustin

Game System: Palladium
Occupation: Bounty Hunter Fire & Ice Bounty Hunting Services
Player: Scott Z. Sanders (Synge)
Gender: Male
Race: Human, blue but human
Date of Birth: 70s
Date of Death: 2000
Place of Death: Mutant holding prison

Cause of Death: Synge a self healing self proclaimed fire elemental had problems problems because of experimentation on him as a young mutant. The tests caused his skin to turn blue and hair silver. This also caused him to develop split personalities. One day while out Synges mind was attacked by a very strong psionic wave and forced his other personality to emerge. This personality was very evil and while in this state he had become a different person, he stopped at a bingo parlor fused the doors together and started to kill all the old people inside. Once he had finished another wave forced him back into his normal state. As he tried to regain focus a ship came out of the sky and six formes emerged out. These six people who were later identified as the ones who were behind the wave called themselve G.O.D.S. and their leader the Warden overpowered Synge and took him away. While in custody Synge learned the the Warden and android was collecting mutants to build himself a brainwashed mutant army. After Synge broke out of his first cell and did significant damage to the warden he realized he wasnt the only one in the room and was soon overpowered again and moved. When he regained consciousness he awoke to find himself in a much stronger individual cell surrounded by other mutants who had met the same fate. He soon felt like there was nothing he could do untill a psionic who was trapped in a cell across the room contacted him. They devised a plan together, she would use her powers to prtect the other mutants while Synge used his super nova a most devastating attack which only a few had lived thru to free everybody. The plan was in action but Synge wanted to wait untill the Warden came to check up on him. So before the time the Warden usually made his rounds synge powered up. And when the Warden came to his tank Synge detonated and destroyed everything in site except the others who were protected. Synge did not make it through the blast and gave his life to save the others.

Epitaph: Before he exploded Synge gave the Warden the finger a smile and one last fuck you.
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Ea Mar

Game System: Rifts
Occupation: Godling Warlock Linewalker
Player: Anon
Gender: Female
Race: Godling
Date of Birth: A Long Time Ago
Date of Death: 104 PA
Place of Death: The Pyramids At Giza

Cause of Death: After joining a group of heros in an attempt to stop the Four Horsemen, Ea Mar and her friends decided to hunt down and kill Death: "Hes the strong one, kill him and the others will die too..." We tracked Death to the Pyramids of Giza, where, after battling a horde of zombies, mummies, and other daemonic horrors, Ea Mar was attacked by some little puny guy using his finger; he was a human, so the Godling ignored the blow, not realising it was the really nasty Palladium version of Dim Mak. Without her regenetive powers, Ea Mar fell victim to Deaths touch of rigor mortis, but heroically charged Death and blew herself up (also dealing some hefty damage to a few teammates...)... Tragically, her sacrifice was in vain, as only a single member of the party survived.

Epitaph: "Puny mortal, you would attack me with thy finger? Truly thou art a foolish wretch... um... how come Im not regenerating?"
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Eddie Forrester

Game System: Vampire: The Masquerade
Occupation: Former child actor turned Infernalist vampire
Player: Cytorak
Gender: Male
Race: Infernalist Brujah Vampire
Date of Birth: August 5 ,1962
Date of Death: February 8, 2000
Place of Death: A road about five miles out of town

Cause of Death: After a fellow vampire used Dementation on me in an effort to look good in the eyes of our pack leader, who was a condescending asshole to everyone. After an altercation in a Wal-Mart, our pack leader insulted me. My Brujah blood coupled with the effects of the Dementation sent me into a rage in the car and I began hitting the leader/driver with my aluminum baseball bat. The others in the car tried to stop me, but the car was brought to a halt. Everyone got out of the car to stop me from attacking the leader. It took 4 shotgun blasts, 3 razor claw swipes, and 3 fireballs to finally kill me. I went to 21 below incapacitated before the GM had had enough and told me I was dead.

Epitaph: You heard me! (His child actor catchphrase)
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Ein

Game System: Ledgendary Tournament: Ai Kage Te Ryu
Occupation: ninja
Player: Ryne H.
Gender: male
Race: demon/human
Date of Birth: 7/1/1803
Date of Death: 12/3/1826
Place of Death: Kyoto Temple

Cause of Death: Ein grabbed his katana and rolled over quickly to block Yokais attack. Yokai jumped back and gave Ein a chance to get up and breathe. Ein got up, his gi torn to peaces, his white karate pants stained with blood, his headband, cut in two pieces, lay on the ground. Ein looked up and saw Yokai was on the move. Ein tried to keep his eyes locked on Yokais movements, but Yokai was too fast. Finally, Ein dropped his sword and gave up. The last thing he said before the final match of the Ledgendary Tournament: "Love and Shadow for the Dragons Hand" ended, was "I swear upon my death that I will see you disgraced."

Epitaph: "I swear upon my death that I will see you disgraced.
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Elendil Draugnim

Game System: Shadowrun
Occupation: British Secret Agent
Player: Paolo Marcucci
Gender: Male
Race: Elf
Date of Birth: 2035
Date of Death: 2052
Place of Death: A toxic dump in Wales

Cause of Death: Radioactivity poisoning, caused by being locked in an old nuclear site bunker with a calcified dragon skeleton and two baby dragons too wimpy to kill but tough enough to hurt everyone inside. Died while playing computer games on the station console.

Epitaph: Eh, I know Im dying, but theres nothing else to do.
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Elm Brew the (un)Wise

Game System: AD&D 2nd Edition
Occupation: 7th Level Mage
Player: David "Bo" Montique
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Date of Birth: Spring 903
Date of Death: Winter 927-928
Place of Death: A cold and lonely room at a cheap inn awaiting the return of his "friends"

Cause of Death: Elm Brew stuff the remaining gold into his pouch that was left over from the 2,000 gold advance Lord Montgomery had given him to defeat the local red dragon. As his party left the inn, he felt that the cold winter months would find bring them a hibernating red dragon. The two fighters in the party were brothers, Gere and Danial Mothflight. They prepared their weapons as Squirrel the Thief readied his blade and Slick Sly, the parties assassin / theif loaded his crossbow with poision bolts. The battle ensued, with daniel and Gere taking up the front flank with Brew the Wise to the rear of them preparing magic. Squirrel went behind the sleeping dragon, as did Slick Sly, however Squirrels rumaging through the dragons treasure mound awoke it and battle ensued. Daniel and Gere were quickly turned into canned fighter soup with the first dragons breath. Although Squirrel was too busy stuffing his pockets with loot to bother himself with battle, while Brew the wise was between spells, Slick Sly did manage to get of a poision bolt. Sadly, whenever a bolt misses a target, espesally one as difficult to hit as a 12 Dragon at point blank range, the bolt tends to travel elsewhere. Specifically into the shoulder of whatever Mage might be standing in front of the missed target. As Brew the Wise fell, Squirrel and Slick Sly galiantly beat a hasty retreat, steping over and onto the now cooling Daniel and Gere corpses. The brave two souls almost knocked over the now sitting-in-pain Brew the Wise but after they got outside of the cave, they quickly came to their senses. They relized that they MUST save their fallen friend (afterall, he had the bag of gold). A daring rescue soon recovered the bleeding and Poisioned Brew the Wise and the two carried their strickened friend back to the inn. They layed him upon the cot and he gave Squirrel his pouch cotaining the remaining 1,000 gold pieces of gold and gems, to buy a 5 gold piece antidote at the alchemist at the other end of the small Hamlet. Squirrel stuffed the pouch into his pocket with the other loot that he had snatched from the dragons lair and along with his childhood friend Slick Sly headed out. They, of course, never bothered to return. They figured that the five gold would be better spent on cheap wine and cheap women.

Epitaph: There is no honor among theives.
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Elron Zingraf

Game System: Dungeons and Dragons
Occupation: Wizard
Player: Tim Skimming
Gender: Male
Race: Half Elf
Date of Birth: One Month Before Winter 25 years ago
Date of Death: The first night in a springs morning
Place of Death: In a dungeon

Cause of Death: It all started when the rogue decided to look for traps on a muddy floor. That muddy floor turned out to be bat droppings. Then the drow monk decides to set of a globe of darkness on the bats who were not attacking us. Well she barely made it across the drk room, not able to see the sleeping ogre. Shorlty after the ogre woke and chased her into the dark room. We were smart enough to go into the room and not being able to see a darn thing. Our final solution was to cling to the walls and find our way to the door. The ogre found us by blind luck and the rogue tripped (the rogue with an 18 dex i might add). I had the dumb luck to trip over the damn elf and got hit many many times by the ogre. Fianlly after getting my bones crushed, the rest of my party killed the ogre. Shrotly after, the cleric who was my characters best friend performed a funeral.

Epitaph: Even them rogues can be trippy at times
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Erin

Game System: DoD -91 swedish D&D system
Occupation: Bard
Player: Adele Hevarve
Gender: Female
Race: Half-Elf
Date of Birth: ?
Date of Death: ?
Place of Death: A Dragons Cave

Cause of Death: The troup was sent to explore the cave of a dragon, and possibly defeat/drive it away from the area. The wolf-eared(long story) bard heard mysterious sounds from further inside. Breaking away from the rest of the gang (mistake 1), she found the big heap of treasure in the main cave. She didnt return to the group (mistake 2), but continued inside, only to be swooped up by the dragon. Fire dragon. In an attempt to escape, she tried a tactic that had saved her in the past - send the scary thing towards the nearest village/city. However, it didnt work this time, and as the dragon leaned in to finish her off, she tried frantically to come up with good reasons for it not to eat her. However, see her epitaph for her last bright idea...

Epitaph: You dont want to eat me, Ive eaten poisonous berries! Youll get a tummy ache!
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Evan

Game System: Forgotten Relms D&D 3E
Occupation: Eccentric, Evil Sorcerer
Player: Chad
Gender: M
Race: Dark Elf
Date of Birth: No Clue
Date of Death: somtime after birth, during time of death
Place of Death: the woods

Cause of Death: While walking though the woods with his evil buddy Kaline,looking for for the secret hideout of another party of heros(they were arch-enemies), this full-plate wearing sorceror in spikes, carrying a massive greatsword was dragged down into the Abyss by two demons who came up from a hole in the ground, which was a gateway to the Abyss. Probably dead.

Epitaph: Where is that bloody- - Whoaaaaaaa
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Eyeless One

Game System: The Gorgans Alliance
Occupation: Wizard Level 9
Player: Lucy
Gender: Male
Race: Unknown
Date of Birth: Unknown
Date of Death: Unknown
Place of Death: Spiders Lair(Spiderfell)

Cause of Death: The Regent of Coeranys, Eluvie Carlyle had decided to defeat the mad spider king and take the Tome of War for her own. In a fight with a Giant Spider, High Mage Aelies, who was behind Eyeless One decided to cast a death spell but missed and it killed Eyeless One instead

Epitaph: Aelies, watch where youre going with those spells. You could disintegrate someone with that!
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