Mary Alice ("Malice") by Ivan
TEAM: Freelance Villain
KIT CLASS: Olympian
Hall Of Fame!
Survival - 10 wins!
League Wins: 8
League Losses: 3
Out Of League Wins: 2
Out of League Losses: 8
Total Wins: 10
Total Losses: 11
Edgar Binns - Win 0-0
Ronan Rourke - Win 0-0
Shawn Ripper - Win 0-0
Unfinished Business - Win 0-0
Beautiful Night - Loss 0-0
Odin O'Se - Win 0-0
Grendel - Loss 0-0
Mul'tel - Win 0-0
Sara Amraphel - Loss 0-0
Duke of Sticky Garfields - Win 13-10
Christopher Marlowe - Loss 10-28
Zoot Suit Riot - Loss 15-24
Forte - Loss 13-31
Devyn Soyokaze - Win 18-15
Crossbow Cupid - Loss 12-16
Seryph Gibbons - Loss 13-17
Horatio - Win 20-14
Inju: Romantic Tentacle - Loss 8-12
Xerathis: Halo for Hire - Loss 6-12
Aleister Michaels - Loss 12-25
Don't ever let anyone tell you that dancing isn't hard work. I've danced with men, with demons, even danced with a god once, and let me tell you, being "swept off your feet" usually involves fifty times more effort than it's worth. In spite of all that, I have wanted to dance with Aleister Michaels for as long as I can remember. To float across the floor like an angel, gently, elegantly. To stare into his big beautiful eyes, and slide a blade gently between his ribs. The first thing I noticed about him was how confident and sure of himself he seemed. That's really important in a good partner, y'know, not just in dance but in anything. The second was how easily he absconded with a certain trinket I had spent the past six years in pursuit of. I followed him for ninety seven days before I caught up with him, and when I finally did...argh it makes me so MAD! I can't talk about this right now. I've run into him more times than I care to count, and not ONCE have I gotten the chance to repay him for what happened to my fiance when I returned to my employers empty handed. When the Twilight Club asked me to babysit him during this whole Ikkoshi debacle, I was more than happy to oblige. The fact that they strapped a bomb around my neck really had very little to do with it. Y'know...someday I'm gonna find the genius who rigged this thing up and have it out with him. It's extremely difficult to accessorize with. (Yes, I'm sure it was a him, only a man would design a collar THIS hideous. Believe me, it's not easy having to coordinate everything with "industrial black.") I'm not sure how he did it, but Aleister managed to get a hold of the detonator, so now I can't even chance killing him. That's pretty much the whole story up to now. I'm stuck with this selfish, egotistical, backstabbing cad for the duration. Can you believe he actually had the nerve to call me an "amateur!?" Oooh...I can't believe I ever called him "cute."
Personality: Money? You think I care about money? I've danced for kings, overlords, gods, demigods, powers, principalities, metaphysicians, even once for the guy who played "Screech" on Saved By the Bell. If I wanted money, I would've stayed in dancing. This is about something deeper, and more meaningful than money. I'm here because I want a chance to show that creep Aleister Michaels what it's like to tangle with a REAL woman. I'm nothing like those halfwit halfbreeds he normally hangs out with, and oh won't he be surprised when it's ME and not HIM who ends up bagging this Heart of whatever.
| Superior The pinnacle of human strength. |
Can bench press 1000 pounds.
|Superior This fighter can dodge, weave and move |
with the grace of an Olympic gymnast.
|Superior Hardy. |
Takes punishment like a heavyweight fighter or wrester.
|Superior Highly educated and ingenious. |
A smart cookie.
Sixteen years of tap, jazz, and lyrical. Twenty years of ballet. I was the Prima ballerina for six years for the Royal Elysian Ballet. Yeah, you could say I'm slightly acrobatic. Of course, dodging punches in a bar fight doesn't require nearly as much coordination as a double arabesque into a switch leap pot de beret attitude and end with a triple pirouette combination, but it's a LOT more fun!
One of my choreographers used to be a principle dancer in the Peking Opera and was good friends with Yuen Wo Ping. She had him come in and dance with us once a month, and he choreographed some of our routines. Over the years I couldn't help but learn a little Kung Fu: it's an inevitable rule of dancing that you pick up a little bit of style from every choreographer you work with. I never realized how much I had learned until I started "adventuring" (I abhor that word) and this one poor sap... well... I'm sure you've heard THAT story before. Let's just say his face got an up close and personal lesson in how to properly do a triple time step.
...to rock your socks off
Let me tell you something about ancient kings and their sacred relics. These guys have a mad-on for undead guards. I'm not kidding, I've seen more zombies and skeletons and what have you than I care to recall. The saddest thing is that the biggest challenge with these guys is how to dispose of them en masse quickly and efficiently. It's a pain to fight them hand to hand, and there are usually a lot of debris and body parts lying around. Once, in the royal treasure room of Nephthalyicia (or something) I fashioned a makeshift giant ruby catapult out of a surfboard, three guitar strings, and a sacrificial altar.
A little common sense...
Being a successful "grave robber" (I prefer the term artifact re-distributor thank you very much) takes a little common sense. Of course my definition of success is surviving the ordeal with as little personal injury as possible. If you walk into a room with spikes on two opposing walls, walk back out. That simple. Don't hang around, and for the LOVE of God PLEASE don't pull any levers. All it takes to stay alive in this business is a little bit of patience, some common sense, and some slightly above "braindead moron" level powers of observation.
...goes a long way
A familiar Voice?
The coolest thing about this job is that nobody ever cares if you take a little something for yourself on the side. Everyone always wants the Eye of Osiris or whatever, but nobody cares about the kneecap of Anubis or any of the rest of the loot stored along with it. I picked up this thing called the Staff of Denali on one of my little expeditions, but my employer wasn't at all interested in it. I took it to a friend who promptly broke it in two and revealed its innards. The sapphires of something-or-other. Really it's just two little stones that do a pretty good job at keeping me out of trouble. I had them set into my earrings so they're always with me, and now, when I say something, it happens. Mostly. Sorta.
- Power: Illusion Creation
- Auto-Hit This mental attack hits the target automatically, but may or may not effect them.
Another familiar Voice?
The other thing about ancient kings is their obsession with obscure locations. It's always across the lake of forbidden mists, beyond the icy cliffs of shadow and all that nonsense. Luckily my earrings have sorta "blessed" me with some pretty weird things, like the ability to never be cold. You don't even have any idea how COOL this is. I HATE being cold, and now I can start a fire with just a word. And we're not talking just any fire. I mean I can really kick it up a notch. BAM. Like Emeril, only with better legs.
- Power: Fire
The Effective Dreamer
There's a ballet called The Lathe of Heaven. It's about some guy who can change the weather depending on his mood. Really a Wagner ripoff if you ask me, but that's not the point. The point is, sometimes life imitates art, and you wake up to find yourself in the lead role. Jete, batement, tombet. Wind, lightning, rain. The translation takes some getting used to, but let me tell ya, the effects are a real crowd pleaser.
- Power: Weather Control
- Area Effect This attack causes damage in a large area.
- Melee Attack Attack usable only hand to hand.
Stomp scuff hop shuffle step flap step stomp scuff hop shuffle step flap step stomp scuff hop shuffle step flap step toe hop step toe hop step toe hop step toe toe toe hop step toe hop step toe hop step heel heel hop shuffle ball hop shuffle ball Heel toe tap step tap HeelToeTapStepHeelToeTapStepHeelToeTapStepTap... HeelToeTapStepHeelToeTapStepHeelToeTapStepSTOMP!