Weighted Penguin Plushie 5
Induced Sleep: Standard
[Rika's tenth birthday] Wai, Wai!! It's my birthday! And Gram-Gram sent me a check? Oooo... how much? .... WHAT THE @$%%##$?! Only @$#%@#! Thirty #%*$% dollars?! What the @#&* can you buy nowadays for only thirty bucks?! Even a damn "Ah My Bishoujo Kekkonshiki(Wedding) Senshi Power Point Captor Revolutionary Chika UbeRika-jin Mach 5 Muyo 1/2... CHECK!" DVD would cost over 30 dollars with tax! Sigh... and I was wanting a @#$ %&*$ Playstation. Hmph... I think Gram-gram must be starting to get senile; we ought to put her in a home. Huh? Oh, we already did... right I forgot. Oh well, I guess I might as well go cash this thing. [At the bank] Hrm... Oh! Hey bank teller lady, can I get this entirely in nickels? Yeah, I know that'll weigh a ton, that's why I want it, ya dumb #$%^&*. [Back at home] MOMMMIEEE! Can I pleeeasseee barrow your scissors? I 'll be extra especially careful with them and I promise I won't use them to play "Island Of Dr Moreau" with the kitty this time. Yay! Thanks! Now, where's that penguin plushie the teddies were holding as a POW? [Later] Wow... who'd think a little plushie would have this much stuffing inside it? MOMMMIEEE! Can you sew this penguin back up for me? Errr... 'Why is it filled up with nickels?' Um... Well, y'see I'm- What? No, of course I'm not making a blackjack to club my little brother upside the head for using my Barbie dolls to play 'GI Joe And The Cheap Saigon Whores' again! .... Honest!
3 Mile Inch
Preferably grassy knoll... wind blowing... skirt whipping... panty flashing... cat calling... Rika staring... Opponent staring... Running... Running... Rika... Opponent... Rika... Opponent... Rika.. Opponent.. Rika. Opponent. Rika Opponent Rika Opponent RikaOpponent Riponent! Riponent!! Riponent!!! [to be continued]
Tune in next week for another amazing episode of I Love Rika's Place 90233! NEWS FLASH! Rika Idonhavealastnamesostopaskingmeaboutit (Must be german) has IRREGULAR BRAINWAVES! That's right folks, IRREGULAR! like WEIRD. Not NORMAL. ABNORMAL. Aaaabby Normal! They are diffrent from most other brainwaves and thus are decidedly not of the average variaty. Scientists theorize that the sheer ammount of junk that goes on in Rikas mind at all times and at times other than all have caused the waves and pathways emminating from and going into her mind to warp in such ways that make it almost impossible to comprehend. What this means I have no Idea but I think there's something seriously wrong with that girl. I mean, realy. Have you... I mean... SEEN The Viscount... or Munch Monster even... Hell... This girl is out of it. Realy. Frikkin weirdo. Oh... OH! Don't get me started on that. Have you seen her? Personaly I don't think it's her mind, not that she has one, that distracts those poor mentalists. No. I figure it's all that fanservice stuff she does that gets them all confused. ... No I don't. No, I don't. Shut Up! I SAID SHUT UP!
2 episode second
[last time on Rika822: The Character: Riponent! Riponent!! Riponent!!!] *SHING!* Riponent!!! Riponent!! Riponent! Rika Opponent Rika... standing... still... Opponent... standing... still... Rika... Opponent... wind stopped... breathes held... Rika... top slashed... shirt opened... cleavage shown... people cheering... Opponent smiles... then... Opponent topples... Rika wins... V for Victoly! YATTA!
What? I've been struck! Voted AGAINST even? My heart canst not take such a blow! Whatever shall I do? Why must you wound me so? Why oh why? To place the solem and yet dooming selector next to a name that is not mine own forshames me! Oh! My honor soiled, what should I... what ever can I do? Struck at the base of where my soul lies (no, not Hell! Character sheet! Pay attention!) there is but one recourse I can take...
FA = Bitch'n'Moan
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! (Point: This may very well seem to be in sum total nothing more than your average wail of dispair from your average everyday female. But harken close and take note, this is no mere scream, this is in fact a sound so terrible in it's audibility that it can be heard miles, cities, states, even web-pages away! Dispair all ye who hear this sound and lament all those who cause it, for this terrible vocalization shall find itself directly upon the fight analysis board and thereby cause people to look at the fight who would otherwise ignore it... and to cease the terrible sound, will promptly vote in favor of... well, you know.)
Magical Chibi Brand Coffee
Super Speed: Standard
*YaaAAWWWWWWNNNNnnnnn* Gah... @#$% mornings. Need... coffee *sip, sip* *CHUG, CHUG, CHUG* Ahhh... Hm, still drowsy... Doesn't seem to be wor- *DING!* MMMM-MMmmmmm!!! Wow! Wonderwhat'sinthisstuffanyway? Hmmm... *Deep breath* Contains:brewedstarbuckscoffeecarbonatedwaterfivepercentlowfathighlactosesoymilkcaffinegurannasugarandslashorshintoufairydustextractmaltodextrinpectinnaturalandartificialflavornaturalandartificialillegalstreetstimulants- *INHALE* -irradiatedbovineurinehighfructosecornsyrupboiledpoprocksmorecaffinecitricacidhydrochloricacidsodiumbenzoatepreserativessoylentgreengumarabiccalciumdisodum- *INHALE* -choochoobearpureenaturalandartificialcoloringnaturalandartificialdarksilveryellownumberfiverednumberthreebluenumberfouryetstillevenmorecaffeinebrominatedchemicalXMagicalChibiBrandCoffeeisaregisteredtrademarkofStarbucksKhazanBrandsCorporationdistributedbythenorthkhazancoffeepartnership- Oooo... SHI-NEY!!!! *THUMP* *Passes out due to lack of oxygen*