I never should have agreed to go on this little looting adventure. Oh sure, getting to share the sleeping bag with Alex wasn't too shabby, *winkwink* but considering that right at this moment Bas and myself are being cornered by 100 wicked blood cultists that worship some sort of Aztec-styled god that calls for sacrifices lest he fill the sky with demons and some rot, I'd have exchanged wild nightime escapades for the chance to actually continue living all too readily. "Who are you," you might ask "Whythe hell should I care what happens to you?" The name's Aleasha. Aleasha Zane. Archeologist of some reasonable fame, if I do say so myself. After all, I was the one who discovered this particular ruined city. I was the one who recovered the ancient Scepter of Ret'tek Annosh buried deep within its catacombs. I was the one who mistakenly awakened the sleeping corpses of the ancient cultists and their God-Emperor Yissik Hyan-Annosh by doing so. I was the one that took the Scepter back to the Greater Khazanian Museum of Antiquity and gained all the glory. I was the one that caused the hordes of undead to ravage the museum in search of their precious artifact. I was the one that, ever-so-inderectly, caused Bas to be captured by the undead legions of Hyan-Annosh to become their latest sacrifice (don't blame me, man, she was trying to steal the Scepter in the middle of the attack by the zombie hordes, that's her own damn fault). I was the one who agreed to help save her out of the pureness of my heart (that and Alex is just damn hot *winkwink*). And now I'm the one that just now narrowly rescued Bas from the sacrificial slab, just to run down a dead end. If I survive this, I better damn well get the glory and not that wiseass Aleister...
You see... *runs past a creature just as it lunges forward to attack* back in my school days... *makes a quick turn, causing two zombies flanking her to impale one another* my school chums called me Set's Mistress. They said... *stops in her tracks for a moment as an arrow flys in front of her* that my luck with school assignments surely had to have something to do with some ungodly pact I made with the unholy forces of the universe. *punches a zombie, causing it to fly into a wall and trigger a switch* Oh crap... that isn't good. *giant black pearl descends from a trapdoor in the ceiling, crushes several zombies and causing Bas to gape in awe at how much that baby'd bring in on the black market* Anyway... *resumes running, only faster* without boring you with a long story, I had the most uncanny luck, and no matter what I'd do, and no matter how much I'd party and slack off, I'd always pull off the A. And since I was an archeology student, and had plenty of Egyptology obsessed friends, they... *giant pearl closes in, crushes more zombies* naturally insisted that I was in league with Set, the devil figure of Egyptian myth. Of course, it was all nonsense, but... *giant statue of elder god tumbles over right behind Aleasha and Bas, crushing the remaining zombies and impeeding the path of the pearl* God, no, Bas. How in the hell would we carry the bleeding thing out of here? Lets book it out of here before more of those things find us...
Terrain Familiarity: Caves
Terrain Familiarity: Standard
You know, Bas... I love the underground. No, I'm not some halfwit revolutionary! I mean these deep, dark, dank caves. You can just lose yourself in them, you know? No, not literally, I know exactly where we're going! Map? I have no need for a map! I'm one with the stalagmites and stalagtites. They're my family. Ok, now that was just dirty, Bas. And Alex says I'm a whore. Geeze... See? Right down that corridor. That'll take us outside. No zombies that way, I'm sure of it. Rumbling sound? Eh... don't worry about it. I'm positive its coming from the other side of the caves.
Shut up, Bas... shut up... I said SHUT UP! ...Thank you very much! How the bloody hell was I supposed to know there had been a cave-in? The last time I was here this pathway led straight to the surface. Oh yeah, as if I have some sort of super-intuition power that tells me where to go. Isn't that Aleister's girlfriend's schtick? What was her name? Oklahoma? Wyoming? Oh yes... Texas! Oh... is that jealousy I hear in your voice, Bas? Dear me, Bas... I didn't know you felt that way about good ol' Al. Deny it all you want, Bas, deny it all you want... hey! You know, you could be helping me dig our way out of this rockspill. I may be Ms. Speilunker around here, but you could at least move a rock or two. Chip a nail? You have bloody sharpened cat claws for God's sake... lazy felines are all alike...
Spider Climb: Supreme
I don't want to HEAR it, Bas! Oh yes, I do so remember learning in my Ancient Mystic Civilizations class that the God-Emperors of the Annosh dynasty had the mystic ability to control their tombs and create and alter pathways at will. That's REALLY the sort of thing we learn in university. Just hold on and don't fall to your death or any rubbish like that. I've scaled worse cave walls than this before. Sure, I did that without someone afriad of heights clinging to me for dear life, but I can manage. Can you quit quivering, it isn't THAT far down if you fall. You just have to fend off the mummified alligators that are snapping in hunger that are waiting down below. Maybe it WOULD be better if you died from the fall. If that's the case why don't you wait until we're higher before you make us both fall to our deaths, if you would be so kind...
Terrain Familiarity: Lava Cliffs
Terrain Familiarity: Standard
No, I prefer this to the alligators. Sure we'd have a fighting chance against them... sort of... and sure if we make one false step we'll plummet to a very toasty death, but I find getting smouldered to death in lava a bit more stylish than getting eaten by undead gators. You're a cat, you shouldn't be worried. Cat-like reflexes and all that rot, right? I'm the human here and I'm jumping with ease. Of course, I have experience on my side. I've seen worse lava rivers in my time. There was this one time where I had to tightrope walk across a burning rope to get across one of these lava flows. Hopping from rock to rock is a piece of cake compared to that if you ask me. Woah, Bas, don't jump to that one! See? you'd have been a crispy critter, it was about ready to sink into the lava. I just know these things, Ok? Got the knack. I resent that, Bas. I'm a swindler, not a traitor. Besides, I don't go for those undead lord types. They're so cold in the sack.
Not Just For Digging, Eh?
Thrusting Attack: Superior
Hey... I didn't mean that crack, guys. The one about being cold in... ack! Ok, maybe that's not why these zombies have attacked us. That's right... they're mindless. Duh, Aleasha, you stupid girl. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. What are we going to do, Bas? Fight back? ...I never would have thought of that. Thanks! *pulls out her pickaxe and jams it into the nearest Zombie's forehead* Wow... that actually worked. Go figure. *charges at the oncoming mob of zombies like the fool she is*
Resistances: Arcane Lore
You alright, Bas? Finished off the zombie horde? Cool deal. Yeah, I'm having a little... trouble here. *is being dangled over the lava cliffs by God Emperor Yissik Hyan-Annosh himself* He says he's going to kill me for defiling his temple. Sucks, doesn't it? For him, not me! *kicks off of Annosh, loosening his grip, and lands teetering on the edge of the cliff above the lava flow* The undead really, REALLY get on my nerves. *punches Annosh square in the face, surprisingly sending him over the edge himself into the smouldering lava* Yeah baby! Win one for the living. WHOO! *Bas just sighs and shakes her head* Now... how in the hell do we get out of here?