The Shuteye Train

Hall Of Fame!

Survival - 8 Wins!

Brutal - 1 Fatalities


Alignment: Hero

Team: Solo Hero


Strength: Standard

Agility: Standard

Mind: Standard

Body: Standard


Personal Wins: 8

Personal Losses: 3

Loco Dantes

For a long time it was dark here. It's not that there wasn't light, the people simply could not see it. The spark was there though, drowning in a sea of neon signs and flickering television sets. It waited. Waited for someone to find it. On South Street in Philadelphia. The City of Brotherly Love. We were the ones who found it. Us four who are called The Shuteye Train. The Shuteye Train found the light in a dumpster on South Street. The light was not alone; there were Punks there with it. They warmed their hands on it but they could not understand what it was. That's where We came in. We took the light into Our hands and showed the Punks the truth. The light they had been warming their hands on was the spark that would bring the world back to what it had lost. We took the light into an empty library and the Punks followed. The light illuminated the empty shelves and broken desks, and it was there that we sat down to explain some things to the Punks. We told the Punks the truth about why they were so dirty. And stupid. And angry at something, though unsure of what it was. And, like Punks, they reacted with fury. They thought that it was Us who they were angry at. And so they sought to make Us prove Our worth the only way they knew how. Through combat. On South Street. And so the Punk bands of Philadelphia tested Us, The Shuteye Train. The Hypocrites and the Masticators came, and fell. As did the Juntas, the Brain Dead, the Sex Queens, the Glimmers, the Great Unwashed, the Mudwasps, the Bigots, and many others who fell before The Shuteye Train. The Epissles, in their wisdom, chose to stand beside Us in this. We will speak more of the wisdom of the Epissles later. And so it went, the Punk bands were defeated in turn and became convinced that it was not Us who they were angry at, rather it was Them. The Epissles spoke to their Punk brethren and put forth that the Punk bands were all a part of Us, to which the bands were amiable. And that is how it became Us against Them. And so began the true education of the Punks. In an empty library. On South Street. We took the light and taught the Punks to read. We forced their noses into books and pried their eyes open until they were done. And then the Punks thought they knew something. Because they had read. And were now well read. Whatever that means. We showed the Punks that they were wrong. We told the Punks that it was Them who had written these books. The knowledge within them was a drug meant to placate and control Us. And the Punks were enraged. As is the common reaction of Punks to most things. Then the Epissles spoke, saying that the Punks must first write their own books and in that way they would create new knowledge. Knowledge without Their taint. And the Punks agreed, for the most part. A few bands spoke of a need to burn and destroy the books written by Them, to prevent the spread of Their evil. To which the Epissles responded that the Punks should not burn the books, but rather they should study the books. To find the questions that We must answer in order to seek the knowledge that We would write about. But those other Punks were stubborn, and called the Epissles to challenge. It would be combat. On South Street. The Shuteye Train watched as the Epissles felled the Virus Queens, the Fetid Meat, the Food Stamps, and the Broken Wings. When it was over there were no more Punks who maintained that the books written by Them should be destroyed. And so, with the light found in the dumpster on South Street illuminating their path, the Punks set out to find their own knowledge. A knowledge for Us to use against Them. And in that search the Punks gained many Weapons. Weapons given by Us, The Shuteye Train, and which the Punks were trained to use by the most wise of Punk bands, the Epissles.

We are not simply We. We are Us. And Us is infinitely more powerful than We. Who We are will become unimportant. The Shuteye Train will be forgotten one day. Of this We have no doubt. We are not here for glory. Not directly anyway. Glory may come from the works that We have done. We uncovered the light on South Street. We gave the light to the Punks. It is the Punks who hold the future in their hands. We will put our faith in the Epissles and guide them for as long as the Punks desire us to do so. When We taught the Punks to read was when We truly became Us. And it is Us who will change the world. It is Us who will regain the knowledge that They have stolen from Us. As the old knowledge is regained The Shuteye Train will fade away, for when that time comes The Shuteye Train will no longer be needed in order to maintain that which has become Us.

Immunity: Illusion Creation

     Immunity: Standard


That was the first thing We learned about Them. And by Them, We mean to say You. You didn't know? You are one of Them, because You are certainly not one of Us. We know all about You and Your tricks. We've read all of Your books. We watched Your television and listened to Your music. At first You had Us fooled. We believed Your history. Your story of how it all came to be. We know now that it was all lies. The only good thing You gave Us were the questions. Questions We now seek answers to. But We won't be fooled by You anymore. Your lies are worthless to You now. Abandon them, and perhaps You will survive to see what We will bring to this world.



     Detective: Supreme


It began when The Shuteye Train forced the Punks to read in that empty library on South Street. The Punks sat down and for the first time used their minds over their fists. It took some getting used to. There were many battles over what the Punks should read and what should be sought out in the reading. Luckily for the Punks the Epissles were there to set things straight when things went the way they always do when Punks try to decide something. That is to say, during the combat on South Street. The Epissles were victorious, thanks to the aid of The Shuteye Train. And so it was decided that the Punks should read about history for the most part. The history the Punks read told the Punks everything about Them. And by Them, We mean to say You.



     Illusion Creation: Ultimate

  • Auto-Hit Attack


But it would not be enough for Us to simply read. Understanding and knowing the enemy is all well and good, but what use is that knowledge if it is allowed to remain unchallenged. The Punks quickly decided that in order for You to be defeated it would be necessary for Us to learn to write. And so that's what the Punks decided to do. Naturally, the Punks could not agree on what to write. Some wanted to write about the harshness of reality, as that's what the Punks knew the most about. Others wanted to write about fantasy worlds where the world was a utopia, as that was what the Punks most wanted to see accomplished. Still others wanted to write about sex, as that was all the Punks thought about most of the time. On South Street the Punks engaged in another series of bouts to decide things. The Punk writer bouts lasted for days, until The Shuteye Train intervened at the request of the Epissles. The Shuteye Train decreed that the Punk writers should seek answers to the questions raised in the histories they had read. The Shuteye Train held that it was only in that way that the Punks could hope to change the world. The Punk bands agreed, and began to answer questions and so change the world.



     Matter Animation: Ultimate

  • Ranged Attack Only


And so it was that the Punks finished reading and sat down to finally get something productive done. For the first time the Punks worked with their minds. These Punks were different. Punks who think. Punks who read. Punks who write. And ultimately, Punks who would shape the world. The Punks wrote many things. Much of it was horrible. Which is to be expected. After all, the Punks were illiterate not too long ago. Still, the Punks worked hard to make the answers that had been found into a reality. You helped Us in this. We looked at how You made the world and We stole Your ideas. We bet You're kicking Yourself now over the whole thing. But We can't sit back and laugh just yet. Our answers are incomplete still, and We have much yet to learn in order to fix all of Your mistakes. But remember this, We are here now. And We will not be stopped.


Terrain Familiarity: Bar Fight

     Terrain Familiarity: Standard


The world is Ours. The fact that You stand where You do is nothing more than Our will. We have written this, and it is so. We have done more than the likes of You can possibly imagine. The words that shape this place flow from Us. We are the fountain head. We are creation. This world has become Our home. We have made it so and so IT is. This cannot be contested. You have no 'turf' here. All is what We have created. Never changing. We have made this place so that We alone have majesty over Our surroundings. You are a stranger here.