I-Smite-You-Now

Hall Of Fame!

Survival - 8 Wins!

Brutal - 4 Fatalities

AFFILIATION

Alignment: Hero

Team: Reavers

VITAL STATS

Strength: Standard

Agility: Superior

Mind: Weak

Body: Standard

RECORD

Personal Wins: 8

Personal Losses: 3

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Again oh fair city wherein the destitution of destructions come, do I roam! And wherein, mark, doth feets of purging kick oh so frantic at the galling baying mayhem of injusticeness? Hear words that enter from my mouth to the ears of you who brave the injust course of wronglivity, for know you now that right has come, and, in coming, breaks forth from my fists like yon Athena from her fair father's brow! Behold, for I, being me and in doing so refer to myself as that visage of "I-Smite-You-Now" being that same naming devise as the elusive self (namely, me), yell out at those which devising evil plan heartily against the weak, "Behold villains, for "I-Smite-You-Now", being me, have coming to burden you with vengeance not unlike the burdensome blows which dealt you to others! Are I not well oiled? Doth my muscles not flicker forth, unshirted and solid? Veer you now, villains, for justice falls from my fists like your blood—that is both quirksome and vengeful!" And so, in hearing great pleas of mine, they do run like tender leaves falling in that pale autumn month of Fall, rendering fearsome fear into their own hearts for my calls have that tantical effect of purging. Do you not perceive my new garments? Are they not tasteful and becoming on such turgid flesh? They reveal well my biceps, abs, calves and buttocks, no? Doth fraid be you, those willing evil and wrongness on one another, for such a well dressed man, whose name is my own, will spring forth like volcanuous ashes down on little Pompeii-criminal-man-city-place, being metaphoric, such that volcanuous instrument of destruction, me, perils his fists and cleaving fingers and teeth against the Pompeii city place, being thou villain, and causing great destruction therein. Thus, know terror of thine!

What may I add to yonder pages of praises becoming of me? I know not the splenderous words befitting such a man—so humble—that he may implore said words (as mentioned previously), using them on himself. Yet in justice's name, being both just and good and therefore well sought out by those seeking it, I shall implore words speaking of the stature of a man—this man—whose name I rightly bear as it refers to me. Benevolent and gracious, no? Have you not hear of the fair maidens calling from windows down to streets as I venture forth punches kicks and, if occasion permitting, scratches and bites, "Oh fair hero whose child I wish to bear, you are both vigilant and wise! I wish to touch those well oiled and nicely tanned deltoids! Are you not strong? Does your eyes not seek this way and that, looking for the vile villains of villainy to strike forth from their vilehood? Your pants appear tight and becoming, no?"

Agile Fists of Hurting!

     Concussive Attack: Superior

  • Area Affect

 

Observe these fists that impart hurting upon those I befit to impart thereon and notice the pain which they establish! Are these fists, both well manicured and well tended, not the method of establishing pain on those whose evilness I seek to counter through fist-like encounterments? Notice how, being here, I hit them, being there, over distiances great and numerous. Are I not skilled? Who, being like me, imparts fury with their ferocity and feral fist flinging fanatics? Does not my shirt so tightly reveal the many muscles I have in my chest? Doth thou see my scars of battle, by no means hideous, and not you think of me greatly, no?

 

Immunity: Flight

     Immunity: Standard

 

Seek you advantage from hovering in clouds like birdlike man, whose droppings honorable fighters, myself being one, must dance in circles to avoid? Come down, palpable wretch, and face these fists that entangle you!

 

The "Alum

     Vehicle: Standard

 

Notice the power to which I petal, yonder infidel of horridities, is not my BMX well tended, sparkly and clear? Have you not that want for a bike such as mine, that you may dart through speedy traffic ever so speedily? Would that I could pluck thee from the forefront of battle and throttle you with the cleansing power of my liver, for I-Smite-You-Now's liver, even, knows the penance stored up in his bowels for the villainy you are, fiend!

 

Running!

     Running: Standard

 

Notice, too, that I have trained my feet in the exercise of movement, that should the great Aluminum Justice's wheel let loose its gas like powerful solar flares in the night sky, I can make use of the feet's innate powers of movement well.

 

Dashingness!

     Pheremones: Superior

  • Ranged Attack Only
  • Auto-Hit Attack
  • Area Affect
  • Target Seeker

 

Notice, then, doth you women flock at me? Make me then some cookery, for the just and powerful stomach of this title holder of titles befitting a man of good standing and winsome chamnpionisms hunger for true dietary charms of beautiful damsels that impart their beauty to me. Not so that I beguile their charms! For I am chaste and have sworn chastity that I may further devote my life to the purging of this fair city. Are my fists not two swinging tigers? Is it not like I have tied two tigers on each hand, totaling four tigers I then suppose, such that each swagger of a fist bellows chunks out of the opponent mine? Do not you understand mine heart pure and unbridged by the beautiful wenches that beseech me—as greatly numerous and splendid as they are, yes?

 

Immunity: Pheremones

     Immunity: Standard

 

Now, as I dance heavenly between clouds, nearly naked and moistened in the morning mist of your mourning fantasies that come at you in the mourning, you must realize that no women has my heart, excepting maybe the great Justice lady as seen on statues holding scales and that other lady "High Wire," for she is much fetching though villainous she be: I am pure and therefore clean! My buttocks are like two rolling rocks, though not the alcohol by the same name, but instead shapely rocks that grind together in a befitting manner as to one dedicated to the upholding of good and true goodness.

 

Powerful Powers!

     Damage Shield: Ultimate

  • Area Affect

 

Notice well, too, that I have exceeding power that go beyond the exceedency of the powers listed here, such that there are more things that I am able to do that are both hurtful and impressive.

 

Hurt You Me?!

     Environmental Awareness: Standard

 

Angry and hostile be it you? Deflect it at me? I think not so, else why not I dodge with ease like that of handsome tiger prowling with tiger like prowess! Have you at mine own, no? Doth you flinch and wither your smites at me, but not so for I, I-Smite-You-Now, know of such feeble trickery as this, and, in knowing thus becoming known, I seek you undone in your feebleness! Are I not a rock of civility? Doth I not swagger to and to? I am well oiled, no?

 

Smell you of your mind!

     Telekinesis: Standard

 

So think you that you hurt me some? Well then, fiend that I detest and with to hurt in order that justice prevail, know that I, being the very same man that has been speak thus this entirety of time, know that you, being evil and not too bright unlike myself, both well proportioned and oiled as well as possessing smartingness, wish hurtings on me. I know thus by your smell, wrong doing vulgar man and/or woman (depending upon gender and situation, one word or the other, as indicated by the "/" mark that also, by some, is referred to as "slash") who I would, with my pummeling fists, slash in the name of that Justice I do so represent.