The Battle Turtle


Gender: Male

Kit: Techno

Location: The Headquarters of the Crime-Out Crew


Alignment: Hero

Team: The Angels of Mercy


Strength: standard (rank 1)

Agility: standard (rank 1)

Mind: standard (rank 1)

Body: standard (rank 1)

Spirit: (rank )

Charisma: (rank )


Fame Points: 0

Personal Wins: 1

Personal Losses: 0

Team Wins: 0

Team Losses: 0

Tourney Wins: 0

Tourney Losses: 0


Status: Blocked


You know "The Tortoise and The Hare". That was me. The reporters got the story all wrong. The fact checkers were being lazy that day. I'm a turtle, not a tortoise. They said the bunny went to sleep, but that's just the kids' version. Truth is: I fed him a whole belt from a minigun I got mounted to my back just before the race. They never said that weapons weren't allowed, I think it's fair.

So I lit up the racetrack with this minigun and then I completed the race. On my way back home, some bastard picked me up. He owns me now, I didn't much mind. I didn't have much else to do.

They said I was "Radical" and that I could help them a lot. Whatever.


I'm the Team Pet now. I don't much like it. I don't hate it either. They give me lettuce when I ask. My owners are nice enough to me. They let me roam around the Headquarters as much as I like. But, they never let me speak in interviews or go for walks by myself. Pretty much like a pet.

I tried to escape once, but I'm a turtle. It didn't work at all. My leader owner guy caught me right outside the headquarters. I barely got anywhere. It was kind of depressing actually. I tried shooting my owner once, but the bastard is bulletproof. I've used flaming bullets, hollow points, even explosive bullets. He doesn't even get close to dying.

Just walking around the headquarters gets so boring. I just kinda wanna go do something else. Rob a bank, go find a female turtle to get jiggy with, pretty much anything to break the monotony. Whenever the team is out on call, they bring me.

But even that gets really boring after a while. I shoot a bastard and then he falls down and then we go home. They've never taken me down to the pond to talk to other turtles. They never took me to the park and put me in one of the swings. I never got to do anything fun.

And I can't run away because I am a turtle.


Team Uniform

     Armor: standard (rank 1)


Oh look at that, my owner has provided me with a metal exo-skeleton. It's big and clunky, so I can't fit in my shell anymore. I hate my owner, who puts plate armor on a turtle? That's the dumbest idea ever.



     Piercing Weapon: superior (rank 2)

  • Ranged Attack
  • Multi-Attack


My minigun started the whole thing, and I absolutely hate it now. It's not heavy, I'm used to carrying the weight. But it's the only thing that keeps me in the team and I just want to leave. Why oh why did I have it welded to my skeleton.

Guess killing criminals is all this is good for.



     Fire: standard (rank 1)


HOLY CRAP! These people are awesome! Somehow, they managed to make bullets that SET THINGS ON FIRE. And they GAVE ME SOME.

I love these people. I love my minigun. But most of all, I love FIRE. I'm always itching to go out on a mission now so that I can aim this baby at someone's fuel tank.

FLAMING BULLETS, Science is cool!



     Concussive Weapon: superior (rank 2)


...Oh. Mah. Gawd. These bullets explode. Somehow, they've managed to put GRENADES in BULLET FORM.

Anyone else ever shot a rabbit with a grenade? No? It's AWESOME. One day we had a mission off in Jersey, and I saw one just crossing the street. BOOM, blew the sucker up. Got blood and guts all over the damn street.

Explosive bullets are fun.