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#1 weezlee2010

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 03:25 PM

so i have three character's i'm trying to create but i have recently noticed that in my research to do this correctly now one seems to be actually describing their powers just starting on a story from background and everyone just continues through their personalities all the way to their last power. My question is that the correct way to make a character because when I first was going to start it has in the player creation that your back story is in the background box and then the powers would b described in their boxes. I have read some that seem to be doing it correctly, but alot seem to be doing it as one long story through of the boxes can someone tell me which is right or more favored so i can be confident and start kicking some ass 

 

thank you



#2 Pseudonym

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 03:31 PM

You can do either. You choose. Look at who is winning though, in my experience it tends to be the Story-Driven characters. Power Lists with great voices like A Sack Full of Spiders can also do pretty well, but you have to make sure that it's interesting to read. 

 

I guarantee you, I will be bored if I read.

 

Standard Fire

 

he has um fire fists and he can punch real hot! his fists burned one time through a whole house

 

 

Bottom Line: If you bore us, we won't vote for you.



#3 Landon

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 03:43 PM

Look at it like this:

 

When you read a comic or go see a movie or whatever, do you wanna have someone describe something to do, or do you wanna see that something actually happening?



#4 Ivan

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 05:53 PM

FIRST AND FOREMOST THANK YOU!
Thank you for two things.
First: taking the time to read other characters before submitting.
Second:  Asking for input nicely on the boards.

Just to add another agreeing voice to the masses: what both of these creators have said is accurate.  The phrase used most often around here is "Show, don't tell." The idea is that this is a vote-driven site, and although we won't make any claims as to there being a correct or incorrect way to write a character, certain traits, like quality storytelling, tend to garner more votes from other users than just picking some powers and saying that they're powers.  In Pseudonym's example of "the wrong way" to do it, there are seeds of a story, and it is a writer's job to nourish those seeds.  A character's hands burning with uncontrollable fire.  A destroyed house.  There is a Midas-level tragedy under the surface there, begging for someone to tell us about this man, cursed to never again be able to hold his daughter, directing his loneliness and anger into his fists.  Telling us his mere touch was enough to incinerate his house is not enough for most voters.  You need to let us feel the heat, smell the smoke, hear the screams.    

Without getting too deep into the philosophy of it, the general consensus among voters is that character creation is about much more than picking superpowers from a list- it's about crafting a living conduit for storytelling.  
 

If you would like feedback from the voters before you submit your character, the Character Analysis board is a good place to post.



#5 treacherous

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 06:42 PM

This v

http://www.electricf...-gritty-thread/

Always that ^

#6 Ivan

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 06:57 PM

Needs Updating, treach.  It mentions Street Level, which is no longer a thing.  Come to think of it, the Character Template thread needs updating now, too.



#7 Pseudonym

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 07:15 PM

In Pseudonym's example of "the wrong way" to do it, there are seeds of a story, and it is a writer's job to nourish those seeds.  A character's hands burning with uncontrollable fire.  A destroyed house.  There is a Midas-level tragedy under the surface there, begging for someone to tell us about this man, cursed to never again be able to hold his daughter, directing his loneliness and anger into his fists.  Telling us his mere touch was enough to incinerate his house is not enough for most voters.  You need to let us feel the heat, smell the smoke, hear the screams.    

 

Don't write that though, you'd get Completely Engulfed in Flames Man. Who already exists. Or existed.



#8 treacherous

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 08:18 PM

Needs Updating, treach.  It mentions Street Level, which is no longer a thing.  Come to think of it, the Character Template thread needs updating now, too.


Hmm, good point.

#9 Pseudonym

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 08:22 PM

If Nitty Gritty is going to be our Tutorial, it should be pinned somewhere.



#10 weezlee2010

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 12:48 AM

ok thank you very very very MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is super helpful i have been extremely nervous in creating the 3 characters i have in my head and now i am confident to kick ass



#11 weezlee2010

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 08:02 AM

so here is what i have so far that you guys helped push out of me

 

Background

Power. Such a word can make men crazy, or fall to their knees in fear. To one man though it's a curse that has plagued the world and quite possibly the universe. In a world where it seems that everyone is giving themselves powers through the means of science, or “accidents” one man does not care. Even if given these gifts by God men abuse these abilities, gifts, or superpowers except by this one man. This one man is me, and I go by the Prophet. I do not hate God for giving me my abilities, because from the visions I get from my ancestors he gave them to my family in means to protect this world from those who choose to go against the way of the world and bring humanity to its knees with whomever is threatening it with their “power.” It sounds Hippocratic I know why should I and my family before take this course of action even though I, myself have powers. Well that goes back before my time let me show you...

 

“Once upon a time”

 

Sorry, that was stupid I do not tell you stories, I show you the past through my illusions...

 

“My dearest family,” Ezekiel wrote while tearing up. “ I write this letter in which I know no one will ever read. I have learned from the normals in the Guardians Order, that you all intend to abuse our gifts from God that have been past down through our family through the good deeds we did back when we served King Solomon. I know from my brother in which his life I had to take in order to be strong enough to stop you all from turning the Crusades into a complete chaos in which normal people would fear us. I can not let this happen in anyway. I have tried talking to the leaders of our family, about this corruption, but it seems as though I am alone in the old ways of thinking. Therefore as a result I myself have prayed long and hard on the decision of my future actions. I will kill everyone of you and no longer keep the Solomon name. Once I am done I shall be known as Osiris Von Vesling. From there I shall pass my powers continuously throughout time till the true Ezekiel Solomon comes baring the abilities to wipe out all gifts from God forever.” “God's faithful servant Osiris Von Vesling.”

 

That is the reason I have the conscience to destroy everyone with superpowers, if my family would not have betrayed the normals of the Guardians Order, I would have other like myself. Instead I am alone though I do have family none of them know of our families true past. Now I await the coming of the one Osiris talked about “Ezekiel Solomon” which happens to be my future child. Now this may seem odd, why wouldn't I just find some broad, nail her take her child and name it Ezekiel? That's stupid and Juvenile that's why! Plus I have to wait till I receive a vision from the chosen mother and correct bloodline that will give Ezekiel that ultimate ability to turn everyone's powers off, including my own. Until then I have been in hiding in the sewers of the United States, searching with corrupt superpower users, and on occasion actually trying to meet my future wife to be in order to bring the Chosen One to life. With that as a goal though I have strict orders from G.O., to wait for her to find me or fall into my arms instead, and pursue targets with great superpowers and stop them.

 

Well as I said, “I have gifts that have been past down to me through my ancestors, which they got from God,” remember. Well those gifts included an enormous amount of intelligence, not trying to brag or anything, but I have won countless mind games as a child and was pretty well-known for it. Then come the original abilities my family received when they had faithfully served and helped King Solomon which were superior telekinesis and superior illusion casting. Then when Osiris killed his brother back all those years ago, he gained an extreme boost of intelligence, and his telekinesis no longer gave him side affects, along with his telekinesis abilities increasing to Supreme Mode and able to use it in many different ways. Once he gained that ability and killed the rest of our family including the high elders he gained more intelligence, and his illusion casting went into Supreme Mode...

Personality
Once Osiris established himself and his abilities he past them to the only person to have these abilities before I received them, and that was Damian, who thankfully did all my training for me in perfecting each ability and granted that each ability will come back to me in certain times in my life. Intelligence came first, at the surprising age of 5. at 10 the ability of illusions were unlocked and life was a little easier, and at 16 I gained all knowledge from Damian to use telekinesis . Now I won't tell you my age now for I don't know if my enemies are listening, but I'll have you know I am very capable of killing you instantly.

 

The thing I find amusing though is that G.O., is afraid of me, even though I have signed with “my blood” literally on a document they keep declaring my faith to the foundations G.O stands for. The only thing is G.O., does not know that while taking down my targets I usually don't have to use a single muscle that is, except with my mind I'll explain later.

 

Now my reason for killing my target's is simple to get rid of as many evil men or women with abilities as I can before the Chosen One comes. How I learn of these target's is I either am making a man with incredible power angry and he finds me, or G.O sends the most creepy looking man I have ever seen to bring me the info on my next target and from there I use my illusions to hunt him down, or using telekinesis to teleport to him and destroy him right then and there. On rare occasions though I do team up with the creepy fellow who delivers my target info and another gentleman who even though possesses abilities he does it surprisingly under the string of G.O. The two men are known as X-Factor, and Freak. Freak is the one that creeps me out with his constant smile and barely open eyes. Other than that I'm usually on my own just like I was as a kid...

Weakness-Psychic Shield
As a child growing up for me was very different, I mean at five I was gaining intelligence so rapidly I could have long chats with old men while beating them at chess by the time I turned 6. then at 10 I gained illusions which became a very unique time for me. As I gained each ability the amount power to each ability would grow depending on how much I used it. With intelligence it wasn't hard getting used to or getting good at it, I mean could u imagine being 7 and being able to out smart most of your teachers, and then finally forced by your parents after your 9th school change to just leave the teachers alone. Sadly though illusions was an ability at my age that even though I was smart I never felt right at the young age of 10. My first knowledge of having it came to me in a dream from Damian on the stroke of midnight on my tenth birthday...

 

“My name,” Damian said, “the time for your first true ability has come, you will be able to progress in your abilities by using it more and more and your mind will allow you to use it in ways I never could have, good luck.”

 

As I woke up that morning I remembered it as though it actually happened, but as any ten year old would with my intelligence, I acted as though nothing happened. After that day the dream kept on reoccurring till finally a month had gone by and I finally asked the dream what so called “ability” am I gaining. The answer was illusions, so the nest school day while bored listening to the teacher I tried it out. I sat and thought for the longest time what I could possibly do to prove that I have this ability so I finally go the courage enough to make all my efforts on constraining on covering up with an illusion of blowing a spit ball at the biggest means bully we had at school. It had worked and from then on during my times before high school I concentrated on playing little pranks on every kid in school except one kid. That kid was Johnny D. Evilstein. Evilstein was later a target of mine and when I learned he had the ability of shielding his mind it all became clear. Still before I found that out, Johnny D. Evilstein was the one kid from the time I was 14 and found I couldn't trick him, he became my worst enemy and unfortunately was my biggest bully in high school... 

Weak Charisma
So I was the victim of bullying who cares they never actually picked on the real me, but the copy of me still receives feelings and pain which didn't help me to much in high school. First of reasons I got picked on by Evilstein is that I couldn't fool him with direct illusion casting so I got my ass beat, quite a bit for not being able to get out of his way. Second I was a quite kid once I turn 14, I spent almost all of my first two years in high school think of reasons why I couldn't put Evilstein under my illusions. For that I was very off putting to a lot of people, sure I had my little group of people when I wasn't busy trying to discover was to capture him into an illusion but I of course never did. Another reason I got picked on was that I was as attractive as all the other guys at school. Now I wasn't completely butt ugly but I wasn't getting a girlfriend or dates with the way I looked. Now I wasn't ashamed of it cause I never hid it with my illusions, but it was another thing that lead to my unending torment for Evilstein. Though I had all this going against me it somehow got worse...
Weak Strength
I was PATHETIC.... Johnny D. Evilstein kicked my ass... copied version of it anyway ALL THE TIME. I was a wussy though I wouldn't back down from a fight with him and all his buddies considering with them casting illusions was possible so making them think I kicked their asses was easy they never physically got hurt, but whenever Johnny D. order them to attack they would always freeze and he never understood so unfortunately he'd do it himself. So as weak as I was by the time I was 16 and about to become a Junior I had finally found my answer to this bully crisis. Not really, but I joined the basketball team, and returned to all the mind challenging clubs again. Of course the chess club, and other like it were easy to become the cool guy in even though my quietness still didn't bring any close friends at least I had people some what behind me cause they thought I was cool. When it came to basketball though, I knew my strength would be my downfall. So I trained the summer before my Junior year with my father and got good skill using my intelligence for the nerdy way to play basketball by always thinking of how to dribble or shoot the ball in theories of math and geometry, on what angles to shoot from, where to aim, and judge times when to do everything at the right moment. Thankfully I made the team, but the bad thing was I wasn't ever strong enough and during practices always got bullied again and again by Johnny D. Evilstein. Finally though after the off season while practicing with Dad again I learned that if I use telekinesis powers I could possibly enhance my strength enough to play rough ball and possibly start next season. I did thanks to telekinesis, but once again not using my intelligence when needed in the middle of the season during practice I was throwing full court shoots by myself, and got caught by none other then Johnny D. who started calling me freak which lead me to quite, but now thinking back to it, it probably was a good thing...  
Supreme Intelligence
Even though I was slowly replacing Johnny D. as the star of the basketball team after he caught sent me back to my roots of being the loner I am and left me to explore my mind and powers to their fullest extent. I eventually dropped out of every activity I had been apart of do to the fact it was getting to easy and my last semester of high school was spent on my devotion to mastering my abilities, the debate team, and speech contest. That was where winning never got old. With my mind I was always able to choose the extremely controversial topics and win just with smarts alone no illusions needed. I brought down people against anything I wished to debate about. Speech contest was my favorite though, the field I did the most was argumentative stands against whatever I wanted. It was like showing a baby how to walk every single time the judge sat in his chair stunned by the amount of research I did and how hard he would have to work in order to prove me wrong. The other field I did in speech for fun was creative inventions or new was of thinking speeches. That was always a ht and miss with judges because in some situations I hit sensitive areas and they did not like them simply because they could not get past their self centered views they had been taught, but when it came to creative inventions the thing I loved to fool them with the most was the future for people to fly which of course I used telekinesis to momentarily levitate myself and everyone would always freak out. Once I left high school though, and I figured I might as well go to college. I went to a well known school for the studies in Psychology got my PhD. Within years and all the knowledge about the brain and how we absorb knowledge through our brain I had completely mastered my illusion ability by the time I finished college the Guardians Order found me I told them give me 2 more years to go study atoms and molecular energy so I could gain extreme knowledge for my ability of telekinesis. After those two years I was finally a full member of the Guardians Order and sent on my first missions...
Supreme Illusions
yet to be written
Supreme Telekinesis
yet to be written


#12 Red_Dragon

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 08:29 AM

This is a good start. When you finish the last few powrs, post it in the Character Analysis boards. 



#13 treacherous

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 09:38 AM

If Nitty Gritty is going to be our Tutorial, it should be pinned somewhere.

 

Dude, it's been pinned in the CA since it happened.  It's pinned there now.  It does need an update now.  Time for Nitty Gritty 2.0.



#14 weezlee2010

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 02:29 AM

thank you everyone for ur comments






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