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Magi: The Stygian


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#1 Nihlium

Nihlium

    I like it on Omicron Ceti III, Jim

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Posted 28 June 2013 - 11:13 AM

Still have some stuff to edit but this basically it. He's the first in series of characters I'm planing on doing called the Magi.

 

 

 

137152412644847.jpg

PERSONAL

Character Level: Street Level

Gender: Male

Power Origination:

Location: The Ebony Oasis, Venus Junction

AFFILIATION

Alignment: Villain

Team: The Syndicate

VITAL STATS

Strength: Standard (rank 2)

Agility: Standard (rank 2)

Mind: Standard (rank 2)

Body: Standard (rank 2)

 

 

 

200x25xtitle_background.jpg.pagespeed.ic

 

The Stygian Void is a realm of disorder where peace goes to die

 

It is deadly and dark, horrid and stark and so must be it's Magi

 

He must live for vice and dance with death as he spits in virtues eyes

 

To keep the balance he must revel in agony and laugh as justice dies.

 

                                                                                    Gaspar Torsten,

                                                                                     Magi Arcanus

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was another busy night at the Ebony Oasis; the seats were filled with fat cats with even fatter wallets, gold digging vixens were on the prowl for a sugar daddy, the drunks were at their posts and there was a line outside that seemed to go on forever. The Ebony Oasis is known for many things; it's beautiful waitresses, peerless cuisine, top notch booze and many other reasons that are whispered in the shadows. But above all there is one thing that people have come far and wide for, and that is the owner of the Ebony Oasis, Vincent Coal. A man whose voice is only matched by his ability to "get things done".

 

It was ten o'clock in Venus Junction which meant Vincent Cole was in front of the large mirror in his dressing room preparing to perform for his patrons. With meticulous precision he combed back his hair and fixed his bow tie as he ensured that his perfectly groomed face was blemish free. As he listened to the muffled melody of the neo-swing band in the club a loud series of knocks came from his door.

 

"Come in!" he shouted as he straightened his suit.

 

The door quickly opened as a tall brunette in a cobalt dress entered the room with a folder filled with documents "Sorry to disturb you sir but some papers just came in that you have to sign."

 

"Fans or business?" asked Vincent not bothering to hide his disdain.

 

"Neither sir, it's from the Order."

 

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"Can't it wait Tiffany? I'm up in a few minutes." groaned Vincent as he checked himself over in the mirror "It's not like the world is going to end while I'm singing 'Fly Me To The Moon'"

 

"You know sir," sighed Tiffany "Sooner or later you're gonna have to stop being Vincent Coal and accept your responsibilities as the Magi of the Stygian Void."

 

Vincent walked over to Tiffany and kissed her on her forehead "Tiffy baby, even when the world ends and the Ebony Oasis is gone I will still be Vincent Coal." he winked at her flashing a mischievous grin and started walking out of the room "Besides, I'm sure you posses more than enough magical prowess to deal with what ever is in that folder." Vincent closed the door to his dressing room behind and started strutting down the hallway smiling as the statuesque emcee of the Ebony Oasis, Joey Salvatore, approached him.

 

"Da crowds all warmed up for ya Vinny."

 

"Good, how much time does the band have left." replied Vincent.

 

"They're just about done. There is one problem though. Mr.Styx ain't here."

 

"He's probably just late, he's a busy man." answered Vincent as the band finished their set "Now go out there do your job."

 

Joey ran out to the stage and started to introduce Vincent to the stage to an audibly enthusiastic crowd who's chant and cheers flowed into Vincent's ears "Ahhh, that sound, there's nothing like it in the universe." whispered Vincent to himself in self adoration. The Joey finished the introduction as he always did.

 

"And now ladies and gents here he is 'The Cupid' of Venus Junction, The 'Brightest Spark' in 'Star City' the man with the voice of a god! VINCENT COOOAAAALLL!!!!"

 

Vincent strutted out to the stage with effortless swagger as the roof rattling cheers of both men and women reached it's crescendo "That's right my friends, I'm here and you know what that means. Things are about to get blissfully hot and dangerously dirty."

 

200x25xtitle_powers.jpg.pagespeed.ic.cCz

Broken Connection

2108.gif     Senses Manipulation: (rank 0)

 

As if held by some euphoric enchantment the patrons gyrated and cheered as Vincent flawlessly performed his set. Every soul within the club was in a state jubilant admiration of the man who danced and sang upon the stage, every soul but three.

 

In a shadowy corner of the club hidden away from the seemingly infectious fervor of the crowd sat three hooded figures engulfed in a brooding aura as they watched Vincent perform "Look at him, up there reveling in their adoration. As if being the Magi of the Stygian Void was nothing but an insignificant title." snarled the thickest of the trio in a voice that seemed come from the throat of a cave.

 

"He must feel like a god. He has money, talent and power; with no one to challenge him....until now" snickered a feminine voice from the slimmest figure at the table "It's a shame that such a handsome man has to die."

 

The tallest of the group stood up commanding the attention of his comrades "He getting ready to finish, it's time to go" he slid through the unknowing crowd followed by his two allies being careful not to slowdown or draw attention. When they reached the door to the dressing rooms the were met by an abnormally large man dressed in a sleeveless vest that exposed his huge inhuman muscles "No one goes in without permission." grunted the guard folding his arms to show his muscles.

 

"Will you deal with this Vlad?" sighed the tall figure as he halted his steps.

 

Without hesitation Vlad punched the muscle bound brute in the stomach toppling him to the ground "Pathetic." without hesitation the group went through the door just in time to see Vincent enter his dressing room.

 

"Your turn Lily." stated Vlad as he dragged the guard into a dark corner.

 

Lily threw off her cloak revealing a slim curvacious woman hugged in a scarlet dress with her blond hair flowing down her back. She strode towards the dressing room only to be stopped by another muscle bound guard who with one touch to the cheek and a whisper to the ear simply marched away from the door. As Lily opened the door a blast of smoky energy swarme towards her head "Shit!" she cried as she darted into the room zigzagging towards Vincent as he fired blast after blast.

 

As Vincent prepared one last blast Lily vanished and reappeared behind him quickly placing a large green leech on his neck. Vincent staggered and fell to one knee "What did you do to me?"

 

In a display of unusual strength Lily lifted Vincent up from the ground and threw him into his chair smiling as her partners walked into the room and locked the door behind him "It's a Mara Leech. As long as it remains on your body you will be unable to sense mystical energy or use that infamous sight of yours, which means you are no longer connected to the Void." answered the tall cloak man as he removed his hood.

 

"Flamel!" barked Vincent s he laid his weary eyes on the silver haired man.

 

"Yes Stygian. It's me.

 

The Allure

x2606.gif.pagespeed.ic.8VdCe9pcrV.png     Enhanced Charisma: Supreme (rank 3)

 

A myriad of emotions swarmed within the room as the three assailants swarmed Vincents trembling body. Flamel triumphantly walked over to Vincent and bent his towering figure so that his jet black eyes leveled with Vincent's platinums "You didn't think I simply gave up did you, Stygian? I will become the new Stygian Magi whether you hand over your Magi Seal willingly or through bloody lips."

 

"Ha!" snorted Vincent "Do you think torture will work Flamel? You obviously have forgotten who I am."

 

Flamel stood up and ran his long fingers through Vincents silky black hair "Oh I remember. Torture won't work on one who has been to the Stygian Void, especially not you Magi." spat Flamel as he walked away from Vincent "But there is someone who I think will be quite susceptible, and I will enjoy breaking her." Flamel and Vlad exited the room leaving Vincent in the care of Lily.

 

"You know" sang Lily as she glided over to Vincent "If you cooperate with him we wont have to kill you. It would be a crime for such a fine man such as yourself to die for a silly title."

 

"I have no intention of dying or helping you."

 

"Come on Vinny. You know your not getting out of this victorious." giggled the gold haired maiden "I know why you go out on that stage. Why you run this club and work with the Syndicate." she placed her hand on his face and rubbed his cheek "You're lonely. Being a Magi of any domain from the Stygian Void to Valhalla is a lonely, loveless life."

 

"You have no idea." whispered Vincent behind a mask of sadness.

 

"Maybe not, but I can help you unshackle yourself from the chains of responsibility." she stroked his lips with the edge of her soft fingers as he brought her lips closer to his "All you have to do is tell me where the Magi Seal is."

 

Vincent placed his hand on Lily's face and smiled "Is freedom all that I'll get?"

 

Lily moved her hand from his mouth and replaced it with her tender lips shuddering as their arms explored each others bodies. She was so engrossed in the embrace that she didn't realize that she had knocked off the Mara Leech from Vincents neck; so engrossed that she didn't realize the leech floating in the air towards her own neck and landing on her tender flesh. As the creature sunk it's fangs into her she pushed Vincent away and began grasping at it. By the time she removed it Vincent had already unleashed a wave of black energy that sent her flying through the door.

 

The Stgyian Sense

2305.gif     Enhanced Senses: Superior (rank 2)

 

"Sorry hot stuff, bimbos aren't my type." Vincent stepped over Lily and straightened of his tie as the currents of infinite mystical energies revealed themselves to Vincent; the violet and azure smoke of astral energies, the silver streams of life and vitality, the erratic bolts of emotions and a plethora of energies known and unknown crashed upon him like a massive wave; and he loved it.

 

He exited the room bobbing his head to the band who's music was now bouncing throughout the building "Now where did those idiots go?" he mumbled as he sensed for trails of their aura to no avail "Hiding your energy huh? You should know better Flamel." the silver iris' of Vincents eyes vanished into a ring of darkness that infected the rest of his pupils with a caliginous glow. Before his shadowy eyes the veils of reality disintegrated revealing and tearing dimensions and planes away until the Void engulfed his surroundings.

 

"There is no hiding within the Void, Flamel." said Vincent to himself as he followed the grey images of Flamel and Vlad deep within the building."

 

One With The Void

2018.gif     Energy Absorption: Superior (rank 2)

 

Vlad lifted the decrepit body of a janitor with vicious glee moistening his face as he shouted at him "Where is Tiffany old man!"?

 

"I-I-I don't know!"

 

"Don't lie to me, I will kill you!" barked Vlad tightening his grip on the elderly mans collar.

 

"He obviously doesn't know Vlad; put him down so we can move on." sighed Flamel as he disappointingly frowned revealing every crevice and wrinkle on his face.

 

"The only part of you that's moving on is that wretched soul of yours Flamel!" roared Vincent amidst the crackling of black energy that started to fill the hallway "If you want the Seal your going to have to kill me, and we both know that ain't happening don't we old boy?"

 

Flamel spat on the floor and turned to Vlad "Tear him apart." after he gave his command he strode down another hallway mumbling strange profanities under his breath.

 

Vlad dropped the janitor like a bag of garbage and snickered as he threw off his cloak revealing a shirtless body rife with muscles and crimson hieroglyph tattoos that radiated an eery glow "You ready to die bastard?" the light emanating from the tattoos intensified releasing random burst of energy with each step he started to take towards Vincent.

 

"Flamel does know how to recruit doesn't he?" mused Vincent unfazed by the violent surges of energy that ravaged the hallway "I wonder, did he ever tell you about the risks of utilizing Makhai Seals?"

 

"No, and I don't give a damn!" he bellowed as charged at Vincent stopping only when hes near enough to throw his massive energy laden fist at Vincent. Each powerful strike he launched at Vincent was easily deflected by the smaller man with ease and with each move deflected grew Vlad's rage and ferocity.

 

With each attack Vincents face morphed into a mask of boredom until instead of blocking the barrage of fists he caught both of Vlad's club like hands "You're particularly clever are you?" chided Vincent as the brute tried to wrench his fists from his grasps "Haven't you been noticing anything? Look at your tats big guy."

 

Vlad looked at his arms and slowly descended into a state of bewilderment as he watched the energy within the seals on his body ebb "What are you doing to me!?"

 

A dark aura formed around Vincent as Vlad's massive body began to shrink and whither "Makhai Seals are like vents taking in and releasing energy in order to enhance oneself. Problem is, it makes infinitely easier to siphon off that energy especially against a master of Stygian magick." he smiled as he heard Vlad's desperate grunts of mercy and relinquished his grip on the now emaciated man.

 

The Stygian Fiend

2313.gif     Mythic Physiology: Superior (rank 2)

 

Flamel stood chanting ancient Egyptian incantations in front of a large lavender door decorated with numerous black markings and hieroglyphs. Desperate drops of sweat streaked down the worn face of the wizened mystic as he recited spell after spell seemingly to no effect.

 

"You know Flamel, some people would say you are quite cunning after what you did today." commented Vincent as he stepped into the corridor where Flamel stood "Using those novices to buy time while you obtained the seal was cowardly if you ask me. "

 

"As if you wouldn't do the same Stygian." snarled Flamel as the door swung open. He turned to Vincent with a deadly smirk and waved his hands as he muttered an incantation in ancient Sumerian. Out of the floor erupted a large black scaled claw which was followed by a large draconic head and eventually the rest of the creatures large scaled body "Have fun." chuckled Flamel as he walked into room and closed the door behind him.

 

"The bastard messed up my floor." mumbled Vincent amidst the guttural roars of the beast that focused it's serpentine eyes upon Vincent with primal ferocity. With a slight smirk on his face Vincent's body slowly transformed into a creature made out of black smoke and cimmerian bolts of energy that began to singe the air around him.

 

In a sudden burst of savagery the creature darted towards Vincent gnashing it's acid stained teeth at him as Vincent floated into the air and landed on his back "Now where is the weak spot on this thing?"

 

In a fit of rage the dragon flailed around it's poison tipped tail at Vincent which only resulted in Vincent phasing through his attacks or deflecting them with bursts of energy. As Vincent searched the beasts body for a weak point his foot sank into a supple area of scale-less flesh "There you go." he chimed as the rank smell of singeing flesh crawled into his nostrils"

 

I Am The Stygian

2309.gif     Chi Manipulation: Supreme (rank 3)

  • Ranged Attack
  • Long Ranged Attack
  • Area Affect
  • Super Area of Effect
  • Multi-Attack
  • Target Seeker

 

The smell of burning flesh was soon followed by the frenzied cry of the beast as it began to thrash about the building sending tiles as dust into the air that mingled with ambient mystical energy that bounced around the hallway "Dammit, I just remodeled the building! I swear Flamel is going to pay for this." grumbled Vincent as he balanced himself on the creatures back and plunged his hand into it's soft spot sending gushes of indigo blood and charred flesh into the air.

 

As sapphire blood gushed out of the creature his movements became more sluggish and labored until it finally collapsed and breathed it's last trembling breath. Vincent reverted to his human form as he triumphantly walked towards the door being careful not to step in any puddles of blood "I swear if any of this stuff ends up on my suit I'm going to be pissed." The door opened of it's own volition before the presence of the master of the building revealing an unnaturally large room seemingly made of immaculate white light.

 

Vincent entered the vast room the sound of his footsteps bouncing off non-existing walls as he scanned the vastness for Flamel. He needn't search long for the coarse whisper of his foe's voice soon called out to him.

 

"What is this place Stygian?" Flamel was visibly furious as his age ravaged face twisted with each word.

 

"A pocket dimension that I use for a myriad of reasons, unfortunately the storing of objects isn't one of them." the glowing whiteness of the room withered away from Vincent amidst the nebulous aura that had started to form around him "It's a shame, you are possibly one of the greatest Stygian mystics alive, your death would be a tragic blow to the dark arts..........oh well." with a slight gesture of his hand bolts of energy ripped through the radiance of the room and would have struck Flamel if not for a swift wave of his hand that deflected the attack into the air.

 

Flamel hissed incantations which summoned a immense cloud of darkness that condensed into the form of a horned cyclops that towered over both men. With a echoing roar the giant charged at with unrelenting speed sending tremors through the area.

 

Unfazed by the colossal monster Vincent mad a sign with his hands and from them sprang a huge serpent of energy that wrapped itself around the cyclops and tightening it's grip until the giant exploded in a blast of shadowy energy. With out wasting a moment Vincent stretched out his hand and began manipulating the energy into chains that wrapped themselves around Flamel. As the last chain fell into place the serpent of energy slid over to the old man hissed sending drops of acidic venom unto his face.

 

"You know, after so many years one would think you of all people would understand how things worked." sighed Vincent as he began to turn towards the still opened door "There are countless Magi in the Omniverse and while we may differ on a myriad of things from morals to species there is one common aspect to us all. We never chose to become Magi; we were born to become Magi." with that said Vincent began to walk out of the room with silent pride.

 

"These chains won't hold me!" barked Flamel as acid fell upon his body.

 

"I know. Thing is, the door only opens from the outside." Vincent replied as he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. He began to slowly walk down the dismantled corridor when the old janitor appeared "You know Tiffy, if you're going to walk around like that you should play the part and get this cleaned up."

 

The janitor chuckled as he transformed into the elegant form of Tiffany "As soon as you look through these papers sir." she replied as she followed behind Vincent.

 

"Now!? But I'm tired!"



#2 treacherous

treacherous

    Good...Bad...I'm the guy with the Hammer

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Posted 28 June 2013 - 11:22 AM

I like you new crop of guys.  Lot's of new energy and ideas.  I feel good about where you guys are taking FPL.  Stick around.  Do well.  Take over one day.



#3 Pseudonym

Pseudonym

    Aqualad

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Posted 28 June 2013 - 03:00 PM

I liked this character a lot. He was really strongly written and actually really thematically similar to the character I was gonna write for Styx's crew. There are some slight punctuation problems. I would be sure to give this one a proofread before you submit it anywhere.

 

I think there's a missed opportunity in Mythic Physiology to explain that because he's the Magi of the Void he can become Nothingness which is what his Phasing power is. I don't know, that's what my interpretation was I thought it was cool.

 

You gotta watch out for your dialogue falling into patterns. "[Words]" said [Character] as [Actions that character takes]. Once you noticed the pattern it'll stick out and bother you too. Try to vary it up. Watch how often you're  using the word 'as' in general. It's showing up a lot.

 

My biggest problem is that Vincent Coal throws off this huge apathetic personality throughout his entire sheet. We see a lot of the things he doesn't care about. He doesn't care about danger or fighting or these guys who've come to take his magi title. But I don't think we see enough of what he does care about. I want to see in some fics down the road a little more deeply what Vincent Coal likes and what he cares about.

 

All in all, he's a very strong character and he'lll do well on the killfloor.






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