Out in the unknown depths of space...
"Ack Ack Ack Ack!"
One thing was for certain, the Martian Leader was in a rage. Turning to his subordinate, the Leader backhanded his Ambassador. Stumbling back a few feet, almost falling over his own red cloak, the Ambassador clumsily righted himself but did not reply in kind to the Leader, knowing that it would only make things worse.
The Leader seethed for a few moments, before promptly turning on his heel and moved away from the scene, his purple cloak swooshing behind him. "Ack ack ack!" He ordered as he walked away.
The Ambassador nodded slightly before turning towards the other Martians. "Ack ack ack ack, ack ack!" He shouted, pointing at them.
They moved instantly, readying themselves for what lay ahead, the ships all abuzz with activity both internal and external.
Several hours earlier in Crescent Cove, California.
It had started out as quite a serene night, much of the teenage population hanging out on their favored hill, kids in their backyards and fast food play areas doing all sorts of things, parents watching them or the TV, depending...then one farmer by the outskirts of town saw a magnificent sight. Figuring it for Haley's Comet, he figured he'd get a closer look and headed for where he surmised it landed.
He was never seen or heard from again.
Hours later, things were running amok. The police stations were being swamped with dozens of calls, about murders, disappearances, strange occurrences...one violent misanthropic cop judging the whole thing to be a hoax the whole town was in on. Luckily his superior was more level headed, going about to various parts of town, trying to figure out what was going on.
He was able to find bits and pieces, but it still didn't make any sense to him. Radioing the other officer turned out fruitless as well...no one answered.
What the hell is going on?! He thought, as he swerved his car into a u-turn, heading full speed back to the station.
Once there, he sprinted inside, calling for the other. Passing by the interrogation room at a dead run, he caught sight of something and tried to slow down...instead slipping and falling onto the floor with a grunt. Quickly jumping up, he slowly walked in the room. His eyes widened, jaw gaping. "Sergeant?" He asked, confused. "Jesus Christ." He said backpedaling out and running a hand through his hair. As he stared at the sight, it too stared at him, those vacant eye sockets...
That's when he heard it.
Jumping in shock, he had little time to do anything else but scream as he was shot at. The strange thing was...it didn't hurt. It still killed him though.
Then the assailant was gone, leaving the station nearly vacant, except for 2 skeletons...one a shiny red, the other a deep green.
Not long after, another being not of this Earth entered the station. Ducking under the small doorway, he came across the aftermath. Tilting his head curiously, his expression soon turned to one of anger.
Turning around, the Klown left.
This was not funny.
It was bad enough before, now it was just...chaos. It was all out war. Klowns were duking it out on the streets with the smaller but better equipped Martians. Acid Pies flew one way, melting Martians like chocolate. Rays of red and green hues responded in kind, disintegrating Klowns to their very core while the remaining few humans ran and hid.
Shadows swallowed up Martians, a giant Klown was doing battle with an equally giant robot piloted by a Martian.
"God what is this?! Some crappy 50's movie? I BLAME YOU WRITER!" One teenager shouted before being crushed underfoot by the robot.
But it was a losing battle. The Klowns's greater numbers gave them the advantage over the small contingent of Martians.
The giant Klown gave a whoop of joy, arms raised in victory, foot resting atop the chest of the fallen Martian robot.
The Klowns had the last laugh.
Or so they had thought. They may have won the battle...but they just brought on a war. The Martian Leader and Ambassador brought their A-game.
It wasn't long before the Martians were all over the Klowns. Realizing this was no laughing matter, the Klowns sent out their own call for reinforcements. Falling like comets, the ships of the Klowns entered the fray, turning the tide somewhat.
The war was spreading.
Hollywood. Manhattan. Miami. Rio De Janero. Buenos Aires. Cancun. London. Paris. Berlin. Dubai. Sydney. Moscow. Tokyo. The world...was at war. Humans. Klowns. Martians.
Humans, while trying their best, ultimately never were more than a footnote.
This time, the Martians's had the numbers advantage. Slowly but surely, they gained the upper hand. One of the Klowns' more devastating losses was at the Battle of Easter Island. That was their staging area. The Martians found it almost by accident. They had intended on using the Easter Island Heads as makeshift bowling pins, trying to have some down time in between the battles of the war. Instead, they had found a large number of Klowns and their ships. Coming in for a closer look, they realized the Klowns were feasting on their fellow Martians, covered and distorted by their technology.
"Ack ack ack!" The Martian Commander shouted, slamming his fists onto a table. "ACK!"
The rest complied, deploying for an immediate attack on the Klowns. Every single Martian on the 5 ships were armed and sent down. Caught off guard, it was a massacre. Klowns were vaporized left and right. By the time they began to counterattack to some degree, 75% of them were dead.
The rest didn't last long. The Martians had suffered...13 casualties. They cheered, before the commander popped their flag atop on of the dead Klowns. Making their circular salute, the Martians headed back into their ships, whereupon they destroyed the Klowns's spacecrafts from above.
After that loss and others...the Klowns found themselves left with one ship. The one they had originally come in on. Rudy, Jumbo, Fatso, Bibbo, Shorty and Slim conferred with their leader. They all agreed. Now was the time to try and appeal for a more, fair battle.
Their leader, JoJo the Klownzilla agreed. They needed to send a message.
With Slim and Fatso holding the camera, JoJo made his way on screen. Waving a white flag, he made a request to meet up in the ruins of Washington DC.
Receiving the message, the Martian Ambassador took it and showed it to his leader. Reading through it quickly...
...he responded in a typical manner. He broke out into malicious laughter. However, they agreed to indulge the request, as they felt it would be their last.
"Ack ack ack ack, ack ack ack."
JoJo. Jumbo. Bibbo. Fatso. Slim. Shorty. Rudy. Gathered together, shoulder to shoulder, with their giant leader in front, the Klowns looked impassively across the field.
There, they saw their opponents gather. The Martian Leader, in another one of his giant robot suits, up front.
The Martian Ambassador and 5 of his personal guard right behind him.
Each group calmly took steps towards each other, until they were nearly face to face. Moving to shake hands, the Martians and the Klowns split up into pairs, each heading for the pre-established tables.
JoJo the Clownzilla and the Martian Leader headed for a specially constructed table to accommodate their size. The Martian Ambassador and Jumbo headed to Table 1. The rest of the Klowns and Martians did likewise to other tables.
Everyone picked up the weapons of choice that lay on their sides of the table. A few readied themselves by practicing swinging it. Others just grabbed the projectile, feeling it's weight. The Martian Leader was lost in his thoughts. He knew that even if they lost this, the Klowns would be dealt with, as several dozen ships and hundreds of Martian troops were hidden nearby,
Likewise JoJo was having similar thoughts. He was prepared to sacrifice his own Klown crew and ship, having it explode with the force to wipe out the entire city, if only to wipe the smirks off those puny Martians. If it came to that, he hoped to live long enough to see the looks on their faces.
As the sun passed by over head, the nearby Martian acting as official commentator watched from a nearby hill as the battle began.
"Ack ack ack ack ack ack, ack ack. Ack ack." He reported.
Turning to the translator device he had stolen from the dead hands of that Earthling, he slapped it to make it work. It complied.
"Welcome to the very first and last inter-species ping-pong tournament! The winner gets the ultimate prize, the loser...doesn't!"