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Match 13701 John McClane vs. Han Solo

star wars die hard john mcclane han solo chewbacca new york parking garage

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#1 skull8686



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Posted 23 March 2013 - 12:08 AM

"I think we should go to that restaurant at the end of the universe, what do you think Chewie?"
"Oh, Chewie.... To be honest with you, I've never understood a word you've ever said."
At this very moment, even though Han Solo wasn't aware, his long time friend, Chewbaca, was thinking the exact same thing. Han and Chewie were leaving a planet where they had recently become rather rich, collecting a bounty that had been on the head of a well known thief that stole from politicians from around the galaxy. Han saw a star and got The Millennium Falcon as close to it as he could while soaring past it.
"Oh Chewie there's a saying about flying too close to the sun, but I can't remember what it was..."
Just then the star began to implode and Han Solo realized the slight irony of the situation. The imploding star began to swallow The Millennium Falcon as Han Solo and Chewie fought to propel the oddly shaped ship away from impending doom. The battle was futile for them, and as Han began to realize this he and Chewbaca ran to the rear of the ship where there was a secret escape pod, that with the correct firepower, could probably escape the massive blackhole. Han was beginning to wish his partner in crime wasn't so massive due to the fact that only one of them could fit into the pod. The ship suddenly shifted and Chewbaca fell into the pod, the doors shutting behind him. Han put his hands against the glass as he stared on at Chewie, while Chewie incessantly screamed more nonsense that Han couldn't understand. A metal barrier slid down between Chewbacca and Han Solo and Han was left alone with the sound of the pod escaping the hopeless ship. Han was then thrust against the wall, and immediately blacked out.

A long time later, in a galaxy far away, John McClane was enjoying life. He had just left California where he had overthrown a group of terrorists led by a man named Hans Gruber. He was grabbing his stuff from his apartment so that he could move down to California and rekindle his marriage with his wife. Everything was looking up for him, and in the same way that irony had struck Han-Solo, it was about to strike John McClane. For as he was looking up, testing out some new sunglasses, the sun was blocked by a rather large object. It came flying over buildings, heading straight for central park.
"What the f#@$ is that?"
John started sprinting towards central park, everyone running in the opposite direction. He reached the outer wreckage, full of fire and ship debris. In the distance he saw a man in a white shirt with a black vest on, heading towards the city.
"Hey! Stop! Come back!"

Han ran quickly towards the buildings in front of him, a man shouting at him, but Han could trust nobody here, all that he could remember was Chewbacas departure and waking up with enough time to slow The Millennium Falcon and make for a landing safe enough to survive and escape. He was rather surprised that he wasn't injured. Han ran into a dark building with many vehicles that he couldn't identify parked within it. He slumped down behind one and caught his breath. He heard footsteps behind him.

"What are you doing John?" John said to himself as he clutched his chest, trying to catch his breath. The man on the other side of the parking garage came out from behind a car.
"Hey s#!& head! Were you in that giant hunk of metal that landed in The Park? Are you crazy!? There were people in that park."
"I didn't mean to kill anyone, and for that I'm sorry. I just need to get out of here and get back to Chewbaca. Do you know if there's anyone around here who can help repair my ship?"
"Ship? Like a spaceship? I don't know what that was, but you don't expect me to believe in aliens and $#!@ do you? I'm taking you down to the station now."
"I'm not going anywhere with you!"
Han held his hand steady over his gun, and John whispered to himself under his breath.
"Yippee Ki Yay Mother !#%^&@"

Things to remember: Han Solo has a laser gun and John McClanes pistol both essentially will kill the other one of they're shot by it. John McClane knows how to drive a car, however it would take time to hot-wire one, and if there is a key left in one a curious adventurer like Han-Solo may not find it too hard to figure out how to operate one. For the sake of argument they are both fighting alone and limited to the parking garage. And just to be clear, it's a fight to the death.

#2 Callisto



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Posted 23 March 2013 - 12:08 AM

Learn More About
John McClane
Read more about John McClane at Wikipedia
Official Site: 20th Century Fox Links: Wikipedia Site IMDB Link Official Site

Han Solo
Read more about Han Solo at Wikipedia
Official Site: Lucasfilm Links: Han Solo Wiki Star Wars Wiki-Han Solo Star Wars Databank-Han Solo

#3 Xenerack5


    I like it on Omicron Ceti III, Jim

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Posted 23 March 2013 - 09:59 AM

Welcome to the CBUB skull. Nice set up in my non Judge opinion but I think Mclane wins here.
He is a better gunfighter than Han and old fashioned guns have the advantage over laser guns in that bullets are faster than lasers. (Fictional lasers anyway.) I'd like to see Han try to dodge a bullet from 3 feet away.
Also bullets don't give away your cover.



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Posted 23 March 2013 - 10:20 AM

Han is great but in the scenario McClane has the advantage. Being new this was a really good first showing. Nice job.

#5 Jason Redfield

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Posted 23 March 2013 - 11:52 AM

So, to be clear, what did you mean with this sentence in the setup: "Han Solo has a laser gun and John McClanes pistol both essentially will kill the other one of they're shot by it."

The reason I ask is that you're taking away one of Han's big advantages here: terminal performance, i.e., "stopping power".

People can take multiple 9x19mm rounds (and most pistol rounds, really), even JHPs, to the torso and keep fighting, potentially for several minutes. Is there a chance for a one-shot stop? Sure, but it's remote and would have to be put in just the right spot. Conversely, anyone taking just one solid hit from Han's DL-44 will get wrecked. McLane's only going to survive the most glancing of shots; anything remotely resembling a direct hit's probably going to put him out of the game.

I'm not sure how the barrier penetration matches up between the DL-44 and McLane's Beretta, but I'm leaning toward Han having an advantage here. I do know that 9mms, especially hollow-points, won't be punching clean through car bodies and concrete inside a parking garage. Although heavy blasters are known for being able to penetrate personal shields and armor with relative ease (the latter is presumably made from much tougher material than the aluminum on a car), we rarely see blaster bolts "punch through" cover, instead they simply seem to destroy it. You can see them blowing up large sections of stone at Tatooine, for instance, when the Millennium Falcon is escaping. So even if Han can't shoot through whatever McLane is hiding behind, he may simply be able to blow it apart. I don't know about you, but I'd be hesitant to hide behind a car with a potentially full tank of gas when someone's firing a directed energy weapon my way. Shrapnel could be a concern simply from near misses.

Then there's accuracy to consider. McLane's a great marksman and in my opinion, he's got superior on-screen feats to Solo. Typically blasters are inherently less accurate than a slugthrower (I remember reading that... somewhere), but this doesn't seem to be the case with the DL-44. At least, not enough to make a huge difference. It's effective range is listed at 50 meters, which is right in line with the effective range of the Beretta. However, Han's got the benefit of a motion sensing scope on the blaster. That may or may not give him an advantage over McLane's iron sights here.

The smuggler's also got an advantage in ammunition capacity. The DL-44's power pack has enough gas to supply energy for 50 shots. By the time Han has to reload once, John would have had to have reloaded three times. I'm not sure how reload time matches up, though. Reloading a semiautomatic's pretty straightforward and McLane's damn good at doing it on the fly. I honestly don't know how exchanging blaster power packs matches up. The source I'm reading remarks that most can be reloaded in under ten seconds, implying that that's a standard. Going by that, it may be slightly slower than John's pistol. But I'm just spit-balling here.

However, McLane's advantage comes in the fact that (as has already been mentioned), his bullets move faster than Han's bolts. They're also invisible to the naked eye.

So, McLane's got better marksmanship, faster & less visible projectiles, a possibly quicker reload time, and familiarity with the environment. I'd also make an argument for him being able to improvise on the fly a lot more effectively than Han. The dude's a wizard in that regard.

Han's got more stopping power, better ability to destroy cover, a motion-sensing scope, and a higher ammunition capacity.

How does this end? Hell if I know. I just really wanted to do this analysis.

#6 Jason Voorhees fan

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Posted 23 March 2013 - 02:20 PM

Yippie Ki ay mother jabba.

#7 potterpuppetpals


    Why? No one's gonna see them.

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Posted 24 March 2013 - 01:09 PM

Damn good set-up for a n00b. I see the only other post you've made was back in October 2011. How long have you been here exactly?

#8 bigballerju


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Posted 24 March 2013 - 01:48 PM

Okay setup for a new guy. Hard choice here as either could take it. I may go with Han Solo since his blaster may be able to easily go through a car or blow one up killing John after a few blasts to the car to him.

#9 skull8686



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Posted 25 March 2013 - 04:06 AM

Damn good set-up for a n00b. I see the only other post you've made was back in October 2011. How long have you been here exactly?


I've actually been on for a few years now, I wanna say 5 or 6, I just forgot about the site until the other day.

#10 DSkillz


    'Member me?

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 11:11 PM

Pretty good set-up, skull. Just watch for punctuation and spacing more carefully next time. 


As for the match, from what I remember about the Star Wars and Die Hard films, McClane just seems a bit more clever in battle than Solo. Given that and the fact that John's on his home turf, I'm inclined to think he'd win this. 

#11 Callisto



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Posted 28 March 2013 - 12:15 AM

Match Final Results
xLEGACYx gives it a grade of: B Only real advice I can give is work on your spacing cause it kinda is all over the place. As far as the actual story, its good.
DSkillz gives it a grade of: B Good set-up (not sure if it's your first; you did mention you've known about EF for some time). Just watch your punctuation and line spacing next time.
bigballerju gives it a grade of: C Okay setup for a new guy. Welcome to CBUB.
corvette1710 gives it a grade of: C It wasn't fantastic, you have good length (no homo) but grammar and spelling could use some work.
John McClane: 15
Han Solo: 17
FPA: 2.5

Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: star wars, die hard, john mcclane, han solo, chewbacca, new york, parking garage

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