Jump to content


Photo

Real Life superhero hangs it up after butt-kicking


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 FoxFingers

FoxFingers

    webmaster

  • Electric Ferret
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,491 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 17 March 2013 - 12:28 PM

The Story:

http://www.telegraph...s-attacked.html


The reality:

Remember kids... if you are gonna go fight crime you are gonna need a weapon. Ensure that you are carrying something like the following:

- A billy club with a swing line
- An enchanted hammer
- Adamantium claws
- Web Shooters
- Batarangs
- A Walther PPK

See, if you don't have powers you're gonna have to bring something to the table besides your Lycra costume.


Posted Image

#2 Hayesmeister5651

Hayesmeister5651

    That guy with poo brains

  • CBUB Match Judges
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,047 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Batcave
  • Interests:Things

Posted 17 March 2013 - 12:38 PM

This guy is awesome for even attempting to be a comic book hero.

If my memory isn't off, in the 70's there was a team of gay guys going around beating up homophobes in California. They were like queer eye for the straight guy meets the black panthers. I forget their name though. There have been a few others I heard of, people making their neighborhood watch into vigilantes.

#3 KidStranglehold

KidStranglehold

    Believes Han shot first

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,855 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:This information is top secret
  • Interests:Writing,Video games,Sports,women.

Posted 17 March 2013 - 12:50 PM

Why didn't he learn martial arts?

#4 Nova Force Nova

Nova Force Nova

    Deadpan Snarker

  • CBUB Character Admin
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 14,957 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:A couch near you.
  • Interests:Interesting stuff.

Posted 17 March 2013 - 12:54 PM

- A billy club with a swing line
- An enchanted hammer
- Adamantium claws
- Web Shooters
- Batarangs
- A Walther PPK




I can figure these out.

Daredevil
Thor/Beta Ray Bill
Wolverine/X-23
Spider Man/Scarlet Spider/Spider Woman/Spider Girl
Batman/Nightwing/Robin
Punisher/Bucky Barnes/Nick Fury etc




#5 corvette1710

corvette1710

    The Bastard Child of Sarcasm and Hypocrisy

  • CBUB Match Judges
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,202 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Mansion, Pluto
  • Interests:Stuff. Durr.

Posted 17 March 2013 - 01:52 PM

Actually I think the Walther PPK was a reference to James Bond.

#6 potterpuppetpals

potterpuppetpals

    Why? No one's gonna see them.

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,232 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Norwich
  • Interests:Crossovers, tortoises, videogames, Happy Wheels, other random stuff.

Posted 17 March 2013 - 02:17 PM

Nope. All he needs is to place some gargoyles around the town, and use a batclaw to get away from hostile situations.

#7 Sincere Poet

Sincere Poet

    Cannon Fodder

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 138 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 17 March 2013 - 07:32 PM

I really hope he wasn't surprised that he got beat up

#8 Skirmisher

Skirmisher

    Field Marshal

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,026 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Elysium City, Eridanus II
  • Interests:The Halo Universe, Warhammer Fantasy and 40K, Deconstructing the Hype of Star Wars, Still Like Star Wars though...

Posted 18 March 2013 - 12:44 PM

This is why you wear body armour and carry something more then your fists on patrol...

I mean, really, thickly padded leather or dennim can soften blows from fists and other blunt weapons, sew in some metal plates to make it a Jack and you can even turn a blade.

You don't have to carry Adamantium Returno Billyhammers, but something simple like even a Single wooden Tonfa would be enough to turn or discourage a fight.


Frankly, I've thought about dressing up and superheroing about, but while I have the smarts to do it well, and the drive to better my physical conditioning to meet the streets, I don't have the social grace to do the charity work... So, in a sense, I'd be more like the Punisher or Batman, then any others...

#9 force_echo

force_echo

    Pretentious, Obnoxious, Annoying...humanity's last hope

  • CBUB Match Judges
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 8,750 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Charlotte, NC
  • Interests:Anything Interesting

Posted 18 March 2013 - 12:51 PM

Yeah, and then you get shot. Leave policing to police officers.

#10 Skirmisher

Skirmisher

    Field Marshal

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,026 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Elysium City, Eridanus II
  • Interests:The Halo Universe, Warhammer Fantasy and 40K, Deconstructing the Hype of Star Wars, Still Like Star Wars though...

Posted 18 March 2013 - 01:15 PM

Yeah, and then you get shot. Leave policing to police officers.

Says the American.


Posted Image

#11 force_echo

force_echo

    Pretentious, Obnoxious, Annoying...humanity's last hope

  • CBUB Match Judges
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 8,750 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Charlotte, NC
  • Interests:Anything Interesting

Posted 18 March 2013 - 04:44 PM

Sure, I'll trust a macro on 9gag. It's not proven. Yeah, there are some accounts that said that happened, and there are others that said something completely different happened. But sure, let's generalize America's police force from two transit officers in New York, that makes complete and perfect logical sense. It's not like something like this happens in any other country in the world besides the US.

#12 xLEGACYx

xLEGACYx

    King of Kings

  • CBUB Match Judges
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,250 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Guarding Arkham Asylum
  • Interests:manipulating the minds of inmates

Posted 18 March 2013 - 07:10 PM

I fight h2h with criminals almost once a week. Granted they are unarmed too. Makes it a little easier.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users