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Wrath of the Pixies- Catatonia Excerpt

Wrath of the pixies short story catatonia

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#1 Darkender

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Posted 19 February 2013 - 02:15 PM

Wrath of the Pixies

Catatonia Excerpt


The Alphas were already on the scene and it was rare that they ever called in for back up. So when I got the call, I moved without delay, leaping across the cityscape to the disturbance. The streets were already cleared. The red diodes floated about as a warning for all who saw. Then the roar pierced through the sound of the burning, followed by a solid crash. I leapt over another street and set my eyes on the disturbance. It stood a story high, swatting at a silver flash that zipped around its head.

I leaped at the creature, its attention solely on Steel Will, and plunged my fist into his scaled skin. The flesh cringed under my metal fist. I pounded harder and harder, before the creatures large clawed hands came down on me.

Almost immediately I could feel my strength wane. My muscles strained as I pushed against the beast’s claws, but I could feel my arms losing their definition. The claws closed on me and I could feel myself flying through the air until I finally crashed into a storefront. My metallic skin fell briefly as I gasped for a sustaining breath. I focused to return it.

As I looked up, I could see Will now in the creature’s clutches. He was too being drained, and this wasn’t the first time he had fell into the monsters claws. I pushed myself to rise and I leaped toward the creature once more. He swiped at me but acrobatically I avoided the strike and landed upon the creatures face, placing both feet into its eye. It stumbled back as I landed on the ground and, after only regaining my balance, once again did I leap to strike at his knees. The creature, however, recovered quickly, reeling back from my previous attack and clapped both of its claws upon me. I thrashed against his palms, but my energy was leaving even quicker than before. He threw me into the air and I flailed helpless before he swatted me like a fly through the air.

I could hear my name being screamed as I crashed into pavement. My eyes flickered as a few flashes went through the sky above.

#2 deojusto

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 07:35 PM

I don't want to bury this before making a comment. It was pretty well written in terms of mechanics, but it's just sort of coming off as an action scene, not a short story. Still though, fics are good for the site so keep 'em up.

#3 Darkender

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 09:04 PM

The story was already in the original fic, and I kinda wrote this out of no where. I do wish I had added something about what she was doing before she got there now that I think about it.

#4 Pseudonym

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:39 AM

Question is: What does she do afterwards? You and me could work on the Hospital Scene. Her and Steel Will talking about what happened.

#5 Darkender

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Posted 23 February 2013 - 09:29 PM

I suppose... Caitlin isn't very chatty however.

#6 Pseudonym

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Posted 24 February 2013 - 10:48 AM

Write what you feel. S'your characters.

#7 Darkender

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Posted 25 February 2013 - 12:24 AM

Hmm I may add it on.





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