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Match 13202 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen vs. Professor Moriarty

Gentlemen Holmes Zorro Moriarty

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#21 Dinsdale Piranha

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 02:42 PM

I don't know anything about these Knights of Aragon. Can you provide a link?

#22 DSkillz

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 03:13 AM

I'm not familiar with any version of Moriarty or Armand that's being used here (or the Knights in their army, for that matter), but this is still a good set-up Dark SM. Good additions of Holmes, Watson, and Zorro to the League. Just watch the switching up of tense throughout your matches, though.

#23 Dark Spider-man

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 01:36 PM

I don't know anything about these Knights of Aragon. Can you provide a link?


http://en.wikipedia....Legend_of_Zorro

It explains the Knights. :)

#24 Dark Spider-man

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 01:48 PM

I'm not familiar with any version of Moriarty or Armand that's being used here (or the Knights in their army, for that matter), but this is still a good set-up Dark SM. Good additions of Holmes, Watson, and Zorro to the League. Just watch the switching up of tense throughout your matches, though.


Moriarty from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen went by Professor M or just "M". He plot in the movie was to get the powers of the League to rule the world. He was successful in copying the Leagues powers because Dorian Gray betrayed the League and got samples of their DNA. Moriarty was gunned down by Tom Sawyer at the end of the movie.

Moriarty from Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, is an older Moriarty. His plot was to make war basically have a lot of chaos. He buys, sells, and makes weapons. So, Sherlock had to stop him at the end of the movie, which he did. Sherlock and Moriarty fell but only Sherlock survived.

So, what I did in this story was have "M" (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) be the younger version of Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. I made them the same Moriarty.

Armand I used his version from the sequal to Mask of Zorro, The Legend of Zorro. His plot in the movie was to destroy the U.S so that they won't take California. Zorro had to stop him. As for the Knights of Aragon they have an army just a small army in the film. So, what I did was Armand (with Moriarty's help) got more people to get in the Knights of Aragon, bigger and stronger army.

That's basically that what I did.

"Swtiching up of tense" I don't understand. If you can explain what I did wrong and I can improve on it.

#25 Callisto

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 03:15 PM

Match Final Results
USER RATINGS
A
B Good set-up, but the tense switch-ups are weird, and the story is slightly uneven.
B
A
A
A
SCORE
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: 20
Professor Moriarty: 2
FPA: 3.7


#26 DSkillz

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:08 PM

Moriarty from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen went by Professor M or just "M". He plot in the movie was to get the powers of the League to rule the world. He was successful in copying the Leagues powers because Dorian Gray betrayed the League and got samples of their DNA. Moriarty was gunned down by Tom Sawyer at the end of the movie.

Moriarty from Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, is an older Moriarty. His plot was to make war basically have a lot of chaos. He buys, sells, and makes weapons. So, Sherlock had to stop him at the end of the movie, which he did. Sherlock and Moriarty fell but only Sherlock survived.

So, what I did in this story was have "M" (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) be the younger version of Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. I made them the same Moriarty.

Armand I used his version from the sequal to Mask of Zorro, The Legend of Zorro. His plot in the movie was to destroy the U.S so that they won't take California. Zorro had to stop him. As for the Knights of Aragon they have an army just a small army in the film. So, what I did was Armand (with Moriarty's help) got more people to get in the Knights of Aragon, bigger and stronger army.

That's basically that what I did.


Now see, I haven't read the LoEG comics or seen the Banderas Zorro films or the new Sherlock Holmes films with RDJ, so I was a bit at a loss to say who would win here. Sorry about that.

I really liked the concept of the matchup, though. :)

"Swtiching up of tense" I don't understand. If you can explain what I did wrong and I can improve on it.


I'll just point out an example:

"It has been years after since they defeated Moriarty. He fakes his death and nearly was successful again if a certain Englishman wasn’t there to stop him with his doctor. Quatermain still pondered the events of Professor M."

A story is typically told from either a present tense or past tense perspective. Because you used the words such as the ones I bolded where you used them, the tense of the story switched back and forth throughout the story. It's better form to really use strictly past tense words (i.e., was, started, ran, etc.) to tell a story from a past tense perspective and use strictly present tense words (i.e., is, starts, runs, etc.) to tell it from a present tense perspective. One exception for present tense is when talking about an event that happened before the main story, in which you should switch back to past tense for that back story only.

#27 Dinsdale Piranha

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Posted 03 January 2013 - 04:55 PM

And past tense is almost universally preferred. Some writers will go for present tense stories but it's hard to do well.

#28 Dark Spider-man

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:51 AM

Now see, I haven't read the LoEG comics or seen the Banderas Zorro films or the new Sherlock Holmes films with RDJ, so I was a bit at a loss to say who would win here. Sorry about that.

I really liked the concept of the matchup, though. data:image/png;base64,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



I'll just point out an example:

"It has been years after since they defeated Moriarty. He fakes his death and nearly was successful again if a certain Englishman wasn’t there to stop him with his doctor. Quatermain still pondered the events of Professor M."

A story is typically told from either a present tense or past tense perspective. Because you used the words such as the ones I bolded where you used them, the tense of the story switched back and forth throughout the story. It's better form to really use strictly past tense words (i.e., was, started, ran, etc.) to tell a story from a past tense perspective and use strictly present tense words (i.e., is, starts, runs, etc.) to tell it from a present tense perspective. One exception for present tense is when talking about an event that happened before the main story, in which you should switch back to past tense for that back story only.


"Ah, I understand thanks! And glad you liked it. I'm going to be working on my next chapter to this and try not to make the mistakes I did in this fight. :)





Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Gentlemen, Holmes, Zorro, Moriarty

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