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Match 13154 Yorick Brown vs. Barb Wire

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#1 patrickthekid


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Posted 21 December 2012 - 12:31 PM

"What in the gods are you wearing?"

Legendary CBUB commentators Callisto and Harley Quinn were once again assigned positions to what may be among the last matches in... well the real world reality. It's a toss up for whether other worlds may follow, so it was to be expected that some residents were preparing for the end. Some more than others, as Harley Quinn looked liked she was ready to have war with Hell itself. She had full body armor along with an armored jester hat, armed with two mallots, multible pistols and a rubber chicken.

"Well duh, Cally. Haven't ya heard. It's the end of the world. Puddin' and I got ready just for the occasions."

"And is that... tissue paper?"

"We went out and teabagged Batman's cave. Nothing special."

At that moment an explosion could be heard many miles away. A disgruntled Batman left his seat to check on the commotion.

"That and 4000 pounds of TNT wouldn't hurt nobody, hmmm."

"Now that you mention it.... do you have enough for Xena's house?"

"Aaaand we're live!" The cameraman delivered the signal, forcing both girls to act professional as well.

"Greetings to another broadcast from CBUB Fights. This is Callisto, and that over there is our wingnut clown girl Haley Quinn."

"Says the one who did nothing with the potential end of the world."

"For gods sake. It's not going to end! All the gods have stated so!"

"And I did they predict the end of their world?"

The blond resisted the urge to strangle her, only to turn and face the cameras once more. "Today, we are starting our shameless self-promotion of the possible end. A living testimony to the end may face his doom right now."

"Yup. Pitty this hunk turned out to be the last man in his world, but now he will be in the fight of his life against one of our best bounty hunter."

"Both contestants have to survive our maze, designed with death traps galore. Don't you worry, though. Both contestants have their standard weapons. All Yorick has to do is escape, while Barb Wire has to go in for the kill."

"And both of em have ta look out for our traps. You know, death pits, falling swords. Da usual."

"Our audience appears to be stoked for this matchup, ladies and... is that Deadpool?"

Indeed, the merc with a mouth jumped right into the fray. But he wasn't alone.

"For the commemotation of the death of all existance we have decided to perform one last act," Bugs Bunny declared. "A yo mamma battle for the ages!"

"One of us is guarenteed to be a swivelling mess by the time we're done with each other peeps," Deadpool replied. "But his mamma wouldn't tell the difference anyways."

"You know this means wars mamma boy."

"See Cally. Just what I planned for." With a grin, she made her way out of the God-proof room. Callisto on the oner hand just placed her hand on her cheek with an elbow on the table.

"Ugh, before we get killed by awful jokes, let's just switch over to the comments page."

#2 Callisto



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Posted 21 December 2012 - 12:31 PM

Learn More About
Yorick Brown
Read more about Yorick Brown at Wikipedia
Official Site: Vertigo Comics Links: Wikipedia DC Comics Wiki Comicvine

Barb Wire
Read more about Barb Wire at Wikipedia
Official Site: Dark Horse Comics Links: Wikipedia Toonpedia Comicvine

#3 DSkillz


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Posted 26 December 2012 - 03:11 AM

Heh, good set-up, pat. After looking both characters up, I think Yorick's screwed, though. It looks like many of Barb's strengths play right into Yorick's weaknesses.

#4 Callisto



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Posted 26 December 2012 - 03:15 PM

Match Final Results
B Good commentator-styled match.
Yorick Brown: 6
Barb Wire: 13
FPA: 3.0

#5 The Mad Hatter

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Posted 26 December 2012 - 04:08 PM

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Barb Wire just a gender-reversed version of Rick Blaine from "Casablanca"?

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