Posted 25 October 2012 - 03:33 PM
Blackadder Jeff sighs while his master continues the speech. Blackadder Christine notices this, and nudges him in the arm.
“Hey, what’s wrong,” she whispers underneath her breath, “you should be proud. We did a great job.”
Blackadder Jeff watches as Kingsnake paces towards the other side of the stage and orates towards the blackadder’s on the other side of the crowd.
“Yeah, I know,” he says, “but don’t you think this is all just a little,”
“Dramatic?” Christine says, “Melodramatic? Pompous?”
“Convoluted,” Jeff replies.
“What’s convoluted about it?”
“Well this is obviously just a massive stretch of a plotline, that only exists to give some arbitrary reason to bring Altair into this specific time and place to fight someone he’s never met before.”
“Well, ok, sure the story has to explain some exposition. But that doesn’t make it arbitrary or convoluted. It’s not like it reads, ‘and then Kingsnake pulls a time machine out of his trousers and sends Nightwing back to the middle ages where he happens to land on the exact same rooftop as Altair and they decide to kill each other right then and there’.”
Jeff shrugs in semi-acceptance. Kingsnake paces in front of them again, saying something about raining terror down on Bludhaven. As the boss passes, Jeff begins thinking about the difference between a rain of terror and a reign of terror, and wonders which specifically Kingsnake meant. When the boss is out of earshot he turns back to Christine.
“Ok, but don’t you think the means by which we found him to be somewhat unrealistic?”
“We found his body frozen in a glacier,” she replies, “That’s a perfectly good explanation. “
“It’s lazy. It’s not original. It’s the exact same way they found Captain America.”
“Jeff, I don’t think we’re supposed to be aware of who Captain America is. He’s way outside our continuity zone.”
“Ok fine,” Blackadder Jeff admits, “but think about it. A Middle-Eastern assassin freezing in a glacier. That doesn’t strike you as off?”
“Maybe he fell or got buried or something.”
“In a glacier. In a glacier just off the coast of the Arabian Peninsula? Because when you think of the southern Mediterranean Sea, you immediately picture a bunch of glaciers just floating around offshore.”
“Well I don’t know, with changing global weather patterns… arctic crawl or something… I don’t know, maybe his enemies ganged up on him, went to a glacier, and threw his body into it to get rid of him.”
“Maybe. But even if they were willing to travel thousands of miles to the nearest glacier to do that, rather than just tossing him in a ditch, why would we then come along and look for him?”
Christine is beginning to get frustrated with Jeff’s prattling.
“Because we’re Kobra,” she whispers loudly, “we do stuff like this. Terrorism, assassins, it’s all sort of our deal. We send Altair out to kill Nightwing, then take over the city once he’s gone.”
“But why Nightwing?”
“Because he’s a good guy and we’re bad guys, and this Altair guy can do tons of acrobatic killer moves to take him down.”
“But we’re not even Nightwing’s primary villains,” Jeff exclaims, “Why do we care if he lives or dies? Shouldn’t this story be about like… oh crap, who’s a Nightwing villain… Blockbuster?”
“I’m pretty sure Blockbuster’s dead,” Christine replies.
Jeff thinks for a moment.
“But didn’t he come back after the new 52?”
“I don’t think so,” Christine says, “I mean I don’t know.”
“So, batgirl gets her legs back, but the death of Blockbuster, which happened at an even later period, doesn’t get undone? That’s inconsistent.”
“Jeff I really don’t know, and to be honest this is another thing where I don’t think we should be aware of the continuity change since we are inside of it.”
“SILENCE!” Kingsnake bellows. Christine and Jeff stand to attention.
“I have had enough of you two chatting during my big speech. Especially you, Blackadder Jeff.”
“I got my eye on you.”
Kingsnake snorts, “Now, lower the body into the Lazarus Pit!”
Chains begin to creak as the frozen body of Altair is slowly dipped into the pit of green goo. Jeff stands over the side.
“Wait, we had a Lazarus Pit the whole time? Then why did he have to find his body in a glacier? We could have just found his buried body where it actually was in the games and then brought it here.”
Christine reaches her boiling point.
“Oh my God Jeff, shut up! Stop poking holes in everything, it kills the mood. This is why you eat lunch alone at the corner table.”
Jeff’s stares at his feet, and sniffles a bit.
A hand shoots from the Lazarus pit. Altair begins to climb from the molten goo pool. He stands before Kingsnake. The two men exchange glances; Altair clenches his fist, and says,
Kingsnake doesn’t respond. The Blackadders all sort of look at each other sheepishly. Their master strokes his chin in contemplation.
“So, wait, no, I got it now. He was speaking snake, because we’re Kobra. Just like Harry Potter. Excellent, a snake talker, I knew I liked this guy.”
“What?” Jeff exclaims, “that wasn’t snake speech, it was Arabic.”
“Oh. Really? But we’re in America, why would he speak Arabic?”
“Because that’s his language. What did you expect? That he would just miraculously know and speak English because that would be a convenient way to move the story along? English as we now know it didn’t even exist when he was alive!”
“Jeff, simmer down all right,” Christine says, “I got this.”
She then approaches Altair and quickly borrows one of his knives. The assassin watches her closely and begins to act somewhat defensively. She then produces a photo of Nightwing and begins to stab it with the knife. She then points to Altair.
“You,” She then points to the photo, “Nightwing. Stabby-stabby?”
Altair nods. He grasps the knife from her hands.
“وسيتم القيام به.”
He then backflips onto a nearby rafter then springs out an open skylight. Christine smiles.
“See, no trouble. He is definitely going out to assassinate Nightwing.”
Jeff rubs his eyes through his mask.
“Or he awoke in a completely new world after being essentially dead for a millennium, saw a bunch of people dressed as snakes, observed one of them start stabbing a photo, and figured he needed to get the hell away from us.”
“No, I saw it in his eyes. He’s definitely going out to kill someone. It’s how they work. He is an assassin and that is their purpose, their underlying statement. It’s the Assassin’s Creed, if you will.”
“Really? Reeeallly? (Sigh). No you’re right, he’s definitely going to go out and try and kill exactly who we want him to. Too bad he didn’t stick around long enough to get his equipment back.”
“Oh that’s fine,” Christine says, “he happened to be encased in the glacier with all his equipment already on him.”
“Sure he did. That makes total sense and I will not question it at all.”
“See,” she says, “it’s a lot easier that way.”
Posted 25 October 2012 - 03:33 PM
Read more about Nightwing at Wikipedia
Official Site: DC Comics Links: Nightwing Wiki Entry Mark Stewart's NW Homepage Hyperborea Nightwing entry
Read more about Altair at Wikipedia
Official Site: Ubisoft Links: Wikipedia Mahalo Assassin's creed wiki
Posted 25 October 2012 - 03:40 PM
Posted 25 October 2012 - 05:34 PM
Posted 25 October 2012 - 05:37 PM
Posted 25 October 2012 - 05:59 PM
I also think Altair and Nightwing both went to the same photographer. 'Ok, lean forward with the right leg and left arm. Clench your buttocks. Weapons in hand, now stare at the floor/hate-glare the camera. And hold."
Posted 25 October 2012 - 07:12 PM
Just to get his skill and experience level specified.
Are we talking towards the end, as an old man on his last leg? Did Ezio(or some of ezio's descendants), transport Altair's skeleton to where it was frozen in the glazier? Was he frozen as a young man, in his physical peak? or... ?
Posted 25 October 2012 - 07:14 PM
Posted 25 October 2012 - 07:33 PM
I like both characters, leaning towards Nightwing but not by much
Posted 25 October 2012 - 07:51 PM
The Lazarus pit regenerates him back to physical peak like it might with Ra's. So he's about the same age he works at when he's in the game.
And that didn't answer my question at all. I know how the Pit works, I know he's in physical peak during the match. My question was, when(i.e. at which age) was he frozen down in the Glazier where they found him?
Posted 25 October 2012 - 07:56 PM
Posted 25 October 2012 - 10:11 PM
Posted 25 October 2012 - 10:47 PM
Posted 25 October 2012 - 10:54 PM
Posted 25 October 2012 - 11:08 PM
Just his playable weapons? (His weapon loadout is way better like halfway through his life than by the end of AC1)
Altair has all his available gear in the games at his disposal since he's already working with a nine century technological handicap.
Posted 25 October 2012 - 11:31 PM
Posted 25 October 2012 - 11:37 PM
Then i reckon Nightwing wins due to superior high-tech gadgets and whatnot, but they are pretty close skill-wise, so a hand-to-hand fight between the two could go either way.
It could get to H-H very quick since Altair would be the initiator. Though he lacks technology, his weapons are designed to be lethal and NW's are specifically designed to not be lethal.
Plus there's always walk up, prick, 'hey who was that guy', 'oh wow I feel poisoned', dead. Or was that only in revelations? I should have played all these games as preparation for a electric ferret match.
Posted 26 October 2012 - 08:21 AM
Dick Grayson for the win here after a tough fight.
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